I Love You, I Just Can't Be With You
by rachel2502
Summary: Haley and Nathan have been friends since they were kids. Then, Haley moves away. Years later, when they are in high school, Haley comes back. But things are more complicated now. She loves him but she has a secret.
1. The Beginning

Introduction

Haley sat by the sandbox in her back yard. She reached into the sandbox and grabbed a handful of sand. She let the sand slide of her hand like water. She smiled, her little three year old face beaming with pleasure.

"Haley! Haley, honey! Come meet the new neighbors', her mum yelled from inside the house.

Haley stood up on her short fat little legs and toddled over to the back door. Her mum smiled down at her. She put her hand down and little Haley grabbed two of her mum's fingers with her whole hand. Her mum bent down and lifted her up.

"Honey, this is the new people in the house next door", her mum said, pointing to someone in front of her.

It was then that Haley turned her little head around and stared at the little boy being carried by this lady.

"Hi, aren't you a cutie?" the lady said.

"Yes, she is", the little boy in her arms muttered then promptly stuck his fingers in his mouth.

"Come on, Deb. Let's leave these two in the sandbox and have a cup of tea", Haley's mum said while the two children stared at each other in awe.

As soon as Haley and the little boy were left on their own in the sandbox with their mums having tea in the back patio, they greeted themselves in the typical 3 year old fashion.

"Haley", the little girl said sticking her hand out.

"I'm Nathan. Nathan Scott", the little boy said proudly, grabbing her hand and shaking it a few times.

The two children played in their sandbox for the next half an hour, barely talking but each aware of the other's presence.  
It was only later when their mums took them out for ice cream, did they connect for the first time it what would be a long and complex relationship.

"Here, one for you Nathan and Haley, that's yours", Haley's mum said giving them each an ice-cream cone. She and Deb then left them in the security of a public play-pen in the park with ten other 3 year olds playing under the watchful but tired eye of the old lady in charge of the play pen.

Nathan and Haley sat in one corner, licking their melting ice-creams, each sitting in their own silence, unable to comprehend the feeling they felt for one another. It was not love for love was a far too complex thing to be able to be understood by simple minded three year old. It was more of an understanding between these two strangers who had nothing in common.

"Hali, Hali stop crying. Why you cry?' little Nathan said unable to pronounce her name properly.

"My ice-cream fell", she said, pouting.

"Here, have mine", little Nathan said, giving her his barely touched ice-cream.

"But you like ice-cream", Haley said, tears streaming down her face.

"Yeah, but I like you too and I want you to be happy", he said, grabbing her hand in his little fist and putting the ice-cream carefully in her hand. "Don't drop again".

Haley licked her new ice-cream then looked at him.

"Thank you", she smiled, looking at her hero.

Nathan awed her by her sweet smile knew that he had just me an angel. 


	2. Why It Isn't So

Chapter 1

"Haley! Haley! Come back here!" Nathan Scott shouted, running through the woods.

Haley ran and ran until she reached the spot. She panted and took a deep breathe then climbed up the tree in front of her.

She had only climbed up a little way when she felt the tree shake as someone else started to climb up it.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" she shouted at the figure below her.

"Over my dead body, Hales", Nathan shouted back.

She climbed with all the strength and all the might a nine year old girl could possess. She only allowed herself to stop when she reached her destination, a long strong branch that could not allow a grown man to sit but was strong enough for two nine year olds to sit side by side comfortably.

She sat down there, the breeze gently waving her long hair. She pretended otherwise, but secretly she longed for him to reach the branch because he was the one. The one she loved more than anyone to come across her life and it was him that she went to for love and compassion.

He reached the branch half a minute after her. He would have arrived faster but he nicked himself on the side of the tree while climbing up. He didn't stop to check his wound for the wound that hurt more was his best friend sitting in a branch above him feeling like her heart has been ripped into a million pieces.

"Haley, you know you're not supposed to come here without me. What if you fall and I'm not here to protect you?" Nathan said, sitting next to Haley on the branch.

She looked at him solemnly, with big sad eyes. His heart breaks for he realizes that he can't always protect her.

"Oh, Bugs", he said softly, using his special nickname for her. He has been calling her that since they were 5 because she had two big front teeth that resembled the cartoon character, Bugs Bunny. Even with her two big front teeth, he though she was the most beautiful girl in the universe.

He wrapped his strong little arms around her and she finally cries. He hugs her while she sobs and wails for her mum and dad who are long gone. They had been in a car accident and died almost instantly. Haley had not been with them. She had been with Nathan in the park together. She had come home to find a crying Auntie Deb who had told her as easily as she could that her parents were never coming home. Never going to hug her good night, never going to tell her how proud they are of her, never going to love her like no one else would except for the little boy next to her holding her like he was never going to let go.

She had been in shock and had gone into auto-pilot, never shedding a tear. It wasn't until during the funeral when she stood at the back, not wanting to be near the two coffins that it hit her. She was an orphan, with no mummy or daddy coming to comfort her. She turned and ran into the woods. Her ever loving Nathan followed her to comfort her like no one else could.

They must have sat there for an hour, her crying, he holding her. Finally her tears subsided and she stood still.

"I got an idea, Bugs. Wanna hear it?" he said, brushing a strand of her away from her face.

She looked at him and nodded.

"Let's run away together. We can get married and live happily ever after like in the books", he said.

She thought about it for a few seconds then she turned to him and said in a shy voice "do you really wanna marry me?".

"Of course I do. I love you. Don't you love me?" he said, waiting for her response, biting his lip nervously.

"You know I do, Naty", she said, using her special nickname for her.

"Great. Let's get married now", he said, pulling her to the tree trunk and helping her down.

Once they reached the ground, they looked at each other for a moment. Then, he said "First, we must do it proper like and kiss".

She smiled at him as he brushed his lips against hers. She giggled and said "that tickles".

"Now, repeat after me, I, Haley James", he said in his best grown up voice.

"I, Haley James", she said, gazing into his blue eyes adoringly.

"Take...Oh, man! Mum's calling", he said, staring at the direction where the sound seemed to come from.

"Never mind. We do it later. I will still want to do it because I love you, Nathan Scott", she said, taking his hand.

"I love you too Haley James. Promise me we will come back here and marry soon", he said, holding on to her hand.

"Promise".

They smiled at each other then ran off, holding hands as if they will never let go. But they finally did.

No matter how much their lives changed, they still remembered the promise they made in their secret haven when all they wanted and all they had was each other. 


	3. Promise me

Haley walked out of her front door, feeling nervous. She wished her uncle was here with her but he was in South America, doing research for yet another science experiment.  
She walked to her car that was parked at the end of the driveway and got in. She tried to start the car but her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking of the day she left Tree Hill.

Flashback

She stared out into the water, watching the waves curl up against one another. She felt his presence but didn't turn around.

"Mum says Uncle Keith's coming soon so you better get ready to go", he said, sitting next to her in the beach.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

They sat there, thinking of the future that lay in front of them. A future without each other.

Haley's Uncle Keith and loving guardian had flown all the way from South America to come and get Haley. He lived in the Amazon and spent his days doing scientific research. Haley hated the idea of living somewhere other than Tree Hill. She hated the idea of living in a hut, with bugs and disgusting animals all around. She hated the idea of having a tutor to teach her instead of school. But most of all, she hated to go for she would never see him again and that hurt her more than anything else.

"Naty", she said softly, finally looking at him.

"Will you promise me..." her voice trailed off.

He looked at her, waiting.

"Promise me you will never forget me", she said, her voice breaking.

He didn't say anything. He just took her in his arms and they laid there, waiting for destiny to separate them but dreading it too. The love between them was unspoken but they felt it, their own and each others. And when the time was right, Nathan knew he would save her like he had been doing all their life and he would fulfill their promise. Both of their promises.

End of Flashback

She turned the car engine on and pulled away from the driveway. Her mind was on the last 8 years of her life. She had spent most of that time in the Amazon jungles. She was right. She had hated it, but only in the beginning. After a month of staying there, she had found that she loved the outdoors, the smell of the fresh air, the sound of water lapping in streams. Her uncle was her best friend, her favorite companion. Sure, she missed hanging out with people her age but she learnt more in those 8 years than most people learnt in a lifetime. There were other people too living in other huts around. Mostly South Americans but there were some scientists from the States as well. Everyone around her was much older than her. When she grew older, she decided that it was a good thing for it made her more mature and independent. There was a woman there, someone's wife who became Haley's tutor. For five hours a day, Haley would go to her hut and learn there.

When she turned 16, her uncle decided that she needed American influence. So he sent her away to summer camp for three months. She resented it at first but soon made a lot of friends. But the problem was she couldn't keep in touch with any of them for there were no phones where she lived. That was what hurt the most. That she once again had to say goodbye, just like long ago, she had to say goodbye to the person she loved most in the world.

So, she asked her uncle if she could go back to Tree Hill and finish her education there. After many arguments, he finally agreed. She would stay in her parent's house that even after 8 years, they had not been able to sell. And he would visit her every two months.

So, a few days before school was to start, she packed her  
bags and headed to the one place she truly called home - Tree Hill


	4. The New Kid In The Old Block

So, there it was. Tree Hill High. Haley drove slowly around until she found an empty spot. She parked her car and slowly got out. She nervously made her way to the front doors. All around her were kids. There were so many of them it made her even more nervous. She, who had once grabbed a snake by its neck, was scared of a bunch of high school kids!

She opened the school's front doors and walked in. It seemed that everyone was staring at her, drilling holes into her with their glare, and somehow knowing that she didn't belong.

She made her way to her locker. As she opened it, she heard someone say behind her "so, you new here?"

She turned around and saw this guy standing in front of her with a kind smile.

"Yeah, just moved here a couple of days ago. I'm Haley James", she said, sticking her hand out.

He shook it with a distant look in his eye. Why does that name sound so familiar? he thought.

"I'm Jake. So where are you from", he said, leaning against her neighbors locker door while she put some books in her locker.

"Um, here actually. But I've been living in the Amazon for the past 8 years", she said, shutting her locker and turning to face him.

"Amazon? That's beyond cool", he said, smiling at her.

"Thanks. Um, I hope you don't mind but I got couple of things to ask you", she said.

"Sure. Ask away".

"First, where's Room 142?" she said, holding up her class schedule.

"It's on my way to class. I'll show you", he said. He turned and walked down the hall. She struggled to keep up with him without bumping anyone on the way.

"Second?" he asked when she caught up.

"Second, do you know anyone here named Nath..." the first bell rang, signaling the end of their conversation.

"Sorry, I got to go. This is Room 142.Do you want to meet up for lunch. Great. See you then", and with that Jake ran down the hallway and turned into a classroom on the right.

She stared after him, then turned and bumped into a guy as she made her way into class. She didn't look up for she didn't want the guy to associate her with the word 'clumsy'.

"Sorry", she said, then ran into her classroom. The boy, who had his nose glued to a book, didn't look up until he heard her voice.

"Haley?" he called after her but she couldn't hear him for she already made her way to the back of the class. He, with his heart banging loudly against his ribcage craned his head to look at her. But before he could get a good look at her, he felt someone tap him on his shoulder.

"Mr. Scott, are you planning on joining me in my classroom today?" his first period teacher, Mr. Dorrison said.

"Yes, sir. It's just..." he tried to say before he was interrupted.

"No excuses boy. Follow me".

And with that, Nathan Scott was dragged off to his first class. He couldn't concentrate on any of his classes for his mind was on her. He had not seen her for years but not one day went by that he didn't think of her, that he didn't miss her. And not one day went by that he forgot of their promise.


	5. Have we met before?

Haley sat in her last class before lunch, waiting or her teacher to arrive. She had enjoyed her first few classes and even managed to make a few friends but she missed her uncle and regretted coming back to Tree Hill.

She was looking out the window when she heard someone shout her name. She turned around and saw a familiar looking girl rush right at her. Haley stood up, not wanting to appear rude. 

"Haley! What are you doing here?" the girl said grabbing Haley and hugging her tightly.

"Peyton? Peyton Sawyer? Oh my God, I had no idea you went here", Haley said, recognizing her friend from camp.

"I had no idea you moved here", she said.

"Well, actually..." Haley began but was cut off by another girl.

"Hi, I'm Brooke Davis. Peyton Sawyer's best friend. If she would remember that", Brooke said, glaring at Peyton.

"Ignore her, she's just mad that I forgot our anniversary of the day we met", Peyton said, smiling while Brooke continued to glare.

"The anniversary? Um...what? Sorry, I'm kinda new to this. I'm Haley, by the way", Haley said, sticking her hand out at Brooke.

"Oh, Amazon girl. I heard about you", Brooke said, uninterested, completely ignoring Haley's hand.

Brooke then turned away and walked to her seat in the front of the class.

"Ignore her. She's just very protective of me", Peyton said apologetically.

"I bet".

"So, you wanna hang out tomorrow after school? Shop or something?" Peyton asked.

"I'd love that. Sure", Haley said, grinning widely.

"Okay. See you later, then", she walked off to console a not very happy Brooke.

Haley sat back down, thinking _Okay, Tree Hill isn't so bad after all. I just hope Nathan's still lives here_.

--------------------------

"Haley, over here!" someone shouted in the courtyard. Haley turned and saw Jake sitting alone in a table not too far from where she was standing.

"Hey", she said, setting her tray down.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind but a couple of friends are going to join us", Jake said, taking a huge bite out of his burger.

"That's cool. I'd love to meet more people".

"So, how was your first day?"?

"Good, made a few friends. United with an old one. Do you know Peyton Sawyer?"

Jake suddenly had a coughing fit.

"Pey...Peyton Sawyer. You know her?" Jake asked, after taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, we went to camp together".

Jake kept quiet and concentrated on his food.

"So, listen. Do you know anyone here named Nath...", she was interrupted once again but this time by the appearance of a tall guy with blond hair.

"Hey, Jake. What's up, man?" the boy said, sitting next to Haley, opposite Jake.

"Hey man. This is Haley. She's new", Jake said.

"Hey. I'm Lucas. So, where you from?" Lucas said, grabbing Jake's burger from him and ignoring Jake's cry of protest.

"Here, actually but I moved ...", she chatted on as the lunch period flew by.

With only a few minutes left for lunch, Jake ran off to buy another burger. Lucas and Haley continued to chat like good friends. It was just then that another guy walked up to their table and sat in the place that until recently Jake occupied. He sat with his back facing Haley for he didn't know she was there. Haley didn't notice him either for her eyes was rooted  
on her food.

It was not until a few moments later that Nathan finally turned around. He noticed the same girl who had bumped into him in the hallway. Earlier, he had scolded himself for thinking that that girl was Haley because there was no way that she who be back in Tree Hill. She had been gone for what seemed like forever and there was no chance he would ever see her again. He also warned himself that unless he forgot about her and how much he had loved her, he would be living a lonely life.

Just as Nathan was about to introduce himself, Lucas , having heard someone calling his name excused himself and left the two of them alone. Haley, realizing that Lucas had left, finally looked up.

It was that moment that they would remember for the rest of their life. It seemed that everything around them stopped and disappear and all they could see or hear was each other. It seemed that time itself had stopped still for these two lovers.

Haley stared into those familiar blue eyes like it was just yesterday that they had held each other in the beach. Nathan looked at her and recalled how much he missed, how much he loved her. She looked so different yet exactly the same. They wanted to reach out to ensure that they weren't dreaming but they couldn't move.

Finally after what seemed like eternity, he said breathlessly "hi".

"Hi", she responded in the same tone.

The lunch bell was what shook them apart. Nathan turned around and noticed that everyone was headed back into school. He turned back to her and said "Haley" and stopped short.

She was gone.

He jumped up, looking for her everywhere. _No! No, this can't be a dream. I can't lose her again._.. He finally spotted her just as she was about to enter the school's door. Just before she disappeared inside, she looked over at him and they smiled then she was gone.


	6. Playing Matchmaker

**Hey guys. Thank you for all the great reviews. I actually wrote the first 17 chapters already. I'm just waiting for more reviews before I post each one up. So, the more reviews, the faster the updates! Thanks again. And happy holidays!**

Haley stepped out of the school's front doors and walked towards her car. As she was getting into her car, a girl walking with a bunch of friends shouted "hey, Haley!" Haley waved and the other girls smiled and waved back.

_Actually all in all, today was a pretty good day, she thought. Made new friends, had good teachers, saw Naty_. She groaned. Every time she played that scene in her mind, she regretted it.

She started her car and pulled away from school. _I mean, why on earth did I have to run away?_ She knew why. It was because she loved him too much. And she didn't want to get hurt again. Just like she got hurt when she left Tree Hill all those years ago. She knew the main reason why she had come here was not to get a proper American education before applying for college. It was because she wanted to see him, she needed to.

She drove to the grocery store, mad at herself for running away._ I must be some kinda lunatic. I come all this way for him and when I finally see him, I run like a chicken._

When she entered the air-conditioned store, she felt out of place. In the Amazon, there were no grocery stores. You ate what you grew. She and her uncle had lived off carrots and Brussels sprouts most of the time. Once a month, they would walk 3 miles to the nearest village and buy meat from the local butcher.

Haley walked around the grocery store, greedily picking out everything she liked. For the first time in a very long time, Nathan Scott was not the first thing in her mind. When she came into the chocolate section, she nearly lost her mind. The last time she had chocolate was in a park, with him. She stopped filing her shopping cart with chocolate. She closed her eyes and leaned against her cart, thinking about him and how she was gonna get him back. Tears filled her eyes when she realized that he probably had a girlfriend and had forgotten all about him. But that wouldn't explain the look in his eyes when he looked at her today.

"Haley James!" a familiar voice called out from behind. Haley opened her eyes and turned around while wiping a stray tear that had fallen from her eye. In front of her stood someone she never thought she'd see again.

"Oh my God! Aunt Deb!" Haley said, rushing up to her and giving her a huge hug. "How are you?"?

"I'm good. But more importantly, how are you? And what are you doing here? I've missed you, child", Deb chatted non-stop when they broke apart.

"I'm great. I'm actually..." they chatted on for a few minutes, glad to be reunited again after such a long time.

Haley looked at Deb and thought about how much she had missed her. Deb was like a second mother to her, always taking care of her, especially when after her parents died.

Deb was astonished by Haley. _She's grown up to be so beautiful. I wonder if Nathan's seen her. I'm glad she's back. He's been so lost without her._ All of a sudden a brilliant thought struck her mind.

"Haley, honey, I'm sorry, I'm late for an appointment. But we have so much catching up to do. Are you free for dinner tonight?" Deb said, with a smile.

Haley had lived on take out food ever since she got here, which was two days ago. She had been too busy with applying to the high school and other stuff to cook. She was actually planning on making a nice dinner for herself but abandoned that thought immediately.

"Sure, that'd be great. I'd love to", Haley said, giving Deb a big smile.

"Okay. Here's the address for our house. We moved about a year after you left", Deb said, scribbling on a piece of paper. "Come by around 7.30".And with another hug, she walked off, in a hurry.

Haley stood there for a second before walking to the cashier. She paid for her stuff and five minutes later was on her way home.

As soon as she reached her house, she rushed and put all her groceries in the kitchen before running up to her room. She threw open her closet door and looked for something nice to wear. In the Amazon, she had lived of cargo pants and sweatshirts. During the past two days, she had used some of the money Uncle Keith had given her and went on a shopping spree. She stood in front of her closet for awhile before picking out a nice outfit. She glanced at the clock and realized that she had plenty of time before she had to leave for the Scotts. She laid on her bed and was soon in deep sleep.

_I'm late! Oh God, how did I get so late?_ She rushed around her bedroom, applying some gloss and wearing her black clogs. She looked in the mirror, satisfied with how she looked before rushing down the stairs and out of the house.

Haley cared about her appearance but wasn't obsessed with it like other girls. Her fashion sense can be described in the phrase 'casual and cute'. She wore a pair of slacks and a white off the shoulder top, little make-up, and only a pair of silver earrings.

She drove carefully for ten minutes until she reached the Scott's neighborhood. When she arrived in front of their house, she gaped in shock at it. It was huge, as in ten bedrooms, one swimming pool at the back huge. 

More than slightly intimidated, she got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. When she reached the front door, she looked at the watch. _Shoot, It's 7.45._, she thought. She put on a bright smile then rang the doorbell


	7. Three Again

_**hey! Thx so much for the reviews. Love them! Keep em coming. I enjoyed reading them so much, that I posted two chapters. So, thx again. and Happy New Year.**_

_30 minutes earlier_

Nathan looked at himself in the mirror for about the fiftieth time. He was wearing a pair of tan cargo pants and a blue T-shirt. _Not bad_, he decided. _Not too formal, pretty casual. Looks like I'm going on a second date with someone I'm not really interested in._ He groaned inwardly. First of all, not only was he interested in her. He was crazy in love with her. Second, it wasn't a second date. It was a dinner...with his parents. As in his mum and Dan.

_Why even bother?_, he thought, _she probably doesn't even remember me. _He cringed at the thought of what happened that day in the cafeteria. Blowing him off was one thing, but running away?_ Talk about mixed signals, a few seconds before that, the way she was staring at me, I thought she actually..._ He brushed that thought away. As much as his heart broke at the thought of it, maybe loving her and waiting for her all those years were all a waste. Maybe she's in a serious relationship. _Maybe...maybe I should just forget my promise to her..._

"Nathan, you coming down out or what? I need your help", Deb said, sticking her head inside his room.

"Yeah, mum, coming", Nathan said, running his hand through his hair before following his mum down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

"Okay, I need you to set the table and light all the candles", Deb said before adding a few spices into the frying pan in front of her.

"Mum, you do know I'm a guy, right?" Nathan said, staring at his mum.

"Yeah, what's your point?" his mum said, staring him in the eye, waiting for her son's next words.

"Nothing, happy to do it".

"That's my unsexist macho son", Deb said, trying not to laugh.

Nathan laughed then walked into the dining room to prepare for the evening. Fifteen minutes later, Deb walked in.

"Thanks Nathan. The table looks great", Deb said, smiling.

"Ok, Mum. I gotta go get something. Be back in five".

Nathan ran up to his room and quickly changed. Two minutes later, he was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a white button down shirt. Before he could change his mind again, the doorbell rang. He froze, but not for long. Because just then he heard the door open and someone saying in a sarcastic voice "Why Paley, so nice to see you again".

He ran out of his room and down the stairs. Halfway down, he heard the voice say again "Oh, I'm sorry, _Haley_. You just looked very pale; I assumed that was your name. Are you not feeling well? You look very sick".

Nathan didn't stop to think. He jumped down the rest of the stairs and ran into the foyer that led to the front door.

Haley was standing in the doorway, staring at Dan insulted. Just then Deb came into the room, taking off oven mitts as she walked towards Haley.

"Haley! So glad you came! Ah, Nathan, there you are! Dan, do you mind helping me with something in the kitchen?", and with that Deb grabbed Dan by his hand and practically dragged him to the kitchen with her.

And just like that, Haley and Nathan were left alone.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Nathan stuffed his hands into his pockets and said "so you figured if you can't be me, then you wanna dress like me and see how far that takes you?" jokingly, referring to their similar color combination.

Haley didn't say anything. She just walked up to him and hugged him. After a moment of being stunned, Nathan wrapped his strong arms around her waist and returned the hug. And for a moment they were two three year olds again without a care in the world.


	8. Do you still remember?

"Oh, this is a cute one!", Deb said, pointing at a picture.

Dinner was a pleasant experience. Dan, after being reprimanded by Deb for being mean to Haley kept quiet the whole time. Nathan and Haley were shy at first for they were not sure how to act around one another but once the ice was broken, they were talking like Haley never left town. Deb was the perfect hostess, smiling knowingly at Nathan and Haley the whole time.

After dinner, Deb, Nathan and Haley went to the living room where Deb took out some old family albums. Dan had muttered some excuse for not joining them much to the relief of everyone else.

Haley looked at the picture Deb had pointed to. The three of them were sitting on a huge couch, with Deb in the middle, holding the photo album in her lap. The picture was one of Nathan and Haley at the park. They were four at the time and Nathan was pushing Haley on the swings.

"Yeah, I remember that day. This picture was taken right before you pushed me really hard and I fell", Haley said, laughing at the memory.

"Okay, that was an accident. I would never hurt you on purpose", Nathan said quietly. Then he grinned and said "but it was the only way to get you off!".

The two of them smiled at each other for a split second before looking away shyly. But it didn't go unnoticed by Deb.

"Oh my God! It's 9.15 already. I got to go. I promised a friend that I will meet her at 9.30", Deb lied, getting off the couch.

"Oh, I guess I should go too", Haley said, standing up.

"No, no, you should stay. You and Nathan have a lot of catching up to do. Bye", and with that, Deb walked out of the room so fast that neither of them had the time to reply.

Haley turned to face Nathan slowly who was still sitting down on the couch. They looked at each other awkwardly. This was the first time in 8years that they were alone together. Haley sat back on the couch at the same time that Nathan stood up.

"Do you wanna a drink?", Nathan said walking to the door.

"I would love one actually. Do you have...".

"Mango juice?", Nathan asked. Haley smiled, slightly shocked that he could still remember.

Nathan left the room. Haley took the oppurtunity to grab the photo album that Deb had dropped on the floor and flipped through it. Nearly every picture of Nathan from the age of three up until the age of nine had Haley in it. She smiled, reminiscing.

"Here you go", Nathan said, coming into the room,holding two glasses and handing her one. "You do realize that you've been drinking that from the time you were six?".

"Hey! Mango juice is the drink of the Gods!".

Nathan grinned. He looked around as if unsure of what to do. After a moment, he joined her on the couch.

"Do you remember this one?", Haley pointed at a picture.

Flashback

"Mummy! Help!", five year old Haley shrieked. A few minutes ago, she had been playing dolls by herself in her backyard. Bored, she decided to climb the tall tree that was at the edge of her yard. Once she got up there, she realized she couldn't get down. What made matters worst was the wind that shook the tree, threatening to drop Haley.

Nathan at that time was playing basketball in his backyard. He had just made his first basket ever and was going to rush in to tell his dad when he heard her scream

"Haley?", he said, while running to her backyard. For a moment, he thought he imagined her scream for he couldn't see her. But then, he looked up and saw her on the tree holding on for dear life.

"Hold on, Hales", and with that he ran to the tree before scrambling up to rescue her.

"Grab my hand and I will help you down", he said, when he reached her.

She tried to but she was too scared to let go.

"I can't", she said, crying. Just then, Haley's dad rushed out of the house. He saw Haley in the tree crying and Nathan trying to help her down. He ran to his garage muttering "where's that stupid ladder?".

Nathan having seen Haley's dad decided the only thing he could do was stay with Haley until her dad came. So, he sat on the branch she was on and held her while she cried.

Ten minutes later, Haley's dad finally found the ladder and rescued a now calm Haley. Nathan, after making sure she got down alright then slid down the tree like a cat.

"Oh my God!. Baby girl, are you alright?", Haley's mum said, hugging her. She had just arrived on the scene after seeing her husband climb up the ladder to rescue their only child.

"Of course I'm alright. I was with Naty", Haley said, looking at him.

End of Flashbak

"You were always protecting me", Haley said, looking at him. Her heart tightened. He was so handsome, with his smooth black hair and cool blue eyes.

"Well, you were always supporting me. Remember my first basketball game?", he said, smiling.

Flashback

"Go Nathan! Come on! You can do it!", she shouted until her voice went hoarse. With fifteen seconds on the clock and the score a draw, she decided that he needed all the cheers he could get.

The other team had the ball and was running to the hoop

Fourteen...Thirteen...

Nathan blocked the other teams attempt to shoot.

Ten...Nine...

Nathan run to the other side of the court while dribbling the ball

Five...Four

He jumped up and threw the ball

Three...Two...

The ball rolled around the hoop

One...

The ball slid in, which made Nathan's team the winner and Nathan a hero.

The crowds went wild and cheered endlessly. His teammates grabbed him and hugged him. But after a while, he broke off from the group hug and walked to the stands. There she was, standing at the bottom of the stands. He walked slowly up to her. Once he reached her, he smiled and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She grabbed him and hugged him proudly. He whispered against her ear "thanks Bugs for cheering me on."

"Always and forever, Naty".

End Of Flashback

Haley yawned. Nathan looked at her and stopped talking.

"Okay, Miss James. I get the picture. I'm boring you", Nathan teased.

They had been sitting together for two hours, talking about everything and nothing. Haley was sitting cross legged on the couch while Nathan was lying down with his head on her knee.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea it was so late. I have to go", Haley said, standing up and in the process, forcing Nathan to sit up.

"Oh, okay. I will walk you to your car".

They walked to the front door where Nathan opened the door and they both walked out. Haley looked at the skies and smiled. Perfect weather to end a perfect night.

They walked to her car in pleasant silence. Once, they got there, they stood there, awkwardly, not sure how to say goodbye.

"So, see you tomorrow", Haley said, lightly, opening her car door.

"Wait Haley. There's something I have to tell you", Nathan said, putting a hand on her arm.

_This is it. I'm going to tell her how I feel. Worst come to worst, she doesn't feel the same way, it's too weird to remain friends and I walk off with a broken heart and I lose her...again_. And with that, Nathan for the first time in his life, chickened out and said "It was good to see you again".


	9. The Person You've Become

Haley practically skipped through the hallways of her school until she reached her locker. She saw Jake by his locker and sneaked up behind him.

"Good morning!" she said, into his ear.

Jake jumped. "Jesus, Hales! What was that for?"

Haley giggled and said "Nothing. It's just a good morning. That's all".

Jake looked at her like she just grew a third ear.

He waited until she grabbed her books from her locker then they walked to class together.

"So, enjoying school so far?" Jake asked.

"Honestly", Haley crinkled her nose." I think school is horrible! I mean the classes; the teachers drive me up the wall! As for my friends", she made a gagging motion. Then she winked at Jake to let him know she was kidding.

"Okay, are you going to tell me what happened between today and yesterday at school that made you like this?" he said, yawning, clearly not amused by her cheerful mood.

Before she could reply, the bell rang. They rushed into class just as their teacher walked in. As their teacher started teaching, Haley's mind drifted away and she thought of Jake's question. The answer was simple, just two words...Nathan Scott.

------------------

Haley made her way through the cafeteria line. Even the gooey substance on her tray the school called 'meat loaf' couldn't bring her down. She had a great day so far. The only problem was she didn't see Nathan.

Problem solved. He was sitting in a table right in the center of the cafeteria. He was with a bunch of cool looking seniors, which was surprising since he was a year younger than all of them. Although the youngest, he was by far the most good looking one in the table.

"Hey, Nathan", Haley said, walking up to his table and sitting down.

Nathan's eyes widened but other than that he showed no response to her arrival. The seniors just ignored her.

"So, I was wondering if you would like to..." Haley said, trying to cut her extremely spongy meat loaf.

"Do you know this kid, Nate?" a senior said, finally acknowledging her. The other seniors turned and looked at her.

Haley was about to answer when Nathan said "of course not, she's just one of those pathetic chicks that follow me around".

Haley looked at him in shock while the seniors laughed. Nathan looked everywhere else but at her.

"It would be a good idea for you to leave because I told you before, I'm not interested," he said, finally looking at her.

Haley stood up slowly, still in shock. Then she grabbed her tray and ran out of the cafeteria. On the way out, she threw her food in the trash.

She had just lost her appetite.


	10. Stranger At The Door

**Hey! Thank you so much for the reviews. To be honest, I was worried that nobody will have reviewed yet, so thanks! And I know the last chapter was kinda short and this one too but I promise that once in awhile, I will post two chapters at the same time. If I get more reviews**

"Do you have this in light blue?" Brooke asked, holding up a summer dress.

"Brooke that is light blue", Peyton groaned.

Brooke looked at Peyton in pity and said "Peyt, I love you and all but you sound like you've been living in the Amazon all your life", she looked over at Haley and said "no offense".

"None taken", Haley said, holding up her hands.

"This", she said motioning towards the dress, "is _baby_ blue. Light blue is more like the color of ...," she thought for a second before saying dreamily "Lucas's eyes".

Peyton and Haley exchanged looks, trying not to laugh.

"Anyway", Brooke said, snapping out of her thoughts of Lucas, "I look awful in light blue and awesome in baby blue. Any questions?"

Peyton and Haley shook their heads.

"Good", Brooke walked off to the dressing rooms holding at least a dozen dresses.

"I'm sorry about this. Brooke gets kinda obsessed with the whole clothes thing", Peyton said to Haley.

They were at the mall shopping. Or at least, Brooke was shopping and Peyton and Haley were watching and making fun of Brooke whenever possible.

Haley smiled to let Peyton know that it was ok.

"But I promise you after Brooke gets done here, we can go get some ice-cream and catch up", Peyton said.

"It's no problem, Peyt. It's kinda nice to hang out in the mall", Haley assured her.

Half an hour later, an annoyed Brooke was dragged off to the ice-cream parlor by a fed up Peyton with an amused Haley trailing behind.

Once, they ordered, Peyton immediately said, "Brooke, isn't there something you would like to tell Haley?"

Brooke groaned then said, "Ok, ok. I'm sorry Haley for treating you badly yesterday. Blah blah blah, please accept my apology".

Haley and Peyton burst out laughing at the expression on Brooke's face. Brooke ignored them and started checking out the guy at the next table.

"Ok, so tell me. How's high school life so far?", Peyton asked.

"It's been go..." Haley started to say before she remembered the scene in the cafeteria. "Actually, it was good up until...um what do you know about Nathan Scott?"

Brooke stopped checking out the guy and she and Peyton exchanged looks.

"Haley, this is probably going to be the best piece of advice I can give you and that is stay away from Nathan Scott", Brooke said.

Haley looked at Peyton to see if they were kidding but Peyton's face was serious.

"Okay. Why? Does he have cooties or something", Haley joked.

"You want to know about Nathan Scott then let's give you the 411", Brooke said, glancing at Peyton who nodded.

"Nathan Scott is among the most popular, the most good looking guys in our school", Peyton said.

"Captian of the basketball team, eventhough he is a junior", Brooke added.

"Son of Dan Scott, richest man in Tree Hill".

"Girls drool all over him and all of them walk away with a broken heart", Peyton said giving Haley a look.

Their sundaes arrived, giving Haley a moment to collect her thoughts.

"So, is he some kind of player?", Haley asked, afraid of the answer.

"No, no. Definitely not. I don't think he has ever dated a girl before", Brooke said.

"He flirts with them, sure but nothing more than that", Peyton added.

"So, what about you two? Hang up on any guy?", Haley asked, changing the subject.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something. How well do you know Lucas Scott?", Brooke asked.

"Not well actually. I just met him yesterday and we talked for a ...Wait, did you say Lucas _Scott_?".

"Yeah, didn't you know? He's Nathan Scott's long lost half brother. They didn't know each other until about five years ago when Lucas's mom died and Lucas was forced to live with Dan. Nobody really knows the full story but the gossip around school is that Lucas hates Dan and moved out a couple of months back", Brooke said, piling up ice cream in her mouth.

"Yeah. And who started that rumor?", Peyton said, looking at Brooke.

Brooke beamed.

-------------

Haley drove home alone an hour later. She was thrilled at the thought of actually having for once in her life friends who were girls.

She reached her empty house and went to the kitchen. She had her heart set on a homemade pizza and started making it.  
Twenty minutes later, she threw her burnt attempt at a pizza into the dustbin and ordered pizza via telephone.

By the time the doorbell rang, she had completed her homework. She grabbed some spare cash and made her way to the front door. She opened it with her 'hi stranger' smile. Her smile faltered when she saw who it was.


	11. Don't Say I Never Gave You Anything

"Hey",the familiar looking pizza guy said.

"Hi", Haley frowned, wondering where she had seen this guy before.

"We met earlier today. You know, at lunch", the guy said, answering her unspoken question.

_Oh, yeah_, Haley thought, _he was one of the seniors sitting at Nathan Jerk Scott's table_. Her cheeks flushed in embarrasement when she recalled that moment.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I was going to say something but you left so fast, I didn't have time to open my mouth", the guy said, smiling.

"It's okay. It's not your fault", Haley looked at her feet.

"I'm Damien West, by the way", the guy said, giving her another smile.

Haley, for the first time noticed his undeniable good looks. He had really green eyes and brown hair that fell across his forehead perfectly.

"Haley James".

"So, Haley James, I was just wondering if um...well, would you like to maybe do something tommorow night", Damien said, staring at the floor, like he was suddenly shy.

"Like a date?", Haley asked, slightly taken aback.

"Well, um, yeah".

Haley was unsure how to answer. Sure, she was mad at Nathan but if she was honest with herself, he was the only one she wanted. She was about to tell Damien that she was sorry but she wasn't interested when she heard a voice behind Damien say "Haley?".

Damien turned around, allowing Haley to look at the person that stood behind her. Sure enough it was Nathan standing at the bottom of the porch steps, a basketball at his feet. He was wearing tan cargo shorts and a blue sweatshirt.To complete the picture, he was carrying a bouquet of flowers.

Nathan ran up the porch steps and stood next to Damien.

"What's up, man?", Damien said to Nathan.

Nathan was about to say something rude when Haley interrupted.

"So, Damien, about tomorrow night, pick me up at eight?".

Damien blinked, as if shocked. Then he grinned and said "sure, see you then" He was about to leave, then he turned back toward her and said "whoops, nearly forgot your pizza".

"Thanks", she said, taking the pizza box he handed her. "How much do I owe you?".

"This one's on me." And with that, Damien winked and left.

Through out this whole time, Nathan was listening to the conversation that was going on between Haley and Damien with a confused look. It was a good thing that Damien left because when Damien had winked at Haley, Nathan looked like he was about to bludgeon him. After Damien had left, he turned toward Haley and asked "so, you're going out with him?".

"Yes", she said stiffly. Nathan winced

Haley turned and made her way to her front door.

"Haley, wait, just hear me out", Nathan said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

She turned around and said "ok" coldly.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know I was a jerk. I didn't mean to hurt you. I got you flowers to make up for what I did", he said, gesturing pathetically at the flowers in his arms.

"You think a bunch of stupid flowers are going to make me forgive you?", she said, softly, not looking at the flowers.

"Well, yeah. Don't you remember these flowers?", he brought up the flowers so she would look at them.

Haley stared at the little purple flowers and remembered.

Flashback

"Oh my God, Nathan! Look!", Haley pointed at the flower in the ground."Last flower we're going to see before winter. It's so pretty".

Nathan groaned. It wasn't unusual for a seven year old boy to have no interests in flowers.

Haley ignored him and picked up the beautiful purple flower.

"Haley! Let's go before it starts to rain", Nathan said, looking up at the gloomy sky.

The two of them held hands and ran home, trying to avoid getting wet in the rain. Luck was on their side for it only started pouring when they were in the safety and comfort of Haley's house.

"Oh no! The flower fell", Haley said, holding up a green stalk.

Nathan put his arm around her as she looked at the stalk sadly.

The next day.

"Nathan! Where are you?", Haley shouted.

She was in the woods, heading for their tree. Nathan had told her to meet her there which suprised her for they always went there together.

When she reached their tree, she gasped in shock. At the bottom of the tree, someone had placed there a dozen little purple flowers.

She stared for a moment before slowly walking over to the tree and picking it up. She noticed a note buried in between the flowers. The note read in childish handwriting _To Bugs...With love, Naty_.

Just then, Nathan walked out from behind the tree where he was hiding from here.

He came up behind her and said softly "do you like it?".

"Like it? I love it! Thanks so much Naty", she said, throwing her arms around him.

"Just don't say I never gave you anything".

End of Flashback

Haley looked at the flowers in his arms.

"Haley, I'm sorry okay? I promise that I will never hurt you again", he said. "Here, take it, I bought it for you", he shoved the flowers gently into her free arm while her other arm held the pizza box.

Nathan grinned and his cockiness irritated her, reminding her of what happened only a few hours ago.

"Nathan, you can't just buy me stuff and expect it to go away!", she said, angrily.

He blinked. Before he could say anything, she turned and ran inside her house and slammed the door shut.

He stared at her front door. He could have kicked himself. He hated himself for what he had done earlier. He didn't even know why he did it, maybe he was scared of being vulnerable with her again. The last time she left, a part of him left too. He wasn't prepared to feel that way again.

The front door opened. He looked at it hopefully. Her head stuck out. Then she threw the flowers at him and slammed the door.


	12. Into The Darkness

"Ninety nine...One hundred!", Whitey shouted as the team finished their push-ups.

Nathan jumped up and walked over to the stands. He grabbed his bottle and chugged down his protein drink. The rest of the team came up to him.

"Yo, dude! What's with the slow go today?", Tim said, crouching down then jumping up.

"Just say I did badly, Tim", Nathan said."What the hell are you doing?".

"What? This?", he crouched again and jumped up."Theresa said she will only date me if I shoot up to eight feet. This is supposed to make me taller".

The rest of the team burst out laughing. Dave, Theresa's cousin smacked Tim on the head just as he was jumping up again. Tim's head whacked Dave's chin and they both fell.

"Nate? You okay?", Lucas asked as Dave chased Tim around the court.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine", Nathan said as Whitey walked up to them.

"Okay, girls!Practise is over! And Dave, try not to damage to many of his brain cells. His lacking many as it is", Whitey said. Dave stopped pounding on Tim's head and stood up to walk out with the rest of the team. Tim whimpered then got up as well.

"Nathan! I need to talk to you", Nathan turned away from the gym doors and jogged over to his coach.

"What's up,coach?" Nathan said, standing in front of Whitey.

"Nathan, I know it's not basketball season but what you did today in court was not worthy of a player", Whitey half-shouted. "Especially a captain. Now, is there a reason for your lack of interest in playing suddenly?".

"No, no, coach. I love basketball. I'm just going through a hard time with something. I promise you that next practise O will give my best".

"You better", Whitey looked Nathan up and down before saying "hard time with something? Your old man giving you a hard time?".

"No more than usual".

"Okay then", he grabbed some papers from the bench. He looked up."Still here? Scram kid!".

Nathan chuckled as he ran out of the court and into the hallways of hell or as most called it, school. He ran a hair through his hair, thinking about the thing that gave him a hard time concentrating in practise. Haley. On a date with Damien West. 

Eventhough he and Damien hung out with the same group most of the time, Nathan hated him. Damien West was the biggest player of all time. He thought he was the icing on cake. He was forever boasting about his conquests with women.

Nathan walked out of school and ran to his car. He wanted to see Haley to warn her about West. He had tried talking to her in school but it was as if she was avoiding him.

He reached her house ten minutes later. He got out of his car and walked up to her front door. He rang the bell. He waited a few minutes then rang again. It was then he noticed her car wasn't in the driveway.

------------

"You listen to Panic at the Disco?", Haley asked, looking at the poster on Peyton's wall.

"Yeah, I know it's kind of gothic but I like it", Peyton said, looking up from her sketch pad.

Haley, Brooke and Peyton were hanging out in Peyton's room. Brooke was on the floor painting her nails.

"What do you guys think of this colour?", Brooke said, holding up her foot.

Peyton glanced at it before saying "It's nice".

"Ugh! Now I have to take it off", Brooke said, jokingly.

Haley giggled then continued staring at Peyton's wall. Her wall was like a biography. It said so much of the person that Peyton was.

"Hey, Amazon girl. You're next", Brooke said, holding up a nail polish bottle.

"Okay. But not pink", Haley walked over to Brooke and sat down next to her.

Peyton's handphone rang.

"Yeah?", she said, answering it."Wait, wait,hold up. I can't hear you". Peyton walked out of the room for privacy.

"So, you excited about your big date tonight", Brooke said, painting a light gold onto Haley's big toe.

"I'm just doing this to get back at Nathan. I know it's mean but after all the stories you guys told me about Damien, I figured 'why not?", Haley said.

"Guys! Guess what? You know that new teen club opening near the mall", Peyton said, walking in. "Well, I went for a job interview with the owners a few days ago and you are now looking at the new manager of the new club Tric".

Two hours later

Haley walked to her front door and opened it. Standing on her porch was Damien.

"Hey. i'm ready. Shall we go?", Haley said, grabbing her purse and walking to him.

Damien looked at her with a shocked look on his face.

"Wow, you're even more beautiful then before", he said, checking her out.

He spoke the truth. Haley wore a summer off the shoulder dress, revealing her slim shoulders and perfect figure. Damien had told her, earlier in school that day that he was taking her to a really fancy restaurant so she decided that this dress was perfect.

She smiled at him before he put his arm around her waist and led her to his car. He opened the car door for her and waited until she sat down. Then he got in as well and drove off.

The two of them didn't notice a tall dark haired guy standing at the end of the road. Nathan had tried to talk to Haley again before her date but by the time he came, she was already leaving.

Nathan Scott turned away and walked into the night, where everything was cold and where he felt most alone.


	13. Time Stopped For Us, Then Changed You

**Hey, I just wanted to say thanks so much to the people who reviewed. I'm sorry it took me so long to update the last chapter. Would love if you could keep reviewing and commenting on the story. Thanx!**

Two hours later

"So, I had fun", Haley said, awkwardly.

They were sitting in Damien's car outside her house. They had just come back from a fancy dinner at La Pierre's, the most expensive restaurant in town. Although Haley's mind was on Nathan, she had to admit she did have fun. The dinner conversation was lively and fun and Haley found herself warming up to Damien.

Damien didn't reply. He just looked straight ahead like she wasn't there.

"So, um, see you at school tomorrow", she said, turning to get out of the car.

"Haley, wait", Damien said, putting a hand on her arm. "Listen, I know you must have heard some stories about me dating a lot of girls but..."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me", Haley interrupted.

"I know I don't but I want you to know the truth. I have never felt this way about anyone before", he looked down, suddenly shy.

Haley stared at him in shock.

"And I know we only just met but I was wondering...Will you be my girlfriend?" he said, finally looking up.

Haley gulped. This wasn't what she had planned. It was supposed to be a harmless date or for her revenge.

"Damien, I'm sorry but I can't", she said, softly." I don't think I'm ...uh...we're...you know, meant to be?" she continued lamely.

Damien's face turned hard. "Oh, okay then. Bye", he turned his head towards the road but not before she saw the hurt in his eyes.

Haley opened the car door. Just before she got out, she looked at him and said "I'm really sorry".

He drove off.

Haley sighed then turned and walked to her front door. Lying at the top of her porch steps was a guy with a bunch of purple flowers.

Haley looked down at him. And for a second, she forgot how mad she was at him. She only remembered what took place years ago.

Flashback

"Go away Nathan! I hate you!" Haley said, slamming the door in his face and locking it.

"Haley, I said I'm sorry!" he shouted through door." What more do you want?"

Haley didn't reply. Instead she stormed up the stairs to her bedroom.

An hour later, she was still moping around in her room.

"Haley", her mum called out to her as she passed Haley's room door. She stopped when Haley didn't reply and stared into the room. Haley was lying on her bed, her face covered by a pillow.

Haley's mum walked in and grabbed the pillow from Haley's face, only to be greeted by an angry look.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong", her mum said, sitting on the edge of her bed.

Haley let out an irritated sigh. That didn't discourage her mum so sat there patiently, waiting for Haley to talk.

After several moments Haley said loudly "It's that dumb boy!".

"Who? Nathan?" her mum said, playing dumb." I thought he was your best friend".

"He was until he ruined my sand castle...On purpose", the little six year old pouted.

"That doesn't sound like the Nathan Scott I know", her mum said.

"Okay, not on purpose. He fell on it", she said, looking down. "But it took me ages to build it and now it's gone and it's his fault!".

"If it was an accident, then you should forgive him. Do what you think is right. Okay, sweetie?" her mum left the room.

Haley put her tongue out to the corner of her mouth and thought.

After a moment, she went out of her room and ran down the stairs. She opened the door, with the intentions of going to his house. But she didn't have to because he was lying asleep on her porch.

Haley walked up to him. She looked down at him before bending down. She slowly lifted up his head and placed it on her lap. She sat there for a moment, daydreaming while stroking his hair.

"Haley?" he said, waking up but still half asleep.

"Hi", she said, softly.

He smiled at her before going back to sleep. They spent the rest of the evening like that, feeling like time itself has stopped for them.

End of Flashback

Haley looked down at him and smiled. Then she remembered what he had done to her and walked over him to her front door.

"Haley?" he said, waking up.

"Yes?" she said, turning around, looking down while rubbing her forehead.

He struggled to his feet.

"How... How was your date?" he asked, slowly.

She looked at him. His gorgeous sleepy face always made her melt and feel weak at the knees. His blue eyes always made her feel like he knew her, more than she knew herself and they also made her feel...like she was so much more than she could ever be.

"Bye Nathan", she said, softly before turning away and walking inside her house.


	14. Still The Same Guy I Love

**Hey, guys! Thanks for the comments. There's a reason I'm not putting a lot of depth and details. It's because the story is going to get pretty dramatic and right now I just want it to be easy and fun. But don't worry; in the later chapters that I'm writing now, the story becomes more meaningful and deeper. **

"So, Amazon girl, how was your date?" Brooke said, coming out of nowhere and standing next to Haley as she looked for something in her locker.

Haley sighed. She knew she was being stubborn and hard about the whole Nathan situation. She just didn't know what to do about it. Should she tell him she forgives him and that she's sorry too? Should she tell him how much she loved him? Tell him how many nights she spent crying over him?

"Oh, I know that sigh. That's the 'oh my God, he so cute. Pinch me, I'm dreaming' sigh", Brooke said, nodding understandingly.

Haley let out a force laugh. "Not even close".

"The 'he's a great kisser but I want more' sigh?".

"Nope", Haley said, softly. She found it amusing that Brooke automatically assumed that she kissed Damien. What Brooke didn't know was that the last guy and the only guy she ever kissed was the only guy she ever wanted to kiss and that was Nathan.

"The 'revenge was good but I'm so into him now' sigh?".

"No way".

"The 'I'm in love with someone else' sigh?"

Haley was saved by the school bell. She let out an 'I'm so relief that I don't have to answer that question' sigh. She ran off to her next class before Brooke interrogated her more.

"Okay, meet me...Hey! Where'd you go?" Brooke said, looking right and left for Haley and finally spotting her turning around a corner at the end of the hallway. "I'll get you Amazon Girl!"

Brooke spun on her heel only to come face to face with a creepy freshman wearing the school's band uniform.

"Ewwwww! Band geek staring!" she walked passed him and spotted Lucas down the hall.

"Hey", she said, running up to him. "Hi, I don't know if you know this but I'm Brooke Davis, captain of the cheer squad and you're really hot".

Lucas just stared at her.

-------

"So, who can tell me the answer for problem number..." the school bell interrupted Mrs. Travis, the math teacher.

Without waiting for the teacher to allow them to leave, the students stood up and walked out of class. Haley fussed with her school bag as she walked to her locker. When she reached it, she was greeted by a very annoyed Jake.

"Hey, Jake. What's up", she said, opening her locker.

Jake grunted. Haley laughed for the first time that day. 

"I'm sorry. You just look so irritated. What happened?" she asked.

"I have to spend the entire lunch period, the ENTIRE LUNCH period in the library to finish some stupid essay Mr. Hardy assigned us", Jake said, slamming his fist onto his palm for emphasis.

"You want some help with that?" she said, grabbing her wallet from her locker and slamming the door shut.

"Nah, its cool", he said, smiling at her. She smiled at how he managed to change his mood so fast." Say hi to Peyton for me", and with that he ran down the hall to the library.

_What's up with those two?_, she wondered. Whenever she mentioned Peyton's name to Jake or vice versa, they either blushed or let out a fake cough.

Haley walked down the hall to the cafeteria. She wobbled a bit on her new high heeled shoes. She regretted wearing them but Brooke bought them for her and she had promised to wear them at least once.

She pushed open the cafeteria doors and grimaced. Sitting in a table at the center of the cafeteria was the boy she always dreamed she would end up with. She always thought, even when she was in Africa that someday he would rescue her and they would end up getting married in the same church her parents got married in. _I wish I hated him, _she thought pathetically. _Things would be so much easier. _

She saw Brooke and Peyton sitting at a table at the far end corner of the cafeteria. She walked over to them. Brooke was talking excitedly to an uninterested Peyton.

"Oh, Haley! Good, you're here", Brooke said as Haley sat down. Peyton looked at her in relief. "Guess what? I asked Lucas out...and he said yes!" Brooke continued beaming.

"That's great! I um... I'm going to buy something to eat. See you in a bit", Haley got up as quickly as she sat down. Brooke didn't hear her. She was too busy talking loudly about her date tonight. Peyton grabbed Haley's arm and said 'don't leave me here with her".

Haley and Peyton glanced at Brooke who was having a conversation with herself.

"I'm sorry but it's every girl for herself", Haley pulled away from Peyton's grasp and walked off, trying hard not to laugh.

She made her way to the cafeteria line. Unfortunately, she had to pass Nathan's table on the way. She felt his eyes on her but she couldn't look at him. Not in the cafeteria, the place he had first rejected her. 

She waved to a few friends as she lined up at the cafeteria line to get some food. When she finished paying for her food, she walked over to Brooke and Peyton's table.

As she passed Nathan's table, she glanced over at him. Their eyes met. The sight of him made her knees wobble.

She was still looking at him as she slipped over some sauce that someone had spilled on the ground. She tried to keep her balance but she ended up falling on her butt. Her lunch tray flew up it the air and landed some feet away from her, spilling its contents on her.

The cafeteria was silent for a moment. Then everyone started laughing at her. She tried to get up but she ended up slipping and falling again. People started yelling out names like "Clumsy Ox" and "Butter fingers". She noticed Damien West at a table, mimicking the way she fell.

She looked around, trying hard not to cry. She had been in a few clumsy spots before but nothing could compare to the humiliation she felt at that moment. She willed herself to not look up at Nathan again. She didn't want him to see her, not like this. She prayed that the ground would open up and swallow her in.

Peyton and Brooke would save her. They were among the most popular kids in the school. She saw them running over to her but they were too far.

Haley tried getting up again but she slipped once more. Just as she was about to hit the floor, two strong arms grabbed her from behind and held on to her. She didn't have to turn around to know who the muscular arms belonged to.

He helped her to her feet while the cafeteria went silent again. As soon as she was stable, he made sure she didn't hurt herself when she had fallen. When he was sure she was okay, he grabbed her hand and they walked towards the cafeteria doors.

"Yo, Nate! What's with you and the chick?" some random senior said, as they passed his table.

The cafeteria was so silent that everyone heard the guy's question. Haley looked at Nathan and held her breathe. A time bomb was ticking over their heads. Haley could have sworn that even the lunch ladies were eager to hear what Nathan said next.

"This _chick_ is my best friend', Nathan said, calmly.

He squeezed her hand tightly and smiled down at her. Her heart almost melted. Then they walked out the doors together.


	15. Good Enough To Be With You

After the little scene in the cafeteria, Haley had changed clothes and washed herself up in the girl's bathroom. Then, Nathan had taken her to what he called his 'secret place'. In other words, the school roof.

"This place is incredible", Haley said, looking around. Instead of being barren and empty like most school roofs, the place was filled with beautiful plants and carpeted grass. There was even an amazing waterfall in the center of the roof. An arch was placed at the center of the roof, making it the focal point. Different types of flowers beds were placed everywhere. They were placed in order of colors, where the red roses could be seen with the red lilies and the blue anemones were placed with the Canterbury bells.

When they had first arrived at the roof, Nathan had walked purposely to the edge of the roof, where the color scheme of the flowers was purple. He had picked up a flower and had then walked over to Haley who was standing by the door, a puzzled expression on her face.

He had gently placed the flower behind her ear, making her close her eyes at his touch. She loved the way he made her feel. Her heart was beating so loudly that she was surprised he didn't hear it. She felt a blush rising up to her cheeks. She couldn't have spoken even if she tried.

She had slowly opened her eyes and saw him standing only a few inches from her. His blue eyes were filled with emotion. He gently placed his hand under her chin and lifted it up so her eyes could connect with his.

_She's everything to me. I have to show her how I feel, _he had thought as he brought his face closer to hers.

Just as they were about to kiss, a large bird decided to fly through the tiny space between them, making them jump apart. The atmosphere was broken, the moment ruined, and the kiss that would have been was lost.

"Haley? You okay?" Nathan asked as the bird disappeared from sight. His calm face cleverly concealed his frustration.

"Fine, thanks" she said, her heart returning to normal rate. "Shall we eat?"

---------------------------------

"I've got one tuna sandwich and one chicken sandwich. Which one do you want?" Nathan said, looking in his lunch bag.

"Dude, don't you know me anymore?" Haley teased.

Nathan smiled and handed her the tuna sandwich. She took it and bit into it happily.

They were sitting cross legged by the waterfall. Haley glanced over at Nathan as he took a bite of his sandwich. A bit of chicken landed on the corner of his mouth. She resisted an urge to wipe it off for him.

"Yeah and nobody except for the teachers even know about it. I found it by accident one day when I was waiting for a friend to give me a lift home. He was late so I wandered around school and eventually found this place", Nathan said, wiping off the chicken with the back of his hand. 

He suddenly smiled shyly. "This is the first time I brought anyone up here".

Haley blushed. She had never felt so calm and at peace in her entire life. The sun had disappeared behind some clouds making it not too bright but at the same time not too dark. There was a light wind blowing, cooling the air but Haley didn't feel cold. The warmth she felt being with Nathan managed to erase that feeling in her.

"Haley, about the other day...I wanna explain", Nathan said, seriously.

"You don't have to. It's..." she said before he cut her off.

"I want to".

He was silent for a minute before saying "When you left all those years ago, as cheesy as it sounds, a part of me did too. I mean, before it was always just me and you. Like your mum would ask my mum 'where's Haley?' and my mum would always respond 'with Nathan".

They stared at each other for a moment before he continued "the first day back to school was pretty hard. I felt like a different person without you. I became a different person. I started hanging out with the 'popular kids' and I guess pretty soon I was one of them. People expected me to be cool and act like a jerk so that's what I did"

"But now I'm asking you 'are you staying here?'. Because if you are, then I'm not going to be that person anymore", he looked down.

She scooted closer to him and whispered "what kind of person are you going to be?"

Nathan looked up and met her eyes before saying softly "I'm going to be a person that's good enough to be seen you".


	16. Not Scared Anymore

Two weeks later

"Nathan! Where are we going?", Haley said, temporarily blinded.

"I told you, it's a surprise. Don't you dare take that blindfold off!", Nathan said, driving past a red light. He glanced at his watch. He knew he was going too fast but if he didn't get there in exactly six minutes, they'd be late.

The two of them had spent nearly every waking moment together for the past two weeks. They had talked about everything and nothing at the same time. They had told each other stuff that nobody else in the world knew. Nathan had even told her about Lucas.

Nathan had never knew he had a half-brother until he was 13. That was when Lucas's mum had died and Lucas had to move from Alabama to move in with his two only living relatives, his dad, Dan and his half-brother, Nathan.

Nathan and Lucas had hit it off well when they first met, must to the annoyance of their father. He had tried everyway he could to make them resent each other. When he failed, he made Lucas's life as horrible as he could. Deb soon managed to get Dan off Lucas's back. And for the past few years, Dan and Lucas never acknowledged each other's presence for they hated each other.

A few months ago, Lucas with the blessing of Deb moved out. Deb was sad to see him leave for she loved him like a surrogate son but at the same time was relieved for the tension mounting between him and her husband was unbearable.

Every once in awhile, when Dan was away on a business trip, Lucas would spend the night with Deb and Nathan and they would be a family again. 

Although Nathan told her this and much more, he never told her how he felt about her. He didn't want to lose her. So, they settled for friendship ...for the time being at least.

"We're here", he said, stopping the car and parking it.

Haley pulled at her blindfold. Nathan laughed at her impatience.

"Not yet, Bugs", he got out of the car and helped her out. Then he held her hand and they walked to the spot he had chosen.

"Okay. You can take it out now", Nathan said when they reached the place.

She fumbled with the blind fold but ended up making it tighter.

"Ow! Ow, my eyes!", she yelled.

He walked behind her and untied the blindfold. When it fell from her eyes, she gasped.

They were at the docks, not far from the River Court. Under a tall tree, there was a picnic mat. On top of it was a picnic basket and a candle stand holding up three lit candles. There were dozens of purple flowers scattering the mat.

"Oh, Nathan", she said, softly.

"Come on. Sunset starts in two minutes", he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the picnic mat. They sat down, him leaning against the tree and she leaning against him.

The two of them sat in comfortable silence, waiting for the sun to set.

Haley struggled to come up with a word to describe this but all she could come up with was romantic, which was impossible. The past two weeks she had been with Nathan, he had been nothing but friendly to her. She was devastated with the thought that maybe they were just meant to be friends but she told herself that no matter how hard that seemed, she had to deal with it.

All thoughts went out of her mind as his strong arms went around her like it was the most natural thing in the world. His big hands enclosed her small ones. She turned to look at him and was met by his blue eyes. She nearly melted.

"It's starting", he said, huskily.

She turned away from him and watched the sunset. It was so beautiful and peaceful, watching the ripples in the river nearby, the sun's rays illuminating the beauty of nature.

"Haley", he whispered against her ear. She turned to face him  
They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before his lips brushed against hers softly.

They broke apart. Then, his right hand went around the nape of her neck and he kissed her fully on the mouth, trying to show her how much he loved her. It was a perfect kiss except for one small detail. She wasn't responding.

"Haley?", he said, breaking away from her.

He was met by a stricken expression on her face.

His mind was racing. He was so sure that she felt the same way he did but now...His heart sank.

"I'm sorry...I didn't meant to", Nathan said, moving away, putting as much distance as possible between them.

Haley tried to talk. She tried to tell him that no matter how much she loved him, she could never be with him. She had never been so happy but at the same time never so devastated.

Before she could tell him the truth, she heard a voice shouting her name.

"Haley!", a guy said, running towards them.

"Lucas?", Haley said, squinting at the guy.

Lucas ran up to them, panting, obviously out of breathe.

"Haley..Deb got...phone call", Lucas said, still gasping from lack of air, putting his hands on his knees. "Something happened...Something bad".

"What is it?", Haley said, a lump forming in her throat.

Lucas stood straight and said clearly this time "It's your Uncle Keith".


	17. The Color Of His Eyes

**Hey, firstly I just wanna apologize for the wait. I actually wanted more reviews before I continued. **

**I also wanna apologize for not asking you guys earlier so I'm going to ask you now "are there any characters you want me to add into this story?" I got a request for skills but I want to know if you want a skills/haley friendship skills/lucas friendship etc… I promise you that I am going to add skills into my story but it might take awhile because I want it to be relevant.**

**Also, I was hoping that some of you might read and review my other story "Always and Forever, rite?" another naley story. Oh, and thank you so much for everyone who read and review this story. Hope you enjoy it!**

Haley James looked out of the window. All she saw was the deep blue ocean. The color of his eyes. She looked away, unable to think of him at that moment. She stared at a family of four, sitting across the aisle from her.

"When are we going to land, mum?" the little boy asked.

"Soon, honey", his mum said, looking at her son sitting beside her.

"I'm scared, mum".

Haley felt the tears in her eyes. She looked out the window again. _I'm scared, mum_. She couldn't remember the last time she said those words. She leaned her forehead against the window of the plane and closed her eyes. The tears came as she recalled the past few hours.

Four hours ago

Lucas, Nathan and Haley walked in silence to Nathan's house. Lucas had been unable to tell Haley what had happened because he didn't know himself. When they reached Nathan's house, Deb was there, pacing the driveway. Haley got a serious case of deja vu.

"Oh, Haley", Deb said, running to Haley when she saw her.

"What happened?" Haley, asked softly as Deb hugged her.

"Let's sit down", Deb led Haley inside the house. Nathan and Lucas followed silently.

"Your Uncle Keith called me a few weeks ago", Deb said when they all were seated in the living room. "And he told me if there was an emergency, his team would call me and not you. He felt you were too young to be held that kind of responsibility".

Haley nodded mutely.

"Your Uncle Keith is...missing".

The words hit her like a bullet. Missing? In the Amazon? Her Uncle Keith? She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry. She looked at Nathan who was sitting beside her, holding her hand. She looked deep into his eyes and she knew she could never be with him. She couldn't hurt him that way.

She wanted to die.

"I booked a flight for you that leaves in two hours so I'll help you pack", Deb said, putting a hand on Haley's shoulder to comfort her.

Deb stood up and put out her hand to help Haley up. Haley grabbed it and stood up. She felt Nathan's hand slip off hers. And she knew she would never feel his touch again.

Haley walked out of the airport and was hit by a wave of steamy air. She smiled, despite herself. She had always loved living in South America, even if her heart was left behind.

"Haley bear!", Haley turned around.

"Nagume!", Haley ran up to him and hugged him. "It's been so long".

Nagume smiled and grabbed Haley's bag from her. They walked to a rusty pickup truck nearby in silence. Talking would have been in vain for it was so noisy, they wouldn't have heard each other.

"Nagume. Do you know what happened?", Haley said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye as they sat in his truck.

He kept quiet for awhile and his silence allowed her to look at him more carefully while he busied himself with driving.

_He looks tired,_ she thought. _There are bags under his eyes that were never there before and he's driving so slowly which isn't like him_. She felt a pang of sadness for her friend, who had probably moved heaven and earth trying to find her uncle.

She had met Nagume when she had moved into her Uncle Keith's hut. He had lived near there with his father. One day after she was walking home from 'school' as she had called it, he had come up to her and said "I wanna learn".

So, she, the eleven year old had taught the handsome African eighteen year old everything she knew. And he taught her everything he knew too about the trees and the animals in the forest.

He suddenly spoke, waking her from her thoughts.

"He went missing. A few days ago. He and his team were on a project and they went into the forest. Few hours later, they came back without him", Nagume took a deep breathe and continued "we've been looking day and night. No sign of him".

They were silent for a minute before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry Haley bear".

"I can't go back until we find him".

"And if we don't find him?", Nagume said, gently.

"I can't go back".


	18. Hey, Stranger

Two weeks later

"Hello".

"Hey...It's me".

Haley had moved into a village near the Amazon forest. She didn't want to be anywhere that reminded her of her Uncle Keith for she knew she would just burst into tears so the village was the best option. It was actually pretty modern. It had hot running water and big grocery stores that seem to sell everything. And the best part, or for Haley at least... It had telephone lines.

"Hi. I'm glad you called".

"How are you?"?

"Not good".

Haley had lost hope. Her life had become a routine. Everyday at 5am, she would wake up and get dressed. Then she would wait to be picked up by Nagume. They would have coffee while driving to the small village she used to live in with Keith. They would meet his team of scientists. The same team that he had been working with for the past twelve years and also a couple of villagers whom he had befriended in the past. They would form groups of five and they would look for him all over the forest until it got late. They would head back only to start fresh the next day.

"Haley...It's gonna be okay. They are going to find him".

"You don't know that, Naty", she replied in a small voice, twisting the telephone cord around her finger.

She was glad that they somehow found a way to get past the awkwardness of the whole 'kiss' situation. He was her hero, her savior, her knight in a shining basketball jersey. Every night he would call to ask her the latest news and to ask her if she was okay. She hoped that when she got back...if she got back, that they would somehow be 'okay' again. But somehow she knew that if she ever went back, nothing would be the same again.

And somehow she was right.

"Haley, if anything happens, you should know that... I will always be here".

When she kept quiet, he said in that soft voice that made her tremble "Always and forever. Remember?".

"Yeah. Of course I do...Hey, Naty?".

"Yeah?".

_I wanna tell him. I'm tired of analyzing every stupid detail. I'm sick of thinking about the future. I want to live in the moment for once in my life._

"I wish you were here. I-I love you", she said.

A moment later, she heard an engaged dial tone.

_Oh God! What did I do? Did he hear what I said?_

She stared at the phone in horror. The blood rushed into her head causing her to black out for a moment. She sat still for ten minutes, trying to think clearly.

She finally stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom where she washed her face calmly. Then she looked into the mirror and stared at her trembling reflection and asked herself "did he just hang up on me?"


	19. Your Sin, My Pain

**Hey guys thanks so much for the reviews! Anyway, I'm sorry I write such short chapters. I just like to end it with a cliffhanger sometimes. Anyway, there's no oth this week?! Oh, man! What am I going to do for entertainment? Haha, anyway, enjoy!**

"So, heard from Amazon Girl yet?" Brooke asked as she and Peyton made their way to the school's front doors.

"Not since she called us two days ago", Peyton said, pushing open the front doors. "Why?"

They stepped outside and blinked at the intensity of the sun's light. They both let out a sigh of relief at being out of the drudgy school, if only for a short time.

"Nothing. I just miss her that's all", Brooke muttered, walking to their usual table and sitting down.

"Hah!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means hah! You didn't even like her at first", Peyton said, sitting down across from her and taking out her sketchbook.

"Well, she's rubbing off on me. Anyway, I didn't like you at first either", Brooke said, sweetly.

Peyton stuck out her tongue at her as she opened her sketchbook.

"Hey, guys", a familiar voice said behind Peyton. Brooke looked over Peyton's shoulder and smiled evilly.

"Hey, _Jake_", Brooke said, giving Peyton a pointed look. Peyton hastily stuck her tongue back inside her mouth.

"So, um what's up?", Jake said, awkwardly, standing next to their table.

"Nothing at all", Brooke said in an English accent. "Oh and do sit down and join us dear boy. We haven't seen you in absolutely ages", Brooke said, patting the seat next to her.

Peyton grinned. Jake looked confused for a moment before sitting down next to Brooke.

"Well, I'm off then. Have fun kids. Good day to the both of you", and with that, Brooke picked up her bag and ran away.

Peyton and Jake watched her as she jumped up on an unsuspecting Lucas, forcing him to give her a ride to class. Peyton and Jake cracked up laughing, evaporating the initial awkwardness between them.

"So, still drawing?", Jake asked when the laughter had died down.

"Trying to", Peyton said, nervously.

"Can I see?", Jake asked, expectantly.

"Um...It's kinda private", Peyton said, feeling bad when his face fell. "I'm sorry".

"It's cool. I just...Well, you never used to be private with me", he said, looking down at the table.

"Yeah, but that was before..." Peyton broke off, not wanting to open the window to the past.

An uncomfortable silence fell on them. They both struggled to say something but they couldn't think of anything to say.

"So, heard from Haley, lately?", Jake askd finally.

"Yeah. A couple days ago. She told me she wasn't sure when she was coming back. They haven't found her uncle", Peyton explained.

"Nathan looks really lost without her", Jake said, looking past her shoulder.

"Yeah. They're really close", Peyton said, turning around to look at Nathan.

Nathan sat at a table with his basketball team. All of them were talking loudly and joking around but he didn't hear any of them. He was staring at his soda can in his hand, imagining it was a phone.

Flashback

"Yeah. I remember. Hey, Naty?", she asked.

He tightened his grip on the phone. She sounded so wistful, it almost made him nervous. 

"Yeah?", he said. _To hell with it. She has to know how I feel._ "No, wait, Hales. Me first. I love you", he said, quickly. "I-I've always loved you".

He waited in anticipation for her reply. But it never came. All he heard was an enganged dial tone.

He stared at it in shock. Then, he slammed the phone down. He buried his head in his hands. He didn't want to feel, he didn't want to think especially about her but he had to ask himself aloud "did she hang up on me?".

End of Flashback

Nathan never called her back. Her message was clear- she didn't want anything to do with him. But it still hurt him. And sitting there during lunch with his friends did nothing to take away his pain. Nothing would.

------------

Dan sat down by the window in his office. He liked watching the sky. It helped him think.

He suddenly got up, disturbing the stillness of the office. He walked over to his desk and pulled out a bottle of scotch from the bottom drawer. He poured the scotch into a glass and held it in his right hand. He had been saving the scotch for a special occasion, a day that he could congatulate himself upon a victory. He smiled. He had just won again.

Flashback

"I can't find it, Deb", he yelled at her from the living room.

"It's on the table", she shouted back from the kitchen.

Dan grumbled to himself as he made his way to the table. The fact that that stupid woman took his briefcase and put it wherever she pleased annoyed him to the point of anger.

He grabbed his briefcase roughly which made him knock the telephone down on the floor. He cursed her under his breathe as he bent down to pick it up.

"Always and forever. Remember?", he heard his son saying in the phone.

Dan lifted up the phone and placed by his ear. He closed the mouthpiece so he wouldn't be heard.

"Yeah. I remember. Hey, Naty?", her voice came as a shock to him.

That girl. She would ruin everything for his son, for him. The hours he and his son spent planning out his future would all be for nothing if she came back into his life.

"Yeah?", he heard his son say. God, he sounded like a love sick teenager. So, Dan did what he thought would be the best thing for his son. He placed his finger on the reject call button and pressed it.

End of Flashback

Dan lifted up his scotch and was about to drink it when he saw a picture of him and his son on the desk. He toasted his drink to the picture then drank it all in one gulp. He swallowed loudly before he smiled at the picture. Nothing was to stand in the way of his son's dream, his dream. And he just got rid of the only person who could do that.

"Mission accomplished, son".


	20. Losing Hope, Losing Love, Losing You

**Hey, this chapters reviews were my absolute favorites! Thank you all so much! I know Dan is an evil monster but we should all love him for because oh him, we have Nathan!! anywayz, enjoy!**

She had lost hope. Hope of finding her uncle Keith. Hope of ever seeing Nathan again, even though it was useless as he obviously didn't feel even a fraction of what he felt for her.

And love. The love that she felt for Keith and the love that he had given her. And at the same time, she had lost the love of her life.

_You'll fly away_  
_But take my hand until that day_  
_And when they ask how far love goes_  
_When my job's done_  
_You'll be the one who knows_

She sang as she walked into the jungle. She knew nobody could hear her. The noise around them, from the bull frogs in the water to the birds in the trees silenced anything she said.

It was dangerous to walk alone. She knew that. But she convinced Nagume, who was supposed to be looking out for her then she wouldn't wander off far. And she had kept her promise. She could see them about 200 metres away, shouting Keith's name for about the hundrenth time that day alone. 

_It's hopeless_, she wanted to scream. _He isn't coming back_, she cried hopelessly in her heart. _I'm not going back_.

And suddenly it all got too much for her.

_Haley_, the trees seemed to close up on her. _Haley_, everything just got louder and louder until the noise was screaming in her head.

"Stop it", she pleaded, clutching her head with hands. "Stop it. Please". She fell on her knees. "Save me. It hurts. Save me Nathan".

The pain was still there. It wouldn't go away. Not as long as she stayed here. So, she got up and ran.

She ran and ran, deeper into the forest, away from the pain. She ran until she couldn't run anymore. She ran until she thought she would die. She wanted to die. She didn't want to live with this pain anymore.

She tripped over a loose rock on the floor and fell on the ground. She hit her head hard as she fell and the pain in her head as well as her heart only intensified.

She laid there on the ground for a moment. She wanted to stay there forever. To die then and there. But something made her look up and that's when she saw _him._

_Well you showed me__  
__How it feels__  
__To feel the sky__  
__Within my reach__  
__And I always__  
__Will remember all__  
__The strength you__  
__Gave to me_

She stood up slowly, most of the pain instantly dissapeared. She tried to speak but she couldn't. All she could do was stare at her Uncle Keith.

She had spent weeks dreaming of finding him. But in none of her dreams, even the ones with happy endings, did she ever think she would find him standing upright, with only a cast around his left arm.

And oh glorious God, he was _smiling_.


	21. Home Is Where I Found You

**Hey, I am so sorry that my chapters are so short. This one is no longer than the earlier one! Anyway, it's impossible for keith to come back and fall in love with Karen because she died in this story. Plus, Nathan and lucas are related. But I promise you I will make a laley relationship along the way. And I will be adding skills along the way. If there is any characters or ideas you might want to add, please let me know! Anyways, enjoy!**

Haley opened the door quietly and stepped into the room. She tiptoed to the chair by the bed, trying to see if the person in the bed was really sleeping or just pretending to.

"Uncle Keith", she whispered as she sat down in the armchair.

Uncle Keith opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hi, sweetie. Sorry, I always pretend to sleep when the nurse comes around", Keith said, sitting up in bed.

"When are you coming home, anyway?", Haley asked, looking around the hospital room. It wasn't an ugly room. It was just depressing as most hospital rooms are with pale blue wall paper and the smell of medicine in the air.

"In about a couple of days. But it's not your home anymore, is it?", Keith said, giving her a firm look.

Haley sighed. This wasn't the first time in the past week that they have had this conversation.

She remembered how shock she was to find him after weeks of looking. She remembered fainting in the jungle soon after she had found him only to wake up in a hospital bed with Keith lying in the bed next to her.

She recalled his story. He had been following a very rare looking bird deep into the jungle. He had climbed up a tree to get a better look at the bird and had fallen off. He broke his arm when he had hit the ground. He lay there unconsious for hours before an unknown tribe living in the center of the jungle had found him and took him back to their village. There they had nursed him back to health. When he was better, he left the village and was on his way home when he found Haley.

"Uncle Keith, I don't belong there", Haley said, softly, looking down.

His laugh surprised her. "Honey, you belong there more than you belong here".

Haley didn't say anything. The silence between the two of them deepened as they both thought about their lost loves.

"You love him", Keith said, quietly.

"But, Uncle Keith, wouldn't it be better if I leave him in peace? He doesn't love me back", Haley said, the tears falling down her face.

"I'm talking from experience. Don't run away from your emotions. They'll come back and haunt you for the rest of your life if you do", Keith said.

Haley knew from her childhood memories that her Uncle Keith had lost the love of his life long before she was born. Before her parents died, she often heard them talking about Keith and how he should move on with his life.

But Haley knew that he never did and most likely never would. She never bothered asking him about the story because he was a very private man.

"I don't want to be hurt again", she said, remembering the nights she had cried for Nathan, so many years ago.

"Then choose, Haley. Is your future here in South America or in Tree Hill with him?".

Haley looked at her uncle and wondered if she would ever truly be home again.

-----------------------

**Haha, anyone wanna guess if Haley comes back or not?**


	22. A Memory Of You

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I was actually going to update a few days later but thanks to the reviews I decided to update A.S.A.P. Anywayz, enjoy!**

Nathan needed to get away from it all. His father had been pushing him too hard ever since his mother had left to go for yet another business trip.

It was Saturday. No basketball practice, no school, and fortunately no Dan. His father had to go on a day trip to Charleston for business. Something about purchasing a second Dan Scott Motors. 

Nathan stood on the River Court, a basketball in his hands. He aimed for the net and took a shot. The ball hit a tree about fifteen feet from the net.

"Damn it", Nathan growled. Ever since _she_ had left, everything seemed bleak. Suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. He needed air, he needed a break, he needed _Haley_. 

He ran away. He didn't know what possesed him to do so. He just knew that he couldn't just stand there while everything was falling apart.

He passed houses, stores, his school but he didn't stop. Finally after what seemed like miles, he stopped running out of sheer exhaustion.

He put his hands on his knees and gasped for air. He breathed deeply, trying to ignore the stitch in his side. When he finally looked up to see his surroundings, he was surprised at where his subconscious mind had taken him.

He was standing in the park. The last tme he had been here, it had been with Haley. So many years ago, yet it seemed like yesterday. The day that Haley's parents had died and the day that their world together had turned upside down.

Flashback

"Can too", Nathan said, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Can not!", Haley said, looking up at Nathan.

Even at nine, Nathan was taller than her. But she had always been considered small. She was often picked on at school because of her small height and petite frame but Nathan was always there to protect her. He would often get into fights with other kids who made fun of his Haley. 

"Bugs, I can go down the slide on my feet. I'll show you!", Nathan said, making his way to the slide.

"No, don't Naty. You'll get hurt", Haley said, grabbing his arm.

"No, I won't. You'll see".

Nathan gently pulled his arm away from her hand. He slowly climbed up the stairs. When he got to the top, he looked down at Haley and saluted her. Then he stood at the top of the slide on his feet and slid down.

Halfway down, his feet got caught on a crack on the slide and he tripped. His head whacked against edge of the slide and he fell on the ground, unconcious.

"Nathan! Nathan", Haley screamed, running towards him. She sobbed as she cradled his head in her lap. "Please be okay, Naty. I need you. Be okay. You said always and...".

"Forever", she cried out in relief when she heard his muffled voice.

"Nathan! Are you okay?", she said, crying in relief. For one horrifying moment, she thought her Naty was gone.

"Yeah", he said, weakly, sitting upright. "Told you I could do it".

She hugged him then, never wanting to let go. But when they went home later that day, Deb told her that her parents were dead. And she knew, even at that young age, that she had to let go of him and that always and forever might have been a fairy tale.

End of Flashback

Nathan stood at the edge of the park. He closed his eyes shut, wanting to block out the image of what might have been. Then the rain came and for one moment, he was lost in the storm and in his memories.


	23. Sorry It Took So Long

Haley slipped the key in the lock and slowly turned it. She opened the door and walked in. She took a deep breathe and smiled at her surroundings.

_Home Sweet Home_

She lifted up her duffel bag and carried it upstairs to her bedroom. As soon as she reached her room, she opened a window as the room had become hot and stuffy. She looked around her room, her sanctuary in pleasure thinking once again how nice it was to come home. Her room looked so comfortable, so cozy and every where she looked she was reminded of a different memory.

_Okay, now we tie this end to the bedpost and this end to the window and we have a tent!_.

_Wow, Naty. Where did you learn to do that?_.

_Boy scouts, _he had said proudly. _Now, let's sit inside.__  
_

As soon as they were comfortable, in their 'tent', Nathan said in a scary voice _It was a dark and stormy night..._

_Nathan...You know I hate scary stories._

_Don't worry, Hales. I'm here to protect you. Where was I? Oh yeah, and a ghost was in the house but the little girl didn't know, then he came up behind her and slowly..._.

It was at that precise moment that the 'tent' fell on them. Haley still remembered how scared she felt, when the blankets fell on her.

_Haley, are you okay? I'm here, Hales_, out of nowhere Nathan appeared and took her hand. And even at that young age, Haley knew he would always protect her.

The present day Haley was so deep in her thoughts, she didn't notice that a strong wind was coming through the window. It was only when the wind knocked over a picture frame, did she come to her senses. She ran over to the window and quickly closed it. She then picked up the photo frame that had fallen over carefully so she wouldn't get her hand cut by the broken glass.

When she saw the picture, her throat immediantly got clogged up with emotion. It was a picture of her by the sand box outside her house. It was taken many years ago and in the picture, she was smiling proudly at her nearly finished sand castle. She remembered how proud she was that she actually managed to build something beautiful all by herself. And she also remembered how mad she was at Nathan for knocking it over. But she finally forgave him, as she couldn't stand not talking to him for more than a couple of hours.

Haley had a sudden urge to go outside. She had always been very claustrophobic and she felt the walls closing in on her.

She ran downstairs and out through the back door. She took a deep breathe of air, her panic diminishing. The wind was howling and the clouds were becoming dark, signaling that it would soon rain. But it was either go back inside and feel oppresed or stay outside and take her chances with the rain. Haley decided to pick the lesser of two evils and stay outside.

Besides, she had always loved the rain. It held a lot of memories of Nathan for her. The first time they decided to try kissing when they were eight, the time where they got stuck in their favorite candy store and the first time Nathan had told her that he loved her. Of course, they were both six at that time but it still meant a lot to her.

As she looked around her backyard, breathing in the cool air something caught her eye. She looked at it, stunned yet overwhelmed at the same time.

There was a newly built sand castle in her sand box and it looked exactly like her old destroyed one. She slowly walked towards it, her mouth slightly opened in shock.

She bent down and ran her hand over the draw bridge, the towers still not able to comprehend the situation. It was then, she noticed the card, lying against the draw bridge.

_Sorry it took so long_.

There was no signature but it was obvious who had built it for her.

The rain started pouring but she didn't move. All she did was stare at the sand castle with tears in her eyes as the rain destroyed it. Finally, it was all mud and her beloved sand castle had ceased to exist. 


	24. Looking Into The Eyes Of The One I Loved

**Sorry, it took so long. **

"Nate!" a voice behind Nathan called out. Nathan yanked his iPod speakers from his ears and turned his head to look at the person who had called him. His eyes widened in surprise.

He had always been close to his brother, always respected and admired him but all the respect he had for Lucas vanished when he saw him.

"Oh, man! What happened?" Nathan said, trying really hard not to laugh.

Lucas looked down at the bright pink tutu he was wearing over his normal everyday attire - a pair of jeans and a shirt, and grimaced.

"It's Brooke. She is designing a clothing line for the shop she works in and she thinks male tutus are a good idea. And I, as her supporting boyfriend volunteered to help her out and...Dude! Will you stop laughing?!" Lucas said, annoyed at the lack of concern on his brother's part.

Nathan couldn't help it. He was laughing so hard, he had to cling onto his locker door for support.

"Yeah, okay. Very funny. You done yet?" Lucas said, as a couple of freshmen girls stopped walking to stare at him. They too burst out laughing at the tall blond serious looking boy dressed in a tutu. Nathan couldn't even answer Lucas's question. He was laughing so hard, he couldn't even breathe.

"You have failed as a brother and...Oh, no! Brooke's coming! I have to hide!", and with that Lucas ran into the nearest classroom.

"Hey, Nathan. Have you seen Lucas?" Brooke said, walking up to Nathan. Nathan wiped away the tears from his eyes that had come from laughing so hard.

"Nope. Haven't seen him. Not recently. I mean the last time was maybe two days ago but since then...Nope", Nathan lied unconvincingly.

"Okay", Brooke said slowly. She turned away and was going to walk to the own locker when Nathan called her name.

"Hey, Brooke. Have...have you heard from her?" Nathan said, all laughter gone from his face. Brooke nearly told him the truth when she saw how sad he looked.

"No, not for awhile. Sorry, Nate", she lied. 

Flashback

"Everything on except anchovies, okay Peyton?" Brooke shouted to Peyton as she made her way to the front door. She opened it and stared at the person in front of her in shock.

"Oh my God! Haley!" she squealed, grabbing Haley and giving her a hug.

Peyton appeared from nowhere and hugged Haley next, glad to see her friend again.

"Oh my God! You will never guess what happened while you were away!" Brooke said, as she pulled Haley into the living room where they spent the next hour catching up.

"So, wait... You actually got Gavin DeGraw to play in Tric?" Haley asked, taking a huge bite of pizza.

"Yeah and we actually are going to have local performances there too", Peyton said.

"That's cool. Maybe I'll play sometime", Haley said, carefully.

"You sing?" Brooke asked.

"In the shower, yeah. In public, no. But maybe I'll finally get over my stage fright", Haley said. "Anyway, have...err seen Nate recently?"

Peyton and Brooke exchanged looks.

"Um...yeah", Peyton said, not looking at Haley.

"How's he been?" Haley asked, trying not to show how much she cared.

"Let's just say he will be glad to see you", Brooke said, bluntly.

"Can you please not tell him I'm here?" Haley asked. Before the Brooke could argue, Haley said "I want to show him myself".

End Of Flashback

Nathan walked into English class late. His teacher, Mrs. Wright looked at him in annoyance but didn't say anything.

"Sorry, Mrs. Wright. Coach Durham wanted to see me before..." Nathan began.

"Just take your seat, Mr. Scott".

Nathan sat down at the back of the class, already bored with the lesson. English was never his favorite subject.

"Now, today we are going to be reading Romeo and Juliet. Now, has anyone seen the play?".

"I have", a familiar voice said, from the doorway.

Nathan stared at the girl, his heart pounding. She looked at him, and for a second their eyes connected. And for a second time that day, he had trouble breathing.

"Miss James. Good to have you back. Now, if you could kindly take your seat", Mrs. Wright said breaking the spell.

Haley tore her eyes away from his and walked slowly to her seat.

And just like that, she was back in his town, back in his school.

Back in his life.

**Hey, I really hope you would review because the more reviews, the faster the updates! so, plz review!**


	25. When You Run Out Of Hope, Make A Wish

"Okay, now who would like to play Romeo?" Mrs. Wright asked. She scanned the classroom for a possible student whose day she wished to ruin. She glanced at Nathan who had entered her class late. She loathed students who were tardy.

"Mr. Scott?" Nathan's head jerked up. He glanced around, hoping she was referring to another student but no, her eyes were on him.

He stood up and walked to the front of the class, aware that everyone including Haley was staring at him. He looked at her and for the second time that day their eyes connected. If they were alone in the classroom, he would have walked up to her and kissed her. But it was impossible with twenty other students and an old bitter teacher in the same room.

He knew that there was a possibility that the last time they spoke on the phone, the connection might have been broken. He also knew that there was a possibility that she hung up on him. But either way, she knew how he felt when he kissed her in the docks that day. It seemed so long ago and in a way it was. But it also seemed like just yesterday he held her as they watched the sunset together.

So, since she knew how he felt, the ball was in her court. Problem was, she wasn't serving.

"Now, Miss James. Since you have read the book, maybe you would like to play Juliet?" Mrs. Wright asked, breaking the spell for the second time that day. Nathan's heart leaped.

Haley glanced at her Romeo, so handsome in his navy polo shirt and tan cargo shorts and said "if you don't mind ma'am, I would rather sit this one out, seeing as I just got back".

She looked away as she said it so she didn't see the hurt flashing in his eyes.

-------------------

"Miss James. If you could kindly wait a few minutes after class, I would like to have a word with you", Mrs. Wright said as the bell rang signaling the end of double period English.

Haley nodded, not sure whether she should be happy or sad. She wanted to talk to Nathan, clear things out and thank him for the sandcastle. She wanted to ask him if he hung up on her. But at the same time, she wanted to stay away from him, because she wanted him to be happy and she would only bring him grief.

Haley waited until the class cleared out. Nathan walked past her without saying a thing and she cringed. She wanted him to know she was sorry if she ever hurt him and that she loved him more than life itself but she could never tell him that. He could never know the truth.

Haley walked up to the teacher's table where Mrs. Wright sat waiting for her.

"Miss James, first of all, I wanted to say welcome back. Your uncle is okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, he's...uh...He's great", Haley replied, nervously, wondering how she knew about her uncle.

"Mrs. Scott called the school to inform them that you would not be attending school for awhile", Mrs. Wright said, answering Haley's unspoken question.

"Oh, okay".

"Now, the reason I called you was to inform you that you lack extra activities. Your grades are really good but you need extra activities in order to get into a good college", Mrs. Wright said.

"What kind of activities?" she asked, biting her lip, imagining her playing a sport like netball and cringing. Or more specific people around her playing netball and her falling face first onto the floor.

"For you, I would suggest tutoring", Haley face lit up.

-----------------

_Room 3B. Room 3B. Oh, there it is!_, Haley walked to the door of the tutor room and pulled it open. She walked inside but stopped short and stared around in amazement.

The room was huge, with small tables and huge bookshelves everywhere. It was two storeys high and the size of the library. And it was packed with people. Tutors and their students sat in the small tables, some people were walking up and down talking loudly, some tutors were just sitting down in the huge armchairs which were placed all over the room reading.

Haley looked around, looking for the head of the tutor department, some guy named Skills Tanner. Haley had heard of him. He was probably the smartest guy in the whole school, he had a 4.0GPA and rumors had it, he had already been accepted at Yale.

"Haley! Haley", Haley turned around to see a friend of hers, Bevin Prince, walking towards her.

"Hey, Bevin. I'm supposed to meet some guy named Skills?" Haley said, hoping Bevin could help her.

"Skills Tanner. Yes. He's been expecting you", Bevin said in a low voice.

Bevin grabbed Haley's arm and led her to the back of the room.

"So, are you a tutor?" Haley asked, surprised. Haley wasn't very close to Bevin but she knew from Brooke that Bevin still didn't know which side was right and which side was left.

"No. But Skills is my boyfriend so I come here so we can make out... I mean hang out... Hang out", Bevin smiled as she walked to a door marked HEAD TUTOR.

Bevin placed a finger on her lips signaling to Haley that she should be quiet.

"We must not disturb him. He needs his concentration", Bevin said, softly, pushing open the door.

Haley expected the room to be cluttered with papers and a tall serious looking guy to be sitting at the desk scowling at them for they disturbed his privacy. Instead the room was dark and although Haley couldn't really see anything, she was sure that the only two pieces of furniture in the room was a couch and a small filing cabinet.

Bevin quietly walked to the couch were many blankets seemed to be placed there.

"Skills", she said, quietly.

Skills jumped up from the couch and Haley realized that the blankets on the couch were actually someone lying there.  
Skills threw his Game Boy on the floor and glared at Bevin.

"Damn baby, why'd you gotta do something like that? I was going to break my own record", the short dark good looking guy said, not noticing Haley in the room.

"Sorry. But Haley James is here", Bevin said, gesturing at Haley while switching on the ceiling light.

"Oh, yeah. So, you wanna be a tutor?" Skills said, picking up his Game Boy from the floor and walking to the filing cabinet

"Um, yeah", Haley said, still in shock. "I can show you my grades and...".

"Okay, dawg. Sign here", Skills said, grabbing a piece of paper from the cabinet and a pen from the floor and holding it up to Haley.

Haley signed the paper. Skills took it from her and stuffed it back into the cabinet. Then he walked over to a chart on the wall.

"So, we have no one new for you to tutor yet but the next guy who comes in, he's yours. Be here after school and we'll assign you a student", Skills said, walking back to the couch.

"That's it?" Haley asked.

"That's it, dawg", Skills said, flopping back on the couch and switching on his Game Boy.

-------------------

Haley smiled in relief when the lunch bell rang. She grabbed her bad and walked out of class. Once outside, she made her way to her locker.

"Hey, buddy. Meet in the cafeteria, okay?" Brooke said, as she passed Haley on her way to the cafeteria.

"Wait, Brooke", she shouted but Brooke was already out of earshot.

There was no way Haley was going to eat in the cafeteria. She knew that Nathan would be there and she didn't want to talk to him at least not yet. Besides, she wasn't really hungry and she wanted some peace and quiet to think. She knew exactly where she was going to find it.

Haley pushed the door open and walked onto the school roof. She smiled, instantly at peace. She glanced over at the purple flowers and winced. What was she thinking, coming here? How could she think she could find peace without him? The only time she ever felt safe was in his arms. The only place she wanted to be was with him. He was the only one she loved. She walked over to the waterfall and tossed a coin inside, making a wish.

Just then, the door flew open and someone walked onto the school roof. Haley looked at Nathan as he stared back at her. His blue eyes seemed to reveal nothing about how he was feeling. She wanted to run up to him and hug him and tell him how much she had missed him but something held her back. They stared at each other for what seemed to be a lifetime but still not long enough. Finally, he turned around and walked out.

Haley's heart sank as the door closed shut. She looked at the coin she had just tossed into the waterfall and remembered an old saying _be careful of what you wished for. It might just come true_


	26. All I Can Do Is Watch

**Hey, guys, thank you so much to everyone who replied. I'm really sorry but I have been really busy so I can only update once a week. Unless I get more reviews, then maybe I will try hard to update twice. So, if you want faster updates, just click that button on the left and submit a review. It only takes like 30 seconds anyway. **

**Also, I would really like it if you guys could check out my other stories and see what you think. Anywayz, enjoy!**

Haley stood there for a moment, not moving, barely breathing. The sound of the door shutting still echoed in her ears. The image of him turning away from her was still fresh in her mind.

'It's my fault, she thought to herself miserably. 'I just keep pushing him away. I don't deserve him'.

She closed her eyes and for a minute she just let the tears fall as she remembered times when things were so much easier.

How they used to spend Saturday afternoons just hanging out in 'their' tree. How they used to sneak out in the middle of the night and run to the park where they promised themselves that they were going to get married there. How they were only kids yet they gave their heart to each other.

"I love you", Haley said, quietly. "But you can never know".

-------------

"Haley James, where on Earth have you been?" a very angry Brooke asked her as she approached Haley.

"Um..." Haley said, unsure of what to say. She didn't want to tell her that she had been up on the school roof because she had promised Nathan that she wouldn't tell anybody about it. But she also promised Nathan when she was younger that they would get married but that was a different story.

Luckily Brooke wasn't interested in an answer.

"Haley, you have to help me", Brooke pleaded. Haley smiled amused. She had never seen anyone change moods so fast in her life but then again she had never met Brooke.

"Theresa broke her ankle so know she will be out for the entire season and Amelia is moving to Texas or some foreign country so..." Haley interrupted Brooke's babbling.

"Wait, did you just say that Texas is a foreign country?".

"Um, yeah. Why?" Brooke said, confused.

"Nothing. Go on".

"So, now I've got two spots to fill out and no one to fill them out so I was thinking that since you said that you are lacking in the activities department, you could join the cheerleading squad", Brooke said, in one breathe.

"Thanks Brooke but I just joined the tutoring centre and I really don't think have time..." Haley said before Brooke interrupted her.

"Come on, Haley. Why don't you do what you want for a change?" Brooke said, putting her hands in a begging position.

"Okay...No".

"Rephrasing. Why don't you do what I want for a change?"

The school bell rang just then to Haley's relief. While Brooke was looking around wondering where the hell that noise was coming from, Haley sprinted down the hallway running away from Brooke, as usual.

"Hey! Fine! But if you change your mind, practice starts at 4", Brooke shouted down the hallway when she noticed Haley running away from her.

--------------------

She finally decided to go. When she went to the tutor centre, Skills told her that they didn't get any new tutees so as she didn't want to go home to an empty house; she decided to try out cheerleading. How bad can it be?

"Haley! Your right arm goes up, not your left" Brooke shouted as she stood in front of Haley.

Haley stared at her right arm which was extended high up into the air.

"My right hand is up", Haley said.

Brooke looked confused for a moment before she looked at the right arm then her left. Then she turned around. A smile lit her face as she realized that her left was Haley's right.

"I mean your left arm goes up!" Brooke shouted.

Answer: Very bad.

Haley sighed. What on earth possessed her to try out cheerleading? She had to be the clumsiest person on the planet. She already fell 4 times, knocked down two other girls and tore a pom-pom in half. And the worst part was the cheerleaders had their practice the same time the basketball team had theirs.

"Hey, Nathan", a couple of the girls said, batting their eyelashes when Nathan came near the stands where they practiced to get his bottle of water.

"Hey", he said, uninterested. His eyes locked with Haley's for a moment before he ran back to the middle of the court. Nearly every cheerleader stared at him as he aimed for the shot but missed.

"Scott! Come here!" Whitey shouted from the door of the boys locker room. Nathan ran over to him preparing himself for a lecture.

"You wanna tell me the reason you're playing so badly today? Might I remind you that the season is starting soon?" Whitey shouted.

Nathan's eyes went to Haley again before he looked back at coach.

"No reason. Nothing important anyway".

"Let's hope so. Now, get back onto the court".

Nathan walked back to his teammates as they started suicides.

"Wow, that Nathan guy is really fine" a new red haired cheerleader said.

"Rachel, focus! We have to get this routine right!" Brooke shouted. "From the top".

Haley groaned as the music started again.

---------------

"Wow, you look awful" Jake said as he walked up to Haley the next day at school.

"Thanks" Haley mumbled under her breathe as she struggled to raise her arm to grab her book from the top shelf of her locker.

"No, seriously. You look like the Grim Reaper. No! Like that girl from the Ring", Jake said.

Haley walked off. Jake didn't get the message and followed her.

"No, like Drew Barrymore from Charlie's Angels", Jake said, walking next to her.

"Charlie's Angels? Dude, you watched that?" Haley asked, smiling.

Jake's ears went pink. "Uh... No! Of course...Of course not".

Haley smiled a little wider.

"Okay, fine. I watched in once like years ago. Once", Jake said, hastily.

"Hey, everyone!" Haley shouted. "Jake watc..."

"Fine, I'll stop teasing you. Deal?" Jake interrupted her.

"Deal".

--------------

Haley was organizing the folders in the tutor centre. The folders were filled with the name of every tutor and tutee in the school as they were in a mess right now. Since Haley didn't have a tutee, she volunteered to organize them.

Her back was facing the entrance door when she heard it open and close.

"Hey Skills. Who's Antwon Tan...?" Haley said, turning around.

Nathan stood at the entrance of the door.

"Uh...hi", Haley said, shocked.

Nathan didn't say anything. He just stared at her intently.

"Can I... Can I help you?" Haley said, struggling to find her voice.

Nathan's eyebrows rose uncaringly for a moment before he handed her a blue slip. Haley took it carefully. She frowned as she scanned every line of the paper.

Nathan cleared his throat, causing Haley to look up at him. "Well, it looks like you're going to be my tutor".

**Please review and I will try to update again this week. Thanks. Oh and if you like Naley fics, check out Saving Me, another one of my stories. **


	27. Why Do You Always Leave?

**Hey, I was really happy with the number of reviews I got so I decided to update fast this time. So, please review if you want faster updates. Thanks!**

"So, if you factorize it, it becomes (x-3) (x-7). Get it?" Haley said, scribbling on a piece of paper as she talked.

Nathan glanced at the paper for a moment. Then he frowned in concentration. After a moment, a small smile lit his face as he finally understood the solution.

Haley suddenly giggled. Nathan looked up at her puzzled.

"It's nothing" Haley said, still smiling.

Nathan's face fell. "Well, if my stupidity clearly amuses you, then maybe I should change my tutor".

"No, it's not that" Haley said quickly. "I was just remembering the time when your two front teeth fell and you didn't want to open your mouth for days because you were too embarrassed".

Nathan let out a chuckle as he realized what she was giggling about. "Yeah, and old psycho Mrs. Gretchen from next door ask me how my mom was and I gave her two thumbs up".

"And she thought you were pointing to heaven so she got worried and asked you to pack your bags as she wanted you to move in with her" Haley said, laughing.

"And I got scared and shouted your name. Actually I said Bugs, which is my nickname for you" Nathan said.

"And Mrs. Gretchen thought that there were bugs around so she ran home, hopping on one leg in case the bugs decided to crawl up her leg" Haley said, clutching her stomach as she laughed.

"Then I ran inside, scared that she was going to bring me back to her house" Nathan said laughing with Haley.

"And I ran to your house wondering why you had called me and you wouldn't let me in!" Haley said.

They smiled at each other warmly remembering their past together. Suddenly Haley's hand phone started ringing. And the moment was ruined.

"Damn it" Haley muttered under her breathe as she fumbled around her bag for her hand phone. "Hello?" she said, answering it.

"Haley! Where the hell are you?!" an annoyed Brooke yelled from the other side of the phone. "We started cheerleading practice 10 minutes ago".

"I'm so sorry, Brooke. I totally forgot" Haley said, slapping her hand to her forehead.

"I don't care about your excuses. Just get over here!" and with that Brooke hung up the phone.

Haley put the phone on the table and looked apologetically at Nathan. "I'm sorry... I have to go".

Nathan shrugged, hiding his disappointment. "It's okay. I'll see you later, then".

Haley grabbed her bag and stood up. "Yeah, later then. Bye" she said, softly before she walked away.

Nathan looked at her retreating back and wondered why she was always leaving.

"Smith! Pass the ball! Scott! Defense! What are you guys in?! Grade school?!" Whitey shouted from the sidelines.

Haley looked up from the book she was reading and grimaced when she saw the exhaustion of the boys on the basketball team. She put down her book and sighed, wondering why on earth Brooke insisted that the cheerleaders attend every basketball practice.

"Okay, ladies! Practice is over!" Whitey shouted before going to his office.

Haley smiled in relief and started packing her books, trying to pretend she was not looking at a certain brown haired played even if she was. She was about to go up and talk to him because she wanted to thank him for the sand castle and also because she missed him when she heard someone call her name.

"Haley!" Haley looked around for the source of that voice. Peyton stood at the other side of the stands, waving at her.

Haley stared at Nathan who had grabbed his towel and bottle and was making his way to the front door then at Peyton. She groaned before making her way to Peyton.

"Haley, I'm thinking of having open mike night at the club tomorrow. What do you think?" Peyton said as Haley joined her and Brooke.

"It's a great idea, P.Sawyer! C'mon, Tutor Girl, tell her!" Brooke said before Haley could open her mouth.

Brooke and Peyton looked at Haley expectedly.

"Um...Yeah, I think it's a great idea" Haley said, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. 

"Can I count on you as my first singer?" Peyton asked Haley.

"I don't know, Peyt. I'm sorry, I know I said that I will do it but I haven't gotten over my stage fright" Haley said slowly.

"Okay" Peyton said, shrugging. "What do you think of the flyers?"

Peyton lifted up a couple of pieces of paper. Haley stared at the paper for a second. The top of the paper was covered with the word Open Mike Night, below there were the words At Tric. There were sketches of a couple of people in the background, holding mikes.

"That's awesome, Peyton! You want some help putting them up?" Haley asked.

"No, it's okay. I'm putting them up later. I have to go home now and design a couple more flyers" and with that Peyton grabbed her duffel bag and walked off.

"So, Tutor Girl, wanna grab some hours at the mall. I'm thinking a mani, pedi..." Brooke said, thinking about other stuff to do at the mall.

"Yeah, just a sec, Brooke" Haley said, walking away from her backwards. She wanted to talk to Nathan first. She turned around and stopped short.

Nathan stood at the front of the entrance doors to the gym. But he wasn't alone. He was talking to that new cheerleader, Rachel something.

They weren't really talking. It looked more like she was flirting with him. She flipped her hair over and placed her hand on his shoulder. She giggled at something he said. Nathan's face was serious and unsmiling though. But Haley didn't see the annoyance reflected on Nathan's face. All she saw the elegant hand placed on Nathan's shoulder.

Haley turned around and stared at Brooke who was watching her with a concern look on her face.

"So, what are we waiting for? Let's go to the mall!" Haley said, with a fake smile.

**All you have to do is submit a review and I will try to update ASAP. Thanks! Oh and I haven't watched last nights episode yet, going to though. **


	28. A Million Miles Away

**Hey, since it's the weekend and I had extra time, I decided to post more chapters, and I'm sorry it's moving slowly. but when Haley and Nathan get together, I'll promise it will be good.**

Nathan turned the door knob and entered his room. He immediatly regretted his actions as he heard his parents yelling at each other. Again.

He decided to ignore them as he always did. When he passed the living room where his parents were having their daily shouting marathon, he immediatly ducked as a flying object nearly took his head off. 

"Nathan" his mother said, finally noticing him. She flinched when she realized that the statue she had thrown at Dan nearly hit her son. "I'm so sorry, honey. Your father and I were just...".

"Whatever" Nathan muttered, interrupting her. Before she or Dan could say anything, he ran up to his room.

Once he had reached the sanctuary of his bedroom, he collapsed on the bed tired after practise. He didn't care about his parents. They fought all the time that it was practically a daily routine. He wished they would just get divorced and give them all a break. After a moment, he groaned then got off the bed as he realized that he had tons of homework to do.

He walked to his desk and sat down, lunging his school bag with him. He grabbed his math textbook out of his bag and was just about to start his homework when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

He picked up the object that had attracted his attention. He suddenly smiled.

It was a five in one picture from a photo booth in the mall. It was taken just a day before Haley received the news about her uncle. 

There were only two people in this picture. One of them was himself, Nathan and the other was the only person that Nathan had ever truly loved.

The first picture, Haley and Nathan were sticking their tongues out at each other. The second, they were making funny faces at the camera. The third and fourth, they smiled normally at the camera. Haley thought that there were only four pictures so she wasn't prepared for the fifth one.

In the fifth picture, Nathan was smiling at the camera but Haley... Haley was just looking at Nathan with a half smile on her lips and a sad look in her eyes.

Nathan stared at the fifth picture. He realized that he had never noticed Haley's expression in that picture. She looked so sad. He stared at it for a long time before finally putting it away. He wished it would be just as easy to put his feelings for her away but it's hard to run away from true love.

-------------------------

"You're late" Haley teased when Nathan finally arrived.

Nathan looked confused as he stared at his watch.

"It's 7.01 and 30 seconds, you made me wait 90 seconds" Haley said.

Nathan stared at her for a moment, before he realized that she was kidding. He grinned at her.

"I've forgotten how obsessed you are with being punctual" Nathan said, sitting down across from her.

"Hey, be glad I'm so nice. Most tutors would just walk away" Haley said, holding her hands up.

"Well, thank you" he said, seriously as he stared at her intently. "For tutoring me".

The silence between them deepened as they stared into each other eyes. There was so much to say but neither of them could say it. Haley couldn't breathe. Her heart was hammering against her rib cage so loud she was surprised that he couldn't hear it. She didn't want to look away but she had to.

"So, um, I looked over your English paper" Haley said, breaking the spell as she looked down. "And I know where you went wrong".

Nathan blinked, surprised at how quickly the moment was forgotten about. He nodded trying to hide his feelings as he listened to her talking about nouns and verbs.

They sat there by the docks, the rising sun reflected in the river next to them, the only sound heard other than Haley's voice was the water gushing down the waterfall at the edge of the river.

And a million miles away, a lone bird sang out a sad tune for the girl who was too scared to love the boy.


	29. Come Tonight

30 minutes later

"So, do you want a lift to school?" Nathan asked Haley as they walked to his car.

"I'm not sure that I can be seen with you" Haley said slowly. Then she laughed "sure, if you don't mind".

"Well, I do but I like to help the disadvantage every once in a while" Nathan said, grinning.

They smiled at each other, grateful that they had found each other again even if it was just as friends...At least for the time being.

"Nathan! Nathan!" they turned to the direction of the voice and Haley groaned inwardly. Rachel was walking towards towards them in tight bicycle shorts and a red halter neck. Haley wondered how anyone could possibly execise in clothes like that.

"Hey, you" Rachel said, walking in front of Nathan and completely blocking Haley out. "Do you wanna give me a ride to school?".

Nathan looked at Haley before saying "Well, actually me and Haley...".

"Haley and I" Haley said before she can stop herself. She mentally slapped herself as Rachel turned around and gave her an odd look. Nathan on the other hand looked very amused.

"Um...It's okay. I'd rather walk anyway" Haley said, walking away from the two of them.

"Wait, Haley" Nathan said walking towards her.

"It's cool, Nathan. Really" and with that Haley walked away, which left Nathan with Rachel.

"So, how about that ride?" Rachel said, winking at Nathan.

------------------

"Hey, pretty girl" Lucas said as he sat down next to Brooke at lunch.

"Hey, boyfriend!" Brooke said, smiling at Lucas.

"There's something I kinda wanna ask you" Lucas said, nervously.

"And what's that?" Brooke asked, curious.

"Well, you might not be very happy but you know Peyton?" Lucas said, shyly.

"Yes?" Brooke said, slowly. Her eyes narrowed at him as he spoke.

"Well, she is organizing this teen night tonight at TRIC and I was wondering if you would like to come as my date?" Lucas teased.

"Lucas Scott!" Brooke said, slapping him on the arm. "For a minute there I thought you were dumping me for Peyton!".

Lucas burst out laughing. "Seriously? Aw, come on pretty girl, why would I ever want anyone else when I have you?".

"Good point" Brooke said, kissing him.

-------------------

Jake closed his locker door and turned away. He cried out in surprise as he nearly whacked into Peyton as she was standing right behind him.

"I'm so sorry" Peyton said, moving away. "I was just going to talk to you then you turned and...".

"It's cool" Jake interrupted. "So, what's up?" he said walking towards the cafeteria.

"Well, I know it's last minute and you probably have plans but it would mean a lot to me" Peyton babbled on. She suddenly stopped short. "I mean, would you like to come to TRIC tonight? We're having open mike slash teen night". She handed him a flyer.

"Great. What time?" Jake said, looking at the flyer.

"Really? Great! Um...Seven thirtyish?" Peyton asked.

"Ok, cool. I'll be there" Jake said, smiling at her.

"Okay! Cool, I got to go...um hand out more flyers. See you" Peyton turned away and nearly crashed into a tiny freshman.

He heard her muttering "I'm so sorry" to the freshman before she ran off. He chuckled as he realized that he couldn't wait for tonight.

-----------------

"Hales?" Haley's heart started beating very fast as she heard that deep voice. She turned to look at him.

"Hey, Nate. What's up?" she asked.

Nathan grinned at her before lifting up the test paper he was hiding behind his back. "I got 81 for the English pop quiz today".

"Oh my God, Naty, that's great!" and before she could stop herself, she gave him a big hug. She blushed as she realized what she was doing and pulled away.

"So, um...Tonight, there's this teen night at the new club, um I think it's called TRIC" Nathan said, nervously, looking at his feet.

"Yeah?" Haley said, looking up at him, expectedly.

"Are you going?" Nathan asked, still looking at the floor.

"I'm not sure" Haley said, slowly for she hadn't made up her mind yet.

"You should come. I think it'll be fun" Nathan said, looking at her in the eye.

She couldn't help it. Ever since they were kids, she had always done whatever Nathan had wanted her to do. She had always been stubborn but when Nathan looked at her with those deep blue eyes, she immediatly agreed to whatever he wanted.

"Okay, I'll come" Haley said, smiling.

**Please review.**


	30. I'll Wait For You Someday

She never showed up.

Nathan stood miserably in a corner of the club, drinking a can of Coke. The whole club was in full swing. There were dozens of people on the dance floor dancing to the music played by the DJ. The small booths that were placed at the sides of the club were all filled up.

Nathan loved a party more than anyone else but he couldn't bring himself to enjoy it tonight. Ever since he arrived, he had been looking for her. He had spent a long time getting ready for the party because he wanted to look good for her. After waiting for her for nearly an hour, he realized that she wasn't gonna show up and he had been lurking at the back of the club ever since.

"Hey, you" Rachel said, walking up to him. Nathan could hardly hear her because the noise level in the club was so high.

Nathan muttered "hey" as he leaned against the wall.

Rachel looked at the can of Coke and smirked. "You look like you need a drink".

"Teen night, Rach" Nathan said, shifting his position on the wall.

"I know how we can get some alcohol" Rachel smiled. She walked a few feet away then turned around and looked at him. "Come on".

Nathan hesitated. Then he gave in and followed her. After all, he did need a drink.

------------------

"Okay, one ice lemon tea for you and a Coke for me" Lucas said, placing the drinks on the table before sitting down.

Brooke smiled then looked around the club.

"You okay, pretty girl?" Lucas asked.

"What?" Brooke asked distractedly, still looking away.

"You okay?" Lucas repeated.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Brooke said, finally looking at Lucas. "Just worried about Nathan". She sipped her drink then wrinkled her nose. "I hate teen nights. No alcohol".

"Yeah, I know what you mean. About Nathan, not teen night. He was really depressed when I told him that I hadn't seen Haley".

"I tried calling her but she didn't pick up" Brooke said. "You think something happened".

"Nah, but I think I'll check on her. You know, see if she's all right" Lucas said, placing a hand over Brooke's.

"You think you can dance first?" Brooke winked at him as a new song started.

Lucas seemed to think about it. "I don't think so". He stood up and offered Brooke his hand. "Depends which girl".

Brooke took it and stood up. He led them to the dance floor. "You better not think about dancing with another girl, Lucas Scott" she said, against his shoulder as they slow danced.

"Why would I?" Lucas said, smiling down at his girlfriend.

-------------------

"Oh, no! Where did I put it? It has to be here somewhere" Peyton said, rummaging through some boxes.

Jake lifted up a box from floor and walked over to Peyton.

"You looking for this?" Jake asked.

Peyton stood up and looked through the box.

"Yes! Where did you find it?" Peyton said, grabbing a couple of CDs from the box.

"On the floor at the other side".

The two of them were back stage. Peyton because she was the manager of TRIC and Jake because he wanted to help her.

"Why are you so stressed anyway? Everyone's having a great time" Jake asked as he took the CD's she handed him. She grabbed a few and walked away. She turned around and jerked her head, indicating that he should follow her.

"Because it's supposed to be OPEN MIKE NIGHT. And nobody wants to sing. So, all we have is the DJ" Peyton said, walking in front of him.

"And?" Jake asked, following her.

"And" Peyton said, stopping short and turning around to face him. "I wanted this night to be something different, something special and now it's just like any other night". She grabbed the CDs that Jake was holding then turned around again and walked up to the DJ. She handed him the Cd's with a smile.

"It's okay. Let's just have a good time" Peyton said.

Jake suddenly had a brainwave.

"Okay, I'll meet you out there. I have to use the toilet" Jake said. He suddenly slapped his hand over his mouth embarrassed.

Peyton smiled then walked off to join Brooke and Lucas on the dance floor.

Jake watched her leave then walked backstage. He grabbed his guitar that he had brought earlier then walked onstage. Nobody saw him walk up onstage for the stage was in total darkness. He motioned to the DJ to cut the music.

As soon as the music stopped, everyone looked around in surprise. Junk, a friend of Jake's and a worker in TRIC switched on the stage lights. It was then that everyone noticed that Jake onstage.

Peyton's eyes widened in surprise as she saw Jake sit down on a stool placed in the center of the stage.

"Hey, everyone" Jake said, talking into the mike. "I just wanna sing a song I wrote for a special someone. It's called Someday".

_It's the biggest storm in years they say. _  
_Couldn't take a plane so I hopped a train _  
_I'd like to stay, in a stormy winters day _  
_so I'll come back to you someday _

---------------------

"Wow, Rachel, your powers with bartenders really amaze me" Nathan said, holding up his drink.

Rachel had flirted with the bartender long enough to convince him to give them a bottle of vodka. They now, sat at the corner of the bar, drinking to their hearts content.

"Tell me something I don't know" Rachel said, refilling her glass. "Like what's up with you and that girl?"

Nathan chuckled. "I don't even know anymore" he said, gulping down his drink. He grabbed the bottle and poured some into his glass. "It's like one minute we're joking around and having fun and the next..." he shrugged."I don't know anymore".

_As the states rolled by _  
_its all so clear _  
_I'm everywhere but never right here _  
_It's always the same _  
_constant change. _  
_But I'll come back to you someday _

"How long have you known her?" Rachel asked.

"All my life" Nathan said. "She is my life, you know? I love her". Nathan laughed drunkenly. "I've never told her, though".

"Why not?" Rachel asked, filing up his drink.

"I don't know" Nathan said, slightly confused. He gulped down his drink again.

_So close so far __  
__so long the world __  
__spin me away_

"Let's change the subject" Rachel said, smiling at him.

Nathan smiled back.

--------------------

Brooke was trying to find Peyton. As soon as Jake finished his song onstage, Peyton had run off somewhere. Brooke wanted to tell Peyton that the DJ was looking for her, something to do with some scratched CD.

Brooke had looked everywhere. Finally she decided to check the roof of the club which was one of Peyton's favorite spots in the club.

Brooke walked up the stairs located at the back of the club. As soon as she reached the top floor, she pushed open the door. She walked up on the roof. It was dark so she couldn't see anything. She thought she heard some noises coming from a few feet behind her. She turned around and gasped in shock.

She saw something she never thought she'd see. One of the Scott brothers making out with Rachel Gattina.

**I had some free time so I updated again. please review. Thanks! **


	31. If I Say Yes, Can I Still See Nathan?

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. I actually have written like 33 chapters already so just review and another chapter will come your way. Anyway, enjoy!**

She had planned to come. She had gotten dressed and everything. But as she was just about to leave, she realized that she had left her purse in the living room. She walked to the living room and immediately spotted her purse on the couch in front of the coffee table.

She walked over to the couch, so deep in thought that she didn't see the coffee table. She only noticed it once she tripped over it and fell onto the ground. Cursing herself for being so clumsy, she realized that the contents on the coffee table had fallen.

There wasn't much on it. Just her math homework, an empty bottle of orange juice (thank God it was empty) and an old photo frame. Still on the floor, she picked up her homework and the bottle and placed back onto the coffee table. She then noticed the photo frame that had fallen. She gently picked it up.

The glass in the frame had broken, tearing the picture inside and ruining it. A lump formed in her throat when she saw the picture.

It was one of the only pictures she had of her parents. It was taken on their wedding day so many years ago. She ran a finger down the picture, not realizing that the glass had cut her finger causing it to bleed.

She slowly stood up and walked to the garbage can that were placed in the kitchen. She opened the lid and threw the frame inside. Then, she walked back into the living room and grabbed her purse, retaining a calm demeanor.

She looked around the living room, remembering her childhood spent there.

_'Mummy, mummy, I fell down. Look' little Haley pointed at her knee that was bleeding_

_'Honey, what happened?'_

_'I was in the park with Nathan and...'_

_Maybe you should stop hanging out with that boy, her father teased._

_No! Haley shrieked. 'It doesn't hurt anymore. I'm all better.' _

_'Let's bandage it to be sure, okay honey?' her mother said, with a warning glance at her father._

_'I'll do it' her father said. 'Come on honey' he carried Haley to the bathroom where they kept the first aid kit and carefully bandaged her knee._

_'Does it still hurt?' her father asked her._

_Haley hesitated. 'If I say yes, can I still see Nathan?' Her father had laughed really loudly and she had laughed with him because she loved it when she made him laugh. Her parents said they would always be there for her but it was all a lie._

Haley sat back down onto the couch. It was then that she noticed her bleeding finger. She smeared in on her dress, ignoring the pain. No mom to kiss it and make the pain go away, no father to bandage it and tell her it was all going to be all right.

And the tears started to fall.

-------------

Haley put another mouthful of Chocolate Chip ice cream into her mouth. She couldn't believe that she was eating straight from the carton but it had been a long day so ice cream was the best solution or the only one.

She sat in front of the television, watching Titanic for the first time. After all, there were no televisions in the Amazon. She had just gotten to the part where Jack and Rose met for the first time when the doorbell rang.

She grabbed the remote and hit the pause button. She stood up and looked down at her outfit, a pajama bottom and a red short sleeve shirt, decent enough to answer the door.

She walked over to the front door and swung it open. 

She looked at the person in front of her in surprise.

"Hi" she said as she forced a smile at one of the Scott brothers.


	32. Just Don't

**And now the moment, some of you have been waiting for (in the voice of a cheesy talk show host), drum roll please….**

"Wait, Brooke, I'm sorry" he shouted as she turned around and ran towards the stairs.

She turned around, her eyes burning with anger.

"How dare you!" she said, glaring at him as the tears rolled down. "How dare you cheat on me!"

Brooke turned away and was just about to walk off when he grabbed her arm and said "please just hear me out".

"Lucas Scott! Give me one good reason why I should?" she yelled.

He opened his mouth but no words came out. She stared at him for a moment before saying "yeah, that's what I thought".

She was going to walk off again when she suddenly changed her mind. She tried to stop the tears from falling but she couldn't. She stifled a sob as she walked past Lucas to Rachel. She stood in front of Rachel for a moment then she slapped her.

She turned away and ran back down the stairs, out the front entrance of the club and into her car. It was only when she was inside her car did she allow herself to breakdown and cry. 

Flashback

"Hey, babe" Lucas said, kissing Brooke on the cheek as he sat down across from her. "I'm sorry but the bar is out of juice, they just have alcohol and water".

"That's impractical for teen night" Brooke said, smiling at her beau.

Lucas looked around the club before saying "do you know where Nate went?".

Brooke looked around too. "I just saw him sitting at the bar with Rachel. I can't see her either".

"I should probably look for him. You know cheer him up a bit" Lucas said, standing up. He kissed Brooke goodbye and walked away.

He had probably looked everywhere. Finally he decided to try the roof of the club thinking that Nathan probably got sick of the atmosphere of the club.

Once he reached the roof of the club, he heard someone call his name. He turned around to see Rachel Gattina standing at the edge of the roof. She was leaning against the wall smiling at him. He walked over to her.

"Hey, Rach. Have you see Nate?" he said, once he reached her.

Rachel didn't speak for a moment. Because she suddenly realized that this Scott brother was just as good looking as the other one. _Well, if Nathan doesn't want me, I'm sure at least Lucas does_

Rachel looked at him and smiled. "Who's Nate?" she said softly, moving closer to him.

"My...uh, my brother, Nathan" he said, slightly nervous at her close proximity.

"Oh, him!" she suddenly laughed loudly. She placed a hand on his arm and said, her voice even lower "Are you sure you wanna know? Because I can think of better things to talk about...Or better things to do".

He was slightly taken off guard by that sentence and it was at that moment that she kissed him. And even though he knew that he shouldn't, he found himself kissing her back.

And a few minutes later, Brooke walked in.

End of Flashback

--------------------

"Hey" Haley said, forcing a smile at Nathan.

Nathan looked away for a moment before looking back at her,

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" he asked.

"Um...I'm not really dressed..." Haley stammered.

"You're dressed fine" Nathan said. He turned around and walked a few feet before turning around again. "You coming?" he asked, looking at her.

She hesitated before grabbing her coat off the coat rack by the door. She grabbed her house keys and walked out of the house, locking the front door.

_Well, I've never been able to say no to him_, she thought as she walked up next to him.

-----------------

They had been walking in silence for ten minutes before Haley spoke up "I'm sorry for not coming to the club. I wanted to but...".

Nathan cut her off "it's okay". 

Silence again. Haley looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was staring at his feet as they walked, something he always did when he was nervous.

"Listen Hales" he said, stopping short and turning around to face her.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you for awhile" he said, still staring at the ground.

"What is it, Nate?" she asked. He didn't say anything so she pressed on "come on, you know you can tell me anything".

He finally looked up and their eyes connected. His eyes burned with hope and anticipation. She could feel her heart racing and a shiver went down her spine.

"I wanna be with you" he said, staring intently at her.

Her eyes widened in surprise. Her hand flew to her mouth as she stared at him in shock.

"But the phone call...It got cut off after I said that I..."she stammered on.

"I didn't cut you off Hales" he said, softly. "I thought you did".

"I didn't either" she said. So, he didn't cut her off. He probably didn't hear what she said either. She looked down at her feet. She couldn't look at him then.

"I'll say it again, Bugs" he said, softly, moving closer to her. "I wanna be with you".

She looked up at him, her mouth slightly opened in shock. He placed a hand beneath her chin. His other hand wrapped around her waist as he gently pulled her closer to him.

He lowered his face and kissed her softly on the mouth. She responded, throwing her arms around his neck, trying to show him how much he meant to her. Suddenly she broke away.

Nathan looked surprised as she slowly pushed herself away from him.

"I'm sorry, I can't" she said, her voice barely audible.

He couldn't speak for a moment. Then he found his voice and said "Haley...".

"I'm sorry, Nathan" she interrupted him, trying not to cry. "But I can't...I don't wanna be with you".

He looked down at her, the hope, anticipation and finally joy no longer in his eyes.

"You have no idea" she started.

"Don't Hales. Just don't" he said, walking backwards from her.

"Nathan, I'm sorry" she said as a solitary tear went down her face.

He didn't say anything more. He just turned around and walked off.

**You probably hate the fact that it's moving so slowly but don't worry, there's this heart breaking chapter coming up soon then….**

**please review**


	33. Revelations Of A Broken Heart

**Hey, guys. Thanks so much for the reviews. I know some of you are confused so I hope the next chapter will help you understand better. And please don't hate Haley. She's just a confused kid.**

Haley's POV

I just stood there, watching him leave for the second time in a week and I realized just how much I loved him.

It was a surprise for me to hear that he wanted to be with me because I always thought that kiss by the docks was an accident, a spur of the moment thing. I also thought that he had hung up on me after I had told him that I loved him.

All I wanted was to be with him. Always and forever. But I couldn't. Destiny has a way of playing our lives. We always thought that we would find each other and that we would get married and live happily ever after. But we weren't meant to be. I knew that before I had come to Tree Hill.

_The, why did you come?!_ I screamed at myself. It was an easy answer. I had come because I wanted to see him just one more time. Just one more time before I left again.

"What do I do?" I shouted to the skies above me. As if to answer me, the skies opened up and rain started to fall.

I closed my eyes and just stood there in the rain, trying to clear my thoughts.

I couldn't hurt him; I would rather die that hurt him anymore than I have already. It was better this way, I tried to reassure myself. I'm leaving again soon and the last thing I want to happen is to leave him with a broken heart just like I did all those years ago. He wouldn't have to hurt for long and at least I've set him free.

-----------

Nathan's POV

I walked away from her. I tried not to think because if I did, then it would just hurt more. I think I stumbled and fell a few times while I was walking but I don't remember feeling any pain. For a while, I just felt numb and I was grateful for that feeling. Because a few minutes later, that numb feeling went away and all I was left with was the pain.

When the pain came, I couldn't take it anymore. I ran home, tying to run from the pain itself. Trying to run from my broken heart.

I managed to reach home without losing it. I stood in front of my house, staring at the shadows playing on the front walls of the house. And for awhile, I was lost in the darkness.

I had no idea how long I stood there but after awhile, I decided that I had to do something before I allowed myself to succumb to my pain.

I walked to my garage which was placed next to the house. Once I let myself in, I walked to the back room of the garage which was where my old stuff were kept. I spotted the object at once and walked towards it. It was an old doll house I had built myself.

Flashback

"Nathan! What is it? Let me see" little Haley said.

"Not yet, Bugs. Just walk a bit further" Nathan said, keeping his hands over her eyes. They walked up the stairs of Haley's house and finally reached her room.

"Okay, now you can look" Nathan said, removing his hands from her eyes.

Haley opened her eyes and gaped at the object in shock.

"Happy early birthday, Hales" Nathan said, from behind her.

Haley slowly walked to the dollhouse, running her hand down the wooden roof. She couldn't say anything because she was still in shock.

"You said you wanted a dollhouse to remind you of the house we were going to live in when we got married, remember?" Nathan said, watching her.

"It's beautiful" she said, softly. Suddenly she burst into tears.

"Haley, what's wrong?" Nathan asked, running up to her and holding her tightly.

"I'm going to miss you" she said, crying softly into his shoulder.

"But, Bugs, we'll see each other soon" he said, not letting go of her.

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I love it, I really do. It's the best present I've ever gotten" she said, looking at him sadly. "I just don't want to leave you".

"Then, don't" he said, softly.

"I have to. Uncle Keith is coming to pick me up soon" she said, trying not to cry again. She looked down.

"Oh, Haley, don't cry" Nathan said, placing his hand under his chin and lifted her face up. He looked deep into her eyes and for awhile neither of them said anything.

"I love you" Haley said, breaking the silence.

"I love you too, Hales" Nathan said, pulling her into a hug again.

"Promise me that we will get married someday and live in a house just like the dollhouse" she said, softly, wrapping her arms around him.

"I promise, Bugs" he said, tightening his arms around her, not wanting to let go.

End of Flashback

That was so many years ago. But I remember every second of that moment. Haley couldn't take the dollhouse with her to the Amazon forest/South America so I kept it. And every once in a while, I would come down here and just look at it, and remember our promise to each other.

But that promise was a lie, I thought as I stared at the dollhouse. She didn't love me, she didn't even want me. And suddenly the pain became too much.

I saw the toolbox on the floor near my foot and picked it up. Inside I found what I was looking for, a hammer. Staring at the dollhouse, I raised the hammer above my head and struck it.

I hammered the dollhouse over and over again, hearing the satisfying noise of the wood breaking. It was only when all that was left of the dollhouse was a pile of saw dust, did I stop. I stood there, regarding the sight.

Then I just sat down on the floor and buried my hands in my head


	34. Wait and See

**Hey, thank you so much! Your reviews were amazing! But I have to say I'm not telling what Haley's problem is. I'll give you a clue, she met someone in the Amazon and … That's all I'm giving. So, hope you enjoy this chapter. The story gets a little bit more dramatic… Anyways, enjoy!**

Deb woke up to the sound of someone snoring. She rolled over to her right and cringed. Dan was sleeping next to her, with his mouth open and drooling on his pillow. She jumped out of bed, eventhough it wasn't technically morning yet. She glanced at the didgital clock which stood on her night stand. The time read 4:32 in glowing red numbers. 

She groaned, wondering what on Earth had possesed Dan to think that they could sleep in th same bed without killing one another. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for months now and all of a sudden, he just shows up at her bed. She wanted to whack him with a pillow so he would wake up but that would only lead to another shouting match and she didn't want Nathan to wake up to that.

She walked to her window and opened the curtains, letting the moonlight shine in. She looked at the sleeping neighbourhood, wondering if any one of those rich people with their diamonds and their designer clothes had it as bad as she did.

She hated her life. Dan had made her life a living hell for as long as she remembered. He always pretended to be the loving and supportive husband in front of the public's eyes. _Lucky woman_ her friends called her. Managed to score the handsome rich Dan Scott, living the perfect life.

If only they knew, what went on behind the curtains. She was his slave, she had to obey his every order. She had to pretend to love him, cook for him, clean up after him, do every damn thing he wanted her to! If she didn't he would take away the only thing she loved, her son, Nathan.

Looking out the window, staring at the skies, she suddenly decided that it was time. She turned around and glanced at the sleeping figure on her bed, making sure he really was asleep. Once she had reassured herself, she slowly tiptoed out of the room, careful not to make a sound.

She walked slowly down the stairs, hardly daring to breathe. Once she reached the bottom of the stairs, she grabbed her coat off the coat rack and made her way to the front door. She opened the door, cringing when it creaked. She stepped outside, breathing the fresh air. _Soon it would be even more fresh, when I would finally be free_ she thought as she made her way to the second garage.

The first garage actually served as a basement. It held Nathan's old stuff and other odd junk. The second garage was actually where the cars were kept. It was a huge garage, able to hold up to 6 cars comfortable.

She slowly opened the garage, trying not to make a sound. She walked to her car, grabing her keys on the way. Once she reached her car, she slipped the key into the keyhole that unlocked the boot and turned it. As soon as she heard the 'click' sound which signified that the boot was opened, she raised it.

Her heart started beating very loudly when she saw the object. She slowly lowered hands to carry it when she remembered the advice her friend had given her.

_Always wear gloves, that way you can't be traced.___

_But Kurt, she said to her old friend, it's so big, I just want to kill him, noone else.___

_It's very old technology. The bigger the bomb, the smaller the explosion he reassured her.___

_She stared at him, wondering if killing Dan was the only solution. The only way she and Kurt could be together.___

_How do you get the bomb?, she asked him.___

_I have friends in high places, he said vaguely. He looked at her with love in his eyes. Are you sure you wanna do this? he asked.___

_She looked at him solemly. It's the only way, she said simply. She reached up and kissed him fully on the lips then. And for a minute, they were lost in each other._

Deb walked over to the front of the car and pulled open the passenger's door. She reached into the glove department and found what she was looking for - a pair of black leather gloves.

She put them on, trying to ignoring the morale voice in her head, telling her what she was doing was wrong. _I'm doing it for Kurt_she thought to herself.

She walked back down to the boot an lifted the object. She could hardly carry it, it was so heavy. She struggled for a bit, then walked over to the newest car in the garage, the bomb in her arms.

Dan liked to try out new models of cars before selling it at his dealership. He would bring one new car home every Friday night and would spend Saturday driving around in it. _At least he'll die in the best_ Deb thought, scornfully refering to the car.

She reached the new car and lifted the hood of boot easily. She laughed at Dan's lack of safety. He never found any reason to lock his cars at night while they were in the safety of his home. She placed the bomb inside carefully.

Once it was safe in the boot of the car, she grabbed her handphone from her pocket and dialled a familiar number.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered sleepily.

"It's me" Deb whispered. "It's in the car. Now what?".

"Lift the top part open. You need a screwdriver to do that" the voice said, no longer sleepy. "You will notice a bunch of wires in it".

Deb grabbed a screwdriver that was hanging on the wall nearby. She turned the screwdriver until one by one, all the screws came out. She slowly lifted up the top part and just like he said, there were a bunch of wires inside.

"Okay, now what?" she said, softly.

"Cut the red one. That will start the timer" she followed his instructions and soon a 'click' sound was heard.

"Now, there's a timer located at the back of the bomb. Set it" he instructed.

Deb found the timer. She looked at her watch. 5:07. Dan would most likely go on his weekly drive at 10.30. Setting it for 11:07, Deb then said into the phone "Now what?".

"Now, we wait and see".


	35. Wake Up To Your End

**Since the earlier one was short, I decided to update another short one**

Haley woke up to the sound of her ringing hand phone. Without lifting her head off her pillow, she grabbed her hand phone which was on her bed side table. She looked at the phone and was instantly wide awake.

"Brooke, its 10am on a Saturday, what are you doing awake?" Haley asked concerned, as she answered the phone.

For a moment, she couldn't hear anything then Brooke's voice came on the phone.

"Haley" she cried. "Can you come over?"

"Brooke, what's wrong?" Haley asked, getting out of bed.

"Lucas...cheated...on me" she managed to say before bursting into tears.

"Oh my God! I'll be there in five minutes, ok?" she said, hanging up. She walked over to her bathroom and started showering.

When she got dressed, she ran downstairs, grabbing her keys on her way out. As soon as she reached her car, she knew that there was something wrong with it.

"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed as she realized that her front two tires were flat.

"I guess I'll have to walk" she muttered, looking up at the skies wondering if it would rain.

----------------

"Hey son, glad you're up" Dan said as Nathan walked into the kitchen showered and dressed.

"Couldn't sleep last night" Nathan yawned as he reached for a glass of orange juice. "You working today?" he asked, indicating his father's formal attire on a Saturday morning.

"Yeah" Dan said ruefully. "Got a meeting over in Charleston which means I can't give the new car I brought over last night a test run".

Nathan nodded, gulping down the glass of juice and refilling it to the brim.

"Hey?" Dan asked as if he was hit by a brainstorm. "How would _you_ like to test run the car?".

"Really, dad?" he asked, surprised. Dan had never before let him test drive the new models.

"Yeah, why not? You want to?" Dan asked as he took out the car keys which were in his pocket.

"Uh, yeah. Of course" Nathan said, smiling. He caught the keys that Dan just threw at him. "Thanks dad".


	36. The Timeline Of All Our Goodbyes

Haley took a long time to get to Brooke's house. She tried to get there as fast as possible but it was a long distance to walk. She was just glad that Peyton was already there with her.

The good thing about the fact that she was walking on a Saturday morning was that there was very little traffic. Hardly anyone was out, only the occasional runner or small kid with a pet.

After a few minutes of walking with nothing else to do, Haley go bored and decided to play the license plate game with the cars parked near the sidewalk. Finally Haley spotted a moving car. Well it had stopped moving at the traffic light but at least there was someone in it.

It was a pretty sweet car too. Haley let out a whistle of appreciation at the car when she got near it. The driver of the car must have heard her for he turned around to look.

Haley's heart started beating very fast. It was Nathan driving the car. She stopped walking and just stood, rooted to the spot as their eyes connected. Then the moment was gone as Nathan's eyes darkened and he drove away even though the traffic light was still red.

Haley sighed. _I deserve it anyway_ she thought miserably. She suddenly realized that Brooke was still expecting her so she started walking again.  
_  
__I'm so late._ She thought as she looked at her watch. The time read 10.25am.

--------------

"I just can't believe he would do something like this" Brooke sobbed into Haley's shoulder twenty minutes later. Brooke was sitting on her bed with the other two on either side of her.

"Do you know why?" Peyton asked, placing a hand on Brooke's arm for comfort.

"No. We were getting along great and I think I was falling in love with him and now" she didn't her sentence. She just started crying all over again.

"It'll be okay" Haley said softly. 

Brooke didn't answer. She was too chocked up.

"I love you guys for this" she finally spoke a few minutes later. "But I think I just want to be alone at this point".

"You sure, Brooke?" Peyton asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Thanks though" she said, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

Haley and Peyton hugged her goodbye before they walked to her bedroom door.

"Call if you need anything" Haley said before she and Peyton walked out the room. Brooke waited until their footsteps died away before she started sobbing uncontrollably.

--------------

"Poor Brooke" Peyton said as they walked out her house.

"Yeah" was the only thing Haley could reply.

They walked down Brooke's driveway, neither saying a word. The silence deepened between them as they both contemplated their heartbroken friend.

"I know it's out of the blue but how are you and Jake?" Haley asked, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" Peyton said, not meeting Haley's glance. She walked a little faster, trying not to show blush.

"Don't play blonde with me, girly girl" Haley said, jogging to keep up with her. "Spill".

"It's a long story" Peyton said, letting out a small giggle.

"I've got nothing but time here, Sawyer" Haley teased.

Peyton smiled at her friend then slapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh my God, I just remembered! I have to be at TRIC at 11 because some reporter wants to do an interview on the club" and with that, she sprinted ahead of Haley without even saying goodbye.

"Bye, Peyton" Haley shouted after her. Peyton waved goodbye the disappeared around a corner.

Haley kept walking, enjoying it at a more leisure pace than earlier. The sun was high in the air but a light breeze going around made the air cooler. Haley looked up at the sky and saw a solitary raven flying high in the air. She knew that it symbolized something but she couldn't remember what.

She was shaken from her thoughts when she accidentally whacked into a small boy.

"Sorry" she said to him. He didn't pay attention. He was too busy talking to his friend, a girl slightly shorter than him too notice that he even whacked someone.

A small smile came over Haley's face as she watched the two of them walk away together, the small boy's arm over the girl's shoulders. It was she and Nathan 12 years ago all over again.

A solitary tear escaped her eye as she tried so hard not to cry. She wiped it with the sleeve of her shirt and took a deep breathe to steady herself. She thought she would be out off tears considering the amount of crying she did last night.

After a moment, she got a hold of herself and started walking again. She tried to enjoy the walk but she couldn't anymore. Thoughts of Nathan kept interrupting her peace. She sped up her pace, wanting to get home as soon as possible so that she could be alone.

As soon as she stepped onto the road, a car drove past her really fast, making her jump back up on the curb. Her heart racing at her narrow escape, for the car nearly hit her; she realized that it was the car that Nathan was driving earlier.

She still hadn't moved when she saw the car that Nathan was driving stop a hundred meters away at a traffic light. She stared at Nathan's car, wondering why he was going so fast when the car suddenly blew up.

The time read 11.07.


	37. Light On My Shoulder

**Hey, guys! Thank you so much for the reviews!**

**I need you guys to open a new window and go to youtube (it's a website, just put youtube the after that put .com) then search for light on my shoulder. Its a song by susie soh. Click on any of the given videos that plays the song. **

**It is very important that you guys go to this webpage and on a new window. Please wait for the video to download. I don't need you guys to watch the video, I need you to wait for the whole thing to download. Then, play it and click on this chapter again. Please listen to the song of the video while reading this chapter. If you read the chapter while listening to the song played by the video, then you get the full effect.**

**So, please let me know if you enjoyed it! please review!**

Flashback

"Honey. He's still not back yet, huh?" Haley's mom asked as she sat on the stair next to her seven year old daughter.

Haley looked at her mom with big sad eyes and shook her head. She turned her attention back to the window which showed her a clear view of the Scott's driveway and the road in front of their house.

"You want to go get some ice-cream?" her mom asked her.

Haley wiped a tear from her cheek and looked back at her mother. "No, thanks. I want to be here when he comes back".

"Okay, Haley-bop" her mom kissed her on the forehead before standing up and walking away.

Haley stared back out the window, praying for rain.

By midday, she started having her doubts about him coming back. Nathan and his family had gone for vacation for two weeks, the worst two weeks of their lives. He had called her a couple of times the first few days but after awhile the calls stopped for Dan had taken his phone away from him due to excessive use. He had promised her that he would come back on the 17th so there she was on that lonely Saturday, staring out the window for hours on end.

"Honey, it's getting kind of late. I don't think they coming back tonight" Lydia, her mom said as she walked up to her daughter and squatted in front of her.

Haley didn't say anything. She just continued staring out the window where night had fallen.

"Honey?" her mom asked, worried.

Haley turned her hear towards her mom and said sadly "he's not coming back" and burst into tears.

"Oh, Haley-bop" Lydia muttered as she hugged her daughter as she cried. Haley finally fell asleep in her mom's arms exhausted.

The next morning was a bright and sunny day but it was a dark one for the small girl who had given up hope on her knight in shining armor.

At noon, Haley's parents started getting worried for Haley had still not come out of her room. The day had started out bright but it looked like it would end glum. It started raining around 11 and had no intentions of stopping.

Haley lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, the sound of the rain falling on the roof of her house mute to her as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

The blaring horn of a car outside caused her to sit up straight. She ran to her window and stared out. An unmistakably familiar car was parking on the Scott's driveway. She stood there for a moment, shocked. Then for the first time in two weeks, a smile fell on her lips.

She ran downstairs and out of the house, ignoring the shouts of her parents as she ran into the rain. She stood in her front yard for a moment, invisible to Dan and Deb who were shouting at each other as they grabbed their bags and ran inside the house to prevent from being wet from the rain.

But there was one Scott she would never be invisible to. He came out of the car and immediately noticed her. He grinned for the first time in two weeks and slowly walked up to her. She couldn't wait; she ran up to him and threw her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, promising himself that he would never let go.

"I thought you weren't coming" she muttered in his ear.

"I'll always be here with you, Bugs" he said, softly.

The rain started pouring even harder but they refused to let go.

"Always and forever".

End Of Flashback

Haley stood there for a moment, shocked staring at the car wreckage a mere fifty feet away from her. The impact of the explosion nearly knocked her down as well as other people around her. People were screaming and running away but she was immune to the madness around her. All she could do was stare at the car.

The boot had exploded and with the impact, had flown through the air and landed a few feet away from her. The rest of the car was still intact but every inch of the car was flaming. The fire was big; she was amazed it wasn't spreading yet. The heat radiating from the car was amazing; it was like the sun was scorching the entire street.

She tried to look inside the car but the flames were blocking the windows. She could just imagine the blinding pain Nathan must be feeling as he realized that he was starting to melt. She hoped he had passed out to save him from feeling that much pain.

And suddenly she lost it. The idea of him...Leaving her...

"Nathan!" she screamed. She ran towards the car, ignoring the shouts and screams of the people around her, ignoring the sound of an ambulance approaching from far away in the distance.

She cried as she ran. She started shaking and sobbing uncontrollably but nothing would make her stop running.

"Nathan" she cried as she ran towards the flaming car. Beads of sweat formed on her head as she got closer to the source of heat. "Nathan!"

The image of him forever engraved in her mind, the sound of his voice telling her that he would always be there.

"Please don't leave me" she screamed at the wreckage. She was reaching the car. As soon as she got there, she had to pull him out of the car. She had to save him even if she would burn in the process. There was no life for her without him.

She was mere feet away from the fire. She didn't slow down. She reached out her hand just touching the flames, ignoring the voice in her head screaming out in pain.

"Haley!" a hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her away.

She screamed in protest. "Let go off me! Nathan!" She struggled against the strong arms that were carrying her away...Away from him.

"Haley!" the voice said, as the person struggled to hold her. "It's me".

For a moment, she was confused. She stopped struggling and the person holding her loosened his grip on her but didn't let go.

"Nathan?" she asked, looking into the eyes of the one who had carried her away from the fire. "Y-You're...alive".

He looked deeply into her eyes and nodded. She let out a sob of relief and started crying uncontrollably.

"I thought you weren't coming" she repeated her line from years ago through her tears.

He smiled at her and used his hand to gently wipe her tears away.

"I'll always be here, Bugs", he said softly.

She looked up at him, the tears streaming down her face and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, not wanting to let go when suddenly she broke away from his hold and stared up at him.

He looked at her quizzically.

She smiled again, then suddenly stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips.

Always and Forever.


	38. The Stars Are Bright, My Hope Has Died

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I actually wanted to know what you guys thought about the choice of song for the music. Did you like it, hate it? Anyway, here's the next chapter!**

The kiss lasted all of five seconds. Five seconds to show a lifetime of love, five seconds to hold the one you love in your arms, five seconds...wasn't enough.

"Haley?" he said gently, breaking away from her embrace.

Haley looked up at him, her lips still tingling from their kiss. She smiled nervously, her arms no longer around his neck but at her sides.

He looked at her and said gently "not now, Hales".

He looked past her at the burning car, his expression unreadable. The only sounds she could hear was the fire crackling and an ambulance siren from a distance, all sounds of life otherwise were gone. Everyone had vacated the street, even if it was irrelevant because the fire looked like it had no means of spreading.

Nathan looked back at Haley and then without a word, he turned around and made for the other end of the street where an ambulance was approaching. 

--------------------

Haley shivered, trying to warm herself up in the cold night air. She clutched the steaming hot mug of cocoa in her hands and raised it to her lips. She sipped it and immediately wished she didn't. The bitter taste of the cocoa proved that the drink should only be used for its heat.

Haley wrapped the woolen blanket more tightly around her shoulders, wishing the police would finish already. She had been sitting at the back of a police van for what seemed like forever. Between being questioned by the cops and sitting in that van wrapped in an old blanket, time had moved pretty slowly. She wished she could go back. Night had already fallen but still the cops wouldn't let her go. They still weren't getting the 'right' answers from her.

_I told you the truth! What more do you want?_ she had screamed at them. Her fatigue had worn her patience thin and the repeated questions that kept coming at her hadn't helped at all.

The truth was they had no suspects, no clues and no leads whatsoever.

Haley wished they would at least switch off the siren and the flashing lights that emitted from the many police cars that surrounded the area. The siren had been blaring loud for the past two hours to clear off innocent bystanders from hanging around that area. The lights... god knows what they were needed for.

She stared at the rotating lights, her eyes following their movement and for a minute she was lost in their emptiness. Then her eyes started to tear and she had to look away.

Her eyes caught the burned car at the middle of street. The cops had roped off that area and soon as the fire fighters had put out the fire and the ambulance had retrieved the body from the car.

The person inside that car had been a worker at Dan Scott Motors. The engine in the car had suddenly stopped working and Nathan had brought the car to his father's dealership to get it fixed. Even though the dealership was doing well just selling cars, Dan had gotten a garage installed at the back of the dealership too. That worker, his name was Chris Keller, had fixed the car and had taken it out for a test drive and the car had blown up with him in it.

The police had cut through the car and retrieved the body and the ambulance had whisked it off to the hospital. The last Haley heard, they were still trying desperately to save his life.

Haley glanced at the skies above, the tears slowly coming down her cheeks. The stars above gave her hope even if right now her hope was wearing thin.  
_  
__Please let him live_ she prayed to the heavens above. _Please_.

But God gave no indication to whether or not he had heard her prayers. 

The shining stars gleaming above in the night sky always reminded her of her parents. The night after the day they had died, she had looked up at the stars and she could have sworn she saw their faces reflected in the shape of the stars.

But it was an illusion. Just like hope was.

"Haley?" he said, softly as he walked up to her. She turned away from the skies and looked at him.

"They said we can go" he said, standing in front of her.

Haley nodded mutely. She stood up, all the while looking down at the floor unable to meet his gaze. He had been subtly ignoring her the whole day and she was hurt but unsurprised by this change of events.

"I'll walk you home" he said, softly.

She looked at him and nodded once again. But the tears still came down and she was unable to stop them.

"Oh, Bugs" he said, pulling her into a hug. 'Why are you crying?" he whispered against her ear.

"Sorry" she whispered. "It's just... I miss my parents. I'm sorry. You d-... You don't need this right now".

She pulled away, laughing nervously. He didn't say anything, he just watched her with concern. Their eyes connected but they didn't say anything.

"Haley..." he cleared his throat. He needed to do this now, needed to tell her that he loved her. The narrow escape they had had...If he had died, she would never had known. "I-..".

"Mr. Scott" a voice called out from behind him. Nathan turned around too see one of the senior cops on the investigation walking over to them.

"Yes?" Nathan asked, grabbing Haley's hand and tightening his grip on it. 

"I'm sorry but Mr.Keller has just died on the operating table".

Nathan looked into space, for a moment numb. Then, a strong emotion took hold of him.

Nathan's grip on Haley's hand loosened, then he let go of it. He couldn't let her touch a murderer.


	39. Finishing Where We Left Of

He walked her home in silence. The conversation they were supposed to have was left unspoken. Their minds were too wrapped around the sheer horror of the situation they had encountered earlier in the day.

Haley looked down at their feet as they walked. Her small steps compared to his large faster ones would have made it hard for them to walk side by side but he slowed his pace just like he always did when they walked together.

Suddenly, his feet stopped moving. She looked up and realized that they had reached her house.

"So, thanks for walking me back" she said, not meeting his eyes.

He nodded mutely then turned away to leave.

"Nathan...wait" she called out.

He stopped walking but he didn't turn around. His back faced her which unnerved her but she had to say it.

"I'm sorry" she said, softly.

"For what, Haley?" he said, looking up at the sky, still not facing her.

"Everything".

He sighed and turned around. The look in his eyes scared her a bit. It was like he had given up on happiness.

"I- made a mistake. I was... I was scared" she blurted out.

"Of what?" he asked, looking at the stars again. _If only wishes came true_ he thought, spotting a shooting star.

"You... Me..." she shrugged. "Us".

"I didn't know there was an us" he said, blankly.

She cringed. But she knew she deserved it.

"Nathan" she tried again. "When I left, we were only kids. But it hurt so much to leave you. And I guess I didn't want that pain again".

"What do you want, Hales?" he asked with no feeing in his voice.

"I want you, Nate".

He stopped looking up at the skies and finally looked her in the eye.

"I can't..."he said, throwing his hands up in the air."I can't do this Hales! Not now!".

"Why not, Nathan?" she asked softly. 

"Why not?! Why not?" he shouted. "Someone died today. Because of me, Hales! Someone died because of me". He looked like a lost little boy with nowhere to go.

"It's not your fault" she started.

"Yes it is. If I hadn't given him the car..." he said, helplessly. "I would have died instead".

"Nathan, don't..."

"I wish I had died instead" he said, his eyes filled with emptiness.

And with that, he turned around and walked away.

-----------------

The car ride to the funeral was awkward and filled with silence. Nathan was driving with Lucas at the front. Behind Nathan was Brooke and sitting next to her was Haley. Jake and Peyton sat next to each other at the back.

No one was talking. The silence between them was unbearable but still no one said anything.

Haley leaned her forehead against the window pane and closed her eyes shut. Between the angry glances Brooke kept giving Lucas and the empty glances Nathan kept giving everyone, she was worn out.

At long last they reached the cementary. They got out of the mini van and made their way to the small group that stood near the edge of the ceremony.

"There is nothing I could say to underscore the grief that each of us feel as we lay our brother Chris to rest" the priest was saying as he stood in front of the big black coffin that lay a few feet underground. "But hopefully these words would help you deal with the grief and help you each find your way".

The priest opened his little black book and recited "Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them".

Haley drifted away from the small sad group. She turned around and walked away. Nathan watched her go but he didn't say anything.

She walked until she reached the other end of the cemetery. A little stream gurgled near two solitary tomb stones which were surrounded by little flowers.

"Hey, Mom. Dad" she said, softly, kneeling next to the two little tombstones. All that was left of her parents were these two rocks that stood in the ground. Their bodies were never recovered from the car crash that they had lost their lives in.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here in awhile" she said. "It's been hard".

She looked away for a moment, biting her lip. Then she turned back towards the tombstones.

"I miss you guys" she said, let out a little sob. She gave a little watery smile. "So much".

Unable to hold it back, she started sobbing again until she felt her heart would break.

----------------

Chris's father grabbed a handful of sand in his hand and threw it in the deep hole where his son was buried. Mr. Keller, a tall imposing figure was suddenly a broken man. The people around him, his family, his son's friends all walked away, no one to comfort him. Why should they? He was the one who had driven everyone he loved away.

"Mr. Keller" a voice called out behind him. Mr. Keller turned around to face a dark haired kid looking at him with anticipation.

He brushed away a solitary tear and said "what can I do for you, son?"

Nathan bit his lip nervously then said "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am".

Mr. Keller nodded and looked down. But Nathan wasn't finished yet.

"It's my fault" he blurted out. Mr. Keller looked up sharply. "Your son's death".

"What makes you say that?" he asked, staring at the kid that stood before him.

"It was my car... The one your son died in" Nathan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Mr. Keller sighed and walked away, a somber figure in his dark black suit. He was a big man who always stood up straight but now, he hunched when he walked.

Nathan looked after him, wondering what to do. After a moment, he followed the older man. He jogged up to catch up with him and as soon as he did, Mr. Keller stopped walking. Nathan looked up at him, wondering if he was going to get scolded. But then, Mr. Keller walked past Nathan and sat down on one of the wooden benches that were placed all over the cemetery. He patted the seat next to him and Nathan took a hint and sat down.

The two strangers kept silent for a moment, finding strange comfort in one another.

"You see that big tree over there?" Mr. Keller spoke up, pointing. "My wife's buried underneath that tree".

Nathan looked up at him and said sadly "I'm sorry".

"It was a long time ago. But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't come out here and visit her" Mr. Keller looked back at the direction that he had come from. "Now, I have two reasons to come here".

Nathan opened his mouth to speak than realized that there was nothing he could say to help the older man. The silence between them stretched as the two of them were lost in their thoughts.

"I'm sorry I killed your son" Nathan blurted out.

Mr. Keller's gruff chuckle surprised him for a moment.

"It's not your fault, son" he said, the tears coming down his old wrinkled face. He brushed them away before saying "It's most probably mine".

Nathan looked at him, wondering what he meant.

"All my life... I have pushed people away. Kept them at arm's length" Mr. Keller said. "Then I met my wife and I finally let someone in".

For a moment, he couldn't go on. He stifled a sob and buried his head in his hands, trying to control his emotions. Nathan put his hand on his shoulder awkwardly.

"When she died, I was a broken man. It took me a long time to get over the grief that invaded me but finally I did. Because of my son" he said, lifting up his head from his hands. "He helped me move on. And although I never completely let go, I finally accepted it... her death".

Nathan nodded and removed his hand from the older man's shoulder.

"And I detached myself from everyone again. I- I stopped caring, I stopped spending time with anyone even my son. I just worked, spent hours in a cold empty office and the constant ticking of an old grandfather clock as my only companion".

"Years later look at me" Mr. Keller said, his cheeks still wet with his tears. "I'm worth easily ten million dollars and I have lost the only two people I loved".

Nathan suddenly understood, that in some unconscious level, this broken man was letting go of his grieve by talking to a stranger.

"Do me a favor, son" Mr. Keller said. "Don't make the same mistakes I did".

And with that, he stood up and walked away, an imposing figure, a man who along the way had gained millions of dollars but had lost his soul. And that, was the biggest lost of them all.

-----------------

"Haley!" someone shouted from the distance. Haley lifted up her head and wiped her tears. "Haley!"

Haley looked at the tombstones before saying "Goodbye Mom...Dad". She stood up and brushed the dirt of her pants.

Walking away, she suddenly stopped and turned around to give the two small rocks one last look. Suddenly she walked over to a big patch of flowers that lay near the stream. Bending down, she picked up the flowers and walked over to the tombstones.

She placed a few on each small rock before raising her fingers to her lips. She placed her fingers to the top of each tombstone while closing her eyes shut.

"Goodbye" she said, softly.

Then she turned away and ran off to the direction of the voice.

Walking towards the minivan, she saw Nathan and Lucas already sitting in it. Brooke, Peyton and Jake waited outside the van, shouting her name.

"I'm here" she yelled, running towards them.

They smiled upon seeing her and got into the car. After a moment, Haley reached the van and got in after Brooke.

Amidst their journey back, Haley found herself staring at the rear view mirror and saw Nathan's face reflected there. Their eyes connected for a moment before he looked straight at the road again.

---------------

"I'm coming!" Haley yelled as she ran towards the front door. She wondered who it would be at this time of night. The constant knocking finally stopped as she pulled open the front door.

She looked at the person before her in surprise.

"Hey" he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Hey" she said, softly.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked, nervously.

She looked at him with confused before saying "okay".

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Haley's mind was racing and so was her heart. But she didn't want to break the soothing silence between them. Moments like this, she could look up the sky and pretend that everything was going to be all right.

Suddenly she noticed that he had stopped walking. She glanced at him to find him staring at her back. They stood there, at the docks just staring at each other, not saying a thing.

He suddenly stuck out his hand for her to hold.

"What's going on, Nathan?" she asked, as she grabbed his hand. He grinned at her before walking over to a big tree that looked very familiar.

He turned to face her once they stood beneath the tree. He suddenly pulled her towards him and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"We're finishing where we left off" he said, looking around at their surroundings.

She looked around too and noticed that it was the exact same spot that they had stood so many weeks ago. The same spot they had kissed just moments before Lucas came running to them and told her that something was wrong with her Uncle Keith.

She turned to face Nathan again and smiled at him. She leaned closer and placed her hand on his face. Her hand went around his neck as their lips touched.

And they kissed. And suddenly Haley knew that maybe, just maybe everything was going to be all right.

After all, all her dreams just came true.


	40. Hear You Me

**Hey, I decided to divide this chapter into two. I agree, it was a bit odd to have Brooke and Mouth with Naley.**

**Anyway, I wrote this chapter while listening to Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, so it would be awesome if you guys could go to youtube and listen to it while reading this. Anyway, enjoy!**

The silence of the night was broken by the sound of the waves crashing into one another. The slight breeze that was blowing gently rustled up the leaves on the ground making them spin in a slow circle. The River court, always used for basketball was now used for an entirely different reason. The stillness it prevailed provided a hopeful feeling that childhood dreams do come through.

_Always and Forever, Haley James?_

The moonlight provided the only source of light, its glow illuminating the two figures swaying gently, their arms wrapped around each other. 

_Never let me go, Nathan_.

She leaned her head against his chest and tightened her hold on him. The familiar feel of his arms around her, almost forgotten. Almost lost.

_I won't Hales_

He gently removed his hand from around her waist and brought it up to her hand which was wrapped around his neck. He took one of her hands gently in his. She looked up at him questionly. He smiled and laced their fingers together. She smiled back and leaned her head against his chest again. She gently moved her other hand, the one still wrapped around his neck to his shoulder.

_I'm slipping, Nathan!_

The night grew silent as the air became still. The moon reliable until then hid behind some clouds, leaving the night in its darkness. But still they danced.

_I got you, hold on tight!_

He suddenly broke away from her. She looked up at him, scared for a moment.

_Don't let me fall!_

He grinned, held onto her right hand then twirled her around. She laughed softly at his spur of the moment decision. He placed his free hand under her back and dropped her down while supporting her. She continued laughing as he brought her up again.

_I won't_

They stared at each other lovingly for a moment before his expression turned serious. He placed his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face up. She leaned up and kissed him on the lips.

_Promise me, Naty?_

He kissed her back.

_I promise_


	41. My Little One, My Only One

**I'm sorry, I just remembered, the italic words in the earlier chapter is actually their thoughts and also things they said to each other when they were kids. Anyway, enjoy!**

Brooke leaned her back against the tree, trying to make herself more comfortable. She looked around her, at the beautiful flowers that the gardeners had planted, at the huge fountain that the builders had built and at the huge house that her parents had bought.

Then she looked at the grey sky, bleak in comparison to the bright flowers. But somehow the flowers, the house, her life seemed emptier than the cloudless sky above her.

If she could, she would lose herself in the emptiness of her soul and never escape. Because at least then she would be free.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest. She felt cold, and it had nothing to do with the climate. She tried warming herself up but how do you warm an empty heart?

How do you deal with losing someone you love? Does the pain go away? Does a broken heart heal like a broken arm? Or does it stay, to haunt you forever? Do you still feel the pain after you think time had healed it? Is it like a scar in your heart, always there to remind you to never open it again?

_I loved you. Did you love me too? I guess not. Because how could you hurt someone you love?_

She leaned her head against her knee, burying it. The tears rolled down silently until she couldn't hold them in any longer.  
She lifted her head and held her hands over her face, wiping her tears as they fell. She choked back a sob as she struggled to take a deep breathe. But she was fighting a losing battle. After awhile, she gave up and cried softly to herself.

_How could you?_

---------

"Brooke!" he shouted from somewhere behind her.

Brooke raised her head and hastened to wipe her tears. She grabbed the neck of her sweater and tried to pull it to her face to dry it off but Zara sweaters weren't made stretchable.

She stood up on her feet and turned around to the direction of the voice. "I-I'm here" she said loudly, trying to sound more sure of herself.

He looked at her direction and smiled. He jogged up to her, grinning like he always did when he saw her. His smile faded as he got closer. One look at her and he knew that she had been crying.

"Oh, little one" he murmured as he walked up to her and swept her in his arms.

She clutched him tightly, holding back the tears. They stood there for a moment as she struggled to put a hold on her emotions.

"I'm fine" she said, pulling away from him. She wiped a few stray tears away from her cheeks. "Thanks Mouth".

Mouth looked at her, not believing her. After all, they had been friends since the first grade. He knew her better than anyone else in the world. And he definitely knew when she was lying.

"I'm sorry about Lucas" he said, cautiously. She stiffened when she heard his name.

"You heard about that?" she said, not looking at him in the eye.

"Yeah. I'm just surprised you didn't tell me yourself" he said, slightly hurt.

"I wanted to... I just didn't because I knew you were friends with him and I didn't want to ruin your friendship" Brooke said, looking at her feet. She hesitated before continuing "Also, I was scared you might pick him over me".

His laugh made her look up sharply. "Come on! As if I would pick anyone in the world over you" he said, chuckling. He wrapped his arm over her shoulders and guided to her to the back door of her house.

She leaned against him, feeling safe for the first time since that dreaded Friday. "So, who told you?"?

"Hmm?" he said, looking at her questionly.

"About Lucas cheating on me. Who told you?" she asked, turning her face to the left so she could look at him.

It was his turn to look down. He coughed nervously as he removed his arm from her shoulder and walked faster. She quickened her pace to keep up with him.

"It was her, right?" she demanded, walking in front of him and stopping him from escaping. She turned around to face him and put her hands on her hips. "She told you, right?".

"Brooke, Rachel said she was sorry" Mouth started before Brooke cut him off.

"Oh, she's sorry, is she?" Brooke said, sarcastically. "That makes me feel better. She ruined my life!" she shouted before turning around and walking away. She couldn't help it. It was bad enough when Rachel started hanging out with Mouth but she couldn't bear to see Mouth defend her.

"Brooke! Wait!" Mouth yelled, grabbing her arm.

"I can't believe you!" Brooke shouted, tears streaming down her face. "You're friends with the same person who made me like this" she said, her eyes red from excessive crying.

She jerked her arm away from his grip. Surprisingly, he released his hold on her, which made her stumble a few feet back but she regained her balance. She looked at him, slightly surprise that he gave in so easily.

"You think I'm still friends with her?" he asked, coolly. For a moment, his eyes portrayed the hurt that he felt when he realized just how little she trusted him but then an empty look soon filled them up. 

"Yo-You're not?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Do you think I'll do that to you?" he asked. He was hurt that she had that little faith in him but he retained his cool demeanor. 

"No" she said, softly. She shrugged helplessly before continuing "I'm sorry. I-I just haven't been myself".

He walked up to her, his expression unreadable. Then he smiled softly and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. Her bottom lip trembled dangerously as she took a deep breathe steadying herself.

"I'm sorry, little one" he muttered, unsure if he should hug her or not. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"It's not your fault" she said, quietly into his shoulder as she hugged him back.

He looked at her figure in his arms and wondered if it was the correct time to tell her that he was in love with her.


	42. I Believe In A Place Called Heaven

**Thanks so much for the reviews. Just wanted to tell you guys, I'm not giving away the other pairings, let it be a surprise! So, enjoy this one!**

Haley smiled to herself as she walked up her porch stairs. She glanced at her watch. It was 7am and Nathan had just walked her home after they had spent the whole night together in the River Court.

She turned around and waved at Nathan who was parked at the edge of her driveway. He grinned at her then drove away. She waited until he was out of sight then she jumped up and down while squealing.

Feeling too wired up to sleep, she walked over to her porch swing and lay down. She rested her head on the armrest and picked up the gold locket that was wrapped around her neck. She opened the locket and ran a finger lightly down the picture inside. It was a picture of her and Nathan when they were kids.

She shut the locket at the same time she closed her eyes. If she had one wish, just one...she would have stopped time. Stop it so she could enjoy the present without worrying about the future.

She opened her eyes and looked up at the sky. The sky was just turning light, creating that peaceful dawn feeling that everyone loved but was too sleepy to enjoy it. That dawn feeling where time did feel like it stood still. Not forever, but maybe just for the moment.

A bird flew in the sky, interrupting the beautiful stillness of the morning. She stared at the bird, following its movement as it flew higher and higher. And it would fly high until the heavens it would reach.

But to Haley, heaven was described as something else. Her desires, her loves, the place she felt she truly belonged took the form of a person...and that person was Nathan Scott. 

-----------------

Nathan Scott parked the car in his driveway and got out of it. He walked to his front door before he realized that he was grinning like a fool. He tried to keep the smile off his face but he couldn't, it was stuck there just like his love for her was permanently stuck in his heart.

He bounded up the stairs with a spring in his step. He looked at his watch. 7. 15 Am. School started in nearly an hour. Even the prospect of another day of torture in that place could not dampen his spirits. After all, another excuse to see Haley.

He realized that he had more than enough time. He walked to his room, looking for ideas. He wanted to do something nice for Haley at school today. After that, he would ask her on their first date.

He grinned to himself, still unable to wipe the smile of his face. He was just about to grab a photo album of the two of them as kids when he suddenly heard a loud noise in his parent's room.

Curious, he walked out of the room and headed down the hall to the direction of his parent's bedroom. When he had reached the closed door, he hesitated for a moment. Knowing his parents, you never knew what you're gotta prepare for.

He took a deep breathe and pushed open the door quickly.

"Nathan!" his mom half yelled, half shrieked. She stopped throwing clothes into her suitcase and clutched her chest for a moment. "You just added 20 years to my face".

Nathan pretended he didn't hear her and walked over to the bed where her suitcase lay. He glanced at the nearly full case and at the two other cases lying on the ground.

"What's this about, mom?" he said his voice tightening as he spoke.

Deb put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's not what you think, honey".

"You're leaving?" he asked, his voice strangely blank.

"Okay, it's exactly what you think" Deb said, wiping her sweaty palms on the side of her pants. People always give a way things when they lie. Sometimes they pull their earlobes or play with their hands, for Deb her hands start sweating even before she started lying.

"Honey" she started.

"You're leaving me?" Nathan said his voice and his eyes still blank.

"It's not like that" she reassured him. "I could never leave you. I'm just...going away for awhile. I need some space" she said. She couldn't look at her son for her heart pained to see him in pain.

"Is this because of Dad?" he said, looking down.

Deb didn't say anything; she returned her attention to her suitcase and hastily put a few items in it.

"Let's just say there are some things I've done that I'm not proud of" she finally said.

Nathan's face suddenly tightened. His eyes blazed with anger as he looked at his 'mother'. "I'm your son! You-You're supposed to be there for me!" he yelled, lifting his hands up in anger. He suddenly dropped them helplessly as his eyes filled with sadness. "You're supposed to be here for me".

"Nathan" Deb said, reaching her hand out to her son.

Nathan backed a few feet back. "But you never were" he said, his eyes never leaving her face. "And you never are going to be" he said quietly before turning around and walking away. He turned to look at her one last time "Bye Mom".

**So, what do you guys think? Think she'll get caught? Do you want her to get caught? Please review!**


	43. Call It Love, Call Me Crazy

"Where's your head at, Brooke?" Mouth asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes as he kept most of his concentration on the road.

"Me?" Brooke said, laughing. "I'm all over the place. I'm actually wondering how I let you talk me into coming to school today" she teased.

"You always said I had a knack for persuading people" he laughed.

"Yeah, but I never said it was a good thing" she said before her tone turned serious. "But to be honest, I was actually thinking about my parents".

Mouth's hands tightened on the steering wheel. He hated Brooke's parents for treating her the way they did. Birthdays went by forgotten, special holidays were spent apart and for the better part of her life, they remained indifferent to her existence except to send cash every once in awhile.

"What about them?" he asked in what he hoped was a neutral tone.

"Well, I'm just saying that ever since they" Brooke hesitated as she tried to think of another word besides 'abandoned'. "left me to fend for myself, I've been pretty responsible. I don't mean finishing my homework and going to sleep at nine. I mean the little things like only going to parties with parental supervision and not drinking and... stuff like that" she glanced at him before continuing sadly "I guess I just want them to be proud of me but I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of waiting for them to love me back".

"Brooke" Mouth started before she cut him off.

"But, no more Mouth" she said, firmly, her eyes no longer glistening with tears. "From now on, I'm going to walk the other way".

-------------------------------

Haley saw him before he saw her. She quickly smoothed her hand over her hair and wiped a smudge of lipstick from the side of her mouth nervously. She looked down at her outfit, making sure that it wasn't all wrinkled then turned her attention back to him.

He was walking towards her direction but she was sure that he hadn't seen her yet. He was looking at the floor as he walked, his hands wrapped around the slings on his bag lost in thought.

He suddenly looked up as if he realized that he was being watched. Haley quickly looked the other way, trying not to get caught. To her horror, a blush came across her cheeks and she hid her head in her locker to hide her embarrassment.

Nathan grinned, his earlier disappointment immediately evaporated at the sight of the girl he loved so much. He stopped walking a few feet away from her and stared at her as she hastily stuffed a few books into her locker, not realizing that he was standing so close.

She leaned her head against her open locker door, praying that she hadn't embarrassed herself too much. She turned around and came face to face with Nathan.

"Nathan!" she said, surprised. Her heart started beating like mad and it wasn't because she had nearly whacked into him. "I mean... uh, hi" she said, weakly, melting at the sight of his dark blue eyes. They were standing very close but neither of them backed away.

Nathan looked at her intently before turning his attention to his sneakers, suddenly nervous.

"Would you...um. I mean are you busy tonight?" he asked, still looking at the floor, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Haley blushed again. "I'd love to! I mean, no, i'm not busy, not at all. Tonight, completely free. Nothing at all to do" she stammered, laughing nervously.

"Would you wanna maybe do something?" he asked, grinning when he realized that she was just as nervous as he was.

"I would love to do something" she said, before realizing how lame that sounded. "You do mean with you, right? Or like a group thing? I mean I would love..." she stammered before he cut her off by brushing his lips against hers softly.

He pulled away regrettably from her when the bell rang. He looked at her, her eyes closed from the kiss, her wavy hair blocking her face and his eyes filled with his love for her.

He leaned in to whisper into her ear "I do mean with you. I just found you again so you're not getting away that easily". He grinned at her as she opened her eyes then he walked away, already late for his class which was in the other side of the building whereas hers was just down the hallway.

She stared at him, her cheeks flaming red, her finger to her lips which were still tingling from the kiss.

"Ahem, Miss James" Haley's Geography teacher, Mrs.Forent's sarcastic voice rang out. "Are you going to join us anytime today?"

Haley turned to face her teacher and grinned brightly.

"Sure, Mrs.Forent" she said, cheerfully, practically skipping to the classroom much to the amazement of her teacher.

"And I thought teenagers hated Mondays" Mrs.Forent muttered under her breathe.

---------------------

Thousands of miles away, a familiar man stood in the shadows awaiting patiently for the results. He nervously cracked his knuckles as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He glanced out the window, praying that the sky would light up and brightened up the room. The dim light produced by the desk lamp in the corner intensified the gloomy feeling hanging in the air.

Another man came into the room, this one unfamiliar, wearing a white lab coat and carrying a folder in his hands. You could tell he was old from the slowing gait of his walk to his white hair.

"Thanks for waiting" the unfamiliar man said, sitting in his desk. "Would you like to sit down, Keith?".

Keith walked out of the shadows. He slowly went to the chair in front of the desk and sat down, his weariness intensifying with every step.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do" the doctor said, gently.

Keith nodded and bowed his head.

**So, what do guys think of the latest chapter? And I would love for some comments on ways to improve the story**


	44. The Moment The Music Died

Peyton saw him sitting on the bench table, his elbows leaning against his knees and his head bent low, a basketball lying on the ground near his feet. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and slowly walked up to him. He didn't see her nor did he hear the crunching sound of the grass as she trampled over it.

"Skipping school?" she asked as she stopped in front of him. She squinted a little in the glare of the sun.

Lucas slowly raised his head and stared at her blankly for a moment. Then he blinked, like he was suddenly aware of her presence and glanced at his watch.

"Damn it, first period already started" he groaned.

"Not your day?" she asked, slightly amused by his annoyance at missing first period. She on the other hand was more than happy to miss the entire day of school.

Lucas laughed despite himself. "Not, not really". He looked at her curiously before asking "You skipping?".

"No, my mom borrowed my car to work because hers broke down so I have to walk to school" she shrugged. "I was planning on skipping the first lesson anyway. No way I'll make it in time". Her expression turned serious and her eyes darkened as she continued "I was walking past the River Court when I saw you here so I thought we could walk to school together. There are some things we need to discuss".

Lucas looked down like he was suddenly ashamed.

Peyton noticed the look on his face and said "Come on" before turning around and walking away.

Lucas stood up, grabbed his basketball and raced to catch up with her. His head was jumbled up with emotions and it was too early in the morning for him to comprehend what he was actually feeling. But if he did, then he would realize that he was filled with anticipation about the walk he was about to take. And it might have been for the wrong reasons.

They walked in silence, two strangers linked only by that one person they both cared deeply about.

"So, why did you do it?" she asked, breaking the calm stillness between them. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye as they walked on.

Lucas shrugged. "I can't answer that, Peyton. I have no idea why I did it. It was a spur of the moment thing". He hesitated before continuing "It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything".

"A kiss always means something, Lucas" Peyton said softly. She sighed as she glanced up at the murder of ravens flying up high in the sky. It reminded her of her cheerleading squad, the first time she joined it. It reminded her of back when things were simpler. She laughed nervously before saying "Nice weekend, huh?".

He laughed before saying "Makes you look forward to school".

They walked in silence for a few minutes, surprisingly at ease in each other's company. The best friend, and the ex-boyfriend who cheated on her.

"So, what's up with you and Jake?" Lucas asked, taking a quick glance at her before returning his attention to the sidewalk in front of him.

Peyton blushed and nervously coughed behind her hand as she tried to cover up her nervousness. "Um, it's kind of a long story".

"Well, it's kind of a long walk" he replied, gesturing in front of him. "Unless it's a secret".

"No" she said quickly. "It's not a secret". She caught him staring at her with an expectant look on his face and sighed. "Fine, you asked for it".

"I did" he said, with a grin on his face.

"Well, do you remember that huge party Damien West threw at the end of school year last term?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Yeah" he said, slowly.

"Well, Jake and I went together. As friends" she added quickly. "We've been really good friends for as long as I can remember".

"I know. You guys were practically joined at the hip" he said, which made her smile, her eyes filled with memories of the past.

She blinked then continued "He was supposed to leave the next day on vacation with his parents to Savannah I think, so we tried to hang out as much as possible to squeeze three months of each others company into that one night".

Her eyes suddenly glazed over as she was transported to the night where everything changed and to the moment when her hope was reborn.

Flashback

"Hey you" Jake said, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I've been looking for you".

Her heart skipped a beat at his words and she smiled back at him. She had had a crush on him since she was fifteen but he had always treated her like a little sister instead of a potential girlfriend.

So she had buried that feeling deep in her heart and tried to act like he wasn't the first person she thought about when the sun rose and the only person she dreamed about late at night where the only one who knew of her silent hope was the night owls and the stars that give us faith.

"I was hanging out with Brooke and a bunch of the other cheerleaders in the living room. Where have you been?" she asked, keeping her voice nonchalant.

He let out a little chuckle then hiccupped. "Kitchen" he said, raising an empty plastic cup in front of her. "You're so pretty, Peyton. Like a... a duck!" he said, and burst out laughing.

"Oh, Jake" she said, shaking her head. "You're drunk".

"Like a skunk!" he exclaimed and went into another fit of giggles.

"Come on, let me take you home" she said, grabbing his arm and leading him out of the crowded room. The music had picked up and most people were on the dance floor and those who weren't were passed out near the dance floor. Peyton spotted Brooke dancing in the middle of the group of people so she thought it would be safe to just sneak out.

Peyton pulled a suddenly active Jake out of the house with great difficulty. She had to stop and catch her breathe once outside in the silence of the night.

"Boy, Jake, you're a tough drunk to take care of" she muttered, placing her hand on his shoulder to stop him from jumping up and down. He whacked into her arm and sent her spiraling on the ground.

"Oh my God, Peyt!" he exclaimed, no longer laughing. "I'm so sorry" he ran to her and kneeled next to her.

"I'm fine" she smiled at him, glad to see a glimmer of the Jake she loved. She reached out her hand and grabbed his outstretched arm and pulled herself up. "But you're still drunk  
so you're going home, buddy".

He nodded meekly, his eyes revealing limited emotions from the effect of the alcohol. He followed her as she walked over to her car and got in. He looked outside as she pulled the car out of the driveway and caught a glance of the moon shining its moonbeams on the darkness. He smiled, his brain not completely affected by hard liquor. Even drunk, he could tell that he was the darkness and his Peyton was the moonbeams.

The entire drive home was spent in silence, with light music playing on the radio, a complete different scene from the party with the crowded living room filled with hard metal blasting from the stereos. She stopped the car when she reached his dark empty house.

They sat there in silence in front of the house. Jake was trying to think clearly but all he could do was clamp his mouth shut to keep him from laughing. He couldn't laugh, not then. He thought about leaving her for the next three months and he didn't have to clamp his mouth shut anymore.

Peyton quickly wiped a tear from her cheeks before he could see. Then she swallowed the lump in her throat and said "So, um, take care okay, Jake?". She reached over and pulled him closer to her. He hugged her back tightly.

She pulled away and nervously giggled. Without hesitating, Jake leaned in and kissed her on her lips. She went into shock for a moment then she kissed him back, her love for him evident in her ardent response.

They pulled away after a bit and stared at each other, unsure of what to do. Peyton's heart was beating very fast and her lips still tingled from the kiss.

Jake grinned and pushed the car door open. He gave her one last look before slipping out of the car and slamming the door shut. Then he walked drunkenly to his front door, singing at the top of his voice 'Truly Madly Deeply' out of tune.

Peyton stared at him in shock then she started laughing until she couldn't breathe. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gasped for air.

It was only later did she realize that he was drunk when he kissed her and unsure of his actions. It was only then did she realize that there may be no way back for them. It was only then did her heart break.

End Of Flashback

Hey guys I am sorry for the late update. Thanks everybody for the reviews. sorry but you guys have to be patient with me about Haley's secret. I will give you clues from time to time. But if you guys are really desperate later on, let me know, and I'll send you a private message about her secret but I won't make it public yet.

This chapter was basically an insight on Peyton and Lucas about how they feel about their loved ones. I decided to let Peyton keep her mom as Haley and Lucas are both motherless.

I actually have the next two chapters up and ready so as soon as I get enough reviews I will update it.

So, whatcha guys think?


	45. I Hope I Don't Wake Up

Hey guys thank you so much for the reviews! I will send you guys a message about her secret in a few more chapters after I give out some clues because I want to explain a few more stuff. So, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

Haley scanned the cabinets, found the drawer she was looking for and yanked it open. She slipped a piece of paper in, all the while humming to herself.

"Wow, dawg, that's the first time I ever see someone enjoy filing" a voice rang out behind her.

Haley turned around to see Skills standing behind her, a basketball in his arms.

"You know Skills, you never cease to amaze me with your many talents" Haley grinned gesturing at the basketball.

"Don't ya change the subject on me, I invented that move. Now, you gonna tell me who got you all smiling, James?" Skills asked. Then he pointed a finger at her. "It's that boy, isn't it?".

Haley blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about".

Skills waved his hand in front of him impatiently. "Whatever man. I've seen the two of you during your tutoring session!".  
Skills changed his tone of voice into a high girly voice. "You're supposed to multiply by five and.. You know what, it doesn't matter because you're so fine. Can I touch your biceps, Mr. Hot Shot Basketballer?".

Haley laughed. "I don't sound like that, do I?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Unfortunately shorty. You don't" Skills grinned at her before placing a hand on her shoulder. "You deserve to be happy, James. So, you do your thing".

Haley put her hand above his and squeezed it. "Thanks, Skills".

--------------

"Hey you!" Mouth yelled as he spotted her walking down the hallway.

Brooke turned around and grinned when she saw Mouth walking toward him.

"Hey back at you" she said, putting her arm around his shoulders.

"SO, you want a ride home?" Mouth asked.

Brooke shook her head. "Thanks but I'm supposed to help Haley get dressed for her big date with Nathan".

Mouth slowly nodded then said "well, I got to go. Take care little one" before walking away from her to the school's front doors.

Brooke watched him go. Suddenly he turned around and looked at her concernedly "are you okay, Brooke?".

Brooke smiled. "I'm actually fine. His loss right".

Mouth nodded solemnly before saying softly "definitely".

---------------------

"Haley! Stop squirming!" Brooke yelled as she struggled to keep her hold on her hair.

Haley stop fidgeting and tried to sit straight. But after years of being best friends with a boy and then living in the Amazon, girly things like doing your hair was new to her. Hell, sitting still was hard enough, she had to do it while someone was yanking her.

Peyton chose that moment to walk in, her hand clutching a dress bag. Her mouth widened into a smile when she saw an agitated Brooke clutching the hair of a frustrated Haley.

"If you dare laugh..." Haley threatened.

But it was too late. Peyton burst out laughing, nearly dropping the dress bag in the process.

"How is this funny?" Haley asked Peyton who had to sit down on the bed to catch her breath.

"How is it not?" Peyton said, grinning. "If you think this is bad, should have seen her on the day of our first school dance. She was so nervous, she actually puked".

Brooke chose to ignore the two of them as she twisted Haley's hair even more. Haley yelled in pain as Peyton started laughing again.

But in the end, Haley had to admit that all the torture was worth it. Her hair actually looked good and combined with the makeup Brooke applied earlier, she hardly recognized herself.

"I clean up pretty well, don't I, Amazon Girl?" Brooke said, smugly, staring at her awesome creation.

"Wow, Brooke. I- I don't know how to thank you" Haley said.

"Don't thank her yet" Peyton warned her. "You haven't tried on the dress".

Haley grabbed the dress and quickly ran into the bathroom to change. Brooke meanwhile sat on Haley's bed, flipping through a magazine lazily as she was exhausted by the day's work. Peyton, however finished cleaning up the mess Brooke had made while preparing Haley for her date with Nathan.

"Hey, I forgot to ask you earlier" Brooke said, suddenly without looking up from her magazine. "How come you skipped first period today? You should have called then we could have hung out together".

Peyton's heart started beating very fast. She hid her nervousness by slowing screwing the caps of the nail polish Brooke had used earlier. She couldn't actually tell Brooke that she had hung out with Lucas earlier, even if it was only a walk to school. Brooke wouldn't understand her reasoning and  
would see it as a sign of betrayal.

"I actually woke up late" Peyton lied, nervously chewing her lip. "Made it just in time for health".

Brooke looked up from her magazine and said "oh, cool" then returned her attention to the article about the latest scandal going on in the Hollywood world. 

Peyton stared at her best friend, the feeling of guilt still in her heart. She had meant well when she talked to Lucas, she just wanted to help her friend but somehow her conversation with Lucas had been more for her gain than Brooke's and that made her feel guilty.

"What do you think?" Haley's voice rang out from the bathroom door, interrupting Peyton from her thought. 

Peyton and Brooke both turned to look and gasped. Haley was wearing a strapless knee length yellow dress that brought out the natural highlights of her hair and the curves of her body. The dress had a tight bodice and flared out slightly along the skirt.

"Wow, Amazon Girl you look awesome" Brooke said, before a gleam entered her eye. "You know if this thing with Nathan doesn't work out, I know half a dozen guys who'd love to have your phone number".

Haley glanced at her reflection in the mirror before saying "thanks, Brooke. But I'm not interested".

"Okay, just saying later on" Brooke said, shrugging.

"I don't think there's going to be a later" Haley said, blushing. 

Brooke and Peyton exchanged a knowing glance before grinning evilly.

"Did you hear that, P.Sawyer?" Brooke asked, nudging Peyton in the side.

"I think I did, B.Davis" Peyton said, turning her attention to Brooke. "You know what I think?".

"Enlighten me, Goldilocks?" Brooke asked, facing Peyton.

"I think she loves him" Peyton said in a whisper.

"Oh, brother" Haley muttered, trying to avoid the grin from forming on her face.

She walked out of the room, followed by Brooke and Peyton singing "I think she loves him" over and over again. Brooke and Peyton had made their own dance routine to the tune of their song by the time they reached the top of the stairs.

Suddenly the doorbell rang causing all three of them to freeze.

Haley's date had arrived.

**So, just review and I will try to update the next chapter ASAP.**


	46. Rules Are Rules

**Hey sorry I couldn't upload documents for a while because there was something wrong. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has replied! I was pretty worried about Haley's outfit so I hope you liked it. I wanted to make this chapter longer but I didn't want to mix parts up so I am sorry it's short. More reviews, faster chapters! Here's the next chapter! By the way, I took out the word retard as it was offensive and I apologize**

30 minutes earlier

Nathan stood in front of his floor length mirror while buttoning his shirt. He turned his head to the left to make sure his hair looked okay before turning his attention back to his outfit. He was wearing dark blue pants and a black long sleeved shirt. He frowned as he looked himself over.

He heard a wolf whistle from the doorway of his room.

"You clean up nice" Lucas said, with a teasing note in his voice.

"I do, don't I?" Nathan joked. He turned to face his half-brother. "Honestly man. How do I look?".

Lucas walked over to inspect Nathan. He brushed a loose thread off Nathan's shirt then straightened his collar.

"Perfect" Lucas said after a moment. He turned around and walked over to Nathan's bed and sat down on it. "Nervous?".

"As hell" Nathan said, grabbing his watch from the side table and fastening it on his wrist. He checked himself one last time in the mirror before swinging around to face his brother.

"What?" he asked when he saw the big grin on Lucas's face.

"Nothing" Lucas replied, still grinning. Upon seeing the confused and slightly annoyed look on Nathan's face, he continued "I just have never seen you this nervous before".

Nathan groaned. "That helps".

Lucas laughed. "Just think happy thoughts, Nate. Happy thoughts".

Nathan grinned despite himself. "I don't need to. I've never been happier in my life". He started walking towards the door, having just realized that he was late. He turned around at the doorway of his room. "Hey, Luke?" he said, a hint of sadness in his eyes. Lucas looked at him quizzically. "I'm sorry I'm so happy".

Lucas nodded. "No, problem man" he stood up and embraced his brother. "Go have fun with the girl of your dreams" he said, pulling away from him and giving him a pat on the back.

Nathan grinned and walked away. The girl of his dreams was waiting for him.

---------------

Brooke, Peyton and Nathan sat in the living room of Haley's house in uncomfortable silence.

"She'll be down in a minute" Brooke said, breaking the awkwardness for a moment.

Nathan nodded.

"We've been wanting to talk to you for awhile, Nathan" Peyton said, clasping her hands in her lap as she glanced at Brooke who sat next to her in the oversized couch.

"We understand that you're very fond of our daughter and " Brooke said before being interrupted by Nathan.

"Your daughter?" he asked, grinning.

Brooke raised her hand in front of her face to restore the silence. After a moment, she continued "please do not interrupt me when I am talking, young man. Where was I?".

"You were about to go over the groundrules for Nathan, honey" Peyton said, in a high voice.

"Oh, yeah. I understand that you're very fond of Haley and I just want to verify how special we think she is" Brooke said.

"I know she is, Mr.James. I would never hurt her" Nathan said, playing along.

"Neverless...Neverthe...Nevertheless?" Brooke turned to Peyton and muttered "is that correct?" Peyton nodded and continued "nevertherless, we want to go over the groundrules. Sweetie, do you want to start?".

"First rule: Haley is allergic to the sun so keep her out of it" Peyton lied, playing the role of Mrs.JAmes.

"But it's nighttime" Nathan said, gesturing towards the open window that opened up to the dark skies iluminated by the moon and the billions of stars around.

"So far so good" Brooke said, smiling proudly. "Second rule: Haley hates bats, cups and coffee so if I hear that you brought her anywhere near those three stuff..." she glared at him, punching her right fist into her left palm.

"Third rule: No monkey business" Peyton said, pointing her finger at Nathan's direction.

"Fourth rule: No smoking, taking illegal drugs and the most important of all NO DOUBLE DATES" Brooke continued.

"Okay but why?" Nathan asked, confused.

"My Haley must be the centre of your attention at all times so I don't need another girl at the table for you to be looking at" Brooke warned.

Nathan grinned. "Mr.James I assure you, I have never so much as looked at another girl in my life.

Brooke opened her mouth to say something before she was interrupted by the sound of pattering heels on the wooden floorboard behind her. The three of them turned to face Haley who had just walked in.

The light from the overhead ceiling lights reflected her hair and made her gleam in the darkness of the night. The natural highlights in her hair shined when she shifted her head slightly to the left. Her mouth widened in surprise when she realized that the three of them were staring at her and it made her look vulnerable like a beautiful porcelian doll, unable to touch or be touched.

Brooke let out a low whistle. "And now I know why you never looked at another girl". Peyton nudged her in the ribs. Brooke looked at Peyton who jerked her head towards Nathan.

Nathan was staring at Haley like he had never seen her before. He gulped, realizing that it was the first time in his life he had actually been nervous. He slowly calmed his nerves and walked over to her, grinning.

"Hey, stranger" he said, softly.

"Hey" Haley managed to say back. They stared at each other, lost in the moment.

Brooke couldn't help it, she cleared her throat loudly, breaking them apart.

"Nathan, did you forget rule number five?" she said, shaking her finger in front of her face.

Nathan looked confused again. "There were only four rules".

Peyton and Brooke exchanged a look.

"Well, fifth rule: no staring in her eyes for too long. You might blind her" Peyton said, sternly.

Brooke and Peyton kept a straight look for about a second before they both burst out laughing.

"Good one!" Brooke said, still laughing. "Sixth rule: No holding hands, she might be allergic to your skin".

Peyton clutched her stomach from laughing so hard and continued "Se- Seventh rule: You must not walk together in public".

Brooke stopped laughing and looked at her confused. "Why?".

"Because I don't want people to know that 'our' daughter is dating beneathe her!" Peyton joked, before she started laughing again. Brooke had tears coming out of her eyes but she didn't wipe them, she was too busy laughing.

"Ignore them" Haley muttered. She nudged Nathan and they moved to the doorway.

"Wait!" Brooke called out. "Eighth rule:..." she looked at Peyton. "I'm out of ideas" which made her laugh even more.

Nathan pulled the front door open for Haley, rolling his eyes playfully at Brooke and Peyton behind him. He walked her out the door and they slowly made their way to his car parked at the end of the driveway.

Peyton and Brooke ran to the front door of the house. "Get her back by eleven" Peyton yelled while standing in the open doorway.

"No, wait ten p.m!" Brooke yelled out.

"Nine!" Peyton shouted.

Peyton and Brooke stared at each other before Brooke turned to the retreating couple and yelled "No, wait! Eight pm. Bring her back, she passed her curfew". The two of them burst out laughing again, holding their stomachs as tears rolled down their face.

**You're right! I love reviews! So, please review!**


	47. It's Gonna Be Love

**Hey, I'm sorry it took so long. Exams were going on. Anyway, this has to be my longest chapter yet and I hope you enjoy it. For people who want to know the secret, just say so and every few chapters I will let one person know. So, anyway, enjoy?**

Haley glanced at him from the corner of her eyes and quickly returned her glance back to her hands clasped in her lap. She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a strangled cry.

Nathan looked at her. "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes reflecting his concern.

Haley smiled. "I'm fine" her cheeks blushed red with embarrassment. She took a deep breathe and continued "I-I'm sorry about earlier. The whole Brooke and Peyton thing, they were just...".

Nathan grinned. "Don't worry about it" he shrugged then returned his attention to the road in front of him. "They kinda eased my nerves a bit".

Haley nodded quickly. She turned towards the window, watching the houses and trees pass them by. Without turning around, she smiled and said "You were nervous?'.

It was Nathan's turn to blush in embarrassment. His hands tightened around the wheel as he said sheepishly "yeah, kinda of".

Haley stared at her reflection in the window and realized she was grinning like a loser. She traced imaginary words in the glass of the window and murmured softly "you weren't alone".

Even though she said it quietly, he still heard her and grinned. He continued driving in pleasant silence. He stopped at a red light and glanced at Haley.

She was staring out the window, her hair blowing slightly from the cool air of the air conditioner and for what seemed like the millionth time in his life, he couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She sensed him staring at her and turned in her seat. They stared at each other, their hearts beating fast as their eyes connected.  
_  
__I'm so in love with him_ she thought as she continued looking in his dark blue eyes. Whenever she looked in them, she was reminded of the calm after a raging storm in the deep blue ocean, after the waves had settled and the lost sailors had returned home. And she would try to think about how those lost sailors would feel as they catch a glimpse of their homes, their loved ones running towards them, the image they had carried with them every night at sea.

Hope followed by relief and in the end all that's left is love. And that's how she felt every time she looked at him.

And maybe that's how things would stay, just like her love for him, unbending, unwavering and unforgotten.

The blaring horn behind them broke their eye connection. Haley jumped and Nathan quickly turned his attention back to the road in front of them. As soon as he realized that the traffic light had turned to green, he quickly shifted the gear to drive and pressed his foot onto the acceleration.

A few minutes had passed and Haley was still reeling from their moment together. She bit her lip nervously and broke the silence "pretty wild, huh? Us being like this?".

Nathan laughed nervously but he didn't say anything. If only she knew how he spent every night of the past 8 years dreaming of this moment. He suddenly stopped the car at the side of the road and turned his attention to her.

Haley looked at him quizzically as she glanced around their surroundings. "Are you planning to kill me?" she joked as she looked around at the dark trees and empty street, neither a house nor car to be seen in sight. Even the streetlights seemed dimmer than usual.

Nathan smirked at her, his eyebrows lifting slightly. Haley groaned "No, Nathan. I know that look and the answer is no".

Nathan reached into glove compartment of the car and pulled out a black fabric.

"I told you, I'm not wearing that again" Haley groaned again as she remembered the last time she had to wear that blindfold.

"Oh, come on Bugs. It'll be fun" Nathan said, dangling it in front of her. His smirk stayed on his face as he stared at the girl he loved.

Haley contemplated in for a moment as she stared at him. Then she narrowed her eyes and swiped the blindfold from him. "Fine, I'll wear it for you" she grumbled. She reached around her neck and tied it around her eyes. She was covered in darkness instantly which she hated but she did it for him.

Nathan stared at her as she dropped her hands to her lap right after fastening it around her face. One second later, the blindfold promptly fell off her face again. She let out a sigh of annoyance as she picked it up.

Nathan shook his head, laughing softly to himself. Haley looked at him like he betrayed her but her eyes was filled with amusement.

"Come here" he said, softly, gently taking the blindfold from her. She obeyed him and turned her back to him as she sidled nearer to his seat. He wrapped the blindfold around her eyes and fastened it securely. 

"There" he murmured softly. She suddenly felt goose bumps on her arms at the sound of his voice.

"Thanks" she said, her voice barely audible. Even with her eyes covered, she could tell that he was still watching her. She turned around slowly and faced him. Her breathe was caught in her throat as he leaned in and brushed his lips against her hers softly.

He pulled away after a few moments and murmured against her ear "you're welcome".

Nathan gently pulled Haley out of the car. She swung her head around wildly, as if trying to judge their location telepathically. Her eyes were still bound by the blind fold and when Nathan released his grip on her to shut the car door, she stumbled on a rock and nearly fell.

"Whoa" Nathan said, quickly grabbing her arm. "I got you" he said, softly as he steadied her.

Her heart started beating very loudly in her ribcage as his grip on her arm tightened. She was about to open her mouth and speak when she heard footsteps coming towards them. Nathan let go of her arm as he talked to whoever had approached them. She wished she could hear what they were saying but the two of them were talking in low voices.

After a few minutes of standing still in one spot, too afraid to move, Haley felt Nathan approach her. He gently held her hand and guided her somewhere else. She intertwined their fingers and allowed herself to be led away.

Even with Nathan guiding her, somehow she managed to stumble a few times on the way. It might have had something to do with her lack of grace or maybe Nathan's hand in hers caused her to have no control on her body. After she tripped for the fifth time, Nathan steadied her then let go off her hand. She was overcome with a sense of panic for a moment. Then she felt his arm around her feet and another arm on her back. She laughed as he carried her in his arms bridal-style. Her hands went around his neck as he walked on.

"Nathan, where are we?" Haley asked, as she felt a strong breeze blow in her face. She could hear the sound of people talking in the distance but strangely they were headed in the opposite direction. "Naty, are you planning to kill me?" she asked when he didn't answer.

He laughed softly as he answered "And separate us again?" he said, leaning close to her face. He kissed her softly on her lips then pulled away and whispered in her ear "I'd rather die".

She blushed, hoping he wouldn't see the red spot on her cheeks. Just then Nathan stopped walking and said "I'm going to have to let you go now, Bugs". He gently dropped her on the ground and she released her arms from around his neck. He grabbed her hand once more and pulled her gently down a slight slope. Haley held on to his arm tight, afraid of tripping.

Once they reached flat ground again, Nathan whispered to Haley "Okay, you can take off the blindfold now".

_Thank God_ Haley thought as she unwrapped the black cloth from around her eyes. She looked around and saw Nathan standing in front of her, his hair ruffled slightly by the strong breeze blowing in their direction. She raised her hand consciously to her hair, smoothening it. It was then did she notice the lake behind Nathan.

"Nathan, where are-" she gasped in shock. In the middle of the lake, there was a tiny round island, no bigger than a pool table. On the island stood a little table seated for two, decorated in red tablecloth with familiar looking purple flowers scattered on it. Candlelight lit the middle of the table and the moonlight casting its glow on the peaceful lake created the perfect atmosphere.

"Naty" she murmured softly, still in awe.

"Come on" he said, holding her hand. "Our chariot awaits" he joked, indicating a motorboat at the edge of the lake.

"Thanks" Haley smiled at the waiter as he filled her glass with water. The waiter nodded politely before turning his attention to Nathan who was perusing the menu.

"Are we ready to order?" the waiter asked in an exaggerated accent. Haley who had been sipping water nearly spat in back in the glass as she tried not to laugh. Nathan's eye caught hers and he winked.

"Are you ready Hales?" Nathan asked, trying not to grin.

"Oh, I haven't even looked at the menu" Haley said, cursing herself for being so stupid. She grabbed her menu from the table and hid her blushing head behind it.

"I will come back later" the waiter said in that same accent. Nathan and Haley waited until he was in the motorboat and out of earshot before they cracked up laughing.

"So, what's good here?" Haley asked when they had finally stopped laughing. She looked up from the menu when he didn't answer to find him staring at her.

"Wh-what? Sorry, I didn't hear you" he said, embarrassed that she had caught him staring at her. He couldn't' help it, she was undoubtedly the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

"What's good here?" Haley asked, cheerfully.

"Um.. I don't know" Nathan said, looking at his menu. "This is the first time I have ever been here" he confessed.

"Oh" Haley said. "You don't bring your other dates here?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light.

Nathan looked at her intently for a few seconds before answering "I never had other dates, Hales."

"Oh" she answered, hating herself for asking. She once again hid her face behind her menu.

"I think I'll have the steak" Nathan said, after a few moments of silence. "What about you, Bugs?".

"Um.. The lamb shank" she answered before putting her menu down. "And I do wish you would stop calling me that, Master Scott?" Haley teased, mimicking the waiter's accent.

Nathan grinned and was about to answer when the sound of a motorboat approaching their little island reached their ears. The motorboat reached the island and the same waiter jumped out of it.

"Is madam ready to order?" the waiter asked as he walked up to the table.

"Yes" Haley answered, trying not to look at Nathan. "I'll have the lamb".

The waiter nodded approvingly. "Very good, ma'am". Haley's eyes went big as she closed her mouth to prevent laughter from coming out.

"I'll have the..." Nathan couldn't help it, he burst out laughing at the expression on Haley's face. Luckily he managed to turn the laugh into a cough. "Sorry, I'll have the steak".

The waiter nodded. "Lovely, sir" he said, happily. The steak was the most expensive item on the menu. Then he took their menus and walked over to the motor boat. As soon as they heard the sound of the motorboat leaving, they cracked up once again. The laughter ceased after awhile and they just sat together in comfortable silence.

"This place is beautiful" she murmured softly, breaking the silence.

She looked around the tiny island admiringly. There were beautiful scattered purple petals littering the floor of the island and the only light they received other than the glow of the three candles in the middle of their table, was the moonlight.

They were in the middle of a beautiful, well kept lake. There were old trees lining the edge of the lake and towards the side, there was a point where the lake narrowed and gave way to a river. Just at that point there was a beautiful bridge over the river, its old oak railing entwined by ivy.

Below the bridge, although it was hard to see from Haley's view, there were beautiful swans sleeping after a hard day of roaming aimlessly around the lake. There were floating candles in the lake, slightly rocking in the movement of the water. 

And to top the picture of, Nathan was sitting opposite her, holding her hand.

"There! I see one!" Haley exclaimed as she pointed her hand up to the sky. She gasped as she saw the beautiful shooting star make its way through the starry night, a glimmer of light in the dark sky. She closed her eyes and made a wish. She looked to her left and saw that Nathan's eyes were shut too.

They were in the beach, the car parked a few dozen feet away from the shoreline. They were lying on the hood of the car, their faces looking up at the sky. The initial nervousness had dissipated very early in the night and after a nice dinner, they had decided to hang out there.

"This is the part in movies where the guy tells the girl the meaning of the stars, right?" Nathan asked, his eyes still shut, grinning.

Haley laughed softly, positioning herself more comfortable on the hood. "Are you going to?".

"I can try" he said, finally opening his blue eyes. He propped up on his elbow and turned over so he was looking down at her. Then he raised his head and looked at the sky.

"Okay, um... We just saw a shooting star so that um... means you can make a wish" Nathan said. He stared at the stars thoughtfully before pointed up to the sky. "That is the Big Dipper and um.. that's Jupiter, that big one lighted up and um..stop laughing!".

Haley couldn't. Her sides were bursting and she gasped for air. She was laughing so hard that Nathan started laughing too.

"I'm sorry!" she said, gasping for breathe. She wiped a tear of laughter from her eye. "I'm sorry" her voice was weak from laughter. "But that was pathetic".

"Pathetic?" he asked, in mock hurt. "Take it back, Bugs" he said, tickling her sides.

"Nathan! Stop!" she laughed uncontrollably. "The car is shaking! Okay...Okay! I take it back!" she said, squealing as he continued to tickle her. "You're not pathetic".

He grinned and released her. "Spoken by free will" he teased.

She sighed as she wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. "Idiot" she said, affectionately. Nathan laughed as she mock glared at him.

Their playful banter gave way to silence. Haley looked up at Nathan who was still propped up on his elbow at her side. But he was looking at a spot on the ground, his expression serious.

"Hey" she said, softly tugging on his shirt. "What's up?" she murmured as he faced her with quizzical expression.

Nathan didn't speak at first then he asked "Remember earlier during dinner, you asked me if I brought any of my dates to that restaurant?".

Haley cursed herself for asking him that. "Naty" she started before Nathan cut her off.

"Wait, Hales. I need to say this" he said, gently, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "From the moment you left, I knew it was going to be hard to let you go. I guess I underestimated how hard" he said, softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

"But I always knew that I would find you again. It sounds cheesy" he said, grinning. "But it's true. You were always the most important and the biggest part of me" he continued, seriously. "And I was never complete without you. Because you took my heart with you". 

She felt a tear slide down her cheek, she couldn't help it. Nathan sounded so forlorn and she was reminded of the years that she had spent without him. The worst years of her life. Crying every night, reliving every memory of them over and over in her head. 

Nathan placed his hand gently on her cheek, wiping the tear away. "There wasn't a day that you were away that I didn't think about you. There wasn't a day that I forgot about you".

She placed her hand over his and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his hand on her skin. She opened her eyes and looked up at his face, staring down at her. "You're everything to me" she said, in reply to him.

He grinned and bent down, kissing her gently. Then he leaned on his back against the hood of the car. He lifted his arm and she moved closer to him, leaning her head against his chest. He dropped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him.

Above them, a shooting star lit up the sky.

**I was pretty conscious of this chapter so please let me know what you think**


	48. Goodbye Friend

**Thanks for the reviews! Made me write two more short chapters!**

"Brooke! Brooke!" Peyton yelled, pushing through the crowd of people dancing to the rock metal music. The dim lighting of the club did little to help her look for Brooke but occasionally the spotlights would flash and she would catch a glimpse of the faces around her.

Suddenly the music stopped and gave way to a louder jumpier song. Peyton was pushed from left and right as people around her danced like there was no tomorrow. As she picked herself up from the floor for the fifth time, Peyton cursed Brooke under her breathe for bringing her here.

"Brooke!!" she shouted once more when she had finally escaped the dance floor. Her screams were in vain as the music drowned her words out.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" people were cheering behind Peyton. With an awful feeling of dread, Peyton turned around. Brooke was standing on top of a stool, balancing on one leg with a beer can in her hand. By her swaying movement as she chugged down the beer, Peyton could tell that this wasn't her first can.

Brooke finished the can and raised her arms up in the air in a victorious movement. People cheered and Peyton could hear people shouting stuff like "she's still standing" and "get her another!"

But just at that moment, Brooke stumbled and lost her footing. The stool swayed dangerously and Brooke giggled as she fell hard on the floor drunkenly. She was still laughing when she picked herself off the floor and grabbed another can of beer off the bar.

Peyton had seen enough. She walked over to the bar, pushing past people who were staring at Brooke as she exhausted the bar's supply of beer. Peyton finally reached Brooke who was staggering on her feet just to stand upright.

"Peyton!" Brooke shouted as she saw Peyton come up to her. "Someone get my friend here a drink!"

Peyton grabbed Brooke's hand and pulled her away from the protesting crowd. The crowd yelled and booed Peyton as she dragged Brooke away.

"Pey-P.Sawyer!" Brooke protested. "I was ha-having f-fun" she said drunkenly. She attempted to break Peyton's grip but her overdose of alcohol had rendered her weak. 

Peyton ignored her attempts at freeing herself and dragged her towards the front door of the club and outside into the cool air of the night as compared to the hot loud compressed air inside. She spotted Brooke's sports car in the middle of the lot and still holding Brooke, walked over to it.

As soon as she unlocked the door, she pushed Brooke gently in. Brooke fell asleep as soon as her head hit the car seat. Peyton worry disappeared as she saw that Brooke was sleeping soundly and would unlikely suffer from any threats other than a headache in the morning.

Peyton stared at Brooke sadly as she slept soundly. Brooke had told her earlier that she was going to change her ways and this was the proof of her words. The old Brooke would have never done what she had just done earlier. The old Brooke would have had only a couple glasses of margaritas and call it a night. The old Brooke was dead.

"Goodbye Brooke" Peyton said, sadly as she closed the car door.


	49. I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Here's a really weird chapter. I did it mostly for fun and because I loved the song. Let me know if you liked it or thought it was stupid. Thanks!**

Haley waved to Nathan before turning around and inserting her key into the lock. She smiled blushingly as she turned the key and opened the door. As soon as she walked into the room, she peered through the peephole and watched Nathan drive off.

A sigh of contentment released her as she walked into her living room. She was so happy, she could have skipped. She sank into the sofa, her mind playing back the memories of the evening. She closed her eyes and replayed every moment in her mind.

A frown settled over her features as she remembered the reason she had come to Tree Hill. It wasn't to fall in love all over again with Nathan. It was for something else. Haley felt a pang of disdain as her heart filled with guilt. She tried to block out the feelings of regret but she couldn't. Instead she could have sworn she heard someone humming a tune behind her.

She rose up and walked over to the mantelpiece. On it were pictures of her childhood, her family and of course Nathan. She picked one picture, her and Nathan lying on the couch watching Saturady morning cartoons together.

_If there's a prize for rotten judgement__  
__I guess I've already won that_

Haley sang softly as she ran her finger down Nathan's face in the picture. She sighed and put down the picture, walking away.

_No man is worth the aggravation__  
__That's ancient history, been there, done that!_

Haley walked to the front door and pulled it open. This time she could have sworn she heard people singing behind her.

_Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'__  
__He's the Earth and heaven to you__  
__Try to keep it hidden_

Haley sighed as she walked down her driveway and made for the park near her house. The place she and Nathan had spent so many hours together.

_Honey, we can see right through you__  
__Girl, ya can't conceal it__  
__We know how ya feel and__  
__Who you're thinking of_

Haley waved her hand in front of her face as if chasing away that ridiculous thought.

_No chance, no way__  
__I won't say it, no, no_

She sang in protest as she entered the park. She smiled in content as she relived all the memories of her and Nathan in this place.

_You swoon, you sigh__  
__why deny it, uh-oh_

She heard voices sing those words and her smile dropped from her face. She shook her head and ran her hand through her hand and sang in response

_It's too cliche__  
__I won't say I'm in love_

She walked over to the swings and sat down, her mind filled with the past, not just of hers with Nathan but of hers without him.

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson__  
__It feels so good when you start out_

She sang those words and pushed herself away from the swings. She walked over to the slides and leaned on it.

_My head is screaming get a grip, girl__  
__Unless you're dying to cry your heart out__  
__Oh_

She gripped her head in her hands and lifted it slowly. She raised her hands in frustration. The other people singing were on a roll. They continued as if they hadn't heard her.

_You keep on denying__  
__Who you are and how you're feeling__  
__Baby, we're not buying_

She sang her denial as she walked over to a nearby tree. On the trunk were carved the words NS and HJ 4EVER. Nathan had carved it when they were eight.

_Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling__  
__Face it like a grown-up__  
__When ya gonna own up__  
__That ya got, got, got it bad_

She realized that she was tracing the words and pull back. She moved away from the tree and tried to run away from the singing voices.

_No chance, now way__  
__I won't say it, no, no_

She sang to try to tell them. She wasn't suppose to fall in love with him, she wanted to but she couldn't hurt him again. She stopped short when her eyes caught a patch of grass where purple flowers had been planted.

_Give up, give in__  
__Check the grin you're in love_

She wiped the grin off her face and walked over to the patch of purple flowers. She picked up a flower and looked at it lovingly before throwing on the ground. She sang again

_This scene won't play,__  
__I won't say I'm in love_

SHe didn't look back at the fallen flower. SHe walked off to the lake nearby, hoping that the voices of th others had left. No such luck for they sang again.

_You're doin flips read our lips__  
__You're in love_

She replied in frustration as she shook her head.  
_You're way off base__  
__I won't say it__  
__Get off my case__  
__I won't say it_

She walked over to the park bench near the lake and sat down, glad she had the final word. She groaned when she heard the voices

_Girl, don't be proud__  
__It's O.K. you're in love_

She put her hand on the seat beside her ans was surprised to find a purple flower on it. She picked it up and smiled. She sang as she rested her head on the seat next to her.

_Oh__  
__At least out loud,__  
__I won't say I'm in love_

Haley woke up with a start. Her heart was pounding as she looked around her living room, still in her yellow dress. She looked at the clock and saw that three hours had passed since Nathan dropped her home

"WHat a weird dream" she muttered as she went back to sleep.


	50. Too Many Au Revoirs

He smiled as he waved to his family for the last time. His little sister sobbed as she ran towards him, crying his name. He picked her up and swung her around. She clutched to him.

"You be good for mama" he said quietly to her. She nodded, wiping her tears away from her face. He tried to put her down but she wouldn't let go. She cried louder as he put her in his mother's arms.

"No! No!" she screamed as he walked away. "Don't go!" she turned to her mother who was staring helplessly at her retreating son.

He didn't look back, he had already said his goodbyes, why make it harder for them?. He walked into the waiting car, wiping the tears away from his brown eyes. The man behind the wheel smiled kindly at him before starting the car.

His little sister broke away from his mother and chased after the car, screaming his name. He tried to ignore her but his heart filled with emotion when he glanced at the rearview mirror as she sank to her knees in a defeated way. 

"You okay?" the man asked him.

He looked out the window and watched his hometown and everything he knew disappear in a wave of light. He took a deep breathe, wishing he didn't have to say goodbye.

"Not really, Keith" he replied, as the wave of sadness engulfed him. "Not really".

-------------------

Haley grinned as she peered through the peephole. She swung open the door to find a really good looking pizza boy staring at her.

"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong house" she said, trying not to smile. "I didn't orded a pizza".

She pretended to close the door but he called out "it's complementary".

She seemed to reconsider. "Well, in that case, I'll take it", she grabbed the box out of his hands and closed the door. She placed the box on the table next to the door and waited a few seconds before opening the door again. "Are you complementary too?" she asked.

Nathan grinned. "No, ma'am. I'm priceless".

Haley laughed. "In that case, I'm keeping you" she grabbed him and pulled him in the door.

"Where did you get the outfit?" she asked, grabbing the box and walking to the kitchen, with him trailing her.

"A friend I know works in a pizzeria. Pretty good disguise, huh?" he said, cocking his eyebrow.

She laughed, grabbing a bottle of soda from the fridge and two glasses from the bottom shelf. Nathan reached over her and grabbed two plated from the above shelf.

"Yup, I nearly didn't recognize you. I mean I have known you only" she pretended to think. "All my life".

He laughed as he grabbed the box, soda and glasses from her and walked to the living room. She grinned as she realized that his old urge was kicking in. He never wanted her to carry anything or do any sort of work, he always felt a need to do everything for her.

"So, what are we watching?" she asked as she walked into the living room. Nathan had set everything on the tble and was inserting something into the DVD player.

Nathan grinned. "Remember when you told me the other day, when we had a picnic in the park that you missed out a lot of American culture while you were in South Americs?". Haley nodded, feeling slightly apprehensive. "Well" he continued. "Let me introduce you to...Spiderman!".

HAley groaned. "Naty, I know who Spiderman is. You used to force me to come with you every Saturday to the comic book store to buy Spiderman comics".

Nathan laughed. "I nearly forgot about that" he said, as he joined Haley on the couch.

"Trust me. I will never forgot the pain I went through every Saturday morning when I was forced to walk through the cold at least ten blocks" she leaned her head dramatically on his shoulder.

"What cold?" Nathan asked, grinning. "My Spiderman phase was during the summer".

"Well, maybe it was the inner cold I went through when I realized that my best friend, future boyfriend would rather read comic books than spent time with me" she teased. He laughed and wrapped his arm around her as they leaned back on the couch.

"I'd rather spent time with you than meet Spiderman" he whispered into her ear.

Haley smiled to herself and leaned her head against his shoulder. Three weeks had passed since their first date, three wonderful weeks. Haley didn't know that she could love him anymore, but it seemed that her love for him only grew.

------------------

"What the hell?" Haley demanded when the credits went up. "How can he ditch her? I thought he loved her".

Nathan laughed at her reaction. "You know, we can watch Spiderman 2".

Haley spun around to face Nathan with a bright smile. "Can we?".

"Yeah, but I haven't rented it" Nathan said, cautiously.

Haley shrugged. "It's okay. I'd rather just be here with you." She snuggled closer to him.They were lying on the couch together, Haley's head on his chest, his arms around her. She breathed in the scent of him, just thankful for him.

Suddenly a picture on the mantelpiece caught her eye. She stood up, letting go of Nathan's hold on her. She walked slowly to the mantelpiece and took the picture frame and stared at it.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked.

Haley shook her head, wiping a tear that had escaped her eye. She walked over to the couch, and showed him the picture. Nathan's look of confusion turned to understanding than again to sympathy.

"Haley" he started. Haley shook her head. 

"I'm fine, Naty. Just" her eyes fell on the picture of her parents on their wedding day. "My mother always said that she couldn't wait to pick out my wedding dress".

Nathan pulled her in his arms. She clutched to him, the only one she loved that never left her. Her initial sadness abandoned her and she looked up at his face.

"Never let me go again" she whispered to him.

"Are you planning on going somewhere?" he asked, his voice equally soft.

She shook her head, slowly. "But you never know". She looked again at the picture. "I miss them alot" she said, sadly. She looked at Nathan, wiping the tears away and gave him a small smile. "You're the only one who makes the pain go away".

They held each other closely. But the words I love you were left unspoken.

A clock loomed high above them. It was ticking too fast and soon time would run short of the two lovers. Holding on to each other would eventually only lead to letting go. Their love would be forever but the time together would barely last a lifetime.

---------------------

"Are you expecting anyone?" Nathan asked, when he heard the doorbell ring. He grabbed the frying pan off the stove saving his and Haley's dinner from burning.

Haley shook her head and took off her apron. She made her way to the front door. Nathan caught up with her and wrapped his arm protectively around her. She smiled at him before she opened the front door.

Her smile gave way to a look of shock as she stared at the visitor. Then she let out a squel and ran towards the visitor, Nathan's arm slipping off her waist.

"Nagume!".


	51. Bring Me To My Knees

**Hey so I thought I would clarify some stuff for you. Nagume is Haley's friend from South Africa, they grew up together. And I just wanted to say that I'm not going to tell you what happens to Naley but I'm a die hard Naley fan so… Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. And I'm going to pick another person to tell the secret to so please review so I know who to choose. **

"You do know you guys are in public right?" Lucas asked as he walked over to Nathan and Haley.

The two of them were lying in a hammock, made by Nathan who had hung it in a secluded area of the beach. Remains of a picnic lay nearby. The hammock was to small for two people but they didn't mind. They had rarely spent anytime with each other the past two days so they each gave up their lazy Saturday afternoon to be with each other. The word rarely was a slight exaggeration because for them, spending less than the whole day together was not spending enough time with each other.

"You're just jealous because you ain't me right now" Nathan said, wrapping his arms even tighter around Haley. Haley laughed as she snuggled against him.

Lucas looked disgusted as he stared at them. "What if someone we know sees you?".

"Lucas has a point" a voice said, from the other direction. Jake and Peyton were walking towards them, grinning but aparently just as disgusted as Lucas was.

"They're like the new Bogeyman" a new voice called out from behind Peyton. Brooke walked up to them, slightly woozy on her feet. Everyone looked at her confused. "Because kids get scared of them just by looking at them".

Everyone laughed. Brooke smiled and hiccoughed quietly. Nobody heard her because just then Nathan said "you guys are just jealous".

"And pray tell why we should be jealous of you?" Lucas asked, in a polite tone.

"Because I'm dating the most beautiful girl in the world" he said, kissing Haley on the lips for the benefit of irritating their audience. Everyone groaned.

"Brooke, are you okay?" Peyton asked when she noticed Brooke wobbling slightly in her heels.

"Whaa-at?" Brooke giggled. "I'm fiiine" she said, smiling brightly. She lifted a plastic cup she was holding and sipped the drink inside.

"Brooke, are you drunk?" Peyton asked, walking up to her. She grabbed the cup out her Brooke's hands and sniffed the drink inside. She wrinkled her nose. "It's five in the evening and you're already drunk. What time do you start" she asked, rhetorically.

Brooke didn't seem to hear her. "Psst. P.Sawyer" she attempted to whisper. She pointed at Lucas. "That boy broke my heart" she slurred, her words nearly incomprehensible. But everyone heard her, especially Lucas.

"I'll get you home" Peyton sighed as she helped Brooke to walk to her car.

"I'll help Peyt" Jake called out as he ran after Peyton and helped her to walk Brooke.

"Hey, do you need help?" Haley called after them as she tried to get out of the hammock.

"It's okay. We got it" Jake called back as he helped Brooke to get inside the car. Peyton handed him the keys and they were soon driving away.

"Poor Brooke" Haley said, quietly as she stared at the car as it drove away.

"Yeah" Lucas said, nervously. He coughed and scrathed his hair absently. "Listen, I gotta go... do something. See you guys later". He walked away before either of them could say something.

"I don't get it. Why can't Lucas at least try to get Brooke back?. He obviously still cares about her" Haley said, sitting up straight.

"Lucas likes Brooke?" Nathan asked, still lying on the hammock confused. "I thought they broke up?".

Haley grinned. "You are such a guy. You're so clueless" she said, still looking at the direction in which Peyton's car left in.

"Really?" Nathan asked. He pulled Haley towards him and turned her around so her face was inches away from his. "So, why are you still with me?".

"Because you have a nice smile" she said, with a straight face. Then she suddenly turned serious. "Wait, did Peyton say it was five o'clock?".

Nathan glanced at his watch. "She did and it is".

"Uh oh" Haley said, climbing out of the hammock.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked, as he watched her grab her things quickly. He climbed out of the hammock and helped her pack up their picnic.

"Nothing. I'm just late. I told Nagume I'll be home at four thirty" she said, in a hurried voice. She grabbed the picnic basket from him and walked away quickly. She walked a few spaces before turning around and coming back. "I'll see you tommorow" she said, kissing him on the cheek. Then she turned around and left again.

Nathan looked after her and touched his cheek gingerly. Then he let his hand fall in an desolated way.

------------------

"Nagume!" Haley called out as she walked into the front door. "I'm home" she walked into the kitchen to find it empty. She dropped her stuff on the table and walked into the living room to find noone there.

"Nagume" she called out again. She ran up the stairs yelling his name but noone responded. She walked to the guest room that Nagume was staying in only to find him sitting in the window seat looking out.

"Nagume" she said, breathlessly. She lifted her hands and let it drop. "Didn't you hear me calling?".

He ignored her and continued to look out. She bit her lip. She wish she could help him, he had been so quiet eversince he came. She was surprised to see him when he showed up at her doorstep but pleasantly so. He was after all her best friend after Nathan who had seem a little weird upon meeting Nagume. He took off right after Nagume came.

She wanted to ask Nagume the reason he was here. She didn't mind, of course in fact she loved the idea of him getting a job and staying at her house. He was like her older brother, she had grown up with him, and his little sister. She also wanted to ask how her Uncle Keith was, she hadn't spoken to him for awhile and she knew that Nagume and him were very close. 

"NAgume" she said, quietly sitting next to him. She looked at his staggeringly handsome face. "Would you please just look at me?".

He turned slowly to face her. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

He gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry, Haley bear" he said, sadly. "You don't deserve this".

"What are you takling about?" she laughed. "Deserve you staying here? I love you, and I'd love to have you stay" she laughed again, glad that she understood his feelings that he was imposing on her life. She stood up and walked a few feet saying "I'm going to make macaroni and cheese. Remember when we were young, I told you that I would and you would see how good it is. Now, you can eat your words. SAying that macaroni and cheese taste like...".

"You misunderstand, Haley" he interrupted her non-stop chatter. She stopped in mid-sentence and stared curiously at him. Her defense mechnism was going off. Something was wrong. She could sense it but she was powerless to stop him from opening his mouth and saying those words that would send her to her knees.

"I'm dying".

**What do you guys think?**


	52. Take It Back

Flashback

Nine year old Haley ran along the small pathway, clutching in her hands a gold locket. She was late. The beautiful thing about living in the Amazon forest was the absence of time in the form of numbers and digits. Things here ran according to the sky, which in Haley's opinion was a much better way to live life. _When the sun is rising, a new day is arriving _Haley would quote her uncle, _and when the moon comes out, no more running about! _The life here was less stressful and more carefree than her life at Tree Hill, but she still wanted to go home. A boy with ocean blue eyes and dark hair was the top of her reasons to go back. Actually her only reason.

Even though, there was a lack of the punctuality of time, she still knew she was late. The sun was setting which signaled that she should have been home quite a while back. Her Uncle Keith would be getting anxious. The reason she was late was because she was having fun splashing around in a lake about a mile from the campsite she and her uncle lived. She had fallen asleep near the surface of the lake and had woken up five minutes from sundown.

Haley stopped for a moment and placed her hands on her knees, panting. She put her locket in her khaki pocket for safe keeping. She looked at the path in front of her and sighed in relief. It was all downhill and would be easier to run down compared to the uphill path she had just run up. The path was not very safe for either side of it was a downhill slope that extended all the way to a dangerous river about a hundred feet below. The slope was very steep and covered with tall trees but in Haley's hurry, she didn't give care towards her safety.

She started jogging again and eventually that lead to her running once again. She was breathing hard, extremely tired and hot although the sun was already setting. A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. She brushed it away while she ran and her view was blocked for a moment so she didn't see the branch sticking out at her knee level from one of the trees. She tripped over the branch and fell on the ground. Her position when she had fallen had caused her to lean towards the slope dangerously. She screamed as the dirt ground beneath her began to shake and move towards the slope. She was slipping and scrambled to get stable ground but she couldn't. She gave a shriek when she felt herself fall. She closed her eyes because she didn't want to see herself slide down the slope and eventually to the murky ground of the river.

But she didn't slide down the slope because just then, something grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes shakily and realized that 'something' was someone else's hand. She looked up to see a handsome dark skinned man grabbing onto her. He pulled her up easily and grabbed onto her hand until he was satisfied that she was on stable ground. She was shaking by her narrow escape and passed out in his arms.

"I'm fine" she said, angrily for the tenth time. "I was fine yesterday and I'm fine today. I have just a few scratches. What's the big deal?"

Keith took his time to answer. He grabbed the ointment from the beautiful crafted bedside table and rubbed it on Haley's skin with a cotton ball.

"The deal is Haley" he said, slowly. "I promised your parents I would take care of you and I don't seem to be doing a very good job".

She smiled, her mood forgotten. "What are you talking about? You're doing a great job" she said, with a bright smile. She threw her arms around his neck. "I love you, Uncle Keith but you worry too much". She laughed and slipped of the bed, grabbing her khaki short and a new shirt.

"Nice try, Haley. Get back in bed" Keith said, in a stern voice but he was amused. Haley was the brightest kid he had ever met and he had to be on his toes just to make sure she didn't take advantage of him.

Haley sighed in dismay. "Fine!" she yelled. She climbed up onto the bed. "Maybe I'll just live in bed forever! Would that make you happy?" she said, angrily. She sat up straight and folded her arms and lifted her chin, staring at her uncle as if daring him to speak.

Keith laughed at her spunk. "Well, actually yeah. Now I don't have to worry about you getting married and leaving me" he said, with a grin. He messed up her hair as he stood up, saying "I'll be right outside if you need me, kid".

He had reached the front door of their little hut when he heard Haley's voice call out to him. He turned around to see her smiling again. "I won't ever leave you, Uncle Keith" she said, smiling at him. Keith felt his heart swell with love for his little niece. He smiled back at her and walked out of the hut, switching off the light bulb, letting her sleep.

Haley lay her head on her pillow, and shut her eyes. As soon as she heard her uncle's rocking chair outside the hut creak as he sat on it, her eyes opened widely. She glanced up at the huge window opposite her bed that was big enough to let her go through and grinned.

Haley saw him before he saw her. The man that had saved her yesterday. He was sitting on a rock, beside a little stream not far from the campsite. She hesitated for a moment then she marched straight up to him and sat down beside him. He ignored her sudden presence even while she kept on staring curiously at him. She thought he was old when he had first saved her but now she realized that he must have been no older than eighteen. She didn't say anything because her nerves had temporarily muted her so she kept as silent as him.

The silence finally became too unbearable so she spoke up.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked, in a curious tone as she glanced at his right hand which was wrapped in a bandage.

"Fell" he said, curtly.

"You didn't have the bandage on yesterday" she said, suspiciously. Then it dawned on her. He must have injured his hand when he saved her yesterday. Her tone changed as she looked up at his face. "Thank you for saving me".

He nodded but his initial curtness had evaporated. He fished around in his pocket for something before pulling out a gold chain. "This yours?" he asked, giving it to her.

Haley gasped. "My locket" she exclaimed. For the first time in her life, she had forgotten about it. She hadn't even noticed it was had fallen out of her pocket when she fell even though it was her most prized possession. She examined it for scratches before smiling up at him. "Thank you".

A shadow of a smile fell on him as he looked at the little child next to him. Haley noticed how handsome he was despite the fact that his eyes were empty. They were devoid of any emotion and lacked warmth. Yet Haley didn't feel scared, it was strangely comforting to be in the presence of him.

"I'm Haley. Haley James" she said, suddenly feeling a need to introduce herself.

"Nagume" he said, turning his attention to the stream again.

"What are you staring at, anyway?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

He pointed at the high grass beyond the stream. "See animal?" he asked, in his broken English. She nodded when she saw a small fox hiding in the bushes. "He want to catch fish".

"How?" she asked. The fox as far as she knew was a land animal. The idea of it going into the water seemed a bit odd for her. He started to explain and although his English was not very good, she understood every single word that came out of his mouth.

The two strangers sat beside each other along the stream, the little girl and the tall handsome dark man. They seem to be an odd pairing but a friendship struck immediately. She eventually started teaching him English and he would teach her bout everything else. A bond grew between the two of them, unbroken, unshaken. Not even death would come between them.

End of Flashback

She started laughing. She had no idea why. The idea of Nagume, her savior, her brother dying was incredulous. He couldn't die. He was supposed to be there for her. When everything was spiraling to an infinite darkness, he was supposed to be there!

"No" she said, still smiling. "No" she said a little more forceful.

"Haley bear" he reached for her arm.

"No!" she said, pulling away from him. "Y-you can't" she said, her smile gone and shock reflecting in her face. "You can't!" she cried as if hoping that her words would somehow take away his. Just erase it, she begged in her head, please let him just grin and saying it's a joke. But all Nagume displayed was sorrow. His eyes which got rid of their emptiness not long after Haley and he met was now filled with sadness.

She started trembling. "Oh God!" she said, as a lump formed in her throat. She raised a shaking hand to her mouth. "Oh God!" she repeated as she stared at him. Tears were falling and she started sobbing. "No, please take it back" she said, covering her face with her hands as she cried.

She walked over to him and dropped down on her knees. She clutched his legs and cried "take it back!" She shook his legs forcefully crying "Take it back" over and over again. Her happiness that had engulfed her ever since she and Nathan started dating was gone to be filled with sorrow.

"You can't leave me" she cried as she held on to his leg as if he was going to disappear any minute now. He stared helplessly down at her as she sobbed hysterically on the floor. "You promised you won't leave me" she cried, desperately, her voice barely audible. Her tears was still streaming down her face and to no avail. She gave up hope and instead pulled him to her, hugging him as hard as she could, still sobbing against his shoulder.

"I love you, Haley bear" he said, as he hugged her.

She swallowed the big lump in her throat. _No_, she thought desperately. _Not Nagume. Why him? He never did anything to hurt anyone! Why is he being taken away from this life? From his family?_ She let out another sob, and clutched him harder. _From me?_

"I love you too, Nagume" she said, against his ear as she wiped away her tears. "I-I love you too".


	53. Years Later, This Is How It Ends

Haley looked at her feet in the water and watched as the fishes nearby swam away after noticing the strange object in their habitat. She almost laughed cruelly. It was nice to see other living things floundering away in life and it was not only the humans who make messes of everything by complicating simple matters.

She lifted her feet in the air, just a few inches away from the surface of the water. Then she let go, feeling no satisfaction as her feet splashed against the water. She stared calmly as ripples began forming, growing wider and wider until it was bigger than her body itself. A slight movement could cause an impact upon something much bigger.

It made her feel slightly elated because it proved that even she could make a difference. Maybe not in the world, but in someone's life. In the same way that Nagume made a difference in hers.

As if he was summoned there by her thoughts, he materialized by her side and sat down next to her. They were in silence for a while and it comforted Haley for it proved that words were not always necessary when you were so close to someone. She glanced at Nagume and realized that he was staring at a spot beyond the river. She gave a small sad smile as a feeling of déjà vu took her over.

"We've been here before" Haley said, softly turning her attention to the river.

Nagume remained mum for a moment as if trying to think over how to respond to Haley. He didn't want to hurt her more but he needed her to stop feeling sorry for herself. He had spent too much time taking pleasure in self pity and it was a regretful mistake and he didn't want Haley to make the same mistakes he did. He needed her to be okay because he needed to be okay.

"No, we haven't" he said, gently, looking at her worried.

She laughed softly. "I don't mean here. I mean we have had this moment before" she looked down at the water near her feet. The ripples were gone and there was nothing left to prove its existence. It was like it had been wiped out, and left no remains, except the memory of it being there. It was like someone's death; most of the time, all they leave are memories. "We have sat down by a river in silence together" she continued. "Yup" she said, slowly nodding, her tone suddenly devoid of emotion. "We've been here before".

Nagume ran his hand through his short dark hair, ruffling it. He never had to try to think about the right things to say to Haley, he always just said what came to his mind, but right now he was second guessing everything he was going to say to her. She was in a weird mood, but at least she wasn't crying anymore.

"You're talking about the day we met" he said, slowly.

"Does it really matter how we met?" she asked, bitterly. "Doesn't it matter more how it ends? How it doesn't matter how much you wish that something would happen, or in this case, wouldn't happen because in the end it really doesn't help in the big scheme of things?" she continued. "But truth be told, in the end it doesn't matter. Nothing ever does" she said, harshly.

Nagume kept silent once again. In the past, there were many times when Haley would chatter on happily making no sense at all. At that moment, she wasn't making any sense but for the first time, she was doing it bitterly.

Haley wanted to smack her head with her palm. She knew she was being difficult; it was a lot harder to be him right now than her. She should be comforting him, instead of the other way around.

"You never told me what happened to you?" she asked, biting her lip. She was suddenly ashamed to look at him after the way she had been acting.

"What happened to me?" he asked, confused.

"I mean the reason you're…" she broke off, and turned her attention back again to a spot beyond the river.

He looked up at the sky, deep in thought as if he didn't hear her question. But then he turned to her and said "I got into an accident, a few days after Keith reappeared and you left for Tree Hill again. I got bitten by a snake".

"I bled a lot and by the time Keith got me to a hospital, I had lost at least two pints" he continued. "So, I needed a blood transfusion" he shrugged. "The next thing I knew, the doctor was telling me I had Aids". He laughed bitterly. "And we thought that in this age, people would learn not to reuse syringes".

Haley shook her head. "I don't understand. You're telling me the doctor reused the same syringe?"

"He reused the same syringe not knowing it was contaminated with HIV infected blood" Nagume corrected.

"Oh" Haley let out a sigh of realization. "So, not that I'm complaining because you know I love you and would love to have you stay as long as you can but… why did you come here?" she asked, confused.

"Because I needed medication to keep the pain at bay and to lessen the symptoms" he said, vaguely. His eyes went blank. Haley felt a surge of pity for him; he had obviously suffered a lot. She put her hand around his shoulder, hardly able to reach over his broad shoulders and squeezed.

"Plus I didn't want to bother my parents" he muttered. "They suffer enough without me adding to it. If I was to…" he tried to think of another word to substitute the word 'die'. "Leave in my parents presence, they would never get through that. Their older son, with the hope and dreams of becoming a doctor, dying in their arms" he continued sarcastically.

"There is nothing stupid of you wanting to be a doctor" she said, comfortingly.

"There was nothing smart of it either" he said, sadly.


	54. I'm Tired Of Being Me

**Hey first of all thanks so much for the reviews! You guys are awesome! The line 'we've been here before' was actually what I based the whole scene on so I really hoped you liked it. And I wasn't too sure about the disease but after researching on it, I decided that AIDS was the best one. Oh, and if you would like to read my other stories (which I really appreciate, thanks!) just click on my pen name and all my stories will come out. And I'm going to pick the person to tell the secret too so I hope that whoever I tell will please not tell anyone else. Thanks and enjoy this one!**

Peyton shifted through old record discs, trying to find one special one. After several moments, she realized that it wasn't there. She put the box on the floor and picked up another one, it too packed with record discs.

The bell on the front door of TRIC chimed as the door swung open. Peyton lifted her head towards the direction of the newcomer and grinned.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You sober yet?" she asked, lightly as she walked around to the other side of the bar.

Brooke pulled Peyton into a hug. "Hey, buddy" Peyton said, softly, patting her head. "What's wrong?"

Brooke broke away from Peyton's hold and wiped away her tear stained eyes. She gestured to the bar stools and the two of them made their way to them. As soon as Brooke had sat down, she spoke. "Do you think I'm overreacting?"

Peyton looked confused. "Oh, about the kiss?" she said, realizing what Brooke was talking about.

Brooke nodded. It was like it suddenly had its own name 'The Kiss'. It signified the end of her trust in men and the beginning of her path to self-destruction.

"If you were anyone else, I would think you are overreacting but you're the most loyal person I know so no, you're not" Peyton reassured her. She hesitated before continuing "But Brooke, you're my best friend and" she stopped short before giving her a steely look. "You have got to stop drinking".

Brooke nodded again. "I know. That was the exaggerated part, huh? Getting wasted every night" she laughed bitterly.

Peyton put her hand on Brooke's shoulder. "Pretty much. But at least now you can do something about it".

"I know. I'm sick of the new me. I liked the old me" Brooke shrugged. She dimpled slightly, showing a part of her old cheery self. "Want to go shopping later?"

Peyton laughed. "See that's more you! But I can't. I have to set up for tomorrow night's teen night at TRIC. Hopefully, some people would take advantage of open mike night" Peyton bit her lip, in anticipation. "Lately, TRIC kind of seems dead".

"What are you talking about it? People love TRIC" Brooke protested.

Peyton shrugged. "Yeah, they did. But now it's like the same old thing over and over again. People dance, the DJ plays. Every week. I need someone good to play a couple of songs live. That will liven the place up" she said, biting her lip

"What about Jake? He's a good singer" Brooke recommended.

Peyton averted her glance to the bar top table. "I don't know" she mumbled.

"Why not? He used to be your best friend" Brooke ventured. "You can't let one kiss a few months ago get in the way of things".

"Brooke…"she hesitated. "I'm…I'm crazy about him" she said, flinging her hand on front of her as emphatics.

"So, tell him!" Brooke said, her eyebrows rising.

Peyton shook her head. "I can't. I can't lose him".

"Sometimes it's not up to you" Brooke said, wistfully glancing out the big screen windows of the club at the sky.

* * *

Nathan sat in the living room of his huge house, on a luxurious sofa, the remote control in his hand and a bowl of nachos on his lap. The rerun of a big Lakers game was going on and since he had missed the original screening, he was determined to catch this one. He should have been thrilled that he could catch the biggest game of the season which was supposed to be airing only twice on ESPN but he was still slightly miserable.

He missed Haley. True, they had spent at least two hours earlier today together, but it was hours ago and he felt like he hadn't seen her in years. It scared him a bit, about how much in love he was with her. It was like she was an addiction he couldn't get rid of. He couldn't spend enough time with her.

He was so deep in thoughts with Haley that he didn't notice the game winning shot. It was supposed to be the shot of the century but he ignored the noise of the cheering fans on the TV. He didn't even realize that his father had walked into the room and was now standing in front of the TV.

"Nathan" his father called out angrily for the third time. Nathan snapped out of his daydream and saw his father.

"Dad" he retorted. "I'm trying to watch the game".

"It's over" Dan said, flatly. His anger evaporated from his face as he grabbed a picture of him, Deb and Nathan off the mantelpiece. The sadness reflected in his face. He walked over to Nathan and sat down on the coffee table so he could face him. "I know you miss your mom, son" he began.

Nathan rolled his eyes. Here comes the weekly 'it's gonna be okay' and 'we have each other' speech. He didn't want his father, truth be told he hated him.

"I miss her too" Dan continued in a somber tone.

Another lie to add onto the pile of lies his father told every day. He didn't miss her, he hated her. He was thrilled at the prospect of being with his son with no one to manipulate the way he wanted to raise his boy up.

"I think we both need a break" Dan said, cheerfully.

_Yeah, from each other, _Nathan thought eagerly. _Please let that be the next words coming out of Dan's mouth. _

"Let's go on a trip together".

Nathan's heart fell to the ground with a thud. His mouth opened slightly in shock. He wanted to object but no words came out.

"It's settled then! We leave tomorrow" Dan smiled.

Nathan waited until Dan had left the room before he slowly, with no emotion grabbed the pillow on the sofa. He slowly placed the pillow on his head before attempting to smother himself with it.

* * *

Haley ran as fast as she could. She had a stitch in her side but she ignored it. Her feet pounded hard on the concrete pavement as she swerved through passersby. She didn't even bother to stop and take a breather even though her lungs were screaming for air. She had to see him, she needed him right now.

She stopped in front of the popular little café that was Tree Hill High's student's favorite hangout. She didn't even question the chance that he might not be there. If he wasn't at the River Court, then the café was the only available option. He rarely spent time at home, only went there when he had no choice.

Haley pushed open the front door of the café. The little bell over the door jingled as the door swung open. She was startled to see that the café was nearly empty. It was a Saturday afternoon so she had expected it to be full. She suddenly remembered that her school was throwing a bake sale/car wash to raise money for a new wing so that was where the students would be.

Glancing around the café, with dismay she noticed that Nathan was not there. Lucas was sitting alone in a table, reading a novel. Before Haley could turn away and leave, Lucas raised his hand up in a friendly wave.

It was not that she disliked Lucas, quite the contrary, she liked him very much. They had spent a lot of time together and they had gotten close over the past few weeks. This time however, the only person she wanted to talk with was Nathan. She didn't need anyone else but him right then. But she still made way to Lucas's table and sat down opposite him.

"What you reading there?" Haley asked, conversationally.

Lucas raised the novel in front of her. "Hamlet" he said, closing the book on the table. "It's pretty interesting".

"I thought it was pretty depressing" Haley wrinkled her nose.

"You read it?" Lucas asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah" Haley said, defensively. "I'm not a complete ditz you know" she joked.

Lucas smiled. "I never thought you were. You're probably the smartest person in school" he complimented. "It's just you said that it was hard to come by books in the Amazon".

"It was. But Uncle Keith traveled at least once a month to different countries all over the world for conferences and stuff like that. He always brought me back books because he knew how much I loved reading".

"You didn't go with him?" Lucas asked.

Haley shook her head. "No, money wasn't actually free flowing for us then. I went once or twice to Paris and Rome but that's about it" she said, her voice going soft. "Nagume took care of me when Uncle Keith traveled".

"He seems like a nice guy" Lucas said, not realizing that her mood had changed.

"He is" Haley said, nodding. She looked around the café, biting her lip. "Do you know where Nathan is?"

Lucas shook his head. "Haven't seen him since this morning".

As if he appeared by sheer will of Haley's thoughts, the front door bell jingled again and looking like the god he was, Nathan stood by the entrance of the door. Without a word, Haley ran towards him and threw her arms around his broad shoulders.

"Haley" Nathan said, softly, looking down at her. He gently pulled away from her. "What's wrong?".

Haley shook her head to indicate that here was not the right place. She hastily wiped her tears that were already forming in her eyes. Nathan took the hint and waved a goodbye to his brother. He wrapped his arm around Haley's waist.

"Come on. I know a perfect place" he said, softly, guiding her out the café where the sun was already setting on what had seemed like a gloomy day.

Even though the prospect of spending the next few days with Dan dampened his mood, Nathan was glad that he could at least look forward to the next couple of hours with the girl of his dreams.


	55. I Hate Loving You

Lucas rubbed his temples gingerly, trying to get the throbbing sensation out of his head. He leaned over and hanged his head in the air, which made all the blood flow to his head. He read somewhere that that was supposed to help with headaches. He narrowed his eyes in pain, it actually made it worse.

He whacked his hand against the table counter he was sitting on. "Ouch" he cried out in pain. Great, now his hand hurt as much as his head. He got off the table and walked over to the sink, letting the water flow over the bright red mark on the palm of his hand.

_This was all Brooke's fault_ he thought angrily as he made his way to the bathroom of his apartment. _Why on Earth did she have to overreact? It was one stupid accidental kiss and now she was acting like he was planning her murder. _He grabbed the aspirin from the top shelf off the bathroom mirror and walked back to the living room of his apartment.

He looked around his lonely apartment and felt a pang of sadness. He had been living alone for months now, ever since he got his emancipation from Dan Scott, his 'father'. His mother had died a few years back and he had been forced to live with his biological father. As soon as he rendered himself capable, he decided to leave the Scotts and move into his own place. He was sick of the way Dan always bullied him and moving out was the best thing he ever did.

Deb had been a great help, ever since he was young, she was the one he relied on. She even helped him get his emancipation from Dan because she couldn't stand the way her husband treated that boy. She used to come to the apartment once a week to cook for him or bring him food and they would spend that time catching up. But now she was gone as well, just as his mother.

He walked over to the sofa and sat down, burying his head in his hands. He had to stop lying to himself, he missed her so much. She was the person he relied on for everyone and the first person he opened up to since his mother. He should have never let Brooke Davis go.

His initial anger appeared when he saw a picture on the side table of the couch. It was one of him and Brooke in his apartment. They had spent that whole day, watching old movies and laughing at cheesy lines and old special effects. Brooke had taken Lucas's camera and snapped a few photos of them. It was one of the best days Lucas could remember.

They had so much together and she just let herself walk away from it. He had tried to talk to her once or twice but she had just ignored him. He was trying to get her back but she wouldn't help him. _It's her fault_, he thought angrily. _Her fault I'm so miserable. _

He was sick of getting upset over her. He was tired of brooding in the corner. He had to take action and get his life back. After all, there were plenty of other fish in the sea.

"So, that's why he came back?" Nathan asked, as they walked through the crowded park. He looked at Haley who was staring directly in front of her, her face devoid of emotion and felt a pang of emotion for her. Okay it was more than just a pang; after all he did love her so it was more like a waterfall of emotion flooding him every time he looked at her.

He tightened his grasp on her hand and she smiled in gratitude at him. "That's what he says so yeah" she finally said. He pulled his hand away from hers and instead wrapped it around her waist. He pulled her closer to him and she nuzzled her head against his chest.

She thought she was done crying, done with the shock and the tragedy of once again losing someone she loved. Feeling overwhelmed and lost, she realized that she was ready to sob all over again. Tears started falling down her cheeks and she tried to stop the flow. She clutched Nathan tighter, who for once was oblivious to her sudden change in demeanor.

He suddenly stopped walking. Through blurry tears, Haley realized that they were standing in the middle of the woods located near the playground. She sneaked a glance at Nathan who was frowning while looking around the area for a sign of recognition. Haley leaned more comfortably against Nathan's chest and pursed her mouth to try to stop herself from sobbing.

Nathan suddenly realized that Haley's shoulders were shaking. Mentally smacking himself on the head, he realized that he was not helping her the way he wanted to.

"Hey" he said, softly. Haley didn't look up. He nudged her chin up gently so she could look up at him. She did through red rimmed eyes. "It'll be okay".

Haley lifted her hand and wiped the tears from her eyes. She nodded biting her lip, looking up at Nathan's handsome face. It burst out off her so sudden that for one moment she didn't know what was happening but pretty soon she was sobbing and shaking all at once.

Nathan's face portrayed shock for a split second then he wrapped his arms around Haley's waist and held her while she cried. Her sobs were muffled as she buried her head into his sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry, Nate" she cried, her shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry".

He rested his chin on top of her head. "Why?" he asked, tightening his hold on her.

"For putting you through this" she said, her sobs not ceasing.

"Hey, buddy" he said, gently tugging a strand of her auburn hair so she would look up. "Whatever happens, we'll go through it together" he said, grazing a finger across her cheek.

She nodded. "He's gonna leave me, Nate" she sobbed, her body trembling. She leaned her head again against his chest. "He's gonna leave me" she said, as she let her pent up emotions flood past her. She felt as if she would never stop crying, the guilt of leaving him in the Amazon to find the love of her life, having fun with Nathan blissfully unaware that her best friend was dying.

She suddenly felt a wave of anger towards Nathan. It was his fault, she thought miserably. If she didn't love him more than she loved anyone ever before, she wouldn't have come all the way to Tree Hill to find him. Then maybe Nagume would be alive. Maybe she could have saved him from the snake, or maybe she, Haley could have gotten bitten. She looked up at Nathan's face, suddenly hating him, hating him just as much as she loved him. Hating him for making her feel so vulnerable and dependant. Hating him for losing her all those years ago. Hating him because she loved him more than anyone on Earth could possibly love another person.

So, she pushed him away from her. He let out a sigh of surprise as he looked down at her angry face but he didn't let go off his grip around her waist.

"Let me go, Nathan" she growled, tears still falling down her cheeks. She shoved him hard in the stomach.

Nathan took the blow but held on. "No, Hales" he shook his head, confused. "Why are you mad now?".

She didn't reply. Instead she started whacking him on the chest, trying to hurt him, hurt him as much as he hurt her for years when she had missed him so much that she had spent days without sleep for her dreams brought memories of him, without food for she couldn't survive without him. Her fists pounded hard on his hard chest and although he winced in pain, he didn't let go. He didn't want her to be alone, who knew what she might do. He made a promise that he would always protect her, even if it resulted in bodily harm.

Finally, she gave up and fell back tired onto his waiting arms. He swept her up in his arms, her face finally serene. She had passed out of sheer exhaustion. He knew he couldn't bring her home for Nagume was there and he didn't need the extra worry and stress- he had enough of that.

So, Nathan walked over to the bottom of a nearby tree and cradled her, the girl he loved more than life itself.


	56. And We Fell In Love Under The Oak Tree

He hummed a familiar tune to himself. It was a favorite song to him for it brought back many memories of his childhood. The childhood spent with that beautiful girl with the big soulful eyes that even then seemed to reflect wisdom in her youth. The beautiful girl he was now cradling in his arms.

He brushed a wisp of hair away from her face, singing softly to her. He had been sitting there for awhile now although the sun was still up. He was attempting to revive her, hoping that maybe the song would. She had always love that song, skipping around the backyard of her house, singing loudly until he, next door would hear her and come running out. It was funny; it was like their Batman logo in the sky. Whenever one of them heard it, they would run to the other.

_You are my sunshine,_

_My only sunshine._

He didn't blame her for getting mad at him. She was having a lot of troubles and naturally one would blame someone else for them. She blamed them on him. It didn't matter to him if she shouted and yelled, for he knew it helped her in the long run to deal with her troubles.

_You make me happy,_

_When stars are blue._

But she should know, that no matter what she did to him, he would never stop loving her the way that he did. She was everything to him, and even when she punched him, tears streaking down her cheeks, her hair in a rumpled mess, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

_You'll never know Bugs,_

_How much I love you._

He felt her stirring and he sat up straight. She breathed in deeply, her chest rising up and down in slow motion when suddenly her eyes flicked open. She smiled sadly up at him before finishing the song.

_So, please don't take my sunshine away._

She sang as she caressed his cheek with her forefinger.

"Welcome back" he said, smiling down at her.

Her eyes suddenly flashed with realization. She sat up straight. "I'm so sorry" she muttered, her eyes wide open like she couldn't what she had done. She placed her hand on his chest as if feeling for wounds. "I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You should know that you're the most important thing to me and if I was in my right mind, I would never hurt you and…"

Nathan grinned at her non-stop chatter. He cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand causing her to pause in mid-sentence. He leaned her head towards him and kissed her softly. He broke off the kiss reluctantly to find her eyes still shut in content.

"Come on, I need to show you something" he said, standing up. He leaned his hand down and without hesitation, she took it.

"You do realize that the chances of me tripping over a tree root and falling flat on my face butt in the air" Haley paused dramatically. "Is highly likely. Given my lack of grace and poise that is" she continued.

Nathan kept his hands over her eyes as he guided her through the woods. "Lack of grace and poise?" he said, in an amused tone. He leaned forward so his breathe tickled her ear. "Could have fooled me".

Haley was glad that he was standing behind her because just then, her cheeks stained a fiery red. She did stumble then and would have fallen if Nathan hadn't been holding onto her.

"But then again, maybe not" he said, with a laugh as he steadied her, temporarily taking his hands off her eyes. She playfully smacked him on the arm. "Hey, I had enough whacks today" he teased, grabbing onto her hand.

Her mood turned serious. "I really am sorry about that" she said, casting her eyes down to the ground, embarrassed and slightly mortified.

"Bugs, I'm just kidding" he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and walking towards his desired destination.

"So, no blindfold?" Haley asked, tentatively.

"Oh yeah! Forget about that" he said, holding his hands over her eyes once more.

"Oh come on, Naty! Do you have any idea how many times you do that?" she said, in mock outrage, her arms whirling out in front of her.

"Yeah, it's only because you told me when we were younger that you loved surprises".

"Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. She turned around so she was walking backwards, his hands still covering her eyes and grinned flirtatiously at him. "What else do you remember about me?"

Nathan laughed nervously, tugging on his shirt collar. He loved the fact that although they had known each other all their lives, they could still act and flirt like strangers.

"I know a lot of things about you" he said, leaning his head nearer to her.

Haley tried to control her laughter. It was pretty ridiculous; here they were hiking through the woods, an hour ago she was sobbing like the world was going to end and here they were using cheesy bar pickup lines.

"Oh, really?" she said, her eyes still covered. She pouted exaggeratedly. "You know all about lil ole me?" she said, biting her nail.

"Shall I prove it?" Nathan asked, softly.

Haley nodded, her heart beating fast, wondering what he was going to do.

"First of all, you haven't seen it in eight years but the first thing, you're going to do is touch the words on the side" Nathan said.

Haley narrowed her eyes in confusion. She suddenly realized that they had stopped walking. "Nathan, what are you…" she couldn't continue the sentence because Nathan spun her around while taking his hands off her eyes.

Haley gaped in shock. It was the last thing she expected to see but the most obvious thing. It was her tree, _their _tree. The one they had spent most of their childhood in, the one where they made their promise to get married. The one she had run to when her parents had died. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten it, it was one of her most prized memories, the hours spent in that tree.

It looked nearly the same as it did all those years ago, maybe it was taller and broader somehow. The bark below the first branches were peeling and the branches were stronger and wider than before. Haley looked up at the treetop and smiled. The tree was still growing the same white flowers it always did, and the sun streaming through the trees still rested its shine upon the top of this tree.

Haley knew it was weird to feel so much affection for a plant but she couldn't help it; it was a big part of her childhood that she would never want to give back. She suddenly rushed towards the front of the tree, feeling a need to prove it, a need to show that their promise was still written somewhere, to show that that moment existed.

She found it almost immediately, it was etched very deeply into the bark that it was unlikely ever to fade. She ran her fingers following the words of the carvings, a lump forming in her throat. She cocked her head, curiously. The words could not be that clear after all these years.

"Nathan, did you carve it out again?" Haley said, softly.

She heard the sound of leaves crunching as Nathan walked up behind her.

"Yes, I came here last week and carved out the words over it to make it clearer" he said, staring at her, wondering what her reaction was. She kept silent, tracing the words written in bark.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked.

She didn't answer, she just turned around and hugged him, leaning her head against his chest. She hugged him tightly, squinting her eyes against the light of the day.

"Haley" he started.

Haley shushed him gently. She opened her eyes, aware of the silence of the woods. "I can hear you heart beating" she said, quietly.

"That's good to know" Nathan joked, pulling her into his arms.

But she pulled away and looked up at him. "If you ever let it stop, I'll kill you" she said, smiling.

"Then you have to promise to never leave again" he replied, rubbing her back with his hand.

She smiled again and pulled completely out of his arms. She looked up at the treetop again, squinting in the glare of the sun.

Nathan grabbed her hand. "I need to show you something".

He pulled to the other side of the tree, where the first branch began. He gestured to it. "Think you can still climb it?" he asked, playfully.

"Please" she said, in mock annoyance, sticking her hand in front of him. "I can climb it in my sleep. I _am _Amazon Girl". She lifted her feet up and placed it on the first branch. She made sure it was steady before putting her whole weight on it. She looked around for another branch and found one above her head. Grabbing onto it, she hoisted herself up. Like that, she made her way up ten feet in the air before looking down at Nathan who was gaping at her. "Coming Hot Shot?" she called out.

Nathan grinned and followed her trail. "Haley, stop at that branch shaped like a spatula" he shouted at her, pointing at a very wide sturdy branch somewhere to Haley's right.

"This one?" Haley asked, before stepping onto it and hugging the tree to keep her from losing her balance. She looked down, and grimaced. She was high up, way high up. She hadn't even noticed how far up she had climbed. She prayed Nathan would get here fast. She saw him climb up to a branch directly below her.

"Hales, move a bit to the right" Haley nudged herself slightly to the right of the branch. Nathan hoisted himself up onto it, recklessly yet not losing his balance for a second. Haley started shaking , images of her free falling through the sky and landing on the ground so far below flitting through her mind. Nathan saw her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Haley wrapped her arms around the tree tighter. Suddenly, Nathan reached up into the branch above them and grabbed a long nylon rope that was wrapped around the branch

Without speaking, he tied the rope around his waist and the other end to the tree trunk.

"Naty, what are you doing?" Haley asked, her voice shaking slightly.

He didn't speak, instead he just slowly unwrapped her arms from around the tree. She slowly turned around so her back was facing the tree trunk and for the first time, she noticed how wide the branch they were standing on was. It was sturdy and as thick as a diving board.

Nathan quickly turned them so he was nearer to the tree trunk and she was on the other side of him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and his other hand entwined with her hand.

"Nathan, what if we fall?" she asked, as they made their way through the end of the branch.

"We won't. I tested it out. Plus, I have this rope around me if I fall. And you know that there's no way I'm letting you fall" he reassured her.

Her shoulders loosened up a bit. They inched another inch nearer to the edge of the branch. Haley held her breathe, bracing herself for the fall. Nathan's arms tightened around her. They steadied themselves and inched another inch. When Nathan was finally satisfied, he whispered in Haley's ear. "Okay, now look".

Haley stopped staring at their feet on the branch and looked at the direction he was pointing at. She gasped again. She had mistaken how high they were up, they were much higher than that. There were no other trees around and they had a clear view of their surroundings. The wind was light and blowing in her direction, making her hair glide slightly to the right.

Below them, they could see the town. The whole town of Tree Hill. Their school, their homes, the River Court, the café. Everything. The sun was darkening and the lamps were slowly lighting up in the town. It was so beautiful, her breathe was caught in her throat. The lighted lamps seemed to form a pattern, creating an amazing setting on the nearly sleeping town.

It seemed like they were gliding through the night. They nearly seemed lightless and free, standing on what seemed like suspended air. Although their feet were on a thick branch, it was almost like standing on nothing at all.

"We're flying Nate" Haley whispered awe struck. "It really feels like we're flying".


	57. The Movement of The Waves

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews, I really love them. They keep me going. Aw, no more one tree hill but I have to admit that I loved season 3 more than season 4 because the naley scenes there were awesome! Anyway, this chapter has a few surprises so I hope you like them. And I'm really glad that some of you liked the Naley scene in the earlier chapter, I thought it would not received well, so thanks! **

The crashing waves hitting against the sharp rocks in the sea seemed to hypnotize her. For a moment, her eyes just seemed to follow their movements as they crashed into one another and eventually moving to the beach as tide. The circle of life, the waves will come and go, one after the other, some leaving their marks on what they left behind, like the waves that hit the big boulders hard, but others, more often than some, left the world without a trace. Like humans that leave the world, with no one to remember them.

_I remember him, _she thought sadly. _I'll always remember him. _

He was always important to her. Probably the most important person to her. Even if she never showed, never told him, she loved him. She would always remember the way his eyes lit up every time he talked about music, the way his fingers moved when he played the guitar, the way his grin would brightened when he teased her. She would always remember the day they met.

Flashback

Rachel Gattina drove her car around town, trying to find a nice boutique or store that she could spend the next hour at. She glanced at her watch. 11.05 am. Her parents would arrive in Tree Hill at 1.00 pm and the airport was half an hour away. Until then she was free. She stopped at a traffic light, cringing at the loud sound that the car made whenever it needed to brake. She hated rental cars, they were old and filthy. God knows how many men had farted on the old seats, spilling their cheesy nachos or mayonnaise covered hamburger all over the dashboard. She mock gagged to her reflection in the rearview mirror when she noticed brown stains on it. She shuddered, she didn't want to know.

She was driving down a busy street when she noticed a parking spot. She didn't really want to hang out in that place but the chances of finding a parking spot in that street was so slim that she decided to use it to her advantage. She parked the car and got out of it, breathing in non-toxic air compared to the stale sweat smelling odor in the car. She saw other cars passing by, the drivers looking for a parking spot. She smirked at them in triumph. Then she glanced up and down the street. _Now what?_

She walked down the street, a weird sight in her designer jeans and halter top compared to the people around her wearing sweaters and overcoats. She laughed at an old lady wearing a hat, gloves and a big brown fur overcoat, the temperature of the air here was nothing compared to that of New York. A gust of wind suddenly blew at her and she shivered, forgetting her gusto. The old lady looked at her and her lips turned upwards in a wide smile. Rachel glared at the lady and walked into the nearest store, trying to ignore the sound of lady's laughter.

Glancing around the posters that covered the walls and the racks of CD's, her brilliant mind put two and two together and came up with a conclusion – she was in a music store. She walked over to a rack and started pursuing the CD's.

"Too old, too punk, too soppy" she muttered as she glanced at the CD's. She suddenly picked up a Gavin DeGraw CD. She was looking at the lists of songs on the back cover when a hand snatched up the CD from her. "Hey!" she yelled.

She looked at the snatcher and found herself staring into the eyes of a scrawny spiky haired guy a few years older than her. He was pursuing the CD just like she had been before he snatched it from her. He glanced up at her after a moment.

"It's not your type" he said, holding up the CD as he back walked to the counter.

She couldn't believe his nerve. She stormed up to him. "I was going to buy that!" she said, loudly as he put the CD on the counter and rang the desk bell.

"Well, you're not anymore" he said as a salesclerk appeared from a back room. "Hey Sam" he nodded at the salesclerk, an acne covered teenager with a swollen nose wearing a Star Trek T-shirt.

'Sam' grinned stupidly at him and picked up the CD, running the price scanner over the price tag. Neon colored numbers appeared on the screen of the cashier.

"Just put it on my tab" the spiky haired guy said as he grabbed the CD without a bag.

"No can do, Chris" Sam spoke up. Rachel jumped, she was expecting a nasal moderate toned voice, and instead the guy had a high pitched girl's voice.

"If you don't pay up, manager said you're not allowed here" Sam continued, pushing up his thick glasses higher on his nose.

"Oh, come on Sam" Chris said, leaning his elbows on the counter. He put his face near Sam's ear. "Then I won't get to see you" he said, softly but Rachel could hear him.

Rachel blinked. 'Chris' was actually openly flirting with another guy, she didn't know him but she didn't peg him to be that kind of person. Although there was nothing wrong with that. _Wait a second _Rachel thought, for the first time noticing Sam's long eyelashes and slightly curvy body. _Sam was a girl!_

Slightly taken back, she kept silent as she watched Sam giggle and gave him the CD without taking money from him. Sam let out a little wave as Chris blew her a kiss and exited the store.

"Can I help you?" Sam asked, just noticing that Rachel was staring at her. Rachel blinked then look at the door of the store with a dazed look. Suddenly a light bulb went on in her

head and she ran out of the store.

"Redheads" Sam muttered before taking out a pocket mirror from her handbag. Examining herself, she looked to see if there was anything stuck in her teeth. Suddenly she grinned. "No wonder guys love you" she said, admiring herself in her reflection.

Rachel stopped outside the store, looking left and right for him. She didn't really care about the CD; she just didn't want anyone to think that they could mess with her. She spotted him a few metres away in her left. She stormed up to him.

"Hey. Hey!" she called out. When he didn't turn around, she poked him on the shoulder. "I'm talking to you".

He turned around and grinned at her. Taken aback by his friendly smile, she kept silent. For the first time, she noticed how good looking he was. He had light brown eyes that twinkled with humor and wavy brown hair that looked windswept.

"Can I help you?" he asked, rudely, the smile still intact.

Rachel's anger instantly came back. "Yes, you took a CD that I was going to buy and I want it back!"

"Why didn't you buy another one just like it?" he asked, an eyebrow lifted.

"I-I" Rachel stammered. Truth be told, she didn't think of looking for another copy. She just wanted the copy he stole from her.

"Why didn't you?" she yelled at him, throwing her arms up.

"Why didn't you?" he asked, again keeping calm.

"Look, stop being a jerk and give it back! I saw it first!"

"I bought it, which in this state, it means it belongs to me!" he yelled, feigning anger.

"You snatched it from me!"

"You didn't snatch it back!"

"Because I'm not an inconsiderable jerk!"

"Are you sure?!"

"You don't know me!"

"I'd liked to!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Have coffee with me and you'll find out!"

"Are you asking me on a date?!"

"Maybe I am!"

Rachel blinked, suddenly confused. "You're asking me on a date?" she asked again.

He shrugged, a grin slowly forming on his face. "Yes".

Her eyes widened then she grinned back. "I'm not your type" she said repeating his earlier words while back walking away.

"You don't know that" he said.

She turned around and walked away from him, smiling despite herself.

"I'll give you the CD" he called out. She stopped short. She considered the offer, she would get the CD back, that would mean she won and she liked winning.

She turned around and stared at him. "Okay".

He seemed to be expecting the answer and walked up to her. Unexpectedly, her heart started beating. He extended his hand out and after a moment of hesitation, she took it. "I'm Rachel Gattina".

He grinned at her. "Chris Keller".

End of Flashback

Rachel sat hunched, her head resting on her knees. She grabbed a handful of sand and let it escape out of her hands. She remembered every moment they spent together. More than half of the time, they spent it fighting and arguing over every small detail. But she was never happier than when they yelled at each other, it was their idea of spending time with each other.

He was trying to make it big as a solo artist and musician. He spent most of his time with her or in a studio, recording songs he had written. But nobody would take him up; it was too big a risk for recording studios to spend millions of bucks on a nobody. So, he had to take a job at Dan Scott Motors to pay for his bills.

After months of working at Dan Scott Motors and playing at various clubs on weekends, with her cheering him on in the audience, someone finally noticed him. That someone was Charles Malone who was the manager of some of the biggest bands around. He asked Chris to come to L.A to start his career as a singer.

When Chris told Rachel that he was moving to L.A, they had their first real fight. She didn't want him to leave her, and he told her that their long distance relationship would work. They ended up splitting up for a week. Rachel depressed and in anger had decided to make Chris jealous. She tried to hit on Nathan, but he didn't seem interested and Chris just laughed at her when he found out. So, she kissed Lucas.

Flash Back

Rachel stumbled along the path, giggling to herself as she held her figure up straight. The events that had occurred recently had troubled her. So she did what she always did when she was troubled, she got drunk.

Her mind was filled with images of Brooke's face when she saw her kissing her boyfriend. She felt a wave of guilt; she didn't mean to hurt anybody, she knew how it felt to have the person you love betray you.

A wave of nausea hit her and she ran towards the nearest bushes, closing her mouth with her hand. As soon as she reached the grassy patch, she bent down, placing her hands on her knees and vomited. She clutched her stomach, while puking, tears streaming down her eyes. She choked back a sob and raised her head, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. She steadied herself on her feet and tried to walk with shaky legs. She had barely gone five feet when she tripped and landed flat on her butt. She let out a cry of pain as the momentum of the fall sent waves of pain through her body.

She sucked in her top lip, trying hard not to cry. The attempt was in vain for the tears flowed naturally again. She pulled in her knees and rested her head on her kneecaps. Her shoulders heaved as she sobbed her cries barely audible as she stifled them by hiding her face. She thought of Chris and sobbed even harder. He was leaving her, going to be a big star. He would never remember her after the fame had gotten to his head.

She could hear the sound of the leaves crunching as someone approached her. She wrapped her arms around her head, not wanting the intruder to see her. She tried to silence her tears but the sniffles that came after was even harder to control. She prayed that the newcomer would just leave her; she could practically see him staring at her, intruding on her sadness. She could feel his eyes burning into her. Her sadness gave way to anger and she lifted her head to glare at the stranger.

Her intentional outburst at the intruder died on her lips when she found herself staring at his familiar brown eyes, normally crinkled with amusement but now staring at her with concern. They stared into each other's eyes; hers red rimmed from crying and his filled with sadness; and for once words weren't necessary. Her heart was beating against her chest loudly but she couldn't break away. If she knew the outcome of their lives in the next 24 hours, she would have forever hung on to that moment and never let go.

His mouth suddenly curved upwards in a smile and he put out his hand for her. She hesitated then grabbed on to it. He pulled her up and their eyes locked again as she straightened up in front of him. She tried to read him, try to ask him if he was leaving her. She also needed him to know how much he meant to her.

She was about to open her mouth and speak when he pulled her into his arms. His hands let go of hers and wrapped around her waist. She put her hands around his neck and hugged him tight.

And even though they hadn't spoken, they had still said it all.

End of Flashback

The next day, Chris Keller was involved in a car crash and died. And just like that, her life was over.

Rachel Gattina bent her head down at wept.

Haley leaned heavily against Nathan's shoulder. She was so tired, the day seemed to last a week, and she could hardly believe that it was just a few hours ago that she had found out about Nagume. The heavy load in her heart had lightened and though it sank when she remembered that the cause of her comfort was leaving for a week with his father, she was grateful that they had at least spent the past few hours together. _Nathan, _she thought dreamil_y _she stared up at him.

Just his name alone could give her goose bumps. It was a wonderful feeling to be in love. It was also scary to need someone as much as Haley James needed Nathan Scott. She couldn't get enough of him no matter how much time they spent together. She squeezed his arm tightly, as they cross the lighted road. He looked down at her and smiled. Unable to stop herself, she yawned, covering her hand with her mouth.

"Are you implying something, James?" Nathan asked, teasingly as he guided her past the row of stores on the street. Many of the stores were closed but occasionally, a few of them would be lighted and people would be crowding around in them.

"I'm sorry" she said, yawning again. "Long day" she said, leaning her head on his arm, for she couldn't reach his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head, and they continued walking along the streets.

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow for a week. You dad doesn't mind you're skipping a whole week of school?" Haley asked.

"The only thing he minds now, is that I like mom more than him" he breathed heavily, shaking his head as he walked.

"Have you heard from her?" Haley asked, lifting her head up to stare up at him.

Nathan shook his head again. He bit his lip and sighed. "I don't understand what could've happened to make her just leave like that" he shrugged. "Was it Dan? Or maybe it was me?"

"Nathan, your mum loves you. I'm sure she'll come back soon, there's no way she would abandoned you like that" Haley reassured him, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

Nathan nodded, and then ran his hand through his hair. Haley took it as a sign that he didn't want to talk about it. She changed the subject, saying softly "I'm going to miss you".

Nathan's body language changed slightly but Haley could tell it did. He tensed up slightly and she could hear his heart pounding as her head was pressed against his arm. He opened his mouth and let out an embarrassed laugh. "Could I… call you everyday?" he asked, nervously.

She laughed, color rising to her cheeks. "You better" she said, mock threatening.

"Can I call you twice a day?" he asked, sheepishly. He needed to talk to her as much as he could. He had this idea that if he was gone, Haley might find someone better than him. Out of sight, out of mind. He had no idea what she saw in him, and didn't want to even risk losing her.

She tried to ignore the heaviness in her heart as she recalled a whole week without him. Looking up at him again, her breathe caught in her throat. No matter how many times he looked at him, she couldn't get used to how handsome he was. He caught her staring and glanced down at her.

"Can you not go?" she asked, sadly, staring into his deep blue eyes.

Lucas was sitting in the café; the coffee in front of him had turned cold a long time ago. The café was empty except for a bored waitress filing her nails while sitting on the counter. Lucas stared at the coffee, but in reality thinking about something completely unrelated. He stirred the coffee with a plastic spoon, watching it swirl. He tried to get obsessed with the task, so he could stop thinking about _her _for just a moment.

But the task was in vain. The swirls of the coffee only made him think of her brown eyes. He bit his lip and sighed. He couldn't even think of her in that sense, for she would never belong to him. He had no idea how these feelings got started, maybe it was loneliness after he broke up with Brooke, maybe it was all the time they had spent together realizing that they had so much in common. There was no denying he still had feelings for Brooke, but _she _had a piece of his heart now. He knew she never saw him in that sense; she was in love with someone else.

He saw a flash of color moving in front of him, outside the window of the café. He looked up and saw them walking hand in hand down the street, oblivious to his presence. He stared at _her_, his eyes filled with longing and sadness. He watched as she turned towards the guy she was with and kissed him on the mouth. Lucas's heart constricted with anger and jealously. He couldn't watch and yet he couldn't peel his eyes away from her, the one he wanted more than anyone in the world. Just her name alone could make his heart beat fast.

Haley James.

**So, what do you think? Loved it, Hated it?**


	58. I Can See

**Hey! Sorry for the mistake, here's the proper chapter. Oh, just for your information, Chris was the one who died in Nathan's car. I would like to thank the people who sent really long reviews, because of those reviews, I tried to finish the chapter as fast as I could. And I am going to tell another person the secret so please review if you want to know. Enjoy!**

Haley's POV

I can see it. He tries to hide it but I can see it. I can see it all.

I can see him trying to sleep as the light of the day fades into night, I can see him closing his eyes then immediately opening them as if in that short period of time, images of everything he feared of came rushing to him. And eventually when his fear gives way to exhaustion and he manages to fall asleep, I can see him twisting and turning in bed, until he finally wakes up in cold sweat. I can see him retching in front of the toilet, until all he feels is emptiness, then lying on the cool tiled floor, too weak and tired to move away. Most of all, I can see the pain in his eyes, as he tries to comprehend the finality of it all, the finality of seeing your own self die. The finality of everything that used to matter…..just doesn't anymore.

I stand in the shadows the night always brings, and just stare down at him. He is lying in bed, twisting and turning, attempting to break free of the sheets that tie him down like ropes. He is muttering something under his breath and he sounds scared. This terrifies me more than anything else. For all the years I have known him, I have never seen him afraid of anything. A lonely tear escapes my eye and I brush it away. I didn't want to be weak; I had to be strong for him.

I walk towards Nagume and look down at him. He continues to twist and turn around the sheets, mumbling. He has managed to get rid of the sheets, but he still fidgets on the bed. His movements are aggressive and I tremble at the thought of what dreams he could be having. As I walk towards him, I manage to catch a word he is mumbling. I think he is saying 'goodbye'.

His body is drenched in sweat and I place my hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. It's a difficult feat to do, for he was moving so much. His forehead felt surprisingly cool to my warm hand. As I stare at him, I can see goose bumps forming on his arms. He is shivering in the chill of the night. I struggle once more to control the tears that threaten to fall. I take a deep breath and slip into the bed next to him. I throw the covers over us, with the hope of giving him warmth.

I wrapped my arms around him and hold him tight. I try to stop him from moving but he continues to fidget aggressively. He accidentally hits me with his flaying hand and I take the blow to my cheek. I ignore the pain and instead hold him tighter. His movements slow down and he stops shivering. The tears are running down my cheeks now and I never want to let go off him. He was still twisting and turning so I tightened my grip on him and sobbed.

I woke up some hours later, the other side of the bed empty. Images of seeing him passed out in the driveway rushed through my mind as I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs, screaming his name.

"Nagume!" I shouted. "Nagume". My voice cracks. I can't take anymore, I just can't. My strength seems to dissipate. I realized at that moment how much I needed Nathan right then. He was the only one that would make everything better. My heart tightens as I think of him.

"I'm in here" a familiar voice called out from the kitchen and thoughts of Nathan disappeared from my mind.

I ran towards the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief. Nagume was standing at the stove, an apron tied around his waist, looking very domestic.

"I thought something terrible happened to you," I said, cradling my head in the palm of my hand. My heart slowly returned too normal pace and I felt some warmth creep into my body once again. I walked over to the kitchen counter, and stared at Nagume, who was breaking eggs into a bowl.

"I didn't know you cooked," I said; suspiciously as I sat down in the kitchen stool.

Nagume shrugged. "Well, you had a lot of cook books and I had a lot of time" he expertly poured the eggs into a bowl. I grinned at the sight of him; he was such a guy's guy, it was funny to see him cook.

"What's with the face ?" he asked me, as he flipped the omelet over.

"Wh-What?" I asked, still smiling. I shook my head. "It's nothing," I snorted as I saw him sprinkle some salt into the pan.

"You making fun of me?" he asked, in mock-hurt but a twinkle in his eyes.

"Nope, not now. Maybe after I taste you food," I teased. His mouth dropped and his eyes widen. Then he grinned, and flipped the omelet again for good measure.

"Got any sausages?" he asked me. I dropped down from the stool and made my way to the fridge. I peered into the freezer and got out a packet of sausages. Placing it next to him, I said, "I happen to make the best hot chocolate in the world, you know".

"Hah!"

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, as I stuck my head into a cabinet and grabbed two mugs.

"I recall the last time I had your hot chocolate," he said, dropping the sausages into the second frying pan.

I burst out laughing. "Hey! You deserve that," I said, washing the mugs in the sink.

"I can't remember the sequence of events that lead to that particular incident," he said, frowning as he tried to remember.

"It was the time that Uncle Keith left for Europe and you were baby sitting me," I said, watching the smile creep onto his face as he slowly started to remember.

"And you forced me to do to…horrible horrible things" I said, shuddering.

He snorted. "I made you do your homework".

I brushed away his sentence. "Details, dude. Then I decided to give you a treat and make you some hot chocolate because you took care of me so well" I said, sarcastically.

His nose crinkled. "What was it made of anyway?".

"Mud and the water from the river" I said, smugly.

"And I drank it!" Nagume said, as if he couldn't believe his own ears. "You let me drink it".

"Well, all in the past, Gumie" I said, using his pet name, the one he hated. "Now, you have to taste my real hot chocolate. Nathan says it's awesome," I said as I prepared to make the drink.

"Well, that's love, Lili. I'm likely to be more honest," he said, using the pet name I hated. He grabbed two plates from a cabinet and placed the food onto it. I poured the hot chocolate into the two mugs and placed them on the kitchen table. He placed the plates in front of the two chairs. We both sat down and I smiled at him, daringly. He lifted the mug to his lips and sniffed it carefully as I loaded a spoon with omelet and sausages. We looked at each other expectadly then I stuffed the spoon into my mouth the same time he took a big gulp of my hot chocolate.

There was a long silence as we just stared at each other. Then our eyes bulged and we both covered out mouths, as if trying not to puke. I ran towards the sink the same time he ran towards the fridge. I washed my mouth the same time he loaded chocolates into his mouth. The taste of the food was still in my mouth so I ran to the fridge and pushed him aside, grabbing a loaf of bread and sinking my teeth into it. I turned around to stare at him. His tongue was sticking out and his eyes were crossed yet he still looked extraordinarily handsome.

"That good?" I teased him.

He couldn't answer. He just shook his head.

"I didn't think so," I said, grinning.

Brooke sat down in front of her dressing table, staring at her reflection. Her eyes warily scanned her face for evidence of a restless night. She slowly picked up her hairbrush and ran in through her long dark brown hair. Her mother had always told her that she should give her hair a hundred strokes daily. It was probably one of the few conversations they had together. She smiled at her reflection but it didn't reach her empty eyes.

Her hand suddenly faltered as her eye caught something stuck to the side of the mirror. She hadn't realized that it was still there, for it was hidden behind a vase of flowers. She moved the vase and picked up the picture. It was a very beautiful picture, one of her favorites actually. It was taken in the back yard of her home and the sprinklers had suddenly come on. _He_ had set up the camera and they had run around, squeling like idiots as they tried not to get wet. He had run to her and grabbed her just as the camera snapped.

She brushed away a stray tear and put down the picture. She looked at herself and realized that she was trembling. She buried her head in her hands and tried to steady herself. Finally, she raised her head and her reflection potrayed her teary eyes. As if by chance, she saw something through the mirror that caught her breathe.

It was a box, taped over the entrance so it was difficult to open. The box was strategically placed underneath her desk, and placed for most of the time out of sight. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves. She didn't want to end up an alcoholic. She had spent enough time, hiding behind the banisters of the stairs, watching her parents finish a bottle of liquor, their tone of conversation slowly changing from pleasant to aggressive. The sound of glass breaking seemed to be the soundtrack of her life during that period of time.

But the image of Lucas Scott kissing another girl seemed permanently stuck to her mind and it drove her to the curse of the bottle. Being high for a bit eased the pain at the beginning but too many mornings having woken up to no recollection of the night before had forced her to rethink her lifestyle. She can now proudly say that she hadn't had a drink in 8 days.

Right now, her strength disappeared as she stared at the box of liquor. Her mind weighed the pros and cons of one drink. The seconds seem to tick by as the sight of the box hypnotized her. It would be so much easier, juts one drink and maybe she could smile and get through the day easier.

_No, I can't _she thought, her hands curling into fists._ Important things to do today. _She stood up and gave her reflection one last look. She was wearing a red halter-top and brown Capri pants. Over the halter-top, she draped a black scarf under her right arm and it flowed over her left one. She grabbed her purse and walked purposely out of the room, her mind thinking of her to do list of the day. She had done some deep thinking and soul searching the past few days and she finally made her decision. She wanted the past to become the future and her heart had realized what it wanted.

On the top of her list was _get Lucas Scott back._

"Nagume! Where did you put my school bag?" Haley yelled, as she scanned the living room.

"I didn't touch it" Nagume called from the kitchen, the sound of plates clanking and water rushing out of the tap barely audible as he continued to sing at the top of his voice. "What a wonderful world" he sang, out of tune.

Haley laughed softly then pushed all the cushions off one of the couches. She let out a frustrated sigh. "I can't find it," she yelled back, looking around the room, critically.

"Try the closet near the front door," he said, as he finally stopped singing.

Haley groaned and made her way to the front door. "Why would it be there?" she mumbled to herself. "He just wants to annoy me and make me ran all around the house, looking for it and then he would not tell me where it is until I give him a foot massage and then…" she stopped grumbling as she stared down at her school bag that was placed on the floor of the closet, glowing as if a spotlight was lighted on. She stared at it in shock then grabbed it and slammed the closet close.

She jumped a few feet backwards in surprise as Nagume's grinning face appeared from behind the closet door.

"Did you find it?" he asked, his smile clearly stating that he had heard every word she had said.

"It-It was in the living room" she lied, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder.

"Liar" he said, sticking his tongue out at her.

"It was," she said, indignantly, recovering from her shock.

He turned around, swinging the dish rag onto his shoulder. He waved his hand behind him as if to brush her off. "Whatever".

She laughed then said "Let's continue this argument after school. I'm late already".

He turned around to face her as she swung open the front door. "Bye" he said, giving her a wave even though she couldn't see it as her back was to him.

She hesitated in the doorway of the house then turned around and ran to him. She threw her arms around him and hugged him. Pulling away, she wiped a tear as she smiled at him. Then she ran out of the front door, so he wouldn't hear her sob

Lucas Scott had spent a considerable time staring at the mirror, making sure he looked good. He was wearing a black shirt and light brown khaki shorts, as the weather had been a little warmer than usual. His hair was spiked up and he looked like a model for The GAP as he made his way to school.

He looked at his watch then sped up his pace. He was late, which didn't bode well for him. He was normally punctual but he hadn't felt like himself lately. He had taken the longer route to school but far more convenient one for it brought him past Haley's house. He knew he should stop thinking about her but he couldn't help it. The heart wanted what it wanted and right then, it wanted Haley James.

He was scared of his depth of feelings for her. His mind constantly replayed his memories of her and he went over every detail of the time they had spent together, trying to pick up clues that might indicate that she was into him. He knew it was an impossible dream, that she would actually ever like him when she was madly in love with his brother but it was his dream nonetheless.

He couldn't sleep last night as he tried to imagine how great life would be with her by his side. Holding her in his arms, joking around as they argued about favorite authors, talking for hours with no sign of stopping. He bit his lip and ran his hand through his blond hair, his mind screaming at his heart to shut up. He suddenly made a decision, no more thinking about her. He would do it for his brother, his only family.

He looked in front of himself and groaned. How on Earth was he supposed to stop thinking about her when she was walking right in front of him?

How'd you like it? 


	59. Unrequited Love

The sunlight seemed to be pinpointed on one spot. Its rays shined on her and she seemed to move with the energy of its glow. Her hair reflected the beauty of the morning as it shone with the rays of the sun and every step she took, the sun followed. It's like its sole purpose was to shine down on her, to illuminate her beauty. She had her own spotlight but that proved unnecessary. She glowed on her own.

Lucas's body seemed to move to its own accord. His eyes seemed to be the only organ that was still sending information to the brain and even that was isolated to only one topic: Haley James. He took in every movement, every sway, and every step she took. The way her feet clad in running shoes barely lifted off the ground before it took another step because of the rapid strides she took to make up for her short legs. The way she cocked her head to the left delicately, the way she moved her arms by her sides gracefully.

His heart seemed to stop, yet he was hardly aware of it. A grown man in a diaper crying while shaking a tiny rattle could have walked past him and he doubted he would have given him a first notice. His eyes were glued to her like a fat kid's mouth to a bar of chocolate. All he wanted to do was stare at her, unseen, unnoticed. After all there was nothing wrong with staring. What is the saying? 'Can see, can't touch'.

After all his brother couldn't feel betrayed when all he did was watch her. Most people would think he was watching out for her. Who knows how many people get attacked or robbed in broad daylight in front of a dozen other people walking about? _For all I know, the number of people who do has increased since the last time I checked _Lucas reassured himself. _And Nathan won't want her to get hurt. So I'm actually doing him a favor. _

_No, you're not. Stop lying to yourself _the little voice in his head argued. _Nathan would skin you alive if he knew how you felt about her. _

_I don't have the hots for her _Lucas lied stiffly. _She's just a friend._

_Just walk away before you get hurt _the little voice retorted._ And you're bound to be, you're too thin-skinned._

_Leave me alone. You're not helping._

_It's the truth. Face it._

_Shut up._

_You shut up._

"Ouch!" a voice that did not come from his head seemed to bring him back to reality. He felt a fleeting pain in his foot and glanced down at the figure a few feet in front of him that was rubbing the back of her leg gingerly.

"Haley!" Lucas blinked. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there" he gaped at her. Her smile came out as a wince as she lifted the hem of her jeans to see the damage. He realized that he had been gawking at her and hastily looked away. He pretended to bend down to check if he stubbed his toe. He grimaced in pain slightly when he touched his toe.

_Told you you'll get hurt _the little voice in his head taunted.

_Shut up!_

"I think I'll live" a feminine voice teased. Lucas shot up straight and stared at Haley who was smiling at him.

"Huh?" he said, stupidly.

Haley laughed kindly. She pointed at her leg where he had collided with her. "No bruises, no scars and I don't think I lost too much blood". She bent down to grab her books and bag off the ground.

Lucas grinned slowly. "Are you sure? Do you feel dizzy or faint?" he said, in mock concern.

Haley rose slowly. She swayed on the spot slowly before raising her hand to feel her head. She bit her lip "I think I'm fine" she said, unsure. Then she brightened. "At least if I pass out, I can sue you for abuse". She grinned at him and started walking.

Lucas laughed and fell in step with her. He tried to keep his eyes glued to the front and not let it shift to her beside him. He felt like he had been given one shot to make her fall madly in love with him and tried to think of the perfect topic to accomplish that. _School? No. Books? No. Nathan? No!. _

"Guess what?" she suddenly exclaimed in joy. "I finally watched the full trilogy of Lord of the Rings yesterday" she gave a whoop and pumped her fist in the air like she had just won the Nobel Prize.

"Lord of the Rings?" Lucas asked, his eyebrow raised. "Why Lord of the Rings?".

Haley shrugged. "Nathan told me it was one of his favorite movies so I wanted to watch it for him".

_Stupid question _Lucas chastised himself. _Now you reminded her of him. _He struggled to think of something to say.

"The books were nice" he said, awkwardly.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "You never watched the movies?" she asked, with a flash of insight.

Lucas shook his head no. Her eyes widened and she smiled. "This is so great! Now, we can watch them together. I wouldn't mind watching them again".

Lucas's spirits rose. The idea of watching a movie with her, no make that three movies with her each three hours long alone was enough to make him jump for joy. Maybe once it was just him and her, she would see how she felt about him.

"And Nathan would love to watch it with us too!" she continued cheerily. Lucas groaned inwardly. He struggled to think of something to divert the conversation from Nathan.

"Books?" he muttered softly. Haley looked at him quizzically. "Boo- Have you read any good books recently?" he covered up quickly.

Haley smiled. "Define good?" she laughed when she saw his puzzled expression. "Nathan is making me read 'Basketball Statistics 1990-2007'. The best book he's ever read!" she said, throwing her hands in the air to exaggerate her point.

"More like the only book" Lucas scoffed meanly. He immediately regretted saying that. Haley's expression turned from cheery to shock. She looked down to cover her face but Lucas saw the loyalty flashing in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it as an insult" Lucas covered up. "Me and Nathan...We always joke about my love of reading and his lack of it".

Haley nodded slowly but didn't look convince. They walked on in silence as Lucas struggled to think of someway to fix things. His mind went blank for the first time in his life. He kept his head bent down, ashamed

"You know, I've been pretty selfish recently".

Lucas's head snapped back up as her soft voice broke the silence. He glanced at her quizzically. She met his glance than turned away and stared in front of her.

"I-I've been so wrapped up in myself that I haven't really given much thought to the people around me" she continued, biting her lip clearly worried about the lack of concern on her part.

Lucas raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked, perplexed. "As far as I can tell, you're the most..." he broke off, aware that his voice had gone a tone too soft and that continuing that sentence would reveal too much.

Haley seemed unaware that he had suddenly trailed off. She seemed to be wrapped up in her own thoughts, a personal battle going on in her head. Finally she gave in and said in an unsure voice "Lucas... are you okay?"

He automatically raised his hand and ruffled his hair. It was a habit of his- something he did every time he was in a awkward position. Or every time someone asked him about himself which put him in an awkward position. Being an only child for the first few years of his life and having the only person he ever loved, his mother snatched from his life has made him cautious of getting too close to anyone. He was more of a loner than anything else. Even with Nathan, he never let his guard down.

A thought suddenly hit him. As he mulled over it, he realized how much it bothered him. If it was true, then he had just made a terrible mistake.

"Lu-Lucas?" a voice called out concerned. He snapped out of his thoughts to see Haley waving her hand vigorously in front of his eyes.

"Sorry, spaced out for a sec" he said, sheepishly.

Haley nodded. She hesitated then gathering her courage she blurted out "How are things with you and Brooke?" in a casual tone.

Lucas sucked in his breath. It was clear to her than nothing she said could have surprised him more. But she couldn't help herself; she needed to know. She had spent too long wrapped up in her love life with Nathan while one of her best friends was miserable.

"We're...we're um" he stumbled. "Pretty non-existent actually" he said, letting out a nervous laugh.

"But don't you still want to be with her?" Haley pressed on.

Lucas ruffled his hair again. And then once more. He looked to the right and then behind him, like a trapped animal. Grabbing the neck of his shirt, he let out a nervous cough.

Then he turned his attention to the front and nearly yelled "We're here".

Haley looked at the direction he was staring at and saw their school standing in front of them in all its glory, the brown paint peeling of its walls and the broke glass in every other window. Students were standing around the front courtyard, hanging out but they all surged to the front door when a bell sounded indicating first period.

"Oh shoot, we're late" Haley muttered as she glanced at Lucas before speeding up to the school's front doors. Lucas let out a sigh of relief and followed her, glad that the topic of discussion was over. He glanced at her, as she tried to cut through the throng of people crowded in the door, her dainty frame getting thrown from side to side. He felt a sudden urge to protect her, so strong that he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him. He didn't let go as he helped her pass through crowd and he didn't let go even after that.

As she gently pulled her hand out of his grasp, smiling up at him in thanks, his heart swelled and he wondered how he was ever going to get over her.

---------------------------------------------------

Brooke stood in front of her locker, smiling at her little mirror tapped to the inside of her locker. She scanned her front teeth for any lipstick marks then reapplied her dark red lipstick. She pinned her hair up, scrutinized it then let it down again. She tried a few more hair styles then just settled on her original one.

She suddenly turned her head towards the end of the hallway and her heart sped up when she saw _him. _He was walking towards his locker, his hands tucked in his pockets and his hair messed up. He looked adorable, like the man in her dreams. She tried to control her racing heart by taking a few deep breaths. Just before she shut her locker door, she let her eyes linger on the photos glued on just below her little mirror. It was of them taken in a photo booth in the mall. She let her finger trace every little photo slowly then with a quick movement she closed the door and turned around.

Every little step she took that brought her closer to him seemed to add to the speed of the beating of her heart. She couldn't help notice every movement he made, the way his shirt lifted up every time he breathed, the way his strong arms moved as he tried to look for a certain book. She suddenly felt nervous. So nervous, her hand started trembling. But she kept walking towards him; the only thought in her mind was how those arms of his felt around her and oh! how she longed to be in them again.

"Hey, Broody" she said, softly as she reached him. He glanced up from his locker and looked at him. He took a moment to acknowledge her presence and he blinked. Then his eyes welled up with recognition.

"Hey, Brooke" he greeted her nonchalantly. He seemed unable to add anything to the conversation so he smiled at her before looking in his locker again.

"So, I've been thinking lately" Brooke said, slowly. "About us".

Lucas kept his head tucked in his locker. He prayed she wouldn't see the end of his ears slowly turning red and the look of shame in his eyes.

"And" she paused, wondering how to tell him. He felt her eyes burning into him and his head slowly turned to face her. She caught his bright blue eyes and her heart skipped a beat. "I miss you".

"Brooke" Lucas started as he closed his locker door and gave her his full attention.

"I know I've been too sensitive but now I realize that all I want is to be with you" she continued talking at a high pace, her eyes filled with anticipation.

"Brooke, I'm sorry" he said, softly but she didn't hear him.

"And I'm going to trust you again because I know-..." she paused, as she suddenly realized that he had said something. "What?" she said, frowning at him, trying to make sense of what he had said.

Lucas reached his hand for her but she backed up a step, confused. He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm really sorry" he repeated as he grabbed his knapsack off his floor. "We can still be..."

"Don't you say that, Lucas Scott" Brooke broke in, angrily. She backed up one more step. "Don't you say that when you know it isn't true".

"I don't know what you want me to say, Brooke" he said, wearily.

"What I want you to say?" she asked. She shook her head at him. "Right now, just goodbye".

He adjusted his bag on his shoulder and looked at the floor nervously. Then he met her eyes for one last brief moment. "Goodbye, Brooke" he walked away taking with him the broken shards of her heart.

She waited until he left and all the other students hanging around went to class. She could feel the eyes filled with sympathy and the mouths filled with gossip of every student who passed her. She had no doubt that most of them had heard the conversation between Lucas and her. It would be in the school website before eight in the morning.

She waited until the hallway was empty before she crumpled against the locker doors and cried softly to herself before retiring to the last cubicle in the girl's bathroom.

Haley walked up the stairs to the school roof. As always, the beauty of her surroundings caught her breath. She walked around the fountain in the middle and made her way to a bench in one side of the roof. She took out her hand phone and immediately dialed the one person she always wanted by her side.

"_Hey"_ Haley brightened at the sound of his voice, then immediately sighed sadly. _"You've reached Nathan Scott and I'm not free right..."_

"_You're not free?"_ she heard a new familiar voice in the phone. _"You're playing video games for god's sake"._

"_Shut up, Hales"_ Nathan said affectionately. _"Anyway, just leave a message and...Hales! Give me back my phone!"._

"_Hi, you have just reached Nathan Scott's hand phone. He is right now too busy to answer the phone because he is trying to fit as many peanuts up his nose..."._

"_Very mature, Hales."_

_Loud laughter in the distance._

"_Stop tickling me, you moron! Nathan! Stop"._

Beep

"Hi, Nate" Haley said. "Just call me when you get this. It's Haley by the way" she said, as she hung up the phone disappointedly.

She looked down at her ground, staring at the beautiful blue flowers near her feet. Her eyes trailed the line of flowers and it ended up near the fountain, the same point each line of different colored flowers ended. The lines of flowers swirled around one another and the array of colors brightened her mood a little. But still, she let out a sigh of dismay as she pushed herself to her feet and made her way to the door of the stairs.

Her hand phone suddenly vibrated in her hand and she looked at the caller Id expectedly.

"Hey Bugs".


	60. Does It Always Make Me Cry?

**I am so so sorry I took months to upsate but I've been so busy with exams and stuff. But another reason to why I didn't update in a while was because the last couple of chapter didn't get much reviews and I thought I would update my other stories. I hope I didn't lose my readers. Anyway, the more reviews, the faster the updates. Enjoy!**

"Hey Bugs".

"Hi" I said softly into the phone. I choked back the sob that threatened to escape my throat.

"Don't cry, Hales".

"I'm not" I said but oh, how much he knew me.

"It'll be okay" he said although I wondered how he believed that.

I kept silent and covered my eyes with my hand. The tears were rolling silently down my face and I struggled to keep my sobs silent. I didn't want him to hear me cry. I knew how much he hated it when I cried because he felt as if he failed to protect me. Especially when I cried miles away from him and he knew he wasn't by my side.

"Please stop crying, Haley" he said painfully.

"How do you know I'm crying?" I said, trying my best to make my voice sound normal.

"You think I have to see you to know how you feel?"

Despite the situation, I laughed. He always knew the right things to say to me.

"I wish you didn't make me go on this trip" he said, regretfully.

"I'm glad you did" I said. "You needed to spend time with your father" I grinned. "Plus, I think you needed your space; you were getting kind of sick of me".

He laughed. "As if that would ever happen".

We fell silent. One of the most incredible thing that Nathan and I shared was we were able to just sit with each other in comfortable silent, not saying a thing but yet knowing exactly what the other person was thinking. Even on the phone, miles apart, I knew what was going on his mind.

"Just say the word, Bugs and I'll be there" he said, breaking the silence.

"No, Naty".

He sighed as I could picture him running his hand through his hair. I knew that he hated listening to other people and the only exception was me. Still, right then he hated what I had to say.

"Where are you, Naty?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"A gas station about thirty miles off Tree Hill. Dan's busy chatting up this woman he met near the gas pumps" Nathan answered, his tone disgust.

The way he said it, I knew that he wanted me to change the subject. "I miss you".

He smiled on the other end of the receiver. I could see his eyes light up and I could tell he was fingering the chain around his neck. Inside the locket of the chain were two pictures. On the left side was a picture of us when we were six, lying down on the couch of my living room wearing identical pajamas, his arms wrapped around me as we snuggled under the blanket. On the right side was another picture of us, this time eleven years later in the exact position.

"I miss you too".

I raised my hand to finger my chain too. My mother had bought us identical chains when we were seven and had put the first picture in it. A couple of weeks ago, I put the second picture in. I don't know about Nathan but I always wore the chain. Even when I was in Africa. It made me feel that although we were miles apart and things were hard, none of it mattered because we would be together in the end. And that was the most important thing of all.

Mouth McFadden walked along the hallways, a microphone in his hand alongside his two best friends, Junk and Jimmy Edwards.

"Okay, Desert Island game. Five movies?" Junk was asking Jimmy.

"That's easy. Star Wars Phantom Menace, Star wars..." Jimmy trailed on but Mouth wasn't listening. He had just seen a familiar figure walk out of the girl's bathroom, her head low and her shoulders slumped. She was making her way through the crowd to the school's front doors.

"I'll see you guys later" Mouth said as he jogged over to the brunette. He bumped a few people but ignored their annoyed remarks. "Brooke! Brooke" he yelled but she gave no inclination to have heard him except that she walked faster.

"Brooke" he said as he caught up with her. He placed his hand on her arm and she stopped walking. "What's wrong?" he stopped short as she slowly turned to face him, her eyes red and face stained with tears.

She gave him a weary smile. He opened his arms and she fell into them, miserable. She didn't sob but she welcomed his open arms. He smelled so familiar and so steady.

"Oh, little one" he said, tightening his grip on her. He looked left and right before saying "Let's get out of here".

Brooke raised her head. "Out of school?" her eyebrows raised and she looked puzzled. "But you never skip".

"First time for everything" he said, walking towards the front doors, holding her hand in his.

They walked on in silence away from their school. When they had finally reached an empty bench alongside the main road, they stopped. Without speaking, they sat down side by side, watching the cars pass them by. Mouth squeezed Brooke's hand and she smiled at him in return.

They sat in silence, comfortable with each other as only friends could be. Minutes passed but all they did was stare out at the busy road, their minds filled with comfort at the feel of each other's hand.

"I forgot how many times we used to sit here watching the cars" Brooke suddenly spoke up.

"I remember" Mouth smiled. They looked at each other at the same time before turning away again. "We used to buy bubble gum from that store over there and used to compete who could blow the biggest one".

"You always lost" Brooke said, smugly.

"I always let you win" he said calmly.

"Whatever" she said before muttering. "Sore loser".

He grinned and gently kicked her at the side of her leg. She retorted by sticking out her tongue at him. He raised his arm and she snuggled against him as he wrapped the arm around her. He kissed the top of her head as they settled back into silence.

"Why doesn't Lucas like me?" she asked softly.

Mouth bit his lip, trying to stop his tirade of curses at Lucas. He knew how skinny and weak he was compared to Lucas but if Brooke hadn't stopped him, he would have tried to rip every limb of Lucas's body.

"He's an idiot. He doesn't know how great you are" he said truthfully. "You're better off without him".

"I don't care. I just want him back" she said quietly. "I was crazy about him. I still am".

His heart tore in half. It was one thing for him to assume it, another for her to say it out loud. His feelings of jealousy intensified. _Don't _he told himself. _She's in your arms now, not his._

"It will pass" he said, trying to quench his anger at Lucas, not only for hurting Brooke but for being the object of her affection. For being tall and having good looks, for being able to have Brooke whenever he wanted.

She signed sadly. "Does it always feel this way?" she said, crying into his shoulder. "Does it always hurt this bad?"

He wished he could make her feel better, wished he had the gift of words to stop the flow of tears with one word. But he didn't. He was Mouth McFadden, average guy with average looks and an average sized brain. The only thing that was special about him was that he was in love, the kind of love that hurt and pained more than it thrilled.

He looked at the figure in his arms. How he wished he could tell her that he was in love with her. How he prayed she would look at him and see him for what he wanted to be. How he yearned for her to love him back.

"I love you, Brooke" he said, as he gently ran his hand through her long brown hair.

"I love you too, Mouth" she said in a matter of fact way. But it wasn't the love he wanted, was it? She loved him like a little brother, like a friend. She would never see him in the way he wanted her to. He would watch her falling in love with numerous guys and he stood in the shadows, never one of those guys. She would get married and he would stand in the pew, awaiting for those words 'if anyone here has any objections, please voice them or forever hold your peace' but he would never rise to tell her his love. They would grow old and she would still look beautiful but he would disappear from her life and soon after from her memories. And he would still look at her crumpled picture, the one he kept under his pillow every day praying her to look his way.

"Yes, Brooke. It always hurts this bad" he said, softly.

**Please review. Loved it, Hated it? Let me know! **


	61. Walk Away

He stood outside the school's front doors, waiting to catch the glimpse of that blond hair skirting through the crowd. He clucked his tongue impatiently but he would wait hours if he had to. He shifted his bag more comfortably on his shoulder before leaning again on the wall of the school building. He kept his eyes trained on the school grounds but his mind was on the girl whom he knew was inside the tutor centre at that moment. He was waiting for the sound of the school's front doors to open and the familiar noise her sneakers made on the ground.

Lucas scanned the school's grounds with a distanced mind. He cringed inwardly as he spotted a brunette walking past the school leaning on her friend for support. The scene earlier had been one of the most awkward scenes he could remember. He wasn't a player or a heart breaker and he hated to be play one. But the heart wants what it wants and he wished every moment of his life that he didn't want Haley James.

It was wrong in every imaginable way! Not only was she his brother's girlfriend, the love of his life, it was also because... she was too pure, too good to be contaminated by him. She was the nicest person imaginable and that was one of the reasons to why he was so crazy about her. He didn't want her to lose her special glow, to rid herself of everything that was unique about her and he knew that he would somehow take her originality away from her.

He envied her. She who had been through so much in life, found a way to detach herself from it. She, who suffered and lost so much, could smile up at God cheerfully because she knew He still loved her. How she could not be angry at Him was something he could not comprehend. Lucas had lost his faith in God the moment his mother had drawn her last breath. He had sat holding her hand in the hospital room, her beautiful face weak and pale as he tried to give her some of his strength. He had watched her slowly losing life and he had prayed that he would be the one to die, instead of his mother. He looked at his mother for the last time alive then he had closed his eyes and prayed. But when he opened them again, in that blink of an eye, he had become an atheist.

He used to blame himself. He used to think that it was his fault she died, that he could have done something. But that was why Haley was so special because she made that guilt feeling, the heavy load on his shoulder...disappear.

_Three Weeks Ago_

Lucas's POV

He stood by the river watching the stream drift away the water plants that were too weak to uproot themselves. His reflection against the water was unclear just like his past, present and future was, is and looks like. He could barely make out my outline in the water and he looked like as his mother would call it 'a shady character'. A mysterious character that flitted from the background and had no good intentions yet women went crazy over them, his mother would say laughing.

A huge lump formed in his throat. How he missed her. She was the only person he loved. The only real family he had. She had raised him on her own, with no financial help in a one bedroom apartment in Alabama. He could remember the apartment. It was a miserable, dark place to live in with stained walls and a lone light bulb hanging dangerously from the ceiling. Upon entering the apartment, all you could see was a moderate sized room. The kitchen consists of a stove and a table in a corner and directly opposite was a bed with a cot which was replaced with another bed in years to come. There was no TV, no radio and barely enough light entering the room to read.

It was a miserable place to live in. But to Lucas, it was the best childhood imaginable.

He remember as a little kid, he would go to preschool and later be picked up by his mother who took him to the little diner she worked in. He would be able to sit all day on the vinyl stool and color on the free napkins. Regulars would come in and he would play with their children. Everyone knew him and they would treat him as an adult as they talked to him about dinosaurs and Barney. And best of all, his mother would be standing behind the diner, inches away from him at all times. He could remember the amount of times he reached his little hand over to hold her hand and she would smile that lovely smile of hers...

"Hey, Luke" a familiar voice called out from behind him. He turned around to find Haley James behind him. She was smiling at him as she walked across the River Court to stand next to him.

That smile. It was different, the way the lips curved up, the dimple forming in the cheek, it was all different. Yet it was the same smile. Across the span of years, across oceans and seas, miles and miles away, and from heaven above, she was smiling again. He blinked as he tried to snap out of it.

"Have you seen Nathan?" Haley asked him as she reached him, her hands stuffed in the pocket of her jeans.

Lucas shook his head. "No, sorry" he said, not wanting to be dragged into a conversation. He liked Haley enough but he needed some alone time right then.

"No, that's okay. He said he was going to be late anyway. Whitey wanted to see him" she said freely as she took out a stick of gum from her pocket. "Want one?" she asked as she popped one into her mouth.

Lucas shook his head. "Do you and Nathan spend every second together or something?" he asked. He hadn't expected it to come out as sourly as he had but he couldn't help it. He envied his brother who had someone while he was staring into the river thinking about everything he had lost.

But Haley just laughed. "We try to" she said as she blew a bubble.

They settled into a surprisingly easy silence. The only sound they could hear was the wind blowing the trees and the rustling sound autumn makes as it approaches.

"Do you want to be alone?" Haley suddenly asked, breaking the stillness.

Lucas was surprised. A moment ago he would have jumped at the opportunity to be left alone but the way she said it, it was almost like she knew how he felt. She probably did, he thought as he suddenly remembered that she too had lost her mother. She had lost her father too. It hadn't occurred to Lucas because she didn't carry the heavy weight of grief on her shoulders. She walked as if she had wings on her ankles and when she smiled, it was like her soul was undamaged. It was like her heart was full and sustained no injuries.

She was God's angel and He would not hurt her.

"No" he said truthfully.

She smiled at him again. It was awhile before either of them spoke again. "I used to come here all the time" she said wistfully.

"With Nathan?" he asked a little spitefully but he bit his lip annoyed as soon as the words came out.

She shrugged. "Most of the time. But sometimes alone. But I haven't been out here in years" she suddenly grinned. "I have this friend back in Africa, Nagume who loves looking out into the sea. He was very spiritual and believed that the water was form of life. It was a medium where souls who had passed on were brought back, reincarnated actually as drops of water in the ocean and they were too spend the rest of eternity, swimming across the unknown like birds in the sky".

When he didn't answer, she continued unnerved. "But then again, he's a little off on his game. I used to tease him that he was dropped off the wagon when he was young" she laughed but stopped short when Lucas kept mum. "Anyway, I don't know if I believe that but the prospect of living in the sky amidst puff of clouds and an eerie silence in the air... is slightly intimidating. I would actually love to spend an eternity amidst lost souls in the ocean" she laughed again. "Okay, that sounded weird".

He ran his hand through his hair before saying "What about the belief that when you're dead, you're just dead. Six feet under the ground, that's it. Maybe the romantic notion of reincarnation and living in heaven doesn't even exist. Maybe this life is the only one you get. Do you believe that?" he asked, still looking out into the river.

"No" she said, almost immediately. "I don't".

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to" she answered simply.

He nearly smiled. Here it was again, her childlike innocence. She who suffered more loss than someone twice her age was like a child in her purity.

"I know what it feels like, you know?" she said calmly. "I know you think that I don't because I don't show it but I do".

Lucas sighed miserably. "How do you forget? How do you walk away from the pain?"

She shrugged. "You put as much distance from it as you can. Place one foot in front of the other and keep walking. If you want to visit the past again, come back. But just don't stay too long. It gets easier to walk away the second time around. Pretty soon, you can walk away yet still carry the memories with you without crying".

He nodded. "And that's how you manage to deal with losing your parents?" he asked, not facing her.

"That's how I managed to deal with losing my parents" she said, laughing. "I haven't been able to manage losing Nathan".

When he looked confused, she said simply "When I left him, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And even though I knew we'd be together again, that I would be in his arms again, even though I was only nine, it still hurt" she looked into the river, seeing her own reflection clearly in the water. "But losing Nathan then made losing my parents now easier. Because I loved them very very much but every time I think about how much I missed them, I just think at least I don't have to lose Nathan again".

"You're lucky to have each other" he said.

"He's the one that helped me walk away" she said softly.

They were silent for a while. Then suddenly he looked up at the sky before facing her, the sunlight illuminating her perfectly, it was like she was standing under a ray of light. He didn't think he had seen anything so beautiful before and he could not tear his eyes away from her. Her beauty shone from inwards and combined with her natural good looks, she was an angel. His heart started pounding loudly in his rib cage and he realized that the hurt was gone. He no longer felt guilty, it wasn't his fault his mother died. He shouldn't be upset that he had lived instead of her.

Haley James had made the hurt go away. The only person who had managed to do that.

He continued staring at her and finally she turned to meet his gaze. His eyes locked on hers and he couldn't breathe. For the first time in his life, he had fallen in love.

"Thank you" he managed to say.

She smiled up at him. The beautiful smile that was really nothing like his mother's, the smile that reached into his heart and pulled away the cold.

"For helping me walk away".


	62. Lost Souls

"Hey, Blondie" a voice called out behind Lucas as he leaned against the wall of the school, still waiting for Haley to come out of the school. He looked up to see Peyton walking out of the big glass doors.

Lucas smirked. "You're one to talk" he said, jerking his head at her curly blonde hair.

"Hey, don't you know by now that's it clearly peroxide. My real hair color is blue" Peyton joked.

Lucas laughed at the image of Peyton with blue hair. It was the first time he had laughed for real all day, he had been tense and in a bad mood since the scene with Brooke earlier that day. He hated hurting people and he liked Brooke; she had never hurt him and she had been a good companion to him.

"Have you seen Brooke?" Peyton asked. Lucas tensed up; it was almost like Peyton had read his mind.

"No" he said, sharply.

Peyton looked confused. Then she looked around, biting her lip nervously. "I haven't seen her all day. Do you think she's okay?"

Lucas shrugged. It was apparent that Brooke hadn't told Peyton what had happened that day and Lucas didn't want to be the one to tell her.

"I have things to do in TRIC. I'll try calling her but if she doesn't pick up, would you go over to her place and check on her?" Peyton asked, her eyes filled with worry. She knew she was being a little paranoid but she was used to mothering Brooke, especially lately. Brooke hadn't been herself ever since she and Lucas broke up but Peyton figured that if Lucas went to check on her, Brooke would open up to him again.

Lucas reddened. I think I'm the last person she wants to see" he muttered, scuffing his shoe on the ground.

Peyton answered quickly, her eyes bright. "No, this could be great! You could check on her and she can see how much you still care. You guys can get together and she can stop drinking!" Peyton said brightly.

Lucas cleared his throat nervously. This was going to be the second time he was to hurt someone he cared about. "Peyton-..." he paused. "Brooke asked me out today and... I said no" he waited for the fireworks.

Peyton's bright blue eyes that were just shining happily dimmed and her smiling mouth drooped. She looked bewildered. She cocked her head to one side and opened her mouth then immediately shut it. She frowned; then she smiled shaking her head. "But you care about her. You told me you wanted her back. You stood right in front of me and you told me you wanted her back".

"Peyton" Lucas said, trying to clear himself but Peyton took a few steps away from him.

"No, I got to go see Brooke" Peyton said, shaking her head. With that she turned around and ran down the school steps. But before she walked away, she turned around to face him. He straightened and looked down at her. She sighed and said "You're in love with someone else". It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Lucas was taken back. Recovering quickly, he asked "How did you know?"

Peyton sighed again, upset. "Because I saw the way you looked at her. I didn't put two and two together up until this moment" she said, sadly. With that, she turned away and walked off, her head bent low. He watched her walk across the school courtyard, her hands rolled into fists.

Lucas looked down on the ground ashamed. He never knew falling in love with someone could be such a crime. Of course he never knew love could hurt this bad either. It was almost like his heart was being suffocated again and again, but sometimes it was like it was floating on air. Sometimes was every time she smiled at him. He who didn't believe in God, suddenly believed in angels. He wondered how many people he would lose in order to have the girl he was in love with.

There was no doubt in it. If there was a higher power, He had dealt Lucas a band hand. What a terrible misery it was to have unrequited love.

He suddenly looked up to see a familiar blond walk across the courtyard about twenty yards away from him.

"What the...?" he muttered. How could she have passed him without him knowing? He had stood in front of the doors for the past twenty minutes, how could she have...? He bit back a curse, the back door. She went out through the school's back doors. He leaped down the stairs, two at a time trying to catch up with her. He debated whether or not to yell her name. Better not, he decided, don't appear too needy, you don't even have a proper excuse to talk to her, he thought as he walked faster.

At the end of school's courtyard, Haley stopped and turned left onto the pavement. He walked faster to reach the end of the courtyard before turning left too. He saw her walk a few yards in front of him, her head bent low. For the second time that day, he found himself watching her as she walked. He could have stared at her all his life. The way she moved was like a picture worth a thousand words. He bit his lip, and then made a decision. He just wanted to see where she was going. He waited a while as he watched her walk down the street. Then he followed her...

Haley's POV

I made my way slowly down the street. I knew Nagume was in the hospital for a check-up and he didn't want me to be there with him. He told me to meet him in the house an hour after school finished. I had that long to kill. But all I wanted to do was run to the dreaded hospital and hold him. Make him promise he wouldn't leave me. He always kept his promises. Maybe he'd keep this one too.

I wrapped my jacket more tightly around me. The wind was blowing gently against me and the trees made that familiar rustling noise. The leaves crunched underneath my feet as I walked over them. People were running home already, it was too cold to be out. The clouds overhead looked grey and miserable; I think it was going to rain soon. I stuffed my hands into my pocket, oblivious to the cold. The chill I felt had nothing to do with the cold breeze or the sun hiding out in the horizon.

Why do the good always suffer? Why Nagume, when he never hurt anyone? He was like the brother I never had. I could picture him sitting in the doctor's office, hearing everyone tell him how long he would have. And they would say how everything would be okay, but how could he believe that? How could he believe everything would be okay when he would never see his family again? He worked so hard all his life; he was going to go to med school... And now the only place he was going to go was the huge hole in the ground, amidst the dirt.

I knew him. He would smile at the doctors and nurses and tell them thank you. Then he would leave and they would all cry because they knew he didn't deserve to die so young. He would loved me and took care of me when he could have been playing with other boys his age. He who treated me like a friend when most of the time I was a pain to him? Nagume, how I loved him.

I wish I knew the right things to say. I wish I knew how to make everything okay. I wish I could hold him in my arms and close my eyes, and when I open them again; he would still be there. I wish I was the one dying instead because I was less worthy. Because I had lived life to the fullest because I was hopelessly completely in love with another. He deserved a chance to feel that kind of love. He deserved a chance to live his life the way he had planned.

I raised my head to find that I had walked all the way to the edge of the town. I suddenly knew where my feet were guiding me and where my heart was planning on leading me. I let them go through their motions and I let my mind wander.

I remember every time I was sick, he used to be the one to give me my meds and he would wait for me to fall asleep before he would let himself sleep too. There were days when I got really sick and he wouldn't sleep for days for he would be worried about me. I guess I'm lucky, so very lucky that someone like him could love me nearly as much as I loved him. I remember that every time I got mad at him, like really mad, I would rage and scream my head off at him, calling him names and all he would do was nod and look down like he was ashamed with himself when it was I who was in the wrong. How I regretted those moments. How I wished I could take it back.

My hand rested on the iron wrung gates that over the years had been twined with ivy. I pushed open the gates and walked in, cringing when the gates fell back and closed with a loud sound. It was a weird thought, but I was always afraid that if I was too loud, I would awake the dead. I passed hundreds and hundreds of tombstones on my way to the little hill at the edge of the cemetery. I hated myself for getting so emotional when millions of people had died all over the world over the history of time. The cemetery was living proof that many people here had lost their loved ones and would continue to do so until the end of time.

My feet traced out the pathway automatically and eventually I came to a stop. I walked out of the pathway and up the little slope to two tombstones that lay under an oak tree, peacefully. They were always such happy peaceful people, it was only expected that they stayed an eternity that way.

As always I stood in front of the two tombstones and stared at their names for a while. And as always I prayed that each time I looked at their names carved in stone, I prayed that it wasn't going to be theirs. I prayed that I wouldn't see _Lydia James _and _Jimmy James _engraved permanently on the tombs.

And as always as soon as I accepted that it was their names, I fell on my knees. I would curl up in a ball and tuck my head in because I didn't want them to see their little girl cry. It would be easier to just get up and leave. To leave it all. The pain, the hurt, the deaths, to just curl up in a ball and give up. It would be easier to sob and sob the pain out but it was like fitting a square into a circle, no matter how many times you tried it would never come out completely. It would stay with you forever.

It would always hurt. The guilt of living when the people you lived didn't. The anguish, the hurt, the despair, the anger... and worst of all, the loneliness.

The tears flowed before I could stop them. And pretty soon, I was sobbing and crying on the ground in front of my parents' tombstones, wishing they made one for me in the middle. The people who had come to visit their lost loved ones that day were scared as they had all heard the stories of ghosts and ghouls in the cemetery. What none of them knew was that weeping sound they heard echoed through the graveyard wasn't a lost soul, it was a soul that had lost.

**Okay, I know the chapters are really but I like updating fast and I can't get long chapters done in time. But if you prefer longer chapters in a longer period of time, let me know! Also, please review the chapters, I love reading them and I would love to know what you think. I always take your view into consideration so please let me know! **


	63. Let The Light In

The sobs subsided. The worst part of crying for me was the sniffling that came after. I took deep breaths to steady my breathing. As soon as I could breathe steadily, I took my phone out of my pocket and immediately dialed the familiar number. I wanted to hear his voice. Even if I had just talked to him a couple of hours earlier, I needed him.

It rang fourteen times before I hung up. I dialed again and waited for one minute before I gave up. For the first time in my life, my Naty wasn't going to be by my side. I pictured him so handsome in my mind, his bright blue eyes lighting up and his dark hair tousled up. Every time the world knocks me down, every time my life takes a turn for the worse, all I have to do was think of him and I would get up. Because I could deal with anytime life gave me as long as Nathan was beside me.

I meant what I said to Lucas when I told him how I could deal with the pain of losing people because nothing could compare with losing Nathan when I was nine years old. The only reason why I was able to survive that pain was because I knew that Nathan and I would be together again. Our mothers used to say that in heaven, just before God put us on Earth, he joined out souls together so we were destined to be together.

Even if I would never admit it to anyone, I have a list in my mind about the people dearest to me. Third on that list is Nagume, my brother, and how I loved him. He would always remain in my heart and even when he was long gone, I would always look out into the ocean and try to catch a glimpse of his soul. Second would be my Uncle Keith, my guardian, the man who took me in when I had nothing. I would always be grateful to him, the man who thought me how to laugh again.

After that, would be a gap that would stretch miles long, a gap not big enough to show the amount of love I had for the number one. Because as much as I love Nagume and Uncle Keith, my love for both of them combined could never amount to a fraction, one percent of how I felt about Nathan. He was everything to me. If I had to choose between my friends, my family, my ability to walk and him, I wouldn't have a doubt on who I would choose.

I know that people think love is an exaggeration. I've heard my share of comments on people saying that true love wasn't real and even if it was, it didn't feel as great as people sang about in songs or the words that were written about it in books. Love couldn't make you do stupid things or make you smile all day. But the truth I feel sorry for the people who said that. Love didn't just make you blush or make your heart pound uncontrollably. It made you wake up every day and think 'it's going to be a good day' because even if it was a horrible one, at the end of it you get to curl up under a blanket with the one you love and just stare up at the stars as he holds you and you can't remember what had made the day a bad one.

But sometimes love sucks. Like when you have to be around him all the time because you can't stop thinking about him and you hate the fact that you need him so much. And when you know it isn't his fault he isn't answering the phone but you still get hurt.

I looked to my left at the little pond by the cemetery. The beautiful swans that were there all year round had retired to their warm spot under the bridge. I wish I could see them; the sight of swans always made me smile, it reminded me of things like the book 'The Ugly Duckling' or the movie 'The Notebook'.

I suddenly heard the sound of leaves crunching and I look up to see Lucas headed my way.

"Hey, Hales" he said as he sat down next to me. "Is that floor taken?"

I shook my head and let out an embarrassed laugh as I wiped my face dry. "You're not catching me on my best".

He shrugged. "You never did either" he turned to face me. "Are you okay?"

"Not really" I lifted up my phone. "Nathan's not answering my calls".

I wasn't looking at him but I felt him stiffen. I was going to ask him what was wrong when he asked "Is that what is bugging you?"

I shook my head. "My friend, Nagume... He's not going to live very long" I said in a small voice. I thought I had cried all the tears that I could cry but through a blurred vision, I saw Lucas's eyebrows shoot up. Something flickered in his eyes, I'm not sure what it was but when he looked at me again, it was a different look.

He pulled me into his arms and I cried softly into his shoulder. Even though it wasn't the same as Nathan's strong arms around me, it wasn't unpleasant. His embrace felt like Nagume's brotherly affection. He kissed the top of my head and told me repeatedly how it was going to be okay. I nearly believed him.

"Thanks for walking me home" I said as we walked side by side down the street.

Lucas ignored me and stared into a sports shop at a basketball.

"Hey, loser. Did you hear me?" I said, loudly. Lucas turned to face me as I walked past him. He made a face then stuck his foot out to trip me. Me, being the clumsy ox I was nearly tripped. I steadied myself before walking quickly to catch up with him.

"Jerk" I called him as I punched him on the arm.

"At least I'm not short" he taunted as he rubbed his arm in mock pain. He caught the look of mock outrage in my face and sped up.

"Oh, you're so dead" I yelled as I ran after him.

We reached my house laughing. We said our goodbyes by knocking our fists together and smiling I walked up my driveway up to my house.

Lucas's POV

I now realized why people always talked about how naïve teenagers were. It was because although we want to act like adults, most of the times we were still kids. We weren't experienced nor were we wise. Most of us didn't even know the meaning of love. I'm one of them.

I could not believe how stupid I had been to think I was in love with Haley James. She was an awesome person but in my mind I had imagined her to be this perfect angel who remained untouched all her life. Seeing her cry about her friend and seeing her in that way, it made me realized how human she was. She wasn't heaven sent nor was she perfect. She was struggling through life just like the rest of us. I was so in love with the idea of being in love that I never actually though about her a person. I wanted to be in love so bad that I just went for the first person I thought was everything I wanted her to be.

_Idiot _I chastised myself as I walked slowly away from her house. I stopped by her neighbor's house and looked at it. It used to be Nathan's house before he moved out. I could just picture that little bratty brother of mine running around his front lawn. I think when the time is right; I'll tell Nathan how I once thought I was in love with Haley.

I realize now what Haley means to me. I had misinterpreted friendship and affection for love and adoration. I would love to have her in my life, she was a good friend and I enjoyed her company. And I would be there for her through her friend's sickness. I was so lost in thought that I almost didn't hear the sound of broken glass emanating from her house and her screams echoing through the night.

Haley's POV

_Minutes earlier_

I walked into my house whistling to myself. On the way home I had bought a couple of DVD's for Nagume and me to watch tonight. A horror movie, a couple of chick flicks to annoy him and a comedy. The hallway was unusually dark. I groped along the wall for the light switch and the room was immediately lit up. I didn't notice anything odd about the silence. The sound of my footsteps echoed through the room and I assumed that it seemed louder due to my imagination.

"Nagume" I called out gleefully. "I've got some movies for us to watch" I said as I walked down the hallway. I could see the light of the television flickering so I made my way to the living room. "You get the popcorn" I said as I rummaged in my bag for the DVD's. "And I'll get the..." my voice trailed away as I looked up to see the room empty. That's weird; he normally switched it off every time he left the room. The room was in total darkness.

"Nagume" I said louder hoping that if he was in the next room, he would answer. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed a glass on the coffee table sitting there, out of place. Nagume was such an unusually neat person; he couldn't bear to leave things in their unoriginal places. He would have put the glass in the sink, washed it then wiped the coffee table down. I picked up the glass and frowned as I looked at it.

"Nagume" I said again. I made my way to the light switch and switched it on. The light seemed to dim to brighten the room. Still carrying the glass, I walked around the couch to open the curtains to let the street lights fill the room with light. I pulled open the curtains and smiled out the window as I saw families walk by, so complete and peaceful with their lives.

Still smiling I swung around and my eyes unintentionally went to a spot on the floor behind the couch. I could see the devastatingly handsome face and the hands curled up into fists. The glass fell out of my hands and the sound of the crystal hitting the wood echoed through my mind and seemed louder than my shrieks.


	64. I Watch And I Cry As He Goes To The Sky

The hospital corridor was flooded with lights. Too much light in fact. I narrowed my eyes at the brightness and rubbed them with my free hand. The noise was overwhelming. I could hear ambulance sirens in the crowded hallway but that was impossible. The walls were thick enough to block out any sounds that were coming from outside. The voices of the nurses yelling to each other, the doctors walking up and down and the families screaming and crying were deaf to me. All I could hear were those damn sirens!

_911, I need an ambulance. I... I live at 27, Milbrew Street. _

_The sound of the door opening and hurried footsteps. Haley, what's wrong? _

What wasn't, Lucas? Look on the floor and tell me nothing was wrong?

_The sirens echoed through my neighborhood as the ambulance approached. I could see the neighbors staring at me as I stood outside my house watching them take Nagume out on a stretcher. They were all probably thinking 'who has she lost now?' It had finally begun to rain .I stared at the bright blinking lights flooding the street. Too much light, I didn't want to see it all. It wasn't him! I screamed at the men who were getting into the ambulance. It wasn't my Nagume! But even as I screamed, I could see the short black hair on his head that I used to twine around my little fingers as I tried to sleep on cold nights. I could see the strong arms that would pick me up when I had fallen, the hands that I had held tightly when I was scared of the animals the night would bring. It's not him! I shrieked as I watched the ambulance drive away. The rain fell around me and soaked me to my bone. The sirens blocked out my voice but it didn't bother me. They were taking Nagume away!_

_Lucas! I yelled. Make them stop! They're taking him away! But he just stood there, helplessly as he walked towards me. I pushed his comforting arms away. He was useless, I needed Nathan! He would fix things! But he wasn't here, was he. Nagume! I screamed as I ran towards the ambulance, the rain blocking my vision. My neighbors went back inside, ashamed and embarrassed for me. I could barely make out the outline of the ambulance but I could see the bright lights emanating from it and as always...the sirens. I shut my ears with my hands, trying to block out the sound of the sirens. I fell to my knees and cringed. They were so loud; I could barely hear my own voice. _

_But I could think and as I stood on my knees in the rain, the memories flooded back. Nagume teaching me to swim, Nagume making me hot chocolate every night, Nagume laughing as I told him how I didn't think people my age existed anymore, Nagume looking on the ground ashamed as I yelled at him, Nagume, my savior, my hero crying at night on the bathroom floor because he could no longer stand on his own. And I could hear Nathan's voice telling me how he would always be there for me. _

I gave my paper coffee cup to Lucas who was sitting next to me and quickly ran to the bathroom at the end of the hall. Inside I sat on the floor of the cubicle and retched as I tried to get the pain out.

"Miss James?" the same doctor that had tended to Nagume hours earlier said as he walked up to me.

"Yes?" I said as I stood up quickly. I wiped my eyes with my hands and faced him.

"Nagume's alive" he started to say but I interrupted him.

"Oh, thank god!" I said, letting out a sigh of relief. I felt like I was going to faint but I held my strength. Nathan wasn't there to catch me if I fell.

"But there are some matters to discuss, Miss James" he continued seriously. "His condition is..." he droned on but I barely listened. The idea of Nagume leaving when I never said goodbye was... I thanked God I had a second chance to tell him how much he means to me.

"Can I see him now?" I asked quickly.

"He's in Recovery. You should be able to see him in about ten minutes. The nurses are tending to him now" the doctor said. Lucas thanked him for me. As soon as he left, I turned to face Lucas. "He's alive!" I exclaimed, tears of joy streaming down my face.

Lucas smiled sadly at me. "Look, if you're going to be here awhile, do you want me to get some things for you from your place? I could call Brooke and Peyton to bring them down for you?" he said uncomfortably. I think he felt like he had odd being there, like he was a replacement for someone I needed.

I nodded at him, looking down the lit hallway waiting for a nurse to tell me I could see Nagume. Lucas said goodbye and I could hear his footsteps walk away. As soon as I was sure he had left, I took out my hand phone and pressed one on speed dial.

"Haley?" his deep voice echoed from the other side of the line.

"He's okay, Nate" I said softly. I laughed and ran a hand through my hair. "He's okay! He's going to be..." the laughter died. No, he was okay now. Doesn't mean he was going to be, does it? The inevitable was just prolonged.

"I'm coming back, Hales" he said.

I shook my head even if I knew he couldn't see me. He knew me though; he could tell what I was doing. He could always tell. I sat down on the little plastic chairs they put in the hallway and buried my face in my hand.

"I'll come and be with you. You don't have to... cry alone Hales" he said desperately. "Just say the word and I'll..." he said before I cut him off.

"No, no, no" I said, trying not to cry. "I want you to spend time with your father".

"Bugs" he started.

"I'll call you the second I want you back" _I want you back! I want you here now! _"Anyway, you'll be back in four days right?"

"Yeah" he said, unconvincingly.

A nurse carrying a clipboard walked up to me and stood in front of me patiently.

"Hey, Nate, I have to go. I'll call you later" I said, hanging up. I stood up and the nurse led me down the hall to a small room. She opened the door of the room for me before leaving.

I took a deep breath before opening the door. The room was in total darkness, just like my living room had been hours earlier. I stifled a sob and composed myself. Leading myself with my hands, I made my way to the narrow bed in the corner. There was a little stool next to the bed and I sat down on it, trying not to make a sound.

I looked at the person in the bed. My Nagume. He was asleep. The thing about him, the thing that I noticed all my life about him, was even asleep he never seemed peaceful. He had the gentlest nature, the sweetest person imaginable but he never seemed at peace. The area around his eyes was wrinkled and his fists were clenched. As I stared at his face, I thought for the hundredth time how handsome he was.

I took his hand in mine and tried to unclench his fist. After a long time, I manage to pry his fingers apart. I held his hand close to my face and kissed it, wondering if this was the last time I would feel it warm again.

"Honey? Honey"

Who is that? Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?

"Haley?" the voice was more persistent. "Wake up, Haley" someone was tugging on my foot, forcing me to awake. I kicked the hand away and rolled over to the other side, trying to sleep.

"Haley?" it was Nathan's voice. My eyes sprang open. Nathan was here? He came? Thank God he didn't listen to me. Sunlight, bright sunlight filled my eyes. I squinted, trying to get the glare off my face. I sat up rubbing my eyes.

"Nathan?" I asked sleepily as I looked around my surroundings. All I saw were trees and trees, I was in a forest. It wasn't like the one Nathan and I had played in all our lives, it seemed bigger, the trees were closer together and there was no sound at all. Silent; even the sounds of birds were absent. I stood up, looking around curiously. I racked my brains; I don't remember coming down here…I was supposed to be at the hospital.

"Nathan?" I asked my surroundings. No answer. Was I expecting one from trees? I don't know. Yet I knew he was here; somewhere in the trees, he was near. Was he hiding from me? No, he wouldn't do that. He normally liked seeing me. Maybe he was lurking in the shadows laughing at my confusion. But that didn't sound like him. The silence was scaring me; the hair on my arms stood up and my senses were heightened.

Unexpectedly to my left, something ran behind the trees, the sound of childish laughter filling the air. A gust of wind blew, shaking the trees bringing that sound of rustling leaves. The sun was dimming. Again, this time directly behind me, something ran around laughing. They were laughing at me, teasing me only they played a cruel joke. I swung around, trying to see whom it was running. There were only shadows. My heart was pounding and my breathing came out in ragged gasps.

And suddenly I knew that someone was watching me from behind again. I felt a tap on my shoulder. Terrified, I refused to turn. But the tap came again but this time harder. I tried to walk in front but my feet were glued to the ground. Summoning my courage, I turned around and nearly screamed.

Nathan Scott stood behind me but it wasn't the Nathan I now knew and loved. It was the Nathan of eight years ago, the Nathan I had fallen in love with many years ago and left, the Nathan of nine years old.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't have screamed even if I wanted to. He wasn't supposed to be here, not now, not this way. Is it a ghost? Is my Nathan dead? No, oh God please, no. Little Nathan's head was cocked to one side as if he was trying to hear something. He was wearing the same outfit he had on the last time I saw him, only in a smaller size; brown corduroy pants and a blue polo shirt. He looked to his left and frowned. Satisfied he turned to me and held out his little hand. I automatically raised my hand as I had so many times in my life, to hold onto his. My hand was for once bigger than his but again, as so many times before, it was he who was in control.

He led me through the forest. I don't know what he was looking for or even if he was a destination but as always his presence comforted me. After five minutes of walking in silence, I suddenly realized that he was taller. He had grown during our walk. I stared down at his hand tightly held in mine when I realized that my hand was smaller than before. I felt my face with my free hand, my nose was blunter and my face seemed smaller. Then it hit me, I was growing younger and shrinking, he was still the same age. I looked down at my clothes, I was wearing blue short and a pink top. The clothes were familiar, I hadn't worn them in years. The last time I wore them was the day I had found out my parents had died.

We continued to trek through the forest in silence, seemingly two nine year olds. I looked at Nathan in front of me and for the first time in my life, he scared me. Now that I was smaller than him again, his eerie silence and tight grip on me frightened me. I looked around us and realized that I couldn't see anything but trees. I looked down watching our feet carefully tread over broken twigs and roots of trees when I suddenly realized we were no longer in a forest, we were on the top of a hill.

Nathan let go off my hand. I looked around us. Behind us, a spot about twenty feet away from us was a cloud, a big corporeal cloud. People were surrounding the cloud, waiting in line trying to get onto the cloud. I squinted trying to make out the people. I nearly fainted. At the front of the line, the first people to board the cloud were my parents. They were smiling and they slowly turned to face me. Upon seeing me, they waved happily before turning away again and sitting on the cloud. Nagume was there, Uncle Keith, Brooke, Peyton and Lucas. They were all getting on the cloud.

But my parents were alive, they were right in front of me. I started to run to them. "Momma! Daddy!" I squealed happily in my childish voice. "I'm coming, Mommy! Daddy, don't leave me again!" I ran faster trying to catch up with them but even as my feet pounded the ground, I knew it was no use. I wasn't moving, no matter how fast I ran or how long, I stayed in the same spot. It was like I was on a never-ending treadmill.

I turned to Nathan who was watching me silently. "Why can't I move?" I asked, desperately. "Why can't I see them?".

He didn't answer but it didn't seem like he was ignoring me. It was like he was waiting for me to ask the right question. I looked at him frenziedly, looking from the cloud to him. Suddenly it dawned on me. "Nathan, why…why are they leaving me?" I asked crying. "Why are they smiling when they know they'll never see me again?".

His eyes narrowed and for the first time in my life, he looked like he hated me. There was an angry glint in his eyes and his little hands curled into fists. I trembled, crying to myself dreading the answer.

"It's because they all hate you" he said, coldly. "Why do you think everyone leaves you, Haley? They all hate you".

"I know they do" I said crying as I sank to my knees. "I know they hate me. But why?" I said sobbing. "What did I do? Why do they hate me so?".

All of them were on the cloud yet it hadn't moved yet. It was like they were waiting for something…or someone…

"No!" I said, wildly turning from the cloud to him. "Not you, Naty! Please not you. Anyone but you!" I said, crying. I tried not to stand up but my legs were too weak. I crawled towards him and grabbed the front of his shirt. "Not you. I can't bear if you leave me" I said, begging him.

He looked down at me and smirked. Then he shoved me off and walked towards the cloud. I tried to follow him, to make him stop but I couldn't walk. I crawled through the mud. "Nathan!" I screamed. "NATHAN! Don't leave me!" but he was already on the cloud and it was rising…high above the skies…taking away everyone I loved…taking away Nathan…

And from the sky, a single purple flower fell…

_**Hey **_**guys! Please let me know what you think. I was going to make the whole Nagume part longer but I actually cut it short because someone said it was getting kind of boring. So if you have any remarks please let me know. Also, I promise you that I will have some Naley scenes in the next chapter. I would love to know if you have any nice quotes you want me to put in so**__**let me know! Hoped you enjoyed this chapter but I might not update for a while; I haven't been getting much reviews so I think I'll focus on my other stories but more reviews, faster updates! Thank you!**


	65. Hallelujah

"Haley? Haley" a voice said. "Wake up"

Not again.

I opened my eyes to find myself in the same hospital room Nagume was admitted in. He was looking at me smiling. I raised my head and rubbed my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Ten at night"

I sat up straight in the stool. "I've been asleep for hours" I muttered, rubbing the sleep of my eyes. I turned to face him. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine" he said, dismissively. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now" he said seriously. "I wanted to ask if you if Kyle knows you're here?"

The blood rushed to my head. In that one question, everything came flooding back. I remembered everything I had tried to forget. My heart contracted and I realized that the hurt and pain was still there.

"No, he doesn't" I mumbled looking away, ashamed.

"Where does he think you are?" he asked gently.

"I don't know. He's in Australia now, doing a course. He doesn't know I'm not in Africa" I said, chewing my lip nervously.

Nagume dropped the subject after that and I was grateful for that yet I couldn't help going over it in my head. Over and over again.

"Go home"

"What?! No"

"You should. You've been here three complete days"

"I'm not leaving you"

"It will only be for an hour"

"No"

Nagume groaned. "You're the most stubborn brat I know"

"You must not know much brats", I said, moving my knight to E6. "Check"

He moved his king out of range. "You stink by the way"

"I've been showering in the bathroom here"

"Go home and take a proper shower"

I moved my queen next to his knight. "Check"

"Haley?" I looked up and met his gaze. "Please"

I sighed. I've been in the hospital for three full days, eating and showering here. Brooke and Peyton kept bringing me clothes and Lucas and Jake dropped by a couple of times with food and games. I just didn't want to leave him. But come to think of it, it would only be an hour and I do stink.

"Okay, I'm leaving" I said, making a decision.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed, exaggerated.

"That hurts by the way" I said, in mock hurt.

He laughed. "I'm just looking out for you Haley bear"

I grabbed my duffel bag off the floor and made my way to the door. "Don't you dare change the pieces" I said, referring to the chess game we were playing. "I know exactly where everything is"

"Weirdo" he mumbled loud enough for me to hear. I grinned and placed my hand on the doorknob. I opened the door but before I walked through, I turned around and ran to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He felt so weak and small in my arms and I prayed I could impart some of my youthful strength onto him.

"I love you" I said as I wrapped my arms around him tighter.

"And I you, Haley bear" he said.

Then I turned away and left.

Hallelujah 

Brooke was walking to a café down the road to meet up with Mouth for dinner when her phone rang. She fumbled in her designer bag for it and eventually pulled it out.

"Hello?" she said, as she continued to walk down the street.

"Hey, Brooke" Peyton's voice rang out. "Listen…"

"Hey, Blondie! Do you by any chance want to have dinner with me and Mouth in" she started to say before Peyton cut in.

"Brooke…" Peyton interrupted. "Nagume just died"

For the first time in Nathan's life, it seemed that he was getting on with his father. They were joking and laughing away and they even managed to talk about serious things in life. They were just having dinner in a steakhouse when he received a phone call.

"Hey Nathan" Lucas's voice said through the phone.

"Hey, Luke. What's up, man?" Nathan said, as he pointed to his father which steak he wanted on the menu. Dan nodded and signaled the waiter.

"Nagume just died" Lucas said.

Nathan's face paled. "Luke, where's Haley?" he said quickly.

"She doesn't know yet. She was at home, she wasn't there when he died" Lucas continued.

"Keep her safe, okay. Just make sure nothing happens to her" Nathan said frantically. He hung up the phone and stood up. "I'm sorry Dad" he said as he ran to the front door.

"Nathan!" Dan yelled. "Where are you going?"

But Nathan ignored him. As soon as he was outside, he hailed a cab and was on his way home to Haley.

Haley's POV

They tried to hide it from me. They tried not to tell me. But I knew. I knew it before they did. I knew the moment he died. Because I think subconsciously, I knew he was saying goodbye. They all stood around me, looking at me like I was some kind of lab specimen, looking at me like they think I was going to lose it. I wanted to tell them I was fine. Nagume, would you tell them I'm okay?

"Haley? We have to go" Brooke said softly. "They have to move the body"

They were trying to keep me away from him. I was lying on the narrow hospital bed, clutching him just like I had an hour ago. Only this time he wasn't hugging me back. His flesh was cold against mine and I tried to warm them up, but I couldn't. I tried, Nagume! I tried.

"Haley?" Jake this time. "Come on, buddy. Let's go"

I was tired. So unbelievably tired. I wanted to just close my eyes and sleep it off. Sleep everything off. Nagume is lucky, he doesn't have to face tragedies anymore. The tragedies of life. It's so unfair!

"I sat by his bed for three days" I whispered. "Three whole days. I promised myself he wouldn't be alone when he died. But he was. He died alone"

They didn't say anything. Brooke, Peyton, Jake and Lucas; none of them said a thing. They stared at each other uncomfortably as they shifted their weight.

"Why didn't he wait for me?" I continued calmly. "Why didn't he wait? God damn it, why!" I said, angrily.

"Haley?" Peyton started.

"No, its okay" I said breathing in slowly. Breathing calmly because I could when he couldn't. The irony of it all was finally I could do something he couldn't; breathe.

"Why does he look so at peace?" I asked. "Why does he look peaceful?" The wrinkles around his eyes had disappeared and his hands were lying loose be his side. "Oh, I know why. It's because I'm not with him"

The sobs came, nerve wracking. I clutched him and buried my head in his shoulder and cried. "Why did he leave me?" I sobbed. "Why?" I closed my eyes and clung to him, but it wasn't him was it? He was gone, his soul was flying through the sky to heaven above.

I heard someone enter the room and the footsteps became louder as whoever it was approached me. Strong arms lifted me away from the bed and I cried on Nathan's shoulder as I clung to him. "Why did he leave?" I sobbed as Nathan cradled me in his arms. He sat down on the chair by the bed and embraced me. And for the first time since Nathan had left, I felt as peace. How I loved him, My Nagume. "Help me, Nathan" I cried, tears streaming down my eyes.

"I'll do anything, Bugs" he whispered, as he held me tighter in his arms.

"Take the pain away" I cried, as I curled my hands into fists and pounded on his chest. "It hurts" I sobbed as I continued to hit him. He didn't bother defending himself; he let me hit him.

"I'm sorry, Hales. I'm sorry" he said as he bared the blows over and over again. "I can't"

I ignored him because just then I heard more people coming in. I lifted my head to see a few nurses shifting Nagume onto a wheeled bed and moving him away. "No" I whispered. I released myself from Nathan's embrace and ran towards the bed. The nurses walked faster as they pushed the bed out into the hallway. "They're taking him away" I screamed as I ran faster to reach the bed. I shoved past Brooke, Peyton, Lucas and Jake. I hear footsteps behind me and I knew Nathan was chasing after me.

I grabbed the end of the bed. "Don't take him" I said, crying "Don't take him". The nurses gave a sympathetic look but they gently pulled it from me and walked away wheeling the bed. I sank to my knees; so tired, so lost. I buried my head in my hands and cried to myself.

"Haley?" Nathan's voice called out. I looked up to see him kneeling next to me.

"Nathan" I said, reaching for him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I hugged him. "Don't leave me" I whispered.

The drive took a while but I enjoyed looking out of the window watching the trees pass us by. The sky was a clear blue and few clouds were formed. There was little wind but I knew that the closer we get to our destination, the windier it will become. I reached over to the driver's seat and held Nathan's hand in mine. He laced our fingers together and lifted my hand to kiss it.

"Thank you for driving me here" I said smiling at him.

He looked at me but he didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Words were never needed in the course of our love. I looked at him so handsome in his black shirt and black pants. I straightened my own black skirt and looked in the rear view mirror at my reflection self-consciously.

"You look great" he said, sneaking me a glance. I smiled at him again but I didn't say anything because we had reached our destination. He got off the car and ran to my side to open the door for me. He helped me out of the car and I looked around our surroundings. I was right; it was windier here than on the road. It was early in the morning, to early for anyone else to be out.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" he asked as he handed me the urn.

"I have to do this alone" I said. I kissed him before walking in front to the ocean. He stood by the car and watched as I took out my shoes and walked on the sand gingerly. The dry sand felt ticklish against my bare feet but the closer I got to the ocean and the wetter it become and all it felt was cold. I walked on until I stood knee high in the ocean.

The waves were gentle and the wind was blowing ideally to the ocean. The sun was rising in the horizon and the sky around was a mixture of colors. I clutched the urn to my heart not wanting to let go. I looked at the water, the reflection of the sun dancing on it. As my eyes scanned the almost still waters, I looked for a faint shadow of him. I looked for his soul.

I raised the urn and let the ashes tumble out of it, the wind blowing it to the ocean. Like a ray of light, the ashes flew through the sky just like he had always wanted to fly. I blew a kiss to the sky, hoping that wherever he was, he knew I was thinking of him. I hoped that what he believed was true, that your soul was bound to swim through the ocean for an eternity. As if by chance, somewhere about fifty feet away from me, something jumped from the water and looked at me. It waved and smiled and I smiled back. Then it was gone but somehow in his own way I knew that he was telling me he was at peace.

"Say hi to my parents, Nagume" I whispered.


	66. When Smiles Turn To Cries

I feel detached here. Removed almost from everyone. It's probably because no one knows I'm here or would ever look here.

The sound of footsteps stepping on fallen leaves making the familiar crunching noise made me look down at the ground some thirty feet below me.

Well, almost no one.

His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was looking on the ground as he walked towards the tree but when I looked down at him, he seemed to sense me and slowly raised his head. Our eyes met but I didn't smile or wave and he just continued looking at me intently. After a while, I looked away and ignored the sound of him climbing up the tree below me.

I leaned more comfortably against the tree trunk and let my legs fall over the branch with no barriers to stop it. I liked the feeling of my legs hanging lifelessly over air with the ground so far below me; it makes me feel free. The wind was howling in my ears and I stared up at the sky feeling the warmth of the sun drawing to a close. The sky stretched endlessly in front of me and I wondered how it would feel to soar in them. I closed my eyes and raised my arms beside me without thinking. I tilted to one side as I lost my balance and for a moment, I thought I was going to fall. But then a strong hand grabbed my arm and steadied me until I could sit up on my own.

"What did you do that for?" Nathan growled, clearly angry.

I shrugged, moving aside to make room for him. He placed his hand on my arm again to make sure I wouldn't tilt to one side. As soon as his weight rested on the branch I was sitting on, he let go of his hand.

"You shouldn't be here alone, Haley" Nathan said, annoyed. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

I ignored him and turned my back on him as I faced the sky. He let out a sigh as we settled into an angry silence. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I knew for a fact that he was watching me. I could practically see his dark blue eyes piercing me and the mouth involuntarily curving upwards in a half smirk. I smiled despite myself as I thought how well I knew my Nathan Scott.

Our silence didn't last long though as I could never be mad at him for long. I eventually sighed and turned so we were sitting side by side and I held out my hand to him. Without hesitating, he grabbed my hand and held on to it.

"Thank you" I finally said. "For the past week". For everything.

He didn't say anything. He knew what I meant. I was thanking him for being there for me even if I knew it was irrelevant. Even if I didn't he would still be there. My mind replayed the events of the past week; not being able to sleep and Nathan rocking me as my eyes eventually closed. Not being able to walk into the bathroom because it was there when I realized that Nagume had died and had puked all over the cold tiles. It was Nathan who had waited for me to sleep because I told him not to leave me and had scrubbed the floor clean at one in the morning. Breaking down in school suddenly and Nathan taking me home in the middle of P.E.

"I couldn't have gone through the pain without you", I said, truthfully.

"Okay"

"And I'm sorry I came up here alone"

He sighed then released my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled me to him so I was leaning against his chest. I rested against him and he kissed the top of my forehead as he pushed the strands of hair away from my head.

"How's Brooke?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Peyton said she's better. How do you know about her problem?" he asked, curiously.

I smiled as I craned my neck and looked up at him. "I don't know," I said, mischievously. "Read your mind?"

He laughed but then his expression turned serious. "Lucas was worried about her. He says it's his fault for rejecting her like that", he said. "The problem is it's easy for Brooke to get her hands on a bottle and when she does, she chugs in down as fast as she can. But there is good news".

"What?" I asked.

"Brooke's dad is home"

I was surprised and it showed on my face. "You mean he's actually here? Wow, that's big"

"Yeah, from what I gathered from Peyton, he seems to want to take a more hands on approach on raising Brooke" Nathan smirked like he was thinking i_t's about time._

"I hope he manages to stop her drinking. She's becoming an alcoholic and she's still a minor", I said. "You mentioned Brooke's dad, is her mother home too?"

Nathan shook his head. "Just her father. But one of them is better than none". There was a pause in which he continued. "Besides, I have a feeling he's taking her for that father student camping trip" he said, grinning.

"Oh God!" I exclaimed. "They still organize that?"

"Yeah, every year. And the worst thing is, Dan wants me to go with him this time" Nathan groaned.

"Can't you feign an injury or something?"

"Yeah and let him take me to a hospital where he'll make me take as many jabs as the doctors let him until I admit I lied" Nathan said sarcastically. "No thank you".

"I'm sorry. I know how much you hate spending time with him".

"It's okay. I-…" he paused as his eyes brightened and his mouth curved into a grin. "Wait, I've got an idea. Why not come with me?"

"For the camping trip?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah!"

I started laughing uncontrollably. Nathan actually had to hold me to ensure I didn't fall. My sides burst and my giggles came out in a continuous flow. When the laughter finally subsided, I said "good one, Nate".

"I'm serious".

"Come on Nate, don't tease me. The idea of you, me and Dan in the middle of the woods…is ridiculous" I said grinning.

"Please"

"You're serious" I suddenly realized.

"Yeah".

I suddenly felt claustrophobic. The free feeling I had disappeared. I felt like the skies were pressing down on me and the branch I was sitting on would fall any minute now. I removed Nathan's arm from around my waist. "I have to go".

"What?" he asked confused. "Why?"

"I just have to" I said as I carefully maneuvered my way around his and step down on the branch below me.

"Haley?" he said as he placed a hand on my arm to stop me. I looked up at him and saw hurt in his eyes.

"Let go of me, Nathan" I said, suddenly angry. Angry with him for making me feel worse about myself than I already do. I shoved his hand off and lowered my feet onto the branch below me.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" he yelled as he looked down at me. "What did I do?" he bellowed.

I ignored him and focused on climbing down. One step at a time Haley, I told myself as I was suddenly overcome with fear, don't look down. It was the first time I had ever felt scared climbing down this tree; I think it's because I was worried that Nathan wouldn't save me if I fell because I hurt him.

"Haley!" he called sharply. I looked up at him and scowled.

"What?" I screamed at him. "Can't you just leave me alone for once? I'm so sick of you", I shrieked as the tears formed in my eyes.

"Fine then!" he said angrily but I think I saw something glittering in his eyes.

"Fine then!" 

"Can't you at least tell me what I did?"

"You didn't do anything!"

"Then why are you pushing me away?"

"Because I can't have you leave me too, you moron!" I said as I looked at my feet, trying to find the next branch. One step at a time, Haley. I tested the branch with my foot then lowered my weight on it.

"What the hell does that mean?" he yelled.

I looked up at him and for a moment, I thought I saw tears on his cheeks. I clutched the tree trunk as I said crying, "It's my fault".

"No, it isn't".

"Nobody loses so many, so young. It can't be bad luck. It has to be me".

"It's not your fault, Bugs"

"I can't have you leave me too", I said looking up at him as my foot swung around in air trying to find the next branch. "So, I'm leaving first"

"Stop being so ridiculous!" he bellowed at me.

"Stop making me feel worse!"

"Stop pushing me away!"

I scowled at him as I slowly lowered myself. "Just leave me alone Nathan. You know you're as sick of me as I am of you" I said as I let go of the branch I was holding. My feet touched nothing but air and without realizing it, I was suddenly falling. Falling through the sky with my back facing the ground and my face looking up at the sky. It was like I was falling in slow motion. And all I could see was Nathan's face as he shouted "No!". I reached out with my hands as I fell. I wasn't sure if I was reaching for the branch sticking out or for Nathan.

Nathan's face was all I could see suddenly and his mouth opened and he must have screamed my name but I couldn't hear anything. All I could hear was the howling sound of the wind as I fell through the air and my hair whipped around my face. The fall lasted all of ten seconds and it was the worst ten seconds of my life not because I thought I was going to die or because I fell ten feet through the air but because it was the first time in my life I had ever seen Nathan Scott cry.

My lower back took most of the impact and I experienced whiplash as my head snapped back but it hit the ground hard before it could snap in front again. My upper back hit the ground next but the force it hit was less due to impulse. My legs and arms fell lifeless on the ground. I closed my eyes as the pain hit me suddenly. It was so intense, the pain and so much that I blanked out for a moment. I couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't hear and the best part, I couldn't feel. When I finally came to, I heard someone laughing hilariously. As I opened my eyes, I realized that the person was me.

I laughed like I hadn't laugh in a while; it was so funny…me falling like that. And I told Nathan not to leave me and that I was going to leave him. Haha, if I died right then, it would have been true. I laughed and laughed until I couldn't breathe. I sucked in my breath but continued hooting hysterically.

"Haley, Haley" someone called out to me. My head was still on the ground and I was laughing to hard to lift it up and see who it was. I was giggling uncontrollably as Nathan came and sat down next to me. I reached for him and he lowered himself to me. I pulled him into my arms and my laughter turned to sobs and I was crying uncontrollably into his shoulder.

He cradled my neck and held me tighter. He kissed me over and over again as he kept muttering, "I won't leave you" repeatedly.

And even if I couldn't see him, I knew he was crying too. And I had never loved him more than I did then.


	67. I Am Here

"I'll come"

"You'll come? Really?" Nathan asked surprised.

"On one condition"

"Anything"

I pointed at the ice cream truck that was parked at the curb. "Buy me one?"

Nathan grinned. "Two scoops or one?" 

"Two" I said, patting my stomach comically. "Wait, you haven't even asked what flavor I wanted" I called after him.

"Double chocolate fudge with extra nuts" he said, as he walked towards the truck, feeling in his pocket for change. I smiled after him then faced the other direction, the wind blowing my hair against my face. I brushed my hair away and started walking away. The smile slid off my face. My feet moved on its own accord and my mind was blank except for the remnants of a song I used to sing.

"The night's darkness has fallen,

And dawn seems light years away,

The angels no longer sing,

For even they've given up on hope.

The child sleeps in her bed, her tears staining her pillow,

And the poor lie watching the stars as they sleep under the willow,

And you're crying because you miss the way things were,

But tonight it'll be okay, for tonight I'll be here"

The River Court was best at sunset. The sun was setting, its orange glow spread across the sky like it was trying one last time to fill the world with light and failing. I wonder why the sun's glow always seems more beautiful at night. Then again, all endings were beautiful. Maybe because you stop taking it for granted when it ends. Because you know you have to hold on to every second of it before it leaves you.

I closed my eyes and continued singing

"I'll hold your hand in mine and we'll sing to us,

As the shadows grow outside our window,

We'll sway to the melodies of our past,

And somehow we'll make it last

And we'll fall asleep underneath the stars,

As light slowly overcomes the darkness,

But I'll wake up alone holding on to the way things were,

Back to the moment, to the night you were here"

"Is that how the song ends?" Nathan asked me as he came up from behind.

"Yes" I whispered, not looking at him.

"Do you still want your ice cream?" he asked as he stood next to me.

I shook my head, suddenly not in the mood anymore.

"Good, it melted as I walked up here. Why are we here?" 

"I don't know" I said softly as I looked at the river below me, the reflection of the sun gleaming in the sun's waters.

"It's okay to miss him".

"You know what I realized?" I said suddenly. Not waiting for him to answer, I continued "That we live in a world where darkness always triumphs over light at the end of the day"

"That's not true. Light comes back to fight another day"

"Some people don't live another day"

Nathan didn't say anything. He just sighed and walked behind him towards the old willow tree that we kissed under for the first time since I came back. I watched him sit under the tree and lean his head against the trunk. I looked away and stared at the sun setting. The sky was no longer a blazing red, it had dimmed and echoes of purple and blue streaked the sky. The River Court was a bad place for me to be at that moment. It was there that Nagume told me how he was going to die. Nagume, the boy who became Nagume, the man with dreams of being Nagume, the doctor. Now, he's just Nagume, among the dead.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I turned away, hoping Nathan wouldn't see. Would this pain ever leave? This gaping hole in my heart that seemed to weight it down? I clamped my hand over my mouth and stifled my sobs.

"The child sleeps in her bed, her tears staining her pillow,

And the poor lie watching the stars as they sleep under the willow"

I turned around to face Nathan who was looking at me intently as he sang. I brushed the tears away from my face but I knew that he knew I was crying. He probably knew before me. The wind was whipping my hair around my face and for a moment it covered my eyes so I couldn't see him… But I could still hear.

And you're crying because you miss the way things were,

But tonight it'll be okay, for tonight I'll be here

"I'll hold your hand in mine and we'll sing to us,

As the shadows grow outside our window,

We'll sway to the melodies of our past,

And somehow we'll make it last"

I couldn't help myself anymore. I took one last longing look at the sun. Then I turned and ran towards Nathan. I was sobbing again as I sank into his arms, crying against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head as he helped me cry.

"And we'll fall sleep underneath the stars

As light slowly overcomes darkness,

And you'll wake up remembering the way things were,

And still I'll be here".

"Scrambled eggs or poached?"

"When was the last time you cooked, Dad?" 

Mr. Davis frowned. "College. I think"

Brooke sat down at the kitchen stool and shook her head. "Cereal"

Her father groaned. "You're not going to get fat on that, Brooke"

"I'll have two bowls then"

"Fine, I'll make the eggs for myself. And you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself when you see me eating it"

_Five minutes later_

"Get the extinguisher! Quick. It's on fire!" Mr. Davis yelled.

"Where is it?" Brooke screamed as she ran out of the kitchen.

"I don't know! Look for it!" 

Brooke found it hanging in the basement and she grabbed it and sped up the stairs screaming "I got it!"

"Hurry!"

Brooke ran towards the smoky kitchen and blindly made her way to the stove. She couldn't see the nozzle but her fingers found it and she sprayed. A yell from her father proved that her aiming was a bit off. She sprayed again at the stove this time and soon the fire was out.

"Thank God" she exclaimed as she put the extinguisher down and brushed her sweaty forehead. "How on Earth did you manage to burn eggs in two minutes?" 

"It wasn't the eggs. It was the toast".

Brooke smiled and her grin outstretched at the sight of her father. She burst out laughing as she took in his appearance.

"What's so funny?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Your eyebrows are singed and your face is completely white" she managed to say and she clutched her stomach, doubling back in laughter.

"Yours is white too" her father retorted.

"No, it isn't"

Her father reached for the fire extinguished and before she could protest, he said 'close your eyes' and sprayed her face.

"Hey!" she yelled, wiping the cool substance off her eyelids. "Very mature"

"You want to see mature?" he asked. "Wait until the camp"

"Dad! You're kidding!"

HE sat down at the kitchen stool, reaching for the cereal. "Can't wait to see your friends, Lamb-Lamb"

"Are you going to call me that during camp?"

"Of course, honey! How do I embarrass you then?" he said through a mouth full of cereal.

"Dad" she grumbled as she sat down opposite him. Then she suddenly smirked "Can't wait to tell everyone you burnt toast!"

He paused for a moment then said "I'll keep mum if you don't say a word about that"

"Pinkie swear?"

"Don't you trust your old man?" he asked in mock hurt.

"Of course not"

"Fine" he said as they linked pinkies.

"Father son camp?" Lucas started laughing. "A camp for fathers and sons? Wow, one whole weekend in the forest with Dan. Where no one can hear you scream" Lucas cackled.

"Technically, it's for daughters as well but yeah you get the point" Nathan said as he grabbed the ball from Lucas and shot. The ball went in precisely. Lucas ran after the ball as Nathan continued "And Haley's coming with me"

Lucas stopped short, his arm outstretched reaching for the ball. He shook his head as if he was trying to think if he really heard correctly. "Haley's coming with you?"

"Yup"

"For the camp?"

"Hmmm"

"For the father son camp?

"Uh-huh"

"With Dan?"

"Yes"

Lucas went still for a moment. Then he said "good luck"

Nathan threw the ball at him.

"So, my dad actually went and bought three brand new sleeping bags and a tent and like a million types of insect repellants" Peyton said, as she sat cross legged on Brooke's bed.

Brooke snorted. "At least your dad is preparing for the trip. All my dad is doing is telling me how much he's going to embarrass me. He hasn't even packed! He keeps telling me we should rough it out!"

Peyton grinned then watched as Brooke pulled out several outfits from her closet.

"I've missed you buddy" Peyton suddenly said seriously.

"Do you think I'll need heels for the trip? I mean these heels are more built in, you know, they might be alright for hiking? And you never know who you're going to meet in the wo-.."

"Did you hear what I said?" Peyton asked, her blue eyes dancing with laughter.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to avoid the whole soppy moment"

Peyton threw a pillow at her. "Please for the love of God bring some proper shoes for the trip"

"Define proper"

"Not capable of breaking your ankle"

"Define capable"

"I'm serious, Brooke. I'm not lending you my shoes again or any other item of clothing"

"Why not" Brooke pouted.

"Because every time I lend you my clothes, they always come back different" 

"Define different"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You always stitch the bottom part of the tops inside so they show my stomach and you somehow make it one size smaller"

"It's call good detergent" Brooke said, winking as she faced her closet once more. "Do you think I'll need heels or not?"

"No"

"Is that a definite no or a maybe, not sure no?"

"It's a no"

"You're a fun sucker"

"Which means I'm a sucker for fun" Peyton said, sticking her tongue out at her. "Wait" she said slowly. "Is that a good thing?"

"I guess not because no one really likes you P.Sawyer" Brooke teased. She turned around to look at Peyton. "Ouch, burn!" she said.

Peyton blinked then pointed a finger at Brooke. "Your dad's a bad influence on you, you know that don't you?"

Brooke ignored her. "Hey, should I wear more green to coordinate with those green stuff in nature or more blue to coordinate with the sky?"

"Green stuff? You mean the trees, right?" 

"Minor details, P.Sawyer"

"Wear nothing to coordinate with the inside of your head. Ouch, burn"

Brooke pointed a finger at Peyton. "I'm a bad influence on you, you know that don't you?"

Peyton bounced of the bed, laughing. "Okay anyway, I have to go, Brooke. Got to help my dad pack ten suitcases for 'the weekend'".

She walked towards the door and was one foot out when Brooke suddenly called out "Hey, Sawyer?". Peyton turned.

"I miss you too, bud"

Peyton smiled at her then snuck out the room.

"Why am I here?" I asked as I lunged my suitcase on of the boot of the car.

Nathan looked at me confused. "I thought you agreed to come"

For a moment, I blanked out at the sight of the confused adorable frown on his face. Then I blinked. "I did but it was a moment of weakness"

"How so?"

"I was looking at you" I blurted out. I nearly smacked myself on the head as soon as I said those words. Nathan's ears went red and he grinned sheepishly as he grabbed my suitcase from me.

"So, anyway. Um… are we... um…. going to go on the bus or what?" I asked, trying to act normal.

"Yeah, come on. Before the good seats are taken" he said as he grabbed my hand and led me towards the line.

To tell you the truth, I was in a pretty good mood, better than I had been in weeks. I mean, just looking at Nathan was enough to lift my spirits and the idea of being with him for the whole weekend should have had the same effect on me as Prozac. And it did. But the sight of the bus just blew me away.

It's weird how many different ways you can interpret grief or loss. Looking up at the bus, I was suddenly struck by the fact that the last time I sat in one of them, Nagume had been alive. I felt like I was cheating him of our memories. Like I shouldn't sit in the because that meant I was making new memories. Memories that he should have been in. Do I deserve to move? Did I deserve to live when he who was so much better than me didn't?

I didn't even realize that his hand had slipped away from mine. I didn't even realize that he was staring at me intently with a worried look on his face. I looked at him scared. He reached for me but I pushed his hand away. I pushed him away… I didn't even realize I was running… He yelled my name but I told him to leave me alone. I ran around the other side of the bus and leaned panting against it.

I could see Nathan through the rearview mirror of the bus and with a heavy heart, I saw the set of his shoulders and the look on his face. He looked thoroughly miserable. He was holding something in his hand and with a pang, I recognized the cheap plastic bracelet. My eyes found his face again and I had never seen him look so lost.

It was at that moment did I understand. That what we had, what we shared was so much more than love. We were connected in a way that we were not two people but one. He felt everything I felt and I was only happy when he was. We were two completely different people yet we were one. He was more than my everything; he was my existence. I could not live without him. It wasn't that I would not… I couldn't, plain and simple.

This sudden realization didn't please me. Instead, it scared me. Because I wondered what would happen if he ever found out my secret…

_The way things were….._

_When you were near…_

_And I was here._

_I am always here…_


	68. But I Love You

"And then she turned around and looked at me

"And then she turned around and looked at me! I mean she actually looked at me!"

Thud! Thud! Thud!

"And our eyes locked and it was like...Haley. Haley. Could you please stop doing that please?"

I stopped whacking my head against the window of the bus and turned to face Ronald Peters.

"I'm sorry" I said sweetly. "Is this bothering you, Ronald?"

"Yes, the noise is at least"

I nodded understandingly. "So you don't like it when this annoying voice... I mean sound keeps buzzing in your ear like a fly that just won't leave"

He nodded enthusiastic. "Exactly"

I rolled my eyes. The guy just couldn't take a hint. Or a hike for that matter.

"So, about a month ago, I nearly bumped into Brooke. It almost turned into that whole movie hands touching thing and..."

I was just about to continue whacking my head against the window when I decided that enough was enough.

"I'm sorry Ronald but have you ever talked to Brooke even once before?"

He blinked. "Well, no"

"Never ever?"

"No"

"Except in your dreams?"

He paused. "What's your point?"

"Well, what's the point of being in love with someone if you never make a move?"

"I'm just waiting for the right moment!"

"No time like the present"

"Like I'm really going to take advice from you" he scoffed. "Like you're some relationship guru"

"Well" I said slowly. "I am dating Nathan Scott"

"Oh yeah" he said after a moment. "Forgot about that":

I rolled my eyes, giving up. I turned to face the window and tried to tune him out. As soon as I had run away from Nathan, I had jumped onto the second bus wanting to avoid him. It worked and I had spent the first ten minutes, staring into space feeling sorry for myself and regretting my decision because I already missed him. Then one of my tutees, Ronald Peters, the biggest pain in the... well, a pain, came and sat down next to me and started talking about his love for Brooke Davis and I spent the next one hour, whacking my head against the window feeling sorry for myself and regretting my decision.

Ronald started talking again and I dove for my knapsack. I quickly rummaged through my bag, frantically searched for my iPod.

"Where is it? Where is it?" I said my heart racing as he continued talking. If I heard another sentence from him, I was going to lose it. It seemed like his mouth was moving in slow motion saying "Aaannnndddd ssssshhhhheeee looookkkkkeeeedddd aaattttt mmeeee"

"Yes!" I screamed as my fingers enclosed around my headphones and I yanked my iPod out of my bag. People in the bus turned to stare at me but my sanity was worth more to me than my pride. I switched on the iPod and the dreaded sigh flashed on that I knew could possibly be the death of me. Battery low.

"No" a moan escaped my lips. With a quick glance at Ronald, I quickly wore the headphones feigning nodded my head in tune with the music.

"So, do you think she likes me?" he asked clearly. I ignored him and looked out the window, watching the scenery pass me. The sun shone in the heavens above and my favorite shade of blue echoed into the sky. God, how I loved those blue eyes. I closed my eyes and leaned against the window, picturing him in my mind.

I could see his tall silhouette and his dark hair in my mind, his face frowning as he bit on his lip, holding a basketball in his hands and tossing it back and forth. I could picture him bouncing it on the ground and taking a shot, the ball leaving his hands... my heart reaching out to him as I could see his eyes shining with hope as he watched the ball soar through the sky... and...

I felt my headphones yanked from my ears. "Hey! I was listening to that" I said, annoyed.

"The battery's dead" he smirked pointing at the iPod screen. I didn't know if I wanted to break his neck or the iPod.

"So do you or do you not think she likes me?" he asked hopefully.

"Ronald" I groaned. "We've been through this a million times. Every time I try to teach you maths, you wonder how many strands of hair she's got. When I teach you English, you ask me if she's more fluent in that language or French because you want to be able to communicate with her better"

He frowned. "You never answered the question"

I let out a little scream and tugged my hair. "No! I don't think she likes you! She never has and never will and you have to stop obsessing about her! Because it will never work between the two of you. She does not like you!"

He paused. "What's your point, Haley?"

I slapped my head to my forehead and let my hand slide down my face slowly. Looking around the bus, I spotted the familiar head of dark hair in a seat across the aisle and at the front of the bus. She was sitting with her father but he was already standing up and walking over to talk to Mr. Sawyer who was tucking a blanket around a sleeping Peyton.

"Oh my God, Ronald! Now is your chance dude! She's all alone. Go talk to her" I said, praying to God to forgive me for this sin.

"Are you... Are you sure?" he said, nervously.

"Yes! Yes, man! No time like the present!" I said joyfully. "Go get your girl!". Hopefully Brooke would forgive me...eventually.

"Okay. Okay. I'm going to do it!" he said standing up. He looked around nervously before running a hand through his hair. "Okay. Yes. Okay" as he walked slowly to Brooke.

"See ya" I said casually as I watched him talk to her. She smiled at him friendly but her smile soon vanished when he sat down next to her and started talking. I breathed in a sigh of relief.

Finally, peace and quiet.

"Women make me sick" Mouth said as he sat down next to me.

I groaned inwardly as I sank down in my seat.

"I mean look at her. The way she's fawning all over him" he said as he gestured at Brooke.

"Women" I agreed as I shook my head in disgrace.

"They break your heart and then just... let you be" he said as he curled his lip in disgust.

"They should all be burnt" I said, sinking lower in my seat.

"Who?" Mouth asked looking confused.

"Women" I said obviously.

"I mean you're there for them. You get along great. But all they want is to be your friend"

"You pay for lunch, hang around while they shop, carry their books and what do they do?" I continued for him.

"They break your heart" he answered.

"Break it like a fat kid breaks a chair he sits on. Breaks it like a burglar breaks the window of your house. Breaks it like..."

"Haley" he interrupted slowly. "You're a woman"

I nodded pleased. "Glad you think so, Mouth. Nathan seems to think so too"

Mouth scoffed. "Women"

Nathan's POV

I waited outside the second bus as soon as it parked. I leaned against the yellow bus, watching students and fathers leave the vehicle and heading for the great outdoors beyond. The five hour journey with Dan for company was hell. Sure, the part where Whitey 'accidentally' spilled chocolate milk all over him should have been enough to brighten my mood for at least an hour but it just reminded me of Haley's brown eyes and how we left things.

Almost every one was out of the bus now. Brooke and her dad had passed with some weird red headed kid in tow. I think he was one of Haley's tutees. I nodded to some guys I knew and leaned more comfortable against the bus.

Finally I heard it. The familiar sound of those shoes hitting the floor of the bus and I could tell it was her before I even saw her. I quickly stepped in front of the bus just as she was walking down the stairs and I grabbed her firmly and pulled her to the side of the bus.

"Nathan!" she exclaimed as I gently pushed her against the wall of the bus. I lowered my head and met her lips, kissing her softly as I cradled her head in my hands. She resisted first but finally gave in. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back.

I finally pulled back but kept her head cradled in my hands. We looked at each other intently for a long moment.

"Okay now listen Bugs, I don't care how many times you're going to push me away, I swear to God that nothing will stop me from coming back" I said, repeating the lines I had carefully rehearsed for hours the whole bus trip.

"Nathan" she started.

"No buts, Hales. It's you and me. Just like it's always been. You're not getting rid of me. Ever"

A smile graced her lips slowly. "Ever?"

"Never ever" I said firmly.

"Is that a promise Nathan Scott?"

"Always and forever, no matter how stubborn you become" I said seriously.

She was about to raise her lips to mine again when she pulled back and asked "but..."

I kissed her again, interrupting her flow of words. "We have the weekend, Hales and the rest of lives for buts. Because you could rob a bank, cheat on me or kill someone but I would never stop wanting to be with you".


	69. Campfire Talks

"When you said we were going camping, I have to admit that I had a different picture than the one I'm having now"

"When you said we were going camping, I have to admit that I had a different picture than the one I'm having now"

Nathan picked up a piece of dry wood from the ground and turned to face me.

"What do you mean?" he asked clearly amused.

"Well, I was kind of picturing us 'roughing' it up in like a cabin. With cable. And showers. Definitely showers. And God forbid! Hot water!"

"That sounds more like a vacation"

"Isn't a camping trip supposed to be like a vacation?"

"Nope, especially not with the Grinch lurking around" Nathan said jerking his thumb at Dan who stood a dozen feet away from our camping site. He was talking on the phone and from the looks of it, he looked really mad.

Nathan clapped his hands together and adjusted the cap he wore on his head. "Okay, so what else do we have to do?"

"Well" I said, checking my fingers off. "We pitched the tent, unpacked and collected the wood for a fire, brought matches for the fire and borrowed gasoline for the fire so I'm thinking we built a fire now?" I looked up at him expectedly.

He laughed. "Haley James? A pyromaniac?"

"Come on! You're telling me you don't find a fire exhilarating and beautiful?"

"No, I think it's practical and dangerous"

"Nathan Scott. Always the pragmatist" I scoffed. "That's what every girl looks for in her Prince Charming by the way"

"I know you did" he winked and I blushed. How he managed to make me feel the way he did after all these years still puzzled me. He was my fire.

"Actually, it's a little early to be starting a fire now and I really doubt we have enough wood" Nathan said looking at the two pieces of dry wood at his feet.

"Hey, our ancestors made it work with two sticks"

"They also had a lot more free time on their hands" Nathan said as he glanced over his shoulder at Dan. "Come on, let's go"

"But…" I started, feeling guilty. This was supposed to be a father-son sort of camping trip and I was stealing Nathan away from Dan.

"Come on" Nathan said firmly, grabbing my hand. He led me away from the site and away from the sounds of people setting up camp. I let myself be guided and as soon as we were in a secluded quiet spot, he stopped and turned to face me. He let go of my hand and stepped closer to me. He brushed my hair away from my face and slowly traced the outline of my lips.

"I thought we were supposed to be collecting wood," I whispered as he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"All we need is two sticks, right?" he said quietly as his lips hovered over mine.

"Right" I managed to say before he lowered his lips to mine and slowly…

"Haley!"

_No! No no no no. Not now, Brooke!_

Brooke burst out from nowhere, her normally immaculate brown hair was frizzed around her and her face was wet from perspiration.

"Haley! There you are!" Brooke said, panting a little from exertion.

I nudged closer to Nathan. "You think she can see us?" I whispered.

"Well since she's standing right in front of us, unless we're invisible, I would say yes"

"Are you sure? Can you just check?"

"Haley, I'm sure"

"Shh! She might hear us!"

"Oh shut up, Hales" Brooke snapped as she tried to swat a fly that was buzzing around her head. The fly finally landed on her forehead and she slapped it. "Ouch! Damn it!" she said rubbing her forehead.

"I'll be over there Bugs if you need me" Nathan said pointing to a clearing fifty feet away. He bent down and kissed my cheek before walking away.

"Anyway, Hales. I need your help" Brooke said desperately.

"I'm not a miracle worker Brooke" I said bending down to pick up a stick.

"Not the time for jokes Haley! My life is falling apart as we speak!"

"Who said it was a joke?" 

Brooke ignored me. "Ronald Peters, have you heard of him?"

Uh-Oh. Something tells me this isn't going to bode well for me.

"Yeah, he's one of my tutees" I said casually not looking at her.

"Well, the guy's a nut! Ever since the bus ride here, all he does is follow me and hang on to my every word and stalks me! I mean I never even met the guy until today and now he's my shadow!"

"Come on Brooke, it can't be that bad"

"He's knitting matching jumpers for our kids"

"Oh"

"And I tried really nicely to tell him that I'm not interested but he keeps saying stuff like 'don't deny your true feelings for me, we're meant to be' and I'm like…" Brooke gives a blank look. "So I said 'I never told you I was into you' and he's like 'you don't have to. Your friend told me which works out perfectly for us' but I tell you something Haley, this does not work out perfectly for me! Not at all!"

"I can see that"

"All I want to know is who told me I liked him?" Brooke said thinking hard. "I mean when I get my hands on them…" she made a chocking motion with her hands.

"Well the thing is Brooke" I began as I slowly walked backwards away from her.

"It must have been someone close to me but also knows him" Brooke continued, her brain working hard. Something inside her must have snapped because she looked up at me very slowly. "Haley?"

"Yes?" I squeaked.

"Did you tell Ronald I like him?" she asked slowly.

"You have to know, Brooke that the situation was very delicate and I didn't have a choice…" I started quickly.

Brooke interrupted me. "Haley?" 

"I mean he was sitting there going on and on and on and I was this close to killing myself" I held up two fingers a centimeter apart. "This close"

"Haley" Brooke said dangerously.

"Okay, I got to go" I said turning around and running towards the clearing Nathan was it. A second later, I heard footsteps behind me chasing me.

"Haley, when I get my hands on you!" Brooke growled from behind me. I sped up and reached the clearing in three seconds flat. Spotting Nathan leaning against a tree, I grabbed his hand and pulled.

"Come on, we have to go!" I said grabbing him and running.

"Haley, wha-a…?" he said as he saw Brooke running towards me.

"Run!" I screamed as he finally moved. He followed behind me as I sped through the forest, weaving in and out of trees. The only sounds we could hear were the sound of our footsteps on the ground and our panting. Okay, my panting. Nathan's an athlete (or so he claims) and he's fit. We ran and ran and ran until I stumbled over a hidden tree root. I would have fallen but Nathan grabbed my arm just in time.

We looked at each other for a moment before collapsing into little giggles. I clutched my stomach as I laughed weakly and Nathan was on his knees laughing his head off.

"That's one friend you won't see in a while", Nathan said between fits of laughter. "How could you do that to her?"

"Ouch" I giggled, clutching my stomach as the pain of laughing too much too quickly settles in. "Just call me Miss Matchmaker"

"You have to be the worst matchmaker in the history of matchmakers" Nathan said looking at me fondly. "Come here"

I walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled up to him and look up into his eyes "so, what now?"

"This isn't good enough for you, Miss James?" 

"Well, when we're camping, aren't we supposed to experience camping?"

"Okay then, come on" he grabbed my hand and started walking.

"You know if you want to kill me, then I don't think there's a better place than here" I said as I looked around and the tall trees casting its shadow on the clearing and the silence it instilled.

"There's a camp site a hundred meters that way", he said, pointing to his right.

"Oh" I said squinting in that direction but can't see anything. "Are you sure?"

Nathan looks offended. "Haley, do I have to remind you that I was a Boy Scout for a year?"

"What? That thing?" I asked, ludicrously. "You went for one meeting and bought the outfit but that was it"

"No I didn't" he said defensively.

"Yes you did"

"I went for two"

"Oh" I thought it over. "Once was the time you examined moss and the other?" 

"The other time we examined ferns"

"I forget. Why didn't you ever go for more than those times?"

"I'd rather hung out with you but I was an official Boy Scout!"

"More like a Scott Boy" I said. My eyes lit up. "That was funny, huh?"

"Hilarious, you should do stand up comedy"

"Don't tempt me. I might leave you and go pursue a career in that" I teased. Nathan grinned but I can see a little hurt in his eyes. Me leaving him has always been a sore topic for us since I did leave him when we were nine.

"Don't forget the little people when you're famous" he said lightly.

"Honey, please, you're unforgettable" I squeezed his arm. "I do mean that you know". He nodded and I turn away, suddenly remembering. "Oh yeah! We used to sneak out, you in your uniform and play in that old playground so no one would see us! Haha, and you could never really play because you never wanted to get the uniform dirty"

"You never wanted to get your nails dirty! I remember once when I had to spent half and hour, getting out the dirt in them because you were crying on how nobody would love a girl with, I believe your words were 'filthy' nails"

"But it's true"

"But I wouldn't have minded either way"

"Yes you would! Every time I touch you, you would flinch"

Nathan thought it over. "I didn't know that the basis of our relationship was built on the state of your nails" 

"Oh, honey. You've got so much to learn"

"So have you" he said as we walk into a beach site. The beach ends with an endless lake stretching for miles no end, the sunlight playing on its water. A few people are hanging around the beach, playing volleyball or sun tanning but they were further away.

"Why are we here?" I asked looking around curiously. "Not exactly camping material"

"Not that" he said, jerking his head at the volleyball players. "That" he said pointing at a small cabin near the water's edge.

I looked at the cabin. "Oh no! No Nathan! No way!"

The cabin was filled with kayaks and canoes and every other water equipment you can find. Nathan politely asked the man behind the counter for a two- person canoe while I read every article on the walls of the cabin.

"You okay?" Nathan asked as he walked over to me. The man behind the counter has gone to get the canoe.

"Nathan! Look!" I said pointing frantically at an article. "Read it!"

" 'Woman has plastic surgery to fix blindness'" he read

"What?" I said confused. Then I snapped "No! The one below it! 'Man gets sliced in half by motorboat' and there's a picture! There's actually a picture!" I said, looking sick.

"Haley, it was ten years ago and it wasn't even here"

"Okay what about this?" I said pointing at the next article. " 'Women stranded in the ocean, nine months pregnant'"

"Haley, I really doubt you have to worry about that"

"I thought you were a pragmatist!" I snapped. "It's a lake Nathan! No land for miles! Just water everywhere!"

"Haley" he started but I cut him off.

"Humans aren't designed for water, Nathan! We have no gills, or flippers or the proper respiration system!"

I have got a confession. All my life, I've been afraid of the water. And Nathan knows this. He always seemed to think it was his goal in his life is to let me face my fears.

"Naty, why is it that you have to help me face my fears and I'm not doing the same for you?" I asked, trying to steer away the subject from water and me.

"Because I'm fearless", he said staring at the articles on the wall.

"Come on Naty. Let me in"

"I don't know. Why aren't you?"

"Seriously"

"You're changing the subject"

"Hey, look a rare bird!" I said, pointing to the window. Nathan didn't look convinced. "Come on Nathan. I don't want to".

"Haley. You're doing this and it's final"

"But-" I started.

"No buts" he said firmly and I knew that there was no point in arguing with him. He had that look in his eyes that forbade argument. But as I looked closer into his eyes, I saw something else. I blinked, wondering if it was really there.

For the first time in a long time, I saw fear in his eyes.

"Nate, wha..a-?" I started before a man came up to us with a canoe and two paddles.

"Here's the equipment. You break it, you buy it. Bring it back in an hour or less" the man said pointedly.

Nathan carried the stuff and we walked outside in silence. I was trying to work up the courage to ask him if he was okay. Normally, I could tell Nathan everything. I would tell him things about me that I wouldn't even admit to myself. We would talk about everything and nothing and communication was never a problem with us.

But talking about him was something we rarely did. He was always the calm one, the composed one the one in control. He never told me how he felt or what he was going through. Everything was about me. If I was okay or if I was having a bad day. He hated talking about himself. He liked me to think he was fearless. He liked to protect me, which was one reason why I loved him so much but I wish he would let me in sometimes.

"Weather's perfect" Nathan suddenly said, breaking the silence.

"Yup"

"Good day to be in the water huh?"

"Nope"

"Haley…"

"Nathan…"

"Get in the canoe"

I sighed and gave him an annoyed look. Then I bent down and sat in the canoe as it gently rocked on the water. I held on to the sides of the canoe to steady myself and gently relaxed as the canoe finally came to a standstill. Nathan slid in the seat behind me and handed me an oar.

"Ready?"

"I hate you"

"I've come to accept it" he said as he pushed us away from the shore and started paddling.

"I mean it. I loathe you" I said as I looked into the water. He was paddling very fast now and the strong movements of the oars increased the distance between us and land by a considerable amount.

"Nathan, I'm scared"

"It's just water, Hales"

"Uh-huh" I whispered as I watched the gentle ripples forming as we broke through the stillness of the water. We paddled in silence for a while. I turned around to catch a glimpse of him and my heart tightened the second I saw him. He was shadowing his eyes with his face as he faced his right. I smiled to myself and turned away to look in front of me.

The ocean was beautiful. It was its beauty, the way the sunset's ray played on it waves that scared me. The vastness and its eternal presence… the ocean was a glimpse of eternity. Hundreds of years from now, two people in love would still be looking at the same ocean feeling the same way.

No, not the same way. No one could feel this way. No one could need anyone the way I needed this boy.

I, who have lost nearly everyone I loved, could not bear to lose the ocean. Because no matter what happens to me, I will always be able to feel the way I feel here.

_Haley?_

_Why'd you leave me?_

_Haley…_

_It wasn't fair. You should have waited._

_It was time._

_Should have waited. Should have waited. You should have waited!_

"Haley! Haley!" I heard Nathan call from behind me. I blinked and turned to face him.

"What?" I said wearily.

"You were yelling" he said, looking concerned.

"That's because he can't hear me from here Nate" I said softly.

"You burned my marshmallow"

"No, I didn't. That's how it's supposed to look"

"All burnt?" 

"Yeah, you're lucky. Mine is only semi burnt"

I rolled my eyes and gently took a bite of the marshmallow. I immediately made a face as soon as I swallowed it.

"That's disgusting" I said sticking my tongue.

"Have some of mine" he said as he dangled his marshmallow in front of my mouth. I was about to take a bite when he squashed it in my face.

"Hey!" I said as the melted part of the sugary treat landed on my nose.

"Don't worry. It's cleanable"

"Is that a real word?" I asked as he put his stick down and turned to face me.

"Yup"

"You know what else is real?" I asked innocently. "This!" I said as I squashed another marshmallow in his face. He defended himself by grabbing my hands and ducking his head. I struggled against his hold for a while and we started laughing hysterically. It was one of those moments where we were just too high on something that we couldn't have thought straight. Other people would have blamed it on the campfire, I blamed it on love.

An hour later, I was sitting again in the campfire but this time I was alone. My solitary marshmallow was balanced on a stick, burnt by the embers of the fire but I for once was too lost in thought to notice.

"Hey, James. Those things are meant for eating you know" Peyton said as she sat down on the log next to me.

"Hey Sawyer" I said as I stared at my burned marshmallow. I sighed and threw it on the ground.

"Where's Nathan?" she asked as she picked up another stick and grabbed the bag of marshmallows on the ground.

"Oh, he went somewhere with the guys and Dan for some….guy thing" I said vaguely.

"Oh, that. Yeah, my dad went too. Didn't really explain what it was though" she said thoughtfully. "What do you think it is?"

"Honestly?" I asked, frowning. "I think they went to throw sticks in the river to test their manhood".

She took a bite of her marshmallow. "I think they took a midnight hike through the deepest part of the jungle"

"To fight off mountain lions and creatures of the night" 

"And battle a dragon at the end for a beautiful princess"

"Who is actually an ogre but it's alright because they fall in love"

"And they get rewarded for being so brave"

"You're both wrong" a new voice called behind us. Brooke came out of nowhere and sat on the other side of me. "They're playing cards about twenty feet away from us"

"And you would know this how?" I asked, as I scuffed my shoe on the ground.

"I've been spying on Peyton's dad for the past ten minutes. He's a total biff" she said as she grabbed a stick. "Anyone brought marshmallows?"

I handed her the bag. "Peace offering. Truce?"

"Fine" she said, grabbing the bag and slamming her fist with mine. "I can't really blame you for a guy who is madly in love with me"

"Did I miss something?" Peyton asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, but it's over now. I'm actually more interested in finding out what's been going on with Jake?" Brooke said as she stuffed a marshmallow in her mouth.

"Same old, same old. We talk, we laugh, I see him with someone else, I cry. What else is new?" she sighed.

"I don't understand. Isn't he your best friend?" I asked, grabbing Nathan's jacket from the ground and wrapping it around my body.

"He was. Until that whole fiasco last year where we kissed when he was drunk. Now, he talk sometimes and I think he knows how I feel but he's not doing anything about it so I decided to leave it the way it is"

We were silent for a while before Brooke spoke up.

"I wish we could go back to the way we were. You know as kids when we never really cared about falling in love and being loved. I wish I didn't have all these painful memories in my head" she said, tapping her head.

"Me too. I wish I could go back to being a child when I wasn't in love" Peyton added.

"That doesn't apply to me though" I said wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Why not?" Peyton asked as she shivered in the cool of the night.

"I've felt this way for a long time. This feeling of being in love"

"Really? Since when?" Brooke asked, curious.

I laughed softly. "All my life, Brooke. All my life".


	70. Who Am I To Say?

**I'm back!!!!**

"It lies by the shadow of the day" I mutter as I scribble on a piece of paper. I scowled to myself. That sounded weird. And this has to be perfect. Perfect like nothing has ever been. For him, for me…It was the perfect end to a perfect relationship; maybe it will even set me free.

I sat back on the log I was sitting on, leaning against a tree. I sat in a clearing not far from the campsite Brooke and Peyton still were in. I needed some time and space; plus when Brooke and Peyton start talking about anything at all, it was hard to keep up. It was nice to have a girl best friend, a right I had forfeited the first time I locked eyes with a pair of baby blues that set my heart racing every time they stared intensely at me. Brooke and Peyton had that rare special friendship that could create conversations that sent your head spinning. They had started off with clothes and somehow were on the topic of whether birds could be angels in disguise since they could fly. I'm not sure who was the pro and con on this subject of debate because they kept switching sides. Like one second Peyton was on the pro side and Brooke on the con side when suddenly they switched sides again.

The clearing was dark and I could barely make out the words I had scribbled on the paper. I was hoping that the words weren't illegible; I needed to read them later. And with the exception of the last sentence I was pretty proud of the song I was writing. I scratched out the last line, frowning.

"Now, why on Earth would the prettiest girl in all the lands be sitting in the darkness, all alone?" a voice rang out through the clearing, strong and deep.

I smiled but didn't look up. "Maybe her boyfriend left her" I said, keeping my head bent down. I tapped my pen against the paper, praying that perfect lyrics would flow from my head.

"He must be an idiot" the voice said again, neared this time. "Or completely blind".

"Probably. My judgment is a bit off when it comes to boys" I called back.

"Would you forgive a poor chap that left the beautiful maiden on a cool night like this?" he asked, in an exaggerated English accent. From the corner of my eye, I could see that he had already stepped into the clearing.

"If the chap has come bearing gifts and such, maybe thee can find it in one's heart to put on a smile and give good grace to the miserable chap who's eyesight is a little off" I answered back, lowering my voice down since he was nearer.

I heard the crunch of leaves as he walked closer to me. He stopped when he was in front of me but I still didn't look up.

"Alas, gifts good enough to be presented to the poor maiden with the deep brown eyes, worthy enough to be used and looked at by her and only her" he sighed dramatically and I stifled a smile. "I bear no gifts of such sort".

"I am sorry to hear that, sir. However, this maiden gets what she wants and a lowly chap with a lack of taste and wisdom in a lady's nature does not get very far" I replied, not even sure my words make sense. Never mind, he knew what I was saying before I even said it.

He bent down so that he could look at me eye to eye. I finally raised my head to meet his eyes. No matter how many times I look into his eyes, I will never get used to the beauty that is my Nathan.

"Would a flower do?" he asked softly as he handed me a flower. A purple one, of course.

"Sir, you are much forgiven" I grinned as I took the flower from him.

"Is the maiden too concerned with appearance to give a chap a kiss?" he asked, leaning towards me.

"Never" I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. I kissed him softly before pulling away and leaning my forehead against his. "I missed you".

"You should have said so" he said, pulling away gently from my embrace. He moved and sat on the log next to me. "I wouldn't have left then" he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"No, you should have gone. How was the guy thing?" I asked, snuggling up to him.

He groaned. "Painful, boring, and every other negative adjective you could think of".

"Annoying, irritating, frustrating" I added.

"Exactly".

"Provoking, unsatisfying, aggravating…" I carried on.

He stared at me hard. "You think too much".

"Define too much".

"Half as much as you think"

"Oh, sorry. You were saying about your guy thing. Go on".

"There's really nothing to tell" he reached into his knapsack. He pulled out two steaming hot paper cups of cocoa and handed one to me. "Here, I thought you would be cold".

"Thanks" I said, taking the cup of cocoa. I took a sip and it nearly warmed me more than the arm around me. "You didn't fight with your dad did you?"

"No. I was a very good boy" he teased.

"Seriously".

"I punched him in the nose and kicked him in the ribs".

"Nathan!".

"Kidding" he said, taking a sip of cocoa. "Nothing really happened. It was more boring than anything actually".

"At one moment when you were gone, I actually wished I was a guy so that I could go with you" I said, playfully.

"Haley, that's gross!".

"What?" I asked, pretending to be insulted. "You mean, you wouldn't want to be with me if I was a guy?"

He rolled his eyes, so used to me. "I'm not answering that".

"Are you saying you wouldn't find me attractive or go for me if I was a boy?" I paused, with my mouth slightly open for dramatic effect. "Why not? The only thing different would be my gender, everything else would be the same!".

"You would still cry at the end of Titanic?" he asked, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Probably, it was a great amazing movie" I said, indignantly.

"You would still sleep with your arms crossed over your heart and sit with your legs crossed over one another? Or kiss the back of every new CD you get? Or run you hand through your hair and frown every time somebody annoyed you?"

"Okay" I thought for a moment. "Probably not".

"Why do you do that anyway?" he asked, suddenly thoughtful.

"Annoy you? I don't know, for fun I guess".

"No, sleep with your arms crossed over your heart?" he asked, curiously. "I mean, I always wondered about it. It's a normal sleeping pose I guess but you hold yourself so tight, it doesn't seem natural to sleep that way".

I shrugged. "I don't know. Habit I guess".

He stared at me for a long time. "Are you cold?"

I looked at my arms naturally wrapped around my body. "No. Not really".

"There are goose bumps on your arms" he trailed a finger down my arm. The line he traced immediately warmed up and the hair on my arm lay back down.

"Oh" I said, still looking down at my arms. "I guess I didn't notice".

"Here" he shrugged off his jacket. I must have left it in the campsite. I didn't even realize it. All I had on was a sweater.

"Thank you" I said, taking it from him. We sat in silence for a while, not speaking, not moving, his arms wrapped around me naturally. This felt normal; good. I wasn't even thinking, it was almost like falling asleep into a calmness that the world seems to have forgotten.

"23" he suddenly said.

"Hmmm?" I asked, tilting my head back. I closed my eyes.

"23" he rested his chin on my head. "That's how many times I missed you tonight; how many times I told myself that I missed you actually".

"And here I was thinking you couldn't count pass 10" I teased, smiling as I snuggled up closer to him.

"You must have a good influence on me then"

"I must have".

He kissed the top of my head. "You ready to get back?"

I groaned. "Can we just enjoy this for a while? I miss you"

"I'll be with you when we go back to the campsite"

"Yeah, but I like it when it's just you and me. These are the moments I live for actually. When we're surrounded by people, it feels like I have to share a piece of something beautiful".

"Something beautiful, huh?"

I groaned again. "Okay, let's go" I said, opening my eyes and getting to my feet. I walked off as he stumbled to his feet.

He laughed and I was so captured in the beauty of the sound, the sheer pleasure in his joy that I forgot the piece of the paper that I had written the song in. The song written for Nagume, for Uncle Keith and most of all for Lydia and James. The song of goodbyes, the song to end it all and to begin my journey into the world with Nathan beside me and nothing standing between us.

I didn't notice him pick it up, I didn't notice him frown. I didn't see his face twist into a look of overwhelming pain and didn't see him pocket the paper without a word.

I didn't realize that he now knew what he always suspected. That maybe it was time to let me go.

"Okay, the rules are pretty simple. No shooting above the waist or within a three feet radius. No filling up the guns with anything else or using a different type of weapon. No…Haley!"

"What?" my head turned to face Nathan. "I was listening".

He looked exasperated. "You were not. This is the fourth time I caught you not listening".

"I was listening!" I defended.

"Okay" he said, nodding. "What did I say?"

My eyes widened. Shoot. I looked around at Brooke and Peyton for support but they looked just as confused as I did. They were looking down at the ground, sheepishly, probably relieved that they weren't the ones put on the spot. I quickly looked at Jake and Lucas. They were covering their faces with their hands, trying not to laugh.

"Um" I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"I was just going over the rules of paint ball" he said, lifting up the paintball gun. "Listen up, I don't need you getting hurt".

"It's paintball, Nathan" I exclaimed. "Its like a paint fight, just a little more complex. I'm sure I'll keep up fine. And they weren't listening too!" I pointed at Brooke and Peyton.

"I'm not concerned about their safety" he said, evenly.

"Oh" Brooke huffed. "Thanks a lot".

"You know what I meant" Nathan said, not taking his eyes of me.

"Okay, Nathan. I think we all know what you meant" Lucas spoke up. He lifted up his gun. "Can we play now?"

"Okay" Nathan said, shrugging. He picked up the paintball guns on the floor and handed one to Brooke and the other to Peyton. "It's already been filled up, the clearing has been bordered up. It's 2 acres big but I doubt we'll need that much space. If you get lost, walk to the tape wrapped around the clearing and follow it back here. Got it?"

"Yes, Kowalski" Brooke piped up.

"Kowalski?" Peyton asked.

"The penguin in Madagascar" Brooke muttered, grabbing a helmet of the floor. She grabbed the jumpsuit too. "Does this come in any other shade?" she asked, crinkling her nose at the sight of the green outfit.

"I think it's to camouflage you against predators" Peyton answered, picking hers up too.

"And against boys too apparently" she said. She squirmed as she wore it over her cargo shorts and white halter.

"Do you think this fits me?" Peyton asked, placing the helmet over her head. It fell and covered her eyes.

Jake laughed. "Here" he said, handing her his helmet which was smaller. He took her helmet off and put his own one on her blond curls. Then, he tightened the straps, adjusting it on her head. "There you go. All set".

Peyton looked flustered. She recovered quickly, exchanging glances with Brooke. "Thanks" she said, before adding "But I doubt you want us to have visibility in this game since it improves our chances of kicking your butt".

"Boys versus girls? And you winning?" Lucas spoke up. He grinned, already wearing in full gear.

"I'd bet on us" Brooke said, her jumpsuit somehow fitting perfectly on her and highlighting her curves. She skipped to Lucas and flipped the tag of his jumpsuit. "Especially since you got you clothes on backwards".

Everyone laughed and Lucas blushed. He unzipped his jumpsuit while mock scowling at Brooke. "You're first on my list, Davis".

"Well, what are you waiting for Broody?" Brooke said, holding her gun up. "Shall we?" she asked, graciously pointing towards the clearing.

I made to move with the four of them towards the clearing but Nathan grabbed my arm. "Wait a sec, Hales".

"Come on" I said, tugging on his arm. "All the good hiding places will be gone".

He looked amused. "You're not supposed to hide. You're supposed to attack"

"Fine" I rolled my eyes. "Then all the good attacking places will be gone".

He laughed as he took something out from his pocket. "Here" he handed it to me.

"A whistle?" I asked, holding it up. Then I realized what he was trying to do. "Oh. No, Nathan".

"Come on. You probably don't even have to use it. Just blow on it when you get lost" he said.

"If I get lost" I corrected. I scowled. "Can't I act like an adult once in a while without you babying me?"

"You can" he said, a slow smile forming on his face. "But where's the fun in that?"

I sighed. "Books should be written about you, Nathan"

"I know" he said putting the whistle around my neck. "At least I'll know you're safe"

"I won't use it you know" I said, indignantly. "It's only 2 acres with no animals or woodland creatures for me to run from, no roots to trip over, no other people. Ten-year old kids are running around here, by themselves! I am seventeen years old! This is borderline absurd and…"

"Haley" Nathan cut in. "You're taking the whistle" he said, firmly.

I made an annoyed sound. "Fine" I grabbed it from him, giving him a stare.

He looked satisfied. I frowned determined to show him how annoyed I was. But when he tilted my head up and kissed me sweetly on my lips, I couldn't help kissing him back.

"Come on, Ace Ventura" he said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the clearing. I squealed in delight when we stepped through the boundary. I've always wanted to play paintball ever since I was a kid. It seemed so thrilling, running away and shooting at enemies. Like being Indiana Jones for a day.

As soon as we entered the clearing, I released his hand and ran towards the spot of trees where Brooke and Peyton were standing behind.

"Be careful" Nathan yelled after me. I waved my hand at him as I ran towards Brooke and Peyton.

"Hey" I said, breathlessly as I reached Brooke and Peyton. I turned to wave again at Nathan but he had already disappeared. A little disappointed, I turned again to face the girls. "What's the plan?"

"Okay, since Peyton kind of has a thing for Jake, or not" Brooke added when Peyton jerked her elbow in her ribs.

"Not" Peyton frowned.

"Today maybe. Let's see what you say tomorrow"

"Guys" I cut in.

"Are you saying I'm indecisive?" Peyton challenged.

"I'm saying you're a woman".

"Jake and I are done. I mean we never started but I don't really care anymore"

"Fine" Brooke shrugged. "I'll take Jake".

"No" Peyton said quickly. "It's okay. I'll take him".

Brooke smiled as if she was sharing a private joke with herself. She turned to me, still smiling. "You take Nathan because we know that Nathan would never…"

"Ever" Peyton added.

"Hurt you" Brooke continued. "That means you can just walk up to him, do a little dance, maybe even skip in a circle, and then shoot him. He wouldn't even raise his gun"

"You exaggerate" I muttered.

Brooke and Peyton raised their eyebrows at me.

"Okay, maybe not" I said considering it.

"And I'll take on Lucas" Brooke said smugly, lifting her gun up. "We've got a deal to settle".

"Okay, that's it then. What are we waiting for now?" I asked, looking around for the familiar glimpse of dark brown hair.

"Jake is going to give us a signal when they're ready" Peyton said, looking up in the sky.

No sooner had the words come out of her mouth when there was a loud squeal. We all looked up at the sky to see a bright stream of red light illuminating the sky.

"Gotta tell you. Those boys don't do anything halfway" Brooke said dryly.

"Let's go" I said loudly as we ran into our separate ways.

Fifteen minutes into the game and I was high on adrenaline and fear. I had already reached the other side of the clearing, yet I haven't bumped into anybody. It was fun, amazing and everything I had dreamed of. I was hiding behind trees, rolling around in the mud and was keeping my gun in check. I hadn't heard a gunshot yet so I assumed that every else was still in the game.

And Nathan was worried! Please! I was born to play this game! I wasn't a child, I was a fighter! An adult! Nobody could hurt me! I was invincible!

"Oh!" I exclaimed loudly as my foot connected with a tree root. I screamed as I fell down in pain, my body twisting in the opposite direction of my foot. I landed with my elbows bent and the impact of the fall reverberated through my body. I screamed again as I felt the second wave of pain.

When the pain had become a constant feeling, I finally was able to sit up, panting slightly. Groaning, hating myself, I reached for the whistle around my neck and blew.

I hate it when Nathan was right.

"So Lucas was standing right there, pressed against a tree, hiding from what he thought was me, but wasn't. I took off my jumpsuit and pinned it to another tree. Lucas was taking a shot when out of nowhere, I run out wearing a white top and cargo shots which practically scream against the color of the forest"

"Literally" Peyton added, grinning. "I had to cover my ears to block out the sheer loudness of her outfit"

"And when Lucas is facing the other way, I shoot him! First on his leg then the other leg and I'm just taking another shot when…"

"Jake comes out of nowhere and shoots Brooke in the leg!" Peyton continued for her, eagerly, caught up in the moment.

"He didn't really come out of nowhere though" Brooke mused.

"Oh?" Peyton asked, looking worriedly at Brooke.

"No, I kind of sensed him, you know" Brooke said, frowning.

"Like Haley Joel Osment?" Peyton asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah except Jake isn't dead, so my powers are more relevant"

"Unless you're in Salem" Peyton bit her lip. "Wait, I'm telling the story wrong, aren't I?"

"No, you're doing fine" Brooke reassured her.

"Are you sure?"

"That's it!" Jake suddenly exclaimed. "My turn. Then Brooke and Lucas start yelling at each other for no absolute reason"

"And then they start making out" Peyton said, grimacing.

"Hey!" Brooke exclaimed. "Private stuff!"

"Well, then doing it privately" Peyton said, sticking her tongue out.

"Then, it's just me and Peyton. And she's…" Jake's voice trailed off as my eyes fell shut and I dozed off in Nathan's arms.

I think it was a while later when he woke me up because the seats around the bonfire were empty and everyone had left. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and he pulled me to my feet slowly.

"How's your ankle?" he asked as I winced in pain.

"It's okay" I lied as I gingerly put weight on it. Ouch, that hurt.

"Come on" he said, bending down and sweeping me off my feet literally.

"Why, Mr. Scott, who knew you could be so charming?" I said as I leant my head against his shoulder as he carried me through the forest to our tent.

He didn't smile. He hesitated before saying "You dropped something yesterday" as he looked everywhere else but at me.

"Yeah?" I asked, yawning.

"Reach into my jacket pocket. I think you might want it back" he muttered, looking away.

I did as he asked me to, confused. I pulled out a piece of paper, reading it carefully before I looked at him again. "It's my song" I realized.

"Yeah"

"I didn't really realize it was missing," I told him.

"I see"

"Is something wrong?" I asked, looking at him carefully. He didn't look at me but kept on walking, me still in his arms. "Is it the song? Because this is just a draft. If it sucks, then I'll change it"

"Haley" he cut it, sighing.

"What?" I asked, puzzled by the expression on his face. "You're scaring me, Nathan"

"I'm sorry. You know I would never want to hurt you"

"Okay" I said slowly.

"But I think you need space" he hesitated as he finally looked at my confused expression. "From me"

I paused for a moment, didn't breathe, didn't speak, didn't move. I think even my internal body systems stopped functioning for a while. It was like I was watching a car accident waiting to happen but I couldn't do anything to stop it from occurring.

"I…" I shook my head. "I…. What?" I asked, loudly unable to comprehend anything.

"Haley" he began.

"Shut up. Just stop talking. Let me down" I said, struggling against his arms. My mind went blank. I pushed myself out of his arms but didn't feel the pain when I dropped to my feet. I didn't feel anything actually. I made sure I was steady again before walking away as best I could.

"Haley" Nathan called after me.

"Go away. Go away. Go away" I muttered, stomping away.

"Haley, please just listen to me," he pleaded with me, his voice desperate.

I swung around to face him, livid. "You're breaking up with me?" I asked, my voice cracking.

He stopped walking too and we just stood there facing each other. I couldn't believe what was happening. Everything was fine. He was supposed to love me, not leave me! This was a dream, a nightmare, and any second now I was going to wake up and find myself snuggled against his shoulder, laughing as I tell him my dream.

"Temporarily" he finally answered.

I scoffed, shocked. "And you think that whatever time you're willing to take me back, that I'm just going to jump right back in your arms, is that it?"

"No, that's not it" he said, firmly but I refused to listen to him.

"So you're just going off to play the field and I'll just sit here waiting for you to realize that I am the one for you, huh?" I continued. "And then, I don't know, maybe next year, you'll find someone else but I shouldn't worry because she's only temporarily whereas I'm permanent!"

"It's not like that," he yelled trying to make me listen.

"Because if you think for one second that I'm that desperate" I stopped short. I couldn't threaten him; if he was going to do that, then the only thing I see myself doing is waiting for him to realize that I've always been the one.

"I'm doing this for you!" he shouted, his blue eyes widened at his shock of raising his voice to me.

"Oh, for me?" I asked, pretending to be flustered. "Next time, why not just run me over with a train, huh? It will be a shorter death than this one!" I turned away to stomp off.

"Haley! Haley" he grabbed my arm to stop me. His touch nearly made me cry. How could I live without it, even for a short time?

"What? Huh?" I yelled. "You got your wish. I'm leaving. You never have to see me again!" I wiped my face, which was streaming with tears with my sleeve quickly.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, his voice suddenly soft as he turned me around to face him. "That I never want to see you again?"

I couldn't speak so without looking at him, I nodded.

"I never want to hurt you, Beautiful" he said softly.

"Then don't" I said exasperatedly. "Just take it back" I waved my hand desperately. "Take it back"

"I can't. I have to leave you for a while" he muttered looking away.

"Why?" I asked, confused. "I thought you like me"

He laughed shortly, the hurt not leaving his eyes. "It's because I like you that I must do this"

"But why?" I raised my arms and dropped it back down. "I thought this was going well"

"It is going well" he insisted. "It's going nearly perfect in fact"

"Then why are you doing this?" I asked in a small voice.

He sighed. Wordlessly, he took my hand, which still held the paper with my song written on it. He raised my hand and jerked his head at the paper.

I looked at the song for a moment before looking up to face him. "Was my song that bad?" I asked, baffled.

"The words, Hales" he said, a pained expression in your eyes. "The words…I didn't realize how much you were hurting"

"It's just a goodbye to me!" I said, wanting to explain. "I'm trying to say goodbye to everyone who left, it's a way for me to let go"

"You're not going to let go, Hales. Not yet"

"What?" I asked, frowning. "What do you mean?'

"You need time and space. I've been squeezing you tight that sometimes I forget to let you breathe and the only way you can do that is if I leave"

"Nathan…" I said softly.

"You have to say goodbye to them so you can let go of the pain. And you can't let go unless you really feel it one last time" he shook his head and looked down. "I can't watch you in pain" he brushed a lone tear from his cheek and it nearly tore my heart. "I always have to do something so you don't feel that pain. It's just in my nature. That's why I have to let you go. Just for a while"

"I can come back to you?" I asked, hopefully.

"When you're ready. I'll always be waiting for you"

I slowly walked backwards a few steps, the distance between us already killing me. "Can I come back now?" I asked, desperately.

He smiled sadly. He shook his head.

I took another few steps back. "Now?"

He sighed and walked to me, taking a deep breath. He looked at me and slowly took my hand to kiss it. I placed my hand on his cheek and ran my hair through his hair. He put both hands on my face and stared into my eyes for the longest time before saying for the first time ever out loud "I've always loved you, Hales. Ever since you dropped your ice cream on the first day we met and made me give you mine. I'll never stop loving you. Come back to me soon. Even if it takes forever, I'll still be waiting"

I shut my eyes to block the tears and nodded. He wrapped my arms around my waist and we just swayed back on forth for the longest time. We stood there forever, holding each other close, not knowing when we would hold each other again.


	71. Twins Are The Most Dangerous Kind

"You will never guess who's coming here to spend the remaining school years attending Tree Hill High?" Brooke squealed.

Peyton blinked before looking up slowly at her friend. "No!"

"Yes!" Brooke shrieked, jumping up and down excitedly.

"The Parker twins?" Brooke nodded. Peyton screamed. "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"I know!" Brooke exclaimed.

"The twins that put a new name to pop and rock music!"

"The same ones that bagged three Grammy's and two Oscars each for the same movie!"

"Noah and Emily Parker, their first single stayed in the box office for four consecutive weeks"

"Their first movie was nominated for six Oscars and actually got a good rating on Rotten Tomatoes"

Peyton blinked. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, nobody gets a good rating on Rotten Tomatoes" Brooke explained.

"Wall-E did"

"I stand corrected"

"So, they're actually going to school here?" Peyton asked, her eyes shining.

"Yes" Brooke answered. "Apparently they like the whole small town scenario and they want to complete their education before taking over the whole again"

"Wow" Peyton sighed. "Noah Parker. He's like the most gorgeous thing in the planet"

"I know. And we actually get to see him up close"

"Those eyes"

"That hair"

"The smile"

"That sister" Lucas suddenly said, coming up from nowhere. He grabbed a bagel of Peyton's plate and took a large bite out of it. "Emily is a babe"

"I never thought about it that way" Brooke suddenly said, worried.

"What?" Peyton asked, turning to face her. She grabbed a large cookie off Brooke's plate and took a bite, grimacing as she did. "How long has this been sitting here?"

"Well, Emily is just as fine as Noah, thought not in a way that we might find her attractive"

"Eww, no" Peyton shuddered.

"What happens if she steals our eye candy?" Brooke asked loudly, slapping Peyton on the arm.

"Who?" Peyton asked, scornfully. "Ronald Peters?" she said as she pointed at a now familiar head looking through the window at us.

"Urgh!" Brooke exclaimed. "Go away, Ronald! I told you already, I'm not interested!"

"If you could just…" Ronald said, standing up to peer at us through the window before he was cut off Brooke.

"No!" she yelled as she made her way to the window and slammed it shut. She turned to face us, gritting her teeth. "Anyway, she could be a challenge to us"

"Oh. Maybe we could put a bag over her head and hit her until we give her a black eye" Peyton suggested.

"Or give her as a welcoming present a gift basket filled with designer products that's real purpose is to fill every inch of her body with rashes"

"She'd still be hot" Lucas said, unhelpfully.

"We'll think of something" Brooke said frowning.

"Legal" Peyton added.

"Unless we're desperate"

"Which we are"

"But at least out faces might be posted on billboards"

"Tabloids"

"Magazines"

"Milk cartons"

"How do you think my face will look in black and white?"

"Cute as a button"

"Thank you, Joe"

"No problem, Smith"

Lucas rolled his eyes. He sat down at our table and asked very quietly, though in my wandering mind, I still managed to catch "Is Haley alright?"

Three sets of eyes turned slowly to face me. I wasn't listening to them so I barely noticed. I just kept staring outside the window, dazed and confused.

"Nathan broke up with her" Brooke whispered.

Lucas laughed humorlessly. He stopped short when he realized that Brooke was telling the truth. "No way!" he exclaimed. "You're kidding"

"Afraid so, Captain. But it isn't very nice to talk about people when they're three centimeters away from you so let's drop it shall we?" Peyton said considerately.

"Haley, honey. Are you okay?" Brooke asked gently.

There was a beautiful patch of flowers growing outside Karen's Café that I had never noticed. It was very beautiful, but there were no blue flowers. There should be blue flowers! It was the most beautiful color that existed, if I had to survive on just one color it would be that shade of blue. I would wear that color every day, apply make up in that shade, hold it in my arms and cry on its shoulder if it was ever to leave me.

"Honey?" Brooke asked again, placing a hand on my arm. I jumped three feet in the air.

"Oh, sorry" I said, quietly when they jumped backwards in shock.

"It's alright. Bagel?" Lucas asked, handing me his.

"No, that's okay" I said, shaking my head. "I should probably go home anyway. It's been a long weekend"

"Are you sure? That big house gets pretty lonely sometimes" Peyton raised her eyebrows, trying to hide her expression of pity.

"I'm sure. I just want to be alone right now"

I left after they told me a million times to call them if I wanted to say. I smiled and said I would. It was easier to lie than tell the truth.

I took the long way home. Or the short way. I'm not very sure which way it was. All I knew was that it would get me home. Or maybe it didn't even do that. I just kept walking and walking down streets, past houses and across roads, not realizing where I was. Subconsciously, lost in thought, dreaming, I had walked further and longer than I normally would have. Or maybe I knew exactly where I was going, where the road would take me because somehow I ended up in the street I always knew I would come back and see.

It was an old street, with large trees looming over the houses making the place seem dark and scary. Most of the houses had broken windows and no doors. It wasn't unusual to see peeling paint and caved in roofs on this street. But this place has always been magical to me. Beautiful almost.

Nobody lived on this street. A rich guy from New York had come in and bought the whole street of houses. Everyone vacating the place had been given a huge sum of money and had migrated south. The owner of the street was supposed to demolish the houses and build a huge mall but his project was called off or postponed due to lack of money. This street had been vacated for years and it had been used for scary slumber parties, dares and club initiatives. Over the years, time had taken care of the overgrown grass and worn down houses.

I had been here only once in my life. I was seven years old. Amazing how ten years later I could still remember where the street was. I was right and spot on for the street looked exactly like how I remembered it.

In the middle of the street, build like a magical castle with long towers and high arches, it was as close a house could like a palace without looking out of place. I remembered an article being written on this particular house, condemning the architect for it's over imaginative design. I didn't care; it was a beautiful house, out of a fairytale.

_I'm going to buy this for us when we get married. _

_This house._

_Where else will a princess like you stay?_

My fairytale is not over. It's just screeched to a halt.

Maybe I should go and hang out with my other friends. I did love them; they were fun to be around. I didn't really want to be alone tonight.

It was then I noticed him. He was sitting on the doorsteps of _our _house. God, how I loved him.

I turned around and ran home.

For the first time in a while, I was looking forward to school. I couldn't wait for the bright red numbers displayed on my digital clock to blink and ring indicating that it was time for me to get up. I shot out of bed, showered and dressed in ten minutes flat. I lingered in front of my mirror longer than necessary. I was paler than usual, a sharp contrast to my red lips that I had chewed on all night. My dark hair seemed less messy than usual. I had been running my hand through my hair all night, lost in thought. I looked like a different version of me. My dark eyes seemed darker than usual and there were bags under them.

I reached school early. There were a lot of students already there. I was surprised. Does everyone get to school on time? Was I the late bird? There seemed to be a large commotion near the school doors. At least twenty students were standing on the front steps of school, and thirty more in the front garden with at least twenty students pressed up against in the school corridors looking out the window. I spotted Brooke and Peyton in the heart of the crowd.

"Haley! Haley!" Brooke shouted to me. She seemed to be struggling against the crowd. As I walked over to her, she elbowed some girl in the face. "I was here first you" and then she said a word I really don't want to repeat. I had to smile; vicious Brooke was difficult to be around.

"What's up guys?" I asked as I made my way to them.

"She's kidding, right?" Brooke asked Peyton, speaking over my head.

"Maybe she thinks she's being funny" Peyton answered.

I must have looked confused before they exchanged looks of shock.

"I don't believe this" Peyton said in an awe voice.

"I know" Brooke replied in that same tone. "To be so naïve and innocent" she said hopefully. "I mean it *****!" she yelled to the same girl who had tried to shove her out of the crowd.

Everyone started getting rowdy and shoving each other. I was still baffled. Brooke and Peyton were in the middle of pulling someone else's hair. I think they must have accidentally been pulling each other's hair because all of a sudden, they turned on each other. I should have gotten popcorn. I really don't think the words they were using should be allowed to be heard by students. I thought the teachers would get involved or something but when I looked over at them, I realized that they were even worse! They were actually slapping each other on the face!

I smirked. Who knew it was going to be a good day?

A screeching sound caused everyone to stop and the whole school fell silent. A black limo pulled up into the school's road. It was so silent that I could actually think. My brain put two and two together.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "The twins are coming, aren't they?"

"Now she gets it" Peyton muttered.

"Shhh!" Brooke hissed, her eyes glued to the limo.

The limo stopped. There was no movement inside or outside the limo. Pin drop silence. I suddenly felt a very bad urge to stand up and scream 'Barack Obama for President!'. But I kept silent.

Finally, the door opened. I swear I felt everyone's heart rate increase. Felt it. Then a perfectly tan leg, complete with a pedicure and accessories popped out of the car. Everyone held his or her breath. I heard Brooke curse about how she's been trying to get that shoe for forever. A second leg joined the first and then the perfect body appeared complete with the flawless face.

All hell broke lose. People started cheering and screaming. I swear I heard the football team sob. Teachers jumped up and down. Brooke and Peyton started yelling every flaw about her figure and face but luckily the screams blocked them out. Poppers were popped. The band started playing.

Sometimes, I really hate small towns.

Emily Parker stood in front of the limo, wearing faded jeans, frayed at the knees and a simple white blouse, smiling sweetly trying to cover her shocked expression. I don't think she was expecting this. She seemed like a normal teenage girl from where I was standing. A normal girl with an extraordinary face. Her mouth was moving and I think she was trying to be heard over the noise. Instantly, everything stopped once more.

She looked taken aback once more. "Hi" she said, nervously, smiling her perfect white teeth. "Thank you for this…Wow, this is really…uh…"

The principal marched up at that point and held out his hand. She took it; I had never seen anyone relief at the sight of our principal. They talked for a while though I couldn't hear anything they were saying. Then he was leading her to the front door of our school, still deep in conversation. Every one started straining and shoving each other to try and get her autograph or touch her. Every one was screaming her name. Surprisingly she complied. She must be nicer than I thought. Pictures were taken and more poppers were popped. Finally she seemed to reach the place Brooke, Peyton and I were standing. Brooke seemed to tense up; she seems to think that she had a game to settle with this blond.

Emily was standing right in front of us, mid-smile with Brooke ready to pounce on her when suddenly a huge roar sounded from the road leading up to the school. Everyone looked up in surprise and I realized that we had forgotten something.

Or someone.

A huge bike was being ridden down the road leading to school. The biker switched off the engine and skidded to a halt, inches away from the limo. The rider got off the bike and ripped of his helmet.

I swear that every girl in the crowd literally swooned.

That hair, those eyes, that smirk… He looked like a Greek God. Every part of him was perfect. No poster or TV screen had done him justice. Brooke clutched at me and Peyton fainted. My knees were swaying. Actually, they weren't. Those blond good looks had no impact on me. I prefer my guys' dark. But even I had to admit that he was staggeringly beautiful.

Noah Parker smiled at the crowd. He scanned the sea of people, spotted his sister and jogged up to her. I tried to revive Peyton who had slumped to the ground but she seemed out of it. I slapped her face but all she did was sigh. Her weight was on me and I stumbled trying to keep vertical. Okay, now my knees are swaying.

"Hey, sis. Sorry I'm late" Noah called out in his strong deep voice.

She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, looking perfect. He reached her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder about to say something else when someone caught his eye.

I didn't even know that he was looking at me until every else turned to face me. I was looking at Peyton when I realized that the crowd had gone silent again. I looked up to find these honey gold eyes penetrate into mine. Noah Parker was staring at me in wonderment.


	72. It Doesn't Change What You Did

"Hi" he said in his deep voice.

I looked around to see if he was actually talking to me. Finally I turned to face him confused.

"Uh… hi" I replied looking down at Peyton, trying to hold her up.

"I'm Noah," he said, walking up to me, holding his hand out. I looked at his baffled before I realized that he was trying to talk to me.

"My hands are tied actually" I said, looking at Peyton, then back at him. His eyes were actually mesmerizing, dazzling me like an angel would. His lips curved into a crooked smile. Everyone sighed at his famous crooked smile. Emily just looked at her brother in confusion. He seemed to be acting out of character.

"Noah, we have to go" Emily urged. "The principal is waiting". Noah didn't budge. He just kept staring at me. Emily stepped on his foot and never before has that act looked more graceful.

"Oh, sorry" he said softly, tearing his eyes away from mine. His sister grabbed his arm and dragged him away. When they were five feet away, he slowly released his arm and turned to face me.

"I didn't get your name?" he called out, raising an eyebrow. I swear everyone in school was looking at me, wondering what I was going to say.

I hesitated. "It's Haley"

He nodded and blinked. "Yeah, that sounds about right" he smiled again. "It was a pleasure to meet you Haley".

Then he turned and left. And every girl in that vicinity started screaming and yanking at my arm eager for news. Did I know him? Have I met him before? What did I think of him?

Surprisingly enough, I didn't care. I turned around while everyone around me was yelling for my attention but in that sea of people, the one face that was important to me didn't stick out.

I didn't see Noah or Emily for the first few days. They seemed to be always crowded when they weren't in class and I only had one class with each of them. Algebra with Noah and English Literature with Emily.

I saw Nathan though. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him. And every thing he did made me want him even more. I yearned to wrap my arms around him and kiss him; sometimes I nearly did but always those cool blue eyes that swept past me would make me cringe on the spot. He was trying to make it easier by ignoring me; it didn't mean anything. Didn't mean he didn't still want me, I tried to convince myself.

I was actually in the tutor room, going through a tutee's paper when I heard a knock sound at the door. I looked up surprised. Most regular tutors and tutees would just barge in.

"Come in" I said, looking down again. It was probably a janitor; it was pretty late, nearing five. I should be leaving soon.

"I knew we'd meet again," a now familiar voice said.

I looked up only to blink my eyes, dazzled again. He was so beautiful; it shocked me when he almost jumped at me from out of nowhere. Subconsciously, my eyes ran up and down his figure, taking in every aspect of him. He was a stranger, everything seemed mysterious.

I was still staring speechless when he cocked an eyebrow at me. "Are you okay?" he asked kindly.

I blinked again. "I'm sorry" I looked down at the mess of papers in front of me. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so" he walked towards me and leaned against the wall beside my table. "You're a tutor right?"

"So everyone says" I muttered, shuffling the papers in front of me.

He gave me that slow crooked smile again. "You're funny"

"You're wasting my time" I said before I could assess my thoughts. He looked surprised. It just came out. I didn't mean it. It was hard for me to be nice to him when he seemed to be so confident and sure of himself. It made me insecure. "I'm sorry"

"It's alright. I have a tendency to drag conversations" his eyes penetrated into mine. "Especially with interesting people"

"I think we left off with me saying that I was a tutor"

"Oh, well I am behind in Algebra. I was hoping you could give me a hand with that" he asked, his eyes slowly dimming of that playful look.

"I'm pretty busy now. But maybe I could…" I stopped short when he shook his head.

"It's you or nothing at all, James"

"Why me?"

He hesitated. "You seem to be the only person in this school who hasn't been following me around or intercepting me between classes" he shook his head. "That brunette friend of yours…"

"Brooke"

"Yeah, she scares me"

I laughed. "I guess I could squeeze you in but you have to give all or nothing, okay? I don't have time to teach you stuff again and again"

"I'll be studious" he nodded. "Thank you for your time James" that comment made me sting a bit as I wondered how I could be rude to someone who was so nice. He made to leave and was at the door when I suddenly looked up and spoke up again.

"Hey" he turned to face me. "How did you know my last name?"

He smiled slowly. "Bye James"

ILYIJCBWYILYKA

I was supposed to go to meet Noah the next day in the docks for our first tutor session. As I grabbed my bag and made to go home, I paused. It didn't feel right to not feel sad now. But when I thought of those blue eyes again, everything came back in a flash. This sharp pain stabbed at my heart and I almost felt physical numbness. My body's reaction to a pain I could not handle at the moment. I took a deep breath and walked out the tutor room doors. Hesitating, I lingered near the stairs leading to the roof of the school. Fortunately, I was thinking clearly and I realized that my heart would not be able to take visiting the school roof again.

I stumbled out the school doors in a daze. I walked past my car and had gone three feet before I realized that it was behind me. I tripped and fell into the car seat, hitting my head on the wheel. Rubbing the spot, I pulled out of the car park and drove away. I didn't see, didn't think, I just drove.

And that's when I saw it.

A small little purple flower stuck to the windshield of my car.

I wailed and slammed on the brakes. Luckily, there was no car behind me. I quickly pulled up in the side of the road. I was shaking. My hands could not stop trembling. I slowly raised it to my face and tried to control them.

"No no no no no" I kept repeating until it seemed a chant with no tune. A story with no end, a pain with no pleasure, a sky with no light. I pounded the wheel with angry fists, growling in rage. How dare he! How dare he treat me like this! He didn't deserve me, I didn't deserve this! I hated him! I…I..

"Why?" I asked nobody. "Why?" I asked with more anger, furious.

_You said you loved me. You can't take words like that back._

"Did you not mean it?" I whispered.

_I might scream. Or cry._

"Could you hold me please?"

_We'll be together again. Right?_

"I'm going insane" I said tearfully.

I broke down and cried.

ILYIJCBWYILYKA

I couldn't be alone. I made my way to Karen's Café, stopping at the bookshop first, hoping that a good novel would take my mind of things. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that it would cheer me up.

I was browsing through the books when a certain title caught my eye. I grabbed the book and was about to pull it off when another hand came from the other side and covered mine.

"I'm sorry" the owner of the hand said and withdrew his. I couldn't see his face as we were separated by a bookcase but it was a familiar voice.

I smiled. "I didn't peg you for a sentimental guy"

The owner of the hand dropped his hand down. I don't think he expected to see me so soon.

"Please tell me my cover is not blown" he said in a voice that indicated that he was smiling.

"I'll take it to the grave" I considered. "Or possible blare it on the radio tomorrow and pass out flyers around school saying Noah Parker is a romantic"

He walked around the bookcase and leaned against it, facing me.

"Hi" he said intently.

"Hi" I replied, suddenly nervous.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starved" I whispered.

He took me to a diner I had never been before. The empty place made it easier for us to have dinner without being stared or mobbed by. Getting to the diner was fun. He had grabbed my hand and we ran through side alleys and backyards, hoping to not get stalked. It must be fun to be famous.

"Not a salad girl please" Noah said, as we received menus from a burly old man who gave no indication that he knew Noah was famous. He must be the only person in this whole town who wasn't swooning at the sight of Noah.

I rolled my eyes. "A steak burger and an extra fries please" I ordered.

Noah looked surprised and I realized that I liked shocking him. It was nice to be with someone who didn't know everything about you.

"Make it two" he said, not looking away from me. Then his eyes lit up with mischief. "Hey, I'm new in town" he said addressing the burly guy. "You wouldn't happen to know if there was a cinema around here, would you?" he asked pleasantly.

The burly guy looked taken aback. I don't think people talked to him much. He looked down and shrugged, looking surly again.

"Because I really wanted to see that new movie. The one that got all those nominations" Noah carried on politely. "I think it's called Dreams in The Making"

The burly guy suddenly looked up. He looked at Noah closely then to me, then back at Noah.

"You know, it is starring those twins, Parker something?" Noah said. He snapped his fingers like he was trying to remember something. "What were they called, honey?" he asked me, pretending he had no idea. I got to admit, he did deserve that Oscar.

"Don't drag me into this" I muttered, staring at the tacky red tablecloth.

The burly guy's eyes widened as he looked at Noah again. I could see a light bulb go off in his head.

"Now you got it buddy" Noah said, smiling.

The burly guy looked shocked before turning around quickly and disappearing behind the kitchen.

"That was mean" I said, shaking my head.

Noah looked crestfallen. "Oh yeah. I keep forgetting this isn't LA. People just shrug of this kind of thing there. It's different here huh?"

"Well, you're in the company of small town people now, Jimmy"

"I should apologize" he said, slowly. "But that would be embarrassing for everyone present" he smiled. "And for the life of me, I can't figure out how to get up and leave you"

I looked down in embarrassment. Luckily, I was saved the burden of replying when a small girl suddenly came rushing out. She screamed in delight at the sight of Noah and ran back into the kitchen. Noah and I stifled our laughter as we heard her screaming "It's Jeff Bridges, Daddy! Jeff Bridges"

Noah shook his head. "People identify me more as my character in the movie than me"

"Well, they don't know you"

"They're probably better off" he said, turning to face me again. "So are you" he said seriously.

"Good thing I don't know you then" I said, lightly.

He didn't smile. "You look relieved"

I rolled my eyes. "You're not that hard to get to know. At least you don't seem to be"

"Actually, I'm very easy to get to know. My mum says I'm actually quite a catch"

"Well, then it must be true"

"You sound skeptical"

"You keep analyzing my mood"

"Sorry"

I grimaced at his sincerity. He was too nice, I couldn't bear being mean to him even if I was angry with someone else.

"So, tell me about yourself then" I said genuinely interested.

He talked and I listened. Then I talked and he teased. Then we both talked until the sky outside grew heavy with rain and dark with the moon. Glancing at my watch, I saw that two hours had already passed. But we could have easily sat there for another hour or so and we would have if I hadn't looked outside the window.

It was raining. It was hard to see clearly. But suddenly I saw everything. Nathan Scott sitting on a bench opposite the diner, looking miserable and drenched.

My anger disappeared. All I could do was stare at him in love, reaching out to touch the window imagining it was him. I loved him, loved him more than anyone else could love someone. And he missed me. Look at him! He missed me. He loves me too. He loves me back.

"Friend of yours, James?" Noah asked, breaking into my thoughts. He smiled kindly as I looked at him, shocked to find him there, so lost was I in Nathan.

"Yeah" I said, slowly.

He nodded. "Well, he looks like he needs a friend"

"Yeah"

"I'll see you tomorrow" Noah said standing up. I didn't even try to make him sit back down. He picked up the check and bent down to kiss me on my cheek. Then he was gone.

I sighed, gathering my courage. Nathan was still sitting outside and I knew what I had to do then. I picked up my bag and made my way outside in the rain. I stood at the opposite side of the street, my clothes slowly getting drenched. He knew I was there. He slowly raised his head and stared at me, surprised.

I took a deep breath and crossed the street. He watched my every move. I reached the bench and looked at him. I could have stood there forever.

"Don't worry" I said clearly. I walked up to the bench until we were only feet away. "This doesn't change anything"

Then I sat in the opposite end of the bench without looking at him. I don't know how long we sat there, not touching, not talking, barely breathing but it would never be long enough.

"Thank you Haley" he suddenly spoke up.

I fought back a wave of tears at the sound of his voice. I breathed in slowly, controlling myself.

"Anytime"


End file.
